Two
A few moments after Meyers went back into the mess hall, Simmons appears in the doorway, and she could have sworn that he was deliberately taking his time to get out. She forces herself not to comment on it. As he spots her, there's a barely concealed sleazy grin on his face, and she already hates the sight of it, because for some reason… it just doesn't suit him. Like he wants to impersonate someone he isn't. "Well… you want to take me somewhere more "private"?"
Stay calm, stay professional, she forcefully reminds herself. "Come along, Lieutenant."
She leads him to a balcony only a few feet away from the mess hall. In moments like these she wishes she had an office. Her lab and her quarters are both out of question, because the first one is too crowded and the second one to secluded, so she chose the only other option. When they are out in the open, she speaks up again. "Lieutenant… do you have anything to say about what just happened in the mess hall?"
He snorts. "I gave you a piece of my mind?"
Well… this is obviously not going to be easy. "That's one way to put it. Another would be voicing unjustified accusations about an officer that outranks you, insolence and trying to destroy the integrity of your team."
For a moment, it looks like he's starting to doubt his actions, but then he's probably decided that he's already in way too deep and that his only option is continuing his course. "There is no integrity in my team. There's just a CO who's being not exactly a role model and three other soldiers not being lead a bit." He simply doesn't get it.
"No, there's one Lieutenant who doesn't want to be lead. What's your problem, Simmons? God, you've got one of the best team leaders we have here and…"
"What's my problem? What's my problem? That guy who's supposed to be "one of the best team leaders" is my problem. I don't see any of his so called qualities. I just see him parading around, like he owns the goddamn planet and…" Gah. She's had it now.
Now all intent of staying professional, even sympathetic, with the guy is gone. She explodes. "Okay… that's it. I really tried to be nice, objective, sensible… I really thought I could talk to you on the basis of mutual understanding, from not-so-long Captain to Lieutenant, if you like, but you know what? I've had it. You don't know shit about the people you've been spouting nonsense about."
Simmons wants to say something, but dammit, she's the senior officer here, and like hell she's going to let him get dirty again. "People here don't respect them out of nothing. Evan Lorne and John Sheppard are two of the best officers the USAF have to offer, and that's saying a lot coming from a jarhead like me. Teyla Emmagan is the best thing that could have happened to us in this galaxy. Carson Beckett is one of the kindest men and best doctors I know. Jennifer Keller is a very intelligent, very capable young woman. Ronon Dex is one of the fiercest and most loyal warriors I know. And, as much as I hate to admit it, Rodney McKay is a genius that saved all our hides here more times than I have fingers on my hand. If you ever want to play in their league, you still have a long way to go."
"Look, Cadman…" How dare he!
"You will either address me with Captain or ma'am, Lieutenant." she frostily reminds him. It's the first time she ever has to pull rank like this, and the satisfaction in this case is immense.
And it shows immediate success. Simmons seems to get smaller, and when he answers her, his voice is sounding much more defensive than before. "Alright. Fine. Look, Captain Cadman… maybe Sheppard and Lorne are pretty good shooters, but face it: Discipline is running low here, Sergeants don't show proper respect to officers, there are inappropriate relationships of all kinds… it's only a question of time until everything falls to pieces here."
God, she thinks, how thick can one guy be? "Again: You don't know anything. This isn't boot camp here or the Academy. It's not even your run of the mill military base. It's a settlement, and people are living here. Day in, day out, facing threats on a daily basis they don't even know about at the Academy, working hard and having to cope with losses again and again. Forming relationships and cutting themselves slack sometimes are the only reasons things are not falling to pieces here."
The Lieutenant becomes agitated now. "Bullshit, ma'am. I saw my CO risk his life unnecessarily, nearly insult civilians that outrank him and fall apart right in front of my eyes. Just – because – of you. I don't see any reason to show him respect."
That idiot. Abandoning any thoughts of decorum now, she raises her voice as much as a female soldier can raise her voice without sounding ridiculous. "Don't you dare go start insulting your CO. That man has been defending your planet and your galaxy even before you got chosen for a spot at the Academy. That man would give his life for each and every one under his command. That man… that man suffers from every death that happens under his command. He feels responsible for everyone here, and he sacrifices nights, spare days and vacations to make everything here run smoothly. I have to compete with a whole city for his attention and he has to get over his deeply ingrained sense of duty to put the whole city behind him for me. Don't you think he deserves some moments of falling apart?"
Alright, she knows that she probably shouldn't have told Simmons this, but she thinks she's starting to get what his problem is. The kid is just plain confused. He's straight out of the Academy, still used to drill and training and even more drill. The overload of coming to Atlantis which never was that kind of military base the SGC was, probably just fried a few circuits in his head. "Certainly not on a mission."
She sighs. "You just don't get it, do you?"
"No. No, I don't. I don't get it why no one thinks it's suspicious that you start sleeping with your CO and after just a few months…" Hey! Being confused is still no excuse for accusing her of whoring her way up the career ladder.
"Don't even think of going there, for your own fucking safety. One more word in that direction and I'll officially put you on up charges. Honestly, I have no idea how Evan can still put up with you. Consider yourself very, very lucky that he's your CO. God, you don't even deserve whatever goodwill he must still be harboring for you." Now the expression on the Lieutenant's face almost resembles a pout, which just serves to support her theory about having a confused frightened little boy in the body of an SF soldier in front of her.
