I turned lifeless after that. Lifeless. For a vampire.

How ironic.

I could barely feed myself. I sometimes found an animal in a forest I spent the night in. I'd lost my appetite for humans. I would endure the pain. It was fair. It was a good thing. It was like payback for my mistake. I didn't bother to track her. The rain had washed her scent away. There was nowhere to look. I'd given up, it was just meaningless. If it meant Alice was better off without me, then I would endure it.

But deep down…what if she missed me too? The thought came occasionally, stabbing me in the chest. Every time I wasn't occupied- which turned out to be often- I would see her face, shattered with anger and grief. Had I been able to dream, I would only have nightmares. I walked and walked for days at a time, not stopping to look at anything. I wasn't sure which direction I was going in, all I did was try and stay away from humans. Though I'd given up on myself and finding Alice, I did land on something.

The first house.

Where I'd first met Alice. It was even more broken than before. The roof wasn't there anymore. I didn't bother to enter, the pain slashing my heart and my stomach was too much to handle. I ran away, like a coward.

I stopped counting the days, too, after a while.

I started guessing on where I'd landed. I figured I must have been in Mississippi or something.

Maybe I would go back to Maria. What did I have to lose, after all?

I could ask her to kill me.

The idea didn't bother me at all. It was blank, like I was deciding on what to wear.

To be or not to be. I pondered.

I camped in the woods at night. Even when it rained, I stayed outside. I couldn't feel much. The emptiness was numbing me of everything.

I sighed often too. I didn't realize that until I got so bored I started to count how many times I did something per day.

I blinked thousands of times- a pure reflex.

I inhaled and exhaled when I wanted- just an occupation.

But the sighing or the moping…I'd probably beaten records.

It was a strange feeling, without her. Like the world wasn't turning. Like all energy and will had left my body.

I believe I'd also encountered a vampire on my random path.

I hadn't stopped to consider hope- the creature had red hair.

I even tried sleeping a few times.

It almost worked, too. I figured boredom could do that. Only problem was that I would only see her when I closed my eyes. I groaned in anger often.

I hated myself.

Worse, actually. I ignored myself.

I was meaningless. I tried staying away from towns, but it was a bit difficult at times. I was still curious about some things, and I needed occupation. I stole books on mathematics, science, law, art, anything at all really. I wanted to keep my mind off her. That's how I learned it was December after looking at a newspaper I'd stolen.

Eight months since our fight. A whole year since I'd met Alice. Strangely enough, it felt like a shorter time. Time without Alice was insignificant. It passed quickly.

In the end, I decided to move around a bit before I let myself go completely blank.

I wanted to look for her, but where to start? I wished I'd had a more useful talent, like being able to find people. That would have been nice. I didn't want to give up. It was more like I was too tired to do it, like there was nothing to drive me on.

I walked around the forest I'd decided to set my 'home' in, trying to find food. The place was familiar now. Tall trees surrounded me, like shelter. The animals weren't too keen of me, and kept the peace around me. I started whistling.

And found myself surrounded by birds within moments.

Oh dear…

I was becoming a fairy tale princess.

Moping around until a miracle happened.

But my miracle had already arrived. And I'd let it go for my own selfishness.

I turned suddenly when I heard shuffling behind me. A beautiful fawn stood ahead of me, staring at me.

Ah. I thought. Meal time.

I walked slowly, too lazy to accelerate. The deer couldn't hear any noise coming from the leaves, and therefore stayed put. I reached for its neck.

And abruptly smelt a very different perfume. I froze, and gasped. Widening my eyes, I inhaled again.

Was I dreaming?

The smell was still there. My heart engulfed itself with joy.

Again and again, I breathed in deeply, laughing as I recognized the childlike perfume.

Roses, peaches, strawberries, apples and orange blossom.

Nothing could compare to it, not even human blood.

Ignoring the deer completely, I dashed towards the smell, smiling widely and cheering.

Alice.

I ran as fast as I possibly could, and I knew I was well past my usual speed. It wasn't a pure want that drove me on.

It was a cry of joy coming from every cell of my body. She was here. She was close. And I was going to find her.

I didn't care what she'd say, how she'd react. Right now, the plain fact that she was here was all I needed. As the fragrance got closer, I accelerated.

I wasn't going to let her leave this time. I couldn't! I raced and raced until I couldn't finally see a small shape in the distance. Even from here, I knew it was her. Her short pink dress was blowing in the wind. I could see her hair was curlier than usual. She was walking calmly, apparently completely oblivious to my insane pursuit towards her.

Oh, what the hell did I care?! I opened my arms wide, and resisted the urge to laugh.

I wanted to take her by surprised.

After what seemed to be an eternity, I finally reached her.

I grasped her into a tight embrace, spinning her around so she'd be able to see me. Her face was completely blank, too surprised to really think.

And then I laughed. I almost hit hysterics, I think. I hugged and hugged her, inhaling her sweet perfume as I dropped my face to her hair.

I picked her up with one arm and held my other hand tightly on the back of her hair. Her face was next to mine now. Her eyes were wide with astonishment and shock, and her mouth opened in a silent oh.

I laughed harder at her bewildered expression.

"Oh, I love you! I love you! I love you! I. Love. You!" I shouted, spinning around with her in my arms.

And finally, I pressed my lips to hers urgently, not wanting to wait any longer. I felt her small hands hesitate a bit around my face, and then planting themselves in my blond locks as she joined in the embrace passionately. It was like an orchestra had decided to play inside me. I felt electric currents rip through my muscles and my bones. My heart was dancing around in my ribcage. I felt like I could almost hear angels sing. Without the need to breathe, the moment lasted for what seemed to be a lifetime of bliss and lovely fever.

When we finally broke apart, she pressed her forehead to mine and poked my nose delicately.

"You are a complete idiot, Jasper Whitlock." She whispered, smiling.

"Yes, yes I am." I whispered back, kissing her lips once more. She smiled fully.

"It's a good thing I'm here, then." She added.

"Completely." I continued as I embraced her once more.