AN: Stephanie Meyer owns everything twilight. I can't even claim Gage or the fabulous Barbie line.

I am interested in hearing your opinions on Bella after this chapter. I am trying to balance a more self assured person with some of her self doubting traits, and I hope it worked. I also would like to hear what are your thoughts on Mike… he is turning out to be quite the creep, huh?

Thank You to all of my loyal reviewers and to those who reviewed for the first time, I really appreciate it!

Jagga-Love, thanks for being the most awesome beta ever!

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BPOV

Waking up to another day of sorrow was not easy. There were no tears left, not even anger. The only thing left was my own annoyance at the fact that I was still thinking of him.

I made a decision the night before to stop thinking about him, however once again I woke up early in the morning with a pain in my chest and the difficulty to breathe that announced a panic attack. What the hell was wrong with me?

I realized that I had been holding on to the hope that someday I would be reunited with Edward. It was the only thing that kept me moving every day. How absurd! Living my life for someone who I did not even know was beyond pathetic. At this moment I truly hated myself.

Edward…

The famous Dr. Cullen.

Angela's mentor.

Alice and Emmet's reclusive brother.

The man who woke up a sense of need in my body.

Tanya's fiancée.

The one who would never wanted me the way I wanted him. My angel. I needed to bury these feelings. I needed to dig a big hole and drop every thought and sensation that Edward ever gave me and cover it with a thousand miles of dirt. It was over before it even started.

With new resolve, I got up and made my way into my bathroom. It was time to get ready for work, and I had a sense of urgency today. I wanted to drown myself in work and make myself so busy I did not have a single thought of my own. I needed to find something else to fill the void in my heart.

I also decided the night before that I would move on. I would keep looking for love somewhere else, and I would forget him. Was it possible to forget? Perhaps not, but I would try my hardest. It was decided, and there was no going back. I would go on with my life as if Edward never existed.

I had another shell to shed. I was becoming someone else. I was not sure if love would touch me again, but I understood now that I was worth something, and that I was going to reach out for what was out there for me.

Gage… how quickly had I forgotten about our date. I was suddenly excited about seeing him again on Wednesday. He had been so sweet to me, and there was definitely potential there.

I needed to have someone in my life. I was so tired of coming home alone. I was tired of not having someone to hold me tight when things were going bad, or to kiss me fiercely when I was having a good time. I needed a confidante, a lover, a friend, someone who would complete me, someone to keep me warm at night, and someone who would not allow me to take myself too seriously.

I needed love.

----

As soon as I got off the elevator at our office's floor, I headed for my office. Something told me that Alice would still try to say something about her brother, and for me that conversation was over. I did not want to talk about him. I feared that if I allowed myself to talk about him with the people that knew him, I would find out that I was such a delusional loser, that all the feelings were just in my head. I was afraid of finding out how truly happy he was. I did not need to hear any of that. I would save everyone the pity and just not have any conversations involving Edward. It was best this way for everyone.

Alice never came into my office that morning. I knew she was busy because it was Monday, but I also knew that she was avoiding me for her own good. I knew how hard it was for her to keep her thoughts to herself, and by avoiding me she was being a good friend.

I was about to head out for lunch when someone knocked on my door. "Come in," I said as Alice entered my office.

"Hi Bella… is it ok for me to call you Bella?" she asked, looking a bit nervous.

"Yes, of course. I have no problems with anyone calling me Bella. What's going on?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to join me for lunch. I promise not to bring up any undesired topics of conversation," she stated as she crossed her heart.

"Thanks Alice, I really appreciate that. I would love to join you for lunch. Do you have any place in mind?"

"I was thinking Panera Bread would be good. Soup is always good for when I am feeling blue." She said, a sad look crossing her delicate features.

"Are you alright?" I asked. I was worried that I may have been too self absorbed this morning. What if she had needed me? Did she fight with Jasper?

"I am fine, just sad. I promised you not to talk about it, so that is all I can say. I am sorry," she stated, the sad look on her face, breaking my heart. But I could not give in. It was best not to talk about it. It would be all better soon.

----

Lunch was a bit awkward. I could see the hard look of concentration on Alice's face as she tried not to betray my trust. I was also in my own world, fighting with myself, trying unsuccessfully not to think about what happened on Saturday.

