Disclaimer: I don't own LWD!

A/N: Hello everyone! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I'm now definitely writing at least 2 more chapters, I'm really having fun with this story. Please R&R to tell me how you liked this chapter!

These Feelings I Have

So now I'm sitting on my bed practically hyperventilating. You want to know why? Well, be warned it involves illegal feelings. Why do these things always happen to me? Why do I always fall for the wrong guy? But seriously, I can't be in love with my stepbrother, that's incest! Okay, I definitely need a paper bag to breathe into or I'm going to faint, throw up or start to cry!

As I search for my emergency supply of paper bags I hear loud music coming from Derek's room and that's the moment when it hits me: he and I are all alone at home!

I finally find a paper bag and breathe into it until I calm down a little. I can't help to chuckle sadly: even in my dreams Derek is an insufferable know-it-all. He is right, I'm not ready to acknowledge my feelings, in fact, I'm nowhere near it. Hell, I can't even get my heart to beat normally when thinking that nothing separates me from him than one wall. Of course that could also be caused by the, ugh, feelings I have for him rather than by my reluctance to acknowledge them… But wait a minute, it couldn't be that when…?

Okay, I need to get over the facts one more time: The first time I "spaced out" yesterday was when I went into the bathroom right after seeing Derek. I can remember smelling his shampoo in there and then it happened. The second time it happened was when he winked at me in class. And all the times after that it happened right after meeting or talking to him.

I slam my head against the headboard of my bed: how could I be so stupid not to remark the timing's of my spacing out?! Ugh, I'm so pathetic, how is it possible to be so blind and not…

Oh no. Derek has turned off the music. I can hear him opening his door and walking towards my room. He just stopped! In front of my room! No, no, no, noooo! This can't be happening; I can't meet him yet, let alone talk to him. He's opening my door, what am I going to do? I hurriedly wipe my eyes from the tears, he can't know about this, never ever shall he know what a sick person I am. Time to face him:

"Casey, I'm going over to Smelly Nellie's to eat lunch with Sam, tell dad and Nora. Bye."

Without letting me reply anything, let alone come up with an actual intelligent sentence he storms out of my room, down the stairs and out of the house. God, how ridiculous am I? It's not like he is telepathic and knows what I think about him. Ok, I really need help, someone needs to tell me what to do. I can't talk about this to my family, neither can Emily nor Sam…of course, Paul! As a counsellor he is bound to counsellor-patient confidentiality. I just need to get through this one day, which is rather just one night, and then he'll be able to tell me what to do! Finally a ray of hope in my otherwise pitch-dark hopeless…

I hear a car parking in front of the house. My family must have finished shopping. At least they'll keep me occupied with other things than Derek.

"Casey, Derek we're back!"

I get out of my room and down the stairs, answering: "Hi Mom! Derek went out to eat with Sam at Smelly Nellie's. How was shopping?"

"If you don't count Marti's constant complaint's about having enough clothes, Lizzie's reluctance to buy anything not being fair-trade and Edwin's conviction that if he buys undersized clothes he'll look taller, if you really can see past all those points plus George bickering about every choice I made about anything, then the trip was lovely."

I see Mom sigh deeply and let herself fall on the couch and let the shopping bags drop to the floor.

"Come on Nora, I wasn't that bad. Besides, why does Marti need pants as well as a skirt? And Edwin should have bought the tight black shirt, the kid needs all the help he needs showing off his muscles! And Lizzie could have worn her old karate clothes a while longer, they are only a little tight after all!"

"George we've been over this before! Lizzie can't train right if her clothes restrain her movements; Marti is growing so fast that I fear she'll need a whole new set of clothes by the end of this month and Edwin…

I let my Mom and George discuss alone and move over to where Lizzie and Edwin are unpacking their new clothes.

"Hey guys! You satisfied with your shopping?"

"Hardly! Mom and George wouldn't let me buy fair-trade clothes! They said they were too expensive, as if all the poor people who have to work day and night to produce clothes for all those popular stores…"

"Oh shut up Lizzie! You're only jealous because I got the better clothes. With these clothes I'll finally be known as Edwin: the coolest guy in school!"

"Yeah, keep dreaming. How was your day Casey?"

"Oh well, like always." Except that I found out I like our stepbrother.

"Okay, do you want to see my new clothes?"

"I'd love to."

Just then Marti jumped on my back and whined:

"But I want to show Casey my new clothes too!"

"It's okay Marti! Why don't we have a fashion show, you could join us too, Edwin."

"You have no chance against me, but I'll gladly show you what true beauty means!"

I tell my younger siblings to hurry up to their rooms and get prepared for our little competition. At least like that George and Nora will finally have a little peace and time to themselves while my mind will be occupied just like I wanted to.