"Maybe I don't want his goodwill." She snorts.
"Oh yes, you do. Or at least you should. Because in case you haven't noticed yet: He's the one who can make your life a living hell or give your career a boost that should last you for at least the next ten years, all depending on how you conduct yourself. Lieutenant, just to make this clear to you: If anything of what you're spreading around about Evan actually gets to him without being filtered, you're done for. He's a very, very patient and tolerant man, but the one thing he doesn't tolerate is people not showing other people the respect they deserve. I'm trying to save your fucking ass here."
"I don't need this kind of doubletalk to…" God, why do strapping young officers always seems to think everyone is trying to imply they have no honor? And honestly, the way this strapping young officer behaved the last couple of weeks, really implying he has no honor would be just what he deserves. Why does she do this anyway?
Maybe… maybe because she starts to see something of herself in that guy. There'd been a time when even she hadn't been half as confident about what she could do and where she had felt the burning desire and the nearly oppressive need to prove the world and herself she could survive boot camp. Taking a deep breath, she tries to lower her voice again. "Lieutenant, I'm not joking. If anything of this gets to him – for example when he catches you in the act – you can say goodbye to your Wings and your Lieutenant's bars, and that only if you are lucky."
Again, Simmons wants to interrupt her, but dammit, she didn't get those Captain's bars for nothing. "Don't delude yourself: Evan already knows you have next to no respect for him. The only reasons he hasn't acted on it yet are that he believes in second chances and that your combat performance is spotless. But the moment he somehow learns exactly how you think not only about him but about his CO and me and people he has the highest respect for here, your combat performance won't matter anything to him. Be honest with yourself: Is it really worth it? Risking your career because you're too thickheaded to look behind your youthful prejudices?"
That gets him to shut up. For a prolonged amount of time. In fact, it shuts him up for so long that she's starting to get worried. When he finally decides to speak up again, he needs several attempts to say something aloud. "You… you've got point there, ma'am."
Finally some reason. Whatever it was that got her point through this thick skull, she's thanking God and all the other Entities out there for it. "'Course I have. Now… you still think you know everything about Evan Lorne?"
And now even a blush is creeping on the Lieutenant's cheeks, and it's suiting him much more than the sleazy grin from before, because it makes him appear as young as he really is. "Maybe… I was wrong concerning a few points."
She can't help looking little smug now. "You know, it's not too late to turn back from the Dark Side."
"You mean I can still be saved from becoming Darth Joe?" Sheepishly, he rubs his neck, but for just a short moment there's a typical flyboy grin showing through. Yeah, well, she thinks, let's see how long your strong dislike of what Evan and I'm doing holds up when the first nurses are starting to notice the grin… and you.
But she doesn't say it, only folds her arms in front of her chest and tries to stay matter of fact. "What I mean is that you can still save yourself from becoming Darth Joe. All you have to do is stop being a conceited prick."
She half suspects some insolent answer or maybe a quip that's supposed to be charming, but to her surprise she simply gets: "Yes, ma'am."
A little unwilling, she nods. "Good answer, Lieutenant. And by the way: I'd advise you to be discreet about this little conversation. It's your ass that's at stake here."
Simmons simply nods, now obviously having finally seen what he was doing to himself and his career. And seeing that she just let him off the hook way easier than he deserves. "I understand, ma'am."
"I hope so. Because if you haven't, you'll find yourself in court-martial for insolence faster than you can spell "dishonorable discharge". I'm not joking." She really isn't. He's damn lucky that he has Evan as his CO, and he's also damn lucky that he reminds her of herself, back in the days when she couldn't tell top from bottom because not even being the daughter of a Marine and niece of another two could have prepared her for the harsh reality of Marine boot camp. If he's got any brain in that head of his, he knows very well that he doesn't deserve what she just did for him until he has proven himself.
"And I didn't think you were." Good for him. She nods.
"Obviously, they didn't fry all your brain cells at the Academy. And now get going. You're scheduled to leave in an hour. Dismissed." He throws her a very sharp salute and she's satisfied to see that it's a gesture of respect, not of mocking. When he's left the balcony, she turns to the ocean and leans on the railing. The only thing left now is trying to think up a way of explaining to Evan why she just chewed out his Lieutenant without him getting off on her for that.
--
A/N: The things political conventions are good for... some people do their taxes, some up-date their address books... and I implement my beta-reader's suggestions and get two chapters ready for uploading (and wrote the last installment to the "Defining Moments"-series, which is currently at mac's for beta-reading ;)). We'll just all conviniently forget about the fact that I was a delegatee and therefore supposed to pay attention and listen to speeches and all that stuff instead of writing and playing around with PhotoShop.
Oh, and... I have a confession to make... after Joe M.'s recent rather unfortunately phrased "revelations" about the rest of Season 5 I kind of... got hit by a little bout of writer's block. I really hope I'll get over it as fast as I can, but please don't get mad at me if I need a little longer for the next chapters of "Show the world" and "A little change". I will not forget about this stories, I promise, I just might need a little more time to write down what I still have in my head. Hope it's okay with all of you.
Oooooh, and before I forget it: Yes, I know that Simmons was coming around a little too fast at the end, but trust me, I know what I'm doing ;)