"Listen Bella," Alice said as we were leaving the restaurant. "I am trying my hardest to keep up with this absurd promise Emmett and Rose made for all of us, but I have to tell you one thing. If that sad look has not been at least partially erased from your face by Friday, I am going to lock you in the copy room and tell you all I know. So you better find a way to be happy and stop breaking my heart this way. I can only take so much."

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Why was this so hard for her? What did she have to tell me that would make me happier? I was very confused.

"I am sure I will feel a lot better after my date with Gage," I said.

"If that is what you really want, I wish you the best," she said, the disappointed look back in her face.

"Why did you introduce me to Gage if you did not want me to date him?" I blurted out. "Are you saving him for someone else? Am I not worthy of him? What's going on Alice?"

"Is nothing like that Bella, I was just hoping for something else," she said, the sad look back in her face.

"I don't know what you were hoping for. He is engaged, no? What could he possibly want with me?" I told her before I realized that I had opened the door for the conversation I was trying to avoid.

"Are you going to talk about it now? Because you are so wrong about everything and I wish you would stop being so darn stubborn," she said as anger replaced the sadness.

"I don't want to talk about him, it hurts," I said sheepishly.

"It hurts because you have all these stupid ideas in your head. It hurts because you are not giving us the chance to explain. It hurts because you are too stubborn for your own good," she yelled.

"Explain it then. What could I have possibly missed?"

"You missed the fact that by brother had been moping around thinking of you for more than a year, angry at himself for not going after you the day you two met. You also missed that the connection that you both felt that day was real, he thinks of you as his soul mate, and you have told me that you think of him as yours," she continued.

"So why did he get engaged? Why couldn't he just wait a little longer?" I asked her, tears running down my face.

"He is not engaged! That Tanya bitch made that up. Yes they dated, but he is not in love with her. He is trying to leave her, but he can't at the moment," she told me as she approached me at put her arms around me, hugging me.

"What do you mean he can't leave her?" I sobbed.

"She is dying. He found out recently, and he is afraid of causing her any more pain," she told me as she looked at my face and pulled a tissue, cleaning the tears from my face.

"She is dying?"

"Yes, she only has one or two years to live and…" she was saying before I interrupted her.

"Why did you tell me Alice? This is worse than thinking we never connected. He is right, he should stay with her, make her happy. I need to forget about him," I told her, a new surge of determination filling me. I was not going to get in between him and poor Tanya. She deserved to be loved.

"You and Edward are the most stubborn people that I have ever met. She is dying, so what? People die every day. Edward is not in love with her, and it's not fair that she is trying to tie him up so that she does not die alone. You two should be together. But no, instead of being happy, you both are upset because you insist on making your relationship an impossible one. Why can't you people fight for your love?" she told me, her face red in anger.

"Love? Alice, I have no idea if there is any love. Yes, we had an awesome connection. Yes, I referred to him as my soul made, but who knows what would have happened? The thing is I can't be in the way of him and Tanya. I won't get in the way, she deserves to have someone."

"For crying out loud, can you stop self sacrificing? For all we know she is lying so that he can marry her. It is no secret that we are wealthy, that Edward works because it's his passion, not because he needs the money. Tanya is a gold digging whore, and I am going to get to the bottom of this," she said as I waved my hands interrupting her.

"I don't think she could have lied about that, Alice. He is a doctor, he would know if she was lying. I don't want to discuss this anymore. He needs to stay with her and support her, and I need to move on." I told her.

"Bella, please listen to me…"

"No Alice, I already made my decision. I am going to give me and Gage a chance. Could you support us on that?" I asked, hoping that she would let it rest.

"Fine, if you want to be with Gage, I will do my best to be happy for you both. However, be very careful not to break his heart. He's an awesome person and he does not deserve to be someone's rebound. I am giving up with you and Edward since you both insist on being unhappy. Good luck." And with that, she turned to her office.

----

We did not speak again that day, and not at all on Tuesday. I was starting to worry that I had pushed her away. I needed to talk to her soon. I headed to her office, hoping that I was wrong. Alice had become a great friend, and I did not want her pushed away.

"Hi Alice," I greeted her as I stood at her open door.

"Hi Bella!" she greeted me enthusiastically. This was a good sign, I must have been wrong.