"Thank you for taking care of your younger sisters and brother, Casey. I really don't know what I'd do without you!"

"No problem Mom, you and George should go to sleep, you've had an exhausting afternoon and I just had a nap, I'll take care of them and bring Marti to bed."

"Thanks Casey, sleep well."

"Yeah, have sweet dreams, darling."

Oh, please no. No more dreams.

"You too!"

After saying that, I left the living room and went to my room to make preparations for our little fashion show. Hmmm, what music should I pick?

Later…

"And the winner of the ultimate McDonald-Venturi fashion shows iiiiiis…Marti Venturi!"

Edwin and Lizzie grudgingly applauded Marti while she performed a victory dance on my bed. She was wearing her fairy-dress, in which she looked really cute.

In spite of my nap earlier in the evening, I'm exhausted now. Edwin, Lizzie and Marti had wanted to wear every piece of clothing in their wardrobes, calling me every time to inspect them. I'm surprised I didn't walk a hole in the floor.

"Okay guys, it's time to go to bed now. Come on Marti, I'll help you change."

"Ok, good-night Casey"

"Night 'Sis!"

"I don't wanna change, fairy princesses don't sleep in pyjamas they always wear their dress!"

"Yes, but they have magical dresses which don't get crinkled. Your dress will have crinkles everywhere if you wear it while sleeping. And isn't your pyjama much more comfortable?"

"Okay, I will put them on. But only if you tell me a story so I can sleep!"

"Fine, now hurry up!"

While Marti changed, I wondered which story I should tell her. Hmm, she already knew most fairytales by heart…oh, I have an idea!

Soon enough Marti lay in her bed waiting for me to begin telling my story.

"So, have you ever heard of Shrek?"

"The one from the movie? Mom and Dad let me see it but I can't really remember. I want to hear the story again!"

"Well, I'm now telling you his story. Shrek was an ugly green ogre. He lived in a messy swamp and wore dirty clothes. He enjoyed making fun of others and heard loud music in his house."

"Just like Derek!"

"Ohm well, a little. Anyway, where was I? There also existed a princess. She was trapped in a castle, in the highest tower. A dragon watched her day and night. The princess, named Fiona, was beautiful. She liked to sing and dance and she always dreamed of her "prince charming" who would one day come to save her."

"Just like you! Can we rename Shrek and Fiona "Derek and Casey"?

"What? But Marti! Derek and I are stepsiblings; it wouldn't work in the story!"

"You are my sister, but to Derek you have never been, why can't he be the Shrek to your princess Fiona?"

If I didn't know that Marti hadn't seen the movie for a long time I would think that she was tormenting me on purpose to make me admit that I like Derek. If only I knew how cunning Marti had become…

"Okay, we can name them as you like."

"Yeah! Will Derek and Casey marry at the end?"

I wish I knew… I sighed deeply and prepared myself for a long night.

Later…

"…and Derek and Casey lived happily ever after in the swamp, accompanied by their loyal donkey Edwin, the dragon Lizzie and pussycat Marti."

I look up to Marti and see that she fell asleep sometime while I was telling her the "McDonald-Venturi"-version of Shrek.

I decided to lay a while at her side and enjoy the feeling "Derek" and "Casey's" marriage had given me.

I don't know how long I have been dozing on Marti's bed when I suddenly heard footsteps outside her door. Derek must have come back! I really don't want to confront him now!

Oh no, he's coming in to say good-night to Marti, what should I do? Ok, calm down, I'll just pretend that I'm asleep as well, hopefully he won't see right through it.

With my eyes closed I can only hear him. He opens the door and walks towards the bed only to stop on his tracks. He must have seen me now. Ok, this is no time to be nervous; I need to lay as still as possible. I hear him coming towards the bed and whisper good-night to Marti.

But instead of leaving, he stays where he is. What is he waiting for? If I could only open my eyes!

Suddenly I feel his breath on my right cheek. What is he doing? I hear him whisper something. Something that sounds dangerously like:

"Sleep well, Casey."

Okay, I really need to stop hallucinating. Wait, what is happening? What…?

I feel something soft on my lips. A marshmallow? No, it wouldn't taste of pizza and coke. Wait, the only one who ate pizza for dinner was…

Oh.My.God. He kissed me! Derek just kissed me! On the lips! With his lips!

I fight hard against my instinct to immediately open my eyes. Instead I wait until he leaves the room. I put my fingers on my lips which are burning as if a fire had been ignited within them. I can still feel his lips on mine .By now my eyes are wide open in shock and my brain is slowly trying to process it. And though I know exactly what happened all I can think of is:

What just happened?

A/N: So how did you like it? The next chapter will be about Casey's counselling visit with Paul, poor guy…

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