AN: I own nothing but the plot, Stephenie Myers owns Twilight, no profit is made.
Hello my wonderful readers. Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews last chapter. The story made it to 100 reviews and I'm very thankful for all of you. You have been my muse and inspiration in many occasions and I owe it all to you.
I know that the last chapter had a terrible cliffy and that many of you wanted me to update right away, and I disappointed you. I post as I write and I tried to get this chapter out faster, but it didn't happen, I hope you can all forgive me.
My fabulous Beta is still on vacation, so I apologize if the chapter is not to standard.
----
EPOV
I was frozen for a second as Bella went into cardiac arrest. I refused to believe that I had come so close only to lose her. I had to do something short of a miracle to bring her back, but I wasn't going to give up on her.
"Give me some epinephrine, now," I shouted at the EMT.
I quickly injected Bella while the EMT charged the paddles.
"Ready Dr. Cullen," he said.
"Step back, 3…2…1"
Thud
"Again," I shouted as Bella's heart refused to respond.
"3…2…1"
Thud
Nothing
I started to panic.
I continued CPR while I started to beg her not to give up.
"Please baby, don't leave me. Please, Bella, baby, everything is safe now. I'm here with you. Please, baby, come back," I started to sob as I continued pumping into her heart, the EMT working on the oxygen mask.
We were quickly reaching the point of no return and I was getting more than desperate.
"Bella, don't you fucking dare give up on me now. Do you hear me? Don't you dare leave me," I yelled as I pressed into her chest so hard I could hear the crack of a few ribs.
Beep… beep… beep…
I took a deep, shaky breath as the monitor started to show signs of life. Although Bella's skin was covered with bruises and lesions, I could see color come back to her face.
"Oh God, baby, thank you, thank you," I sobbed as we finally reached the hospital.
I quickly scrambled to my feet as a team of nurses removed the stretcher from the ambulance. I heard the EMTs explain everything about Bella's condition as they took her to one of their trauma rooms.
I made it all the way to the entrance of the trauma room when I was stopped by a nurse.
"Sir, you can't go in there, please wait outside," she told me in a soothing voice, yet her undertone was one of urgency.
"I am a doctor and I need to be there with her," I yelled in frustration.
"Edward!" I heard Jasper yell as he came running through the ER doors.
"I need to go in there now," I yelled once more as I ignored Jasper.
"Please, doctor, I understand, but you won't be any good in there right now. She's in very good hands," the nurse explained.
"Edward, please, she's right, let her go back to helping Bella. Everything will be ok now," Jasper told me as he forcefully moved me to the waiting area.
"I almost lost her, Jasper. What if she doesn't make it? This is all my fault. I should've taken better care of her," I said as I broke down in sobs.
"Please Edward, don't blame yourself for this. Everything will be ok now," Jasper repeated as he tried to soothe me.
"Family members of Bella Swan?" I heard a nurse ask.
"I'm Dr. Cullen, her boyfriend, I told her.
"Is there an immediate family member?" she asked.
"No, what's going on? How is she doing?" I asked in desperation.
"She needs to go into surgery right away, we need authorization," she said as I filled the consent forms.
"How is she doing?" I asked again.
"We are doing everything we can, Dr. Cullen, but I don't know if she is strong enough to survive surgery," a doctor said as he approached us.
"I'm Dr. Johnson, we are doing our best," he said as he took in the expression of despair on my face.
"We'll keep you posted," he continued before hurrying away.
----
Three hours later and there were still no news about Bella. So long for keeping us posted, I thought to myself as I paced the now packed waiting room. Everyone was here.
Each one of my siblings sat next to their significant others whispering among themselves. My father and my mother both sat in silence next to Bella's father. Charlie had a hard expression on his face, his knuckles white from his tight grip on the chair.
Agent Lamb and Gage were also at the hospital, Gage no longer having to worry about everyone knowing that he was alive. The rest of the task force was either still at the scene or waiting in another room to hear about Jacob.