"I'm sorry I have not talked to you since Monday. I have been very busy with the White House Aid event that the paper is going to be covering this weekend. How are you?" she asked me as I was filled with relief.

"I'm good. Today is my date with Gage and I am really looking forward to it. He called me last night and we spoke for a few hours, he really is a sweet guy," I told her hoping that she had meant it when she said she would support me on going out with Gage.

"That's great, I hope you guys have fun tonight," she said a little too enthusiastically. Something was not right, but I decided not to push it. "What do you have planned?"

"I actually have no clue," I told her. "Gage is keeping mum about the details. He is picking me up here, and then he is taking me out to dinner, but I have no clue where."

"I want to know all the details tomorrow, have fun!"

"Thanks Alice, I will see you tomorrow!" I told her as I retreated from her office.

----

My date with Gage was great. He took me to a little Thai restaurant called Sweet Thai Basil, and then we spent the rest of the evening walking around Bethesda. It was late August, and tonight was not as humid or as hot as it normally would be this time of the year. It was a perfect night to walk around.

"So have you had many girlfriends," I asked as we strolled pass Austin Grill walking towards the fountain in front of Borders.

"Not really. I dated a girl named Kayleigh for a few years back in Seattle, but we broke up shortly after I moved to DC. She was a sweet girl, but the distance proved to be too much. How about you?" he asked.

"I have only dated one guy. His name was Mike, and he was an ass." I told him how Mike and I met, how we started our relationship, and what happened the day of our wedding. I was careful to avoid any mention of Edward. Edward and Gage knew each other since he went to school with Alice and Emmet, and I did not want to bring up anything that had happened just in case they were still in touch.

"That Mike is a real scumbag. I am so sorry you had to go through something like that Bella. You are such a nice girl, you did not deserve any of that," he told me as he put his arm around my shoulders. It felt nice to be so close to him. It made me feel safe and comfortable. Gage was a great guy.

"Thanks, Gage. I'm over it now, and I feel like I am ready to move forward and to open myself up for love again," I told him, hoping he did not think I was being too forward.

"I am glad to hear that because I feel the same way. I was also wondering if you were interested in giving us a chance?" he asked as he gave me a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Yes, I do. I can't promise you that this will move fast or that I would want to be your girlfriend officially any time soon, but I kind of like you Gage," I told him as I blushed. I was being unusually forward tonight, but Gage made me feel so at ease.

"I kind of like you too Bella," he said as he softly grabbed my shoulders, moving me closer to him and gave me soft kiss on the lips. He lingered a little bit before moving away so that he could look at me and smile.

"Your lips are so soft Bella," he whispered in my ear.

"Thanks," I said, not sure of what else to tell him. The kiss was nice, once again, just perfect. I wasn't ready for anything more.

After sitting by the fountain for a little while, we went to get some coffee. We spent a few hours at our new favorite coffee hang out, Cosi, talking about everything from the elections to life in DC. Gage was going to be a great friend, I was really happy to have met him.

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MPOV

I was staring at Bella with disbelief. Who was the asshole talking to her? I was going to have to accelerate my plans. Bella needed to understand that she was mine and mine only. She was not allowed to date anyone. No one should be touching her, much less be kissing her.

I dialed the all too familiar number. "I need you in DC now," I said, quickly hanging up the phone. It was time to claim what was mine, let the hunting games begin!

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EPOV

I had finally made my decision. As much as I wanted to be there for Tanya, she was no one to me, and she was definitely not the one. Yes we dated, but there were only a couple of dates, and I had no feelings for her. I could not stop my life for her.

I finished the last sentence on my resignation letter and I printed it. I was going to deliver it to the head of neurosurgery tomorrow. I knew that it would be a couple of months before I was actually able to leave, but that gave me enough time to sell my apartment and to sort things out with Tanya.

Alice had mentioned that Bella was dating someone. I guess I had lost my chance. I was not sure if I was going to try and talk to her again, I really did not want to intrude in her life. Apparently she did not want to intrude in mine either, as she told Alice that my place was next to Tanya. Perhaps our connection was not as strong as I thought it was, perhaps it was best for me to let her be happy with someone else. Deep inside I knew that she was too good for me. I did not deserve Bella.

