Edward's POV

The thought of Bella being with Jasper at the gym in ridiculously short shorts for running and a tight tank top made me sick. She was my wife; no one else should be able to look at her like that. But I knew I didn't even deserve her anymore. She was an angel and I was just a piece of trash. I was lower than the lowest of low. So after work, I got a little drunk. Drove around and finally found the courage to go home. I knew Bella would be angry with me…

Bella's POV

"Well Edward, way to make me look dumb. I give you a chance to redeem yourself and you get wasted and spend the evening with a whore. What a wonderful husband I have! I am so lucky to have you!" I was using as much sarcasm as humanly possible.

"Bell...err… let me explain… I wasn't with any whores. I was alone in a parking lot drinking."

"Oh and that sounds so much better Edward! Thank you so much for not cheating on me and just getting drunk and leaving me alone yet again! Thank you so much baby!"

He stumbled over to the bed. Got in a curled up in a ball crying. Edward was actually crying. I don't even know what to say to him. I've never seen or heard him cry.

"Edward, why are you crying?"

"Because I am a huge fuck up Bella. I have the greatest woman in the world and she'd rather be with another man than with me. The worst part is, it's entirely fault… I hate myself…" He continued to sob.

I felt compelled to comfort him, even though he had been a terrible husband, I still loved him and it pained me to see him this way.

"Edward, I love you not Jasper. You're my husband, and I would love to spend time with you, the real you." I kissed his shoulder as he sobbed into my side.

"Bella, I don't deserve you. If you want a divorce I will hate it but I'll let you go. You deserve better than me… So much better baby…"

"Edward, I don't want to hear that. You and I will get through this. It's not going to be easy, but our love will stand the tests of time. "

"Don't leave me Bella… I couldn't live without you… I love you so much."

"I'm not going anywhere Edward, I promise."

He looked up into my eyes and I could see how ashamed of himself he was.

"Bella, can I kiss you?"

I smiled, not sure if this was the right thing to do. I allowed him to kiss me. Our lips met and I felt whole again. He molded his mouth to mine, kissing me slow and passionately. I pulled away before it got too serious.

"Edward, you stink. Go take a shower!" I giggled.

"Come with me?" He pleaded.

"I've already showered Edward, you can manage it alone."

"I'm not asking for sex, I just want to be close to you, intimately."

I wanted it so badly, the sex and the intimacy, but I knew I had to keep sex out of the equation. I could allow a little intimacy, I mean I haven't been touched in God knows how long. So I agreed.

We walked into the bathroom, and he undressed me. He looked over my body like it was a piece of art. I undressed him and couldn't help but stare. He was so beautiful. His body was perfect, absolutely perfect. We got into the shower and melted into each others arms. He held me and I held him.

"I've missed you Bella… I've missed your scent so much." He kissed my shoulders all over.

"Edward, you have no idea how lonely I have been…" I looked into his eyes.

"You don't have to be lonely anymore, I'm here, always."

I smiled at him, praying to God that he meant that. We stood in each others arms for what felt like hours. I kissed him and took my leave.

I crawled back into bed after getting dressed, Edward stood there not sure what to do.

"Well, Bella… I'll be in the guest room if you need me…" He started to leave. As pathetic as it sounds I didn't want him to leave me. I was sick of being without Edward and now that we were working things out I needed him near me.

"Edward… please don't go…"

"Are you sure Bella, I don't want to make you uncomfortable in anyway."

"You're my husband; I want to share my bed with you. There's nothing uncomfortable about that."

He smiled, and I smiled as well.

He crawled in next to me, but kept his distance, so I scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and we laid there staring into one another's eyes.

"I love you so much Bella, I love you so much…" He kept whispering that into my ear.

"I love you too Edward, more than my own life…"

He leaned in to kiss me, looking into my eyes as if he were asking a silent "Is this okay?" He knew it was and we began to kiss. We kissed for at least an hour, before I declared how tired I was. I really wasn't but he had a very obvious issue in his pants. So I rolled over and drifted into dreams.

I knew that I had gone too far with him today, and I didn't want him to think he was forgiven because he wasn't even close. I loved the idea of MY Edward. I don't know if I know who this Edward is. I want to get MY Edward back. Hopefully I could get him to come back to me…