Seth would alternate between the two waiting areas as he also waited for Jacob to come out of surgery.
"WHERE IS BELLA?" I heard Renee asked as she entered the waiting room.
Charlie had called her right after arriving at the hospital and told her about Bella's condition. He told her that he didn't want her near Bella again, but not even I would have the heart to enforce such a thing. Renee, just like the rest of us, was fooled by Mike, the perfect con artist.
"What the hell are you doing here, Renee?" Charlie asked between clenched teeth.
"She's my daughter, Charlie. No one is removing me from here," she told him with determination.
"Charlie, please let her stay. This is not the time or the place to be fighting. We all want Bella to get better," my father pleaded as my mom wrapped her arms around a now sobbing Renee and moved her to the chair I was previously occupying.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.
"I was such a fool. I've been such a bad mother, always putting social status and money over my own daughter. I realize this now," Renee continued as her sobs grew louder.
"She's never going to forgive me," she screamed in agony.
"You still don't know your own daughter," I yelled, surprising everyone.
I've had it with Renee and her hysterics. This wasn't about her, it was about my angel, my Bella.
"Do you really think she would resent you for anything? She loves you with all she's got. Why can't you see her?" I continued.
"I'm so sorry," was all she managed to say as she grew hysterical.
"I DON'T DESERVE MY OWN DAUGHTER. I SHOULD BE THE ONE DYING IN HER PLACE," she yelled as she fell on the floor and started to hit her head against the wall.
"Please, Renee, you need to calm down," my father said to her as he administered a tranquilizer one of the nurses brought him.
"My poor baby, I did this to her," Renee kept repeating over and over as the medication took effect.
Twenty minutes later Renee was wheeled to a room for observation while we resumed our somewhat quiet wait.
"Bella Swan's family?" Dr. Johnson called as the rest of the family stood up beside me.
"I'm her father. How is my daughter?" Charlie asked in a shaky voice.
"It was an extremely difficult surgery. She had been stabbed on her abdomen, injuring her liver, and also stabbed in the chest, missing the heart my a few inches," Dr. Johnson started.
"We almost lost her a few times while performing the surgery and to be honest her condition is extremely critical. She lost a lot of blood, was malnourished, and has severe trauma in her head, and all over the rest of her body. Her brain is too swollen right now to know if there are going to be any long lasting effects, or if she's going to survive. She is currently on a comma," he continued as I fell to the floor sobbing.
"What has been done to relieve the intracranial pressure, my dad asked as he went into doctor mode.
"Right now, it seems like the swelling it subsiding on its own, and since she is so weak, we decided to wait and see if she would need brain surgery later on," Dr. Johnson explained.
"I want to see her MRI results and I also need to know who I can talk to so that they can authorize me to keep an eye on her as well. I'm a Neurosurgeon at Shady Grove, and in the event brain surgery is needed, I would like to be the one to perform it," my dad explained.
"Yes, of course Dr. Cullen. I actually know who you are, and I'm sure it won't be a problem. Would you like to see her now?" he asked.
"Yes, but I would also like to bring my son. He's also a neurosurgeon, and her boyfriend."
"Not a problem, please follow me," Dr. Johnson instructed as we followed him down the hall.
I was still in a haze as we changed into sterilized scrubs and waited for Dr. Johnson to return with the authorization. Bella was in such critical condition that they wouldn't be allowing the family to see her just yet.
"Please follow me doctors," Dr. Johnson called as he led us to the ICU.
Bella was in a private room within the ICU, and for that I was thankful.
I took a deep breath as I took my first glance of Bella. She looked so tiny and so fragile with all the equipment she was hooked to.
Her skin was even purpler from all the concussions, but she was clean. Her eyes were shut and almost black. I imagined her lips were just as swollen, but it was covered with the intubation materials.
I could hear my father going over Bella's chart and MRI images, but I couldn't focus on that. All I wanted to do was hold onto Bella and never let go of her hand.