After I finished with my letter, I changed into some shorts and a wife beater, my favorite workout outfit, and I headed out for a run. The warm air would help me clear my head and come up with the best way to tell Tanya that I was moving away.

Everything was already in order in DC. My father had obtained a big office location in hopes that I would join him as well as some other colleagues of his that specialized in Neurology. His plan was to create a Neurology center to treat everyone from babies to senior citizens. He could not contain his excitement as I told him that I was going to leave Baltimore and join him.

My mother was just as excited. She was the director of the Alliance against Alzheimer's and Parkinson Disease, and she wanted me to help her establish another foundation that dealt directly with children. I was excited too, I loved working with children, and this would give me an opportunity to reach out to those who were less fortunate.

I was almost home and I was nervous. I ran five miles, all the while procrastinating on my upcoming conversation with Tanya. I had asked her out for dinner tonight. I wanted to talk to her in a neutral place just in case she went bananas.

Angela had been trying to get any info on Tanya's treatment but she was unable to find anything. It seemed as if Dr. Cassidy had been the only person to ever see her or treat her. That was certainly strange. The radiation therapy was given by a specialized team, not the doctor, so I was unsure of what was really going on. Tanya refused to discuss anything else about her disease, telling me that she did not want my pity, and that learning more about it would only cause that.

Something told me that she was not being truthful, and I needed to get to the bottom of this.

I took a nice long shower in a failed attempt to soothe my tense muscles. It was unbelievable how quickly this whole Tanya thing had turned into a nightmare. I was getting ready for my dinner with Tanya, when my cell phone rang, it was Angela.

"Hey Ang! How is it going?" I asked her.

"Hi Edward, do you have a minute?" she asked

"Yes, of course, what's going on?"

"Dr. Cassidy would like to have a word with you here at the hospital," she said.

"Right now? Can this wait until tomorrow?" I asked her, a little irritated about the timing.

"No Edward, trust me, you want to listen to what he has to say before you talk to Tanya. This is very important." She told me, a grave tone on her voice.

"Alright, I will call Tanya and re-schedule for this weekend. I will see you in about fifteen minutes."

I hung up the call with Angela and I quickly called Tanya. I did not like to lie, but I didn't want her to know that Dr. Cassidy and I were going to talk, so I told her that one of my patients was back in the ER and that I needed to head in. We made plans to have our dinner on Friday, before my night shift at the hospital.

----

I made it to the hospital just under fifteen minutes and I was met by Angela at the side entrance. "Hi Edward," she waved.

"Hey you! How are you doing?" I asked

"I am doing good, still a little sad that you are leaving us, but I know you're doing the right thing.

"So where is Dr. Cassidy?" I asked.

"He is waiting for you at his office. Please listen to all he has to say before you get mad. I know you, and I just want you to hear him out. I will be waiting at the resident's oncology launch when you are done," she said as she walked away.

I quickly made my way to Dr. Cassidy's office and I knocked on his door.

"Come in," he said.

I made my way inside his office and I sat on a chair by his desk, facing him. "You wanted to see me?" I asked.

"Yes. We need to talk about Tanya," he said. He looked extremely nervous and was making me really annoyed with his constant fidgeting.

"I'm all ears," I said, wondering why he was so worked up. Was she worse?

"Tanya is not dying, she never was," he said as he stood up from his chair and started to pace around the office.

"What do you mean she's not dying? I saw all the results and all of your reports…," I was yelling at him as he interrupted me.

"They are all false Edward. Please let me explain," he said sheepishly.

"Go ahead then…"

"I had an affair with Tanya a few years ago. I broke it off after she started to take it too seriously and threatened me with telling my wife. I was so afraid she would tell Vicki that I had been helping her out with things around the hospital," he continued.

"What things?" I asked not able to mask my disgust

"I helped her get her job. I have helped her in getting rid of her competition for promotions, and things like that. Then she called me one day telling me that she needed to fake that she had cancer and was dying. At first I told her no, I had helped her with many things, but I did not want to risk losing my license, but she started threatening me with telling Vicki about our affair, once again." He took a sip from what I guessed was a glass of water.

