"Sometimes memories are worth the pain." – Unknown.

Chapter Four.

We were at Edward's house. I'd changed out of my dress and could hear them talking.

"Edward, did you have fun tonight?" Emmett asked. They were in the hallway. I wondered if they knew I could hear them. I tried not to ease drop, but I wanted to hear what Edward's responds was.

"You know I did." He muttered slightly annoyed. Emmett sighed.

"You know Alice is only trying to help… in her own twisted way…" Emmett chuckled. Edward was quiet.

"I know… but I'm worried about Bella…" He said with a serious tone to his voice.

"What happened?" Emmett asked and alarm crept into his voice.

"Nothing exactly… but she won't visit Charlie…. She hasn't seen him since he was put in jail… she won't visit the only family she has… which is the Blacks… She's cutting herself off from everyone… and she's home alone all the time… I just wish I could help her…" Edward whispered with pain in his voice.

"I think you're helping her more than you know you are." Emmett said. I finished and turned on the water so they knew I was still in there. I turned off the water and headed out.

"Hey guys…" I muttered trying to act like I didn't hear what they were talking about. I shivered. I was freezing.

"I'll be right back." Edward muttered. Emmett smiled and we walked into the living room. Alice and Rose were fight over the movie. Jasper sat there. I was nervous about this. I mean truly terrified. I didn't even really know these people and I was hanging out with them. Someone touched my back with a cool hand. My heart