"You are doing so good, baby. You've fought so hard. I need you to keep doing just that, keep fighting, please baby. I can't lose you," I whispered against her ear as I took one of her tiny, cold hands between my big, warm ones.
"Son," my father said.
I hadn't realized that Dr. Johnson had left the room as I whispered my love to Bella.
"Be honest dad, is she going to make it?" I asked him as I took another glance at my angel.
"It's hard to say. She is hanging to a thread, but she is fighting hard, Edward. Please know that. The swelling on her brain is minimal, but I would prefer she stay on a comma until she heals a little. Right now her body is too mangled to handle the pain," he explained.
"She has to make it, dad. I would die if she doesn't," I sobbed as my dad placed a hand on my shoulder and brought me into a side hug.
"I know, Edward. I know," he said as he left the room to give me some privacy.
----
APOV
It had been five days since we found Bella. They had been the hardest five days of our entire lives.
Bella's situation had gotten better, but not before getting a lot worse. In five days she had two surgeries and her heart stopped beating four times. It was horrible.
It was hard to believe she had been the lucky one, as Jacob didn't make it. His body had been transferred to Washington yesterday for the funeral, and it had been very heartbreaking for all of us, but especially to Bella's dad. He loved Jacob as a son.
It was really hard to witness Edward's state. Every time Bella faced a crisis brought him closer to losing it. Every time she would improve the tiniest bit, he was there to tell her how good she was doing, always encouraging her to keep on fighting.
He refused to leave the hospital, using the doctor's launch area to take short naps and shower. His eyes had a permanent purple cloud all over them, and he was sporting an almost fully grown beard.
The rest of us had been staying at a hotel nearby, taking turns to come to the hospital and spend some time with Edward and Bella. Charlie and Renee were also still here, and their communication was improving with each passing day.
Renee still felt extremely guilty about everything, and she was under the care of a Psychologist at the hospital because she would succumb to panic attacks very often.
Now we were all waiting for the authorization to transfer Bella to Shady Grove hospital to be processed. Bella had been stable for more than twenty fours, and my father felt it was best if she was transferred to where he worked.
The hospital in Richmond had been very accommodating, but they didn't have the state of the art equipment that Shady Grove Hospital did. My father wanted to re-evaluate everything about her case because he was concerned ab out her comatose state. They had stopped inducing the comma a few days before they decided to transfer her and Bella had yet to wake up.
It was a Monday morning on April 8th when Bella was transferred via helicopter to the Shady Grove Hospital in Maryland. Edward and my father were allowed to accompany her on the helicopter while the rest of us drove the two hour drive back to Maryland.
By the time we reached the hospital, Bella had been settled into another ICU private room. Edward was seating on a chair next to her bed as Jasper and I came into the room.
"How is she doing?" I asked.
"She's fine. The trip was uneventful," he answered in a dead tone.
"Edward, now that we are here, I think it would be a good idea if you went home. You look so exhausted, and you could use a few solid hours of sleep," I suggested.
"I can't leave her Alice. I'm so terrified of losing her still. I just can't leave her side."
"Edward, please trust me, she is going to make it. I know she will. I don't know when, but she'll come back to us," I tried to reassure him.
"But what if she wakes up and I'm not here, Alice? I would never be able to forgive myself if that happened. What if it was Jasper on that bed, would you leave him for a couple of hours to do something as mundane as sleeping?" Edward asked.
"I guess I see your point," I sighed in defeat.
"Hang in there bro," Jasper said to him as we left the room.
I was frustrated with Edward and his refusal to rest, but I knew there was nothing I could do to change his mind. I was worried about him getting sick from exhaustion, and I was also worried about his depression. He had turned into a completely different Edward the moment he woke up in the hospital after Bella's disappearance.
The only tiny bit of satisfaction that I had these days was knowing that Mike and his partner were rotting in hell, and that they would never be able to hurt Bella again.