"I had no idea why she was doing this. I had learned that with Tanya, less is better, but then I saw you together at the gala, and I saw her faint, and I knew she was lying to you. I was not sure what to do, and then Dr. Webber came to my office and started asking me all sorts of questions about Tanya's condition, not satisfied with any of my answers, she kept questioning me until I admitted to her that it was all a lie. She then proceeded to threaten me that if I did not tell the truth she would, and that it would be worse for me. She should have been an FBI interrogator instead of a doctor, she can be quite scary when she starts shooting those rapid fire questions," he stated as he sat back down on his chair.

"As you can see I am now in your hands. I have no idea what is going to happen to me. What if Vicki finds out?" he murmured, looking truly ashamed.

"What am I not supposed to find out Dave?" I heard Victoria ask. Neither one of us had noticed that she had entered his office.

I stood up, not wanting to be part of the fight that was bubbling up. "Look, Dr. Cassidy, thanks for being honest. I will not take any steps for you to lose your license, yet, but I think is best if you tell your wife everything. I will handle Tanya," and with that, I left.

"What the hell is going on Dave?" I heard Victoria scream as I shut the door.

I made my way to the resident's lounge but Angela was not there. I decided to wait for her as I was sure she wanted to know if Dr. Cassidy told me everything.

I was so angry. Tanya was such a bitch. I never wanted to see her fake ass again. She did not deserve a single second of my time. I called the locksmith and had all the locks of my apartment changed. Then I called Alice and I told her everything. She wanted to go tell Bella right away but I made her promise that she would not say a thing to her.

I was not sure if I wanted to intrude in her life. She seemed happy with the person she was dating, and I felt unworthy of her. I had ruined everything by dating Tanya. What a nightmare.

An hour later Angela came into the lounge and asked me how it went. I told her everything and she started giggling when I told him about Victoria busting in on us. "What about Bella? Are you going to tell her how you feel now?" she asked.

"I don't know Angela. Bella is dating someone and I don't want to get in the way."

"Don't be ridiculous Edward, you need to get her, stop analyzing everything so much," she told me with an exasperated tone.

"I am going to finish my time in Baltimore first, and then in a couple of months, when I move to DC, I will go find her. I will ask her if she is happy, and if she is, then I will leave her alone." I told Angela. I really hoped she would be alone, but I instantly felt guilty for thinking that way. Bella deserved to be happy, with or without me.

----

"Eddie, where have you been hiding?" I heard Tanya ask. It looked as if she had been waiting for me outside of my apartment, who knows for how long.

"What do you want Tanya," I asked, not caring if I sounded rude.

"Eddie, what's going on? You stood me up on Saturday, never answered my calls, and I came today to find out that the locks on your doors were changed. I can only guess that you can't handle being with someone who is dying and you are trying to wash your hands of me," she told me as she started to sob.

"You are such a fucking lying bitch," I yelled, startling her. "I know about your little charade Tanya, I know that you're not dying."

"How could you say that? You saw all my tests and reports," she said in a panicked voice. I could tell that she was freaking out. She had no idea that I knew the truth.

"Stop acting, I spoke with Dr. Cassidy, he told me everything, including the blackmailing that you have been subjecting him to for the past years." I yelled.

"I… Eddie, I can explain… I," she stuttered.

"I hate that stupid nickname, my name is Edward. Now get the hell out of here before I decide to call the police and tell them about your little scam. You are a piece of dirt, and I never want to see your sorry ass again. Pathetic bitch!" I was aware of how rude I was being, I had certainly not been raised that way, but she deserved that and worse.

"Fine, I was getting bored with your sorry ass anyways," Tanya yelled as she turned around.

"One more thing Tanya, if I were you, I would stay the hell away from Dr. Cassidy. Rumor has it that Victoria can't wait to tell her daddy all about you and your antics. She forgave Dr. Cassidy, but she is so not forgiving you. Last time I checked, she was working on getting you fired. So I would just move to bunfuck nowhere if I was you."

"Fuck you Edward!" she screamed as she made her way to her car.

I was hit by a wave of relief as she sped away. I had no idea how tense the entire situation had made me. I was glad it was over.

Two more months here and then I will see my angel… Bella! Would she still want me?

AN: I know that Alice came across a little too OOC on this chapter, but her character is ust having a real hard time keeping at bay when two people she loves dearly are being so stubborn with their decisions. I will have her back to her usual bubbly self as soon as things calm down a bit. Yes, the story is going to get fluffy soon, but it won't last, so brace yourselves.