As it turned out Mike Newton was not acting alone. He had recruited the help from someone he bullied non-stop in High School. His name was James Huntington. Together they were responsible for nine murders across the US.
James was the one responsible for killing Seth's sister Leah, and for killing Jacob. The FBI believes that Mike was James "copy cat". He basically adapted the way James killed to fit his own purposes.
Seth explained that Bella and James had been friends in High School, so the FBI was not clear about his motivation for helping Mike. The way Seth explained it, Bella was the only person who would talk with James and would defend him from Mike and Leah's constant attacks.
It was so unfair that Bella had to go through all of that. She was such a wonderful, sensible, and humble person. She went out of her way to help others and never had anything bad to say about anyone, even those who had harmed her.
All I hoped was for this nightmare to be over, for Bella to wake up from her comma and for her and Edward to resume their relationship. I knew the road ahead was going to be extremely difficult for both of them, but I also knew that they would survive it together, and that at the end they would be as happy, if not happier than they were before.
----
EPOV
Six weeks, two days, and five hours. That was how long Bella had been on a comma. Although all the swelling in her brain had vanished, she was still somewhere out in the afterlife.
She had been breathing on her own for three weeks and she almost looked like my angel now. Most of the bruises had vanished, and most of the superficial cuts were a light pink color. Her broken hip bones and ribs were also in the mend, but those would take a least a couple more weeks before they were healed, and a lot of physical therapy after that for the bones to be strong again.
She was now in a private room out of the ICU, and other than the fact that she wasn't waking up, she was no longer in danger of dying. However, I was still hesitant about leaving her side. Other than quick showers and meals, I was at her room all the time.
Our family, and that included Renee and Charlie, would take turns throughout the day visiting Bella, but not a single day went by that they all missed a visit. Angela and Ben would also come as often as her shifts would allow them. They were both shocked and sad about everything that had happened to Bella.
Everyone would stop by and talk to Bella, tell her stories, jokes, and sometimes even read her the paper or other story that they deemed important. The girls would come over and wash her hair, put moisturizer all over her body, and sometimes even a little bit of makeup.
My mother would come in twice a day to massage and exercise Bella's good limbs. She had also taken the charge of reading Bella her classic romantic novels, such as Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice.
I often found the most comfort from Gage. He too had survived terrible wounds in what we know now were the hands of Mike. He had been in a comma, just like Bella was, and he had manage to recuperate fully and was doing really well. However he shared my biggest concern, the psychological drama that would undoubtedly come after such an ordeal.
Gage mentioned that he suffered from terrible nightmares. He would relive over, and over what happened to him that night. The nightmares had gotten a little better, but they were still there.
I couldn't begin to imagine why it would be like for Bella. She was kidnapped for almost a month, tortured endlessly by two very sick individuals.
She was my Angel sent to me to save me from my own desperation and she had been beaten, broken down, and stomped on by the two most evil people I had ever known about. Bella, the one person who would have given her life to save either one of them, just because she could, because of who she was.
I sighed as I stared at my beautiful Angel. I stood up from my seat and made my way towards the side of her bed, carefully picking her up and moving her a bit so that I could lay down next to her.
I did the same thing every night. It was the only way I could sleep. The only way I wouldn't relieve Mike's smile as he plunged the knife into Bella's chest. I was glad that the nurses knew me and would allow it, because my need to be closer to Bella grew as the days went by.
----
It had now been two months since Bella had been in a comma. Nothing in our routine had changed other than our increased efforts to gain a response from her. With each passing day she would look more and more like my Bella, but she was still gone.
I wanted desperately for her to wake up. I wanted to see her smile, to hear her voice. I missed the way her hair would smell after her evening shower, her sweet voice, her warm hugs, the way her nose would wrinkle when she didn't like something, and the way she frowned when she was in deep concentration.
I missed the feel of her warm body as we made love, our long conversations about classic books and the new literary doom we were being forced into. I missed her quick footsteps and happy squeals every time I came home as she would run to me and jump in my arms.
One of my biggest concerns was that even after she woke up, I wouldn't get any of that back, that the Bella that I knew and loved would be gone forever. Could I love her if she was completely different? Of course I could. She was my soul mate.
"Hello, Edward. How's Bella doing today?" I heard Angela ask as she entered the room.
"Still the same," I responded sadly.
"It looks like she's getting some more color on her skin," Angela pointed out as she stroked Bella's hair.
"Yeah, she's definitely getting better," I whispered.
"What's wrong?" Angela asked.
"Nothing," I lied.
"Edward, please talk to me. You know that you can trust me. Tell me, what's the matter?" she begged as she started to brush Bella's hair.
"I don't know where to begin. I feel so freaking selfish for feeling the way I've been feeling and I'm ashamed of myself."
"What are you talking about?" She asked in a concerned voice.
"I've been so angry lately. All I want is for her to wake up, for me to look into her eyes and for once see life in them. I have so many worries. What if she never recovers? What if she's different? What if she hates me for not protecting her?"
"Edward, first of all, it's normal to feel angry and frustrated. We are doctors and we have dealt with many families feeling the same way you feel right now. I know that your anger is not directed at her, and I know that you know that," she began.
"I also understand your worries. We all feel the same way. There is nothing I want more than for my best friend, my sister, to wake up from that comma, but right now she is healing, and that's what matters," Angela continued.
"Stop beating yourself up over this. Bella loves you, and she's fighting so that she can be back with you. You just need faith; you need to believe that your love for each other is a lot stronger than this. And for the last time, please stop blaming yourself for what those sick bastards did to her. Mike would have hurt her even if she never met you, that's the kind of person he was.,"
"Thanks Angela," I said as I moved to give her a hug.
"I really needed to hear that. Thank you!" I repeated.
"That's what friends are for," she shrugged as she placed a small kiss on Bella's forehead and started to hum a tune for her.
"How's Ben?" I asked as I realized that she had arrived alone.
"He's doing well. We're considering moving down here this summer, and transferring my residency. Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked.
"Honestly, John Hopkins is the best hospital in the area. Don't give that up. You only have two more years before your residency is over, and I assure you, they will fly by," I tried to reassure her.
"But we wanted to be closer to you guys," Angela stated.
"We're not that far. Trust me, it'll be worth it if you stay in Baltimore. We'll go visit as often as possible."
"Thanks, Edward. Ben feels the same way, but after what happened to Bella I've been feeling guilty about us being so far away from each other. I took so many things for granted. This whole situation has opened my eyes to what's important," she said.
"Saving lives is also important, and for that you have to get the best training possible. You will do great once you finish your residency, and then you can move and live anywhere you like," I reassured her.
Angela stayed for another hour before she had to go back home. I was feeling a lot better after her visit. She listened to all I had to say, and gave me very good advice, but she also made me feel useful by asking for my help in making such an important decision.
The next day was a flurry of activity as everyone took turns visiting. Saturdays and Sundays were the busiest days for us as everyone was off from work.
The first to come was Charlie. He visited with Bella for half an hour, telling her stories from her childhood and how much he loved her. After Charlie left, my mother and Renee came for a visit. My mother read to Bella as Renee worked on Bella's legs and arms in an attempt to keep her muscles from stiffening.
Right after, it was Alice and Rose's turn. They told me to take a break while they showered and pampered Bella. When I came back to the room, Bella had on a little bit of makeup and smelled like fresh strawberries.
Emmett, Jasper, and Gage were the last to visit. They took turns telling Bella jokes and making plans for when she woke up. When all the guys visited I often found myself hoping that Bella was unable to hear all the silly stuff that came out of their mouth.
After everyone had gone for the day, I moved to a little table that had been set at the far end of the room and hit the play button on my iPod. Being a doctor here gave me certain benefits, and one of them was being allowed to have my iPod and docking station in the room and play it for Bella.
Often I would play some of the compositions that I had written and recorded a long time ago. Other times I played songs that I knew she liked, or songs that fit my mood. Today I decided to play a little Dido. Bella loved Here With Me and I hadn't played that song for her yet.
I settled in my usual spot next to Bella, as the soft lyrics started to fill the room.
I
didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I
don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
I glanced at Bella's peaceful profile as I started to sing the lyrics.
Oh
I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can't hide
And
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're
resting here with me
And I won't leave
I can't hide
I
cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
Tears started to run down my face as the meaning of the words hit me. It was as if she was singing to me and my determination to not move until Bella was awake.
I
don't want to call my friends
For they might wake me from this
dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's
been
Oh I am what I am
I do what I want
But I can't
hide
And
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're
resting here with me
"I love you so much, baby," I whispered to Bella as I stroked her face. I placed small butterfly kisses all over her jaw line, and then took one of her hands in mine and I brought it to my face.
I
won't go
And I won't sleep
And I can't breathe
Until
you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
I can't
hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
Oh
I am what I am
I do what
I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go
I won't
sleep
And I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
My sobs grew louder as I place her tiny hand back on the bed and watched intently at her face. I missed her deep, rich brown eyes. I missed the way you could get lost in them, the way they would sometimes reflect what was Bella, and yet other times remain mysterious and dark.
"Wake up, my baby? I miss you so, so much," I whimpered.
I
won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting
here
And I won't go
And I won't sleep
And I can't
breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with
me
I placed a soft kiss against her lips, letting my lips linger in hers for a little while I regained my composure. I moved my head back, and stared at her gorgeous features, willing her to open her eyes.
A Blue October song started to play as I placed my hand once again against the delicate softness of her face. I moved my fingers so that I could stroke her cheeks when I felt something wet brush against my fingertips.
I gasped as I realized that there were tears running down Bella's face. That's when I noticed that her body was shaking, her hands gripping the sheets on the bed.
"Bella, love, can you hear me?" I asked as I moved from the bed and started to examine her.
"Bella?" I asked once again.
I gasped once more as she opened her eyes, her beautiful chocolate eyes squinting in an effort to focus.
"Bella!" I exclaimed as I pushed the Nurse Station Button.
"Yes Dr. Cullen?" I heard one of the nurses ask.
"Please page Dr. Martinez and my father. Bella's awake," I instructed her.
Bella was awake.
Bella was awake
My beautiful angel was awake.
I sang the same words over and over in my head as Bella let out a small whimper.
"Baby? Can you hear me? Do you think you can talk?" I asked as I grabbed her hand.
She squeezed my hand softly as she carefully moved her head so she could face me, a look of confusion crossing her features before softening into what looked like deep relief.
She started to sob as her grip on my hand intensified.
"Baby, is alright, you are safe now. Everything is going to be alright," I tried to reassure her. I figured she was confused and scared and I wanted to make her feel at ease.
"Eh… Eh…" I heard her whisper before she cleared her throat.
"It's alright, honey, you don't need to talk right now. Everything its fine," I continued as she became more and more agitated.
"Bella, please calm down, baby. Please take a deep breath for me, and calm down," I calmly instructed her. She was getting herself so worked up that she started to hyperventilate.
"You…" she whispered again.
"What is it?" I asked as I realized that she wouldn't calm down until she told me what she had to say.
A soft smile appeared on her face as she pressed her eyes shut in concentration and cleared her throat once again.
"You are alive," she whispered in a harsh voice, surely from not speaking in so long.
"Yes baby, and so are you," I said as I placed a small kiss on her lips.
"I … I love you," she whispered before closing her eyes one more time.
----
So there are only one or two chapters left. As a token of my appreciation, I would love to hear your ideas about how you would like this story to end and I will do my best to incorporate some of them, so please let me know what's on your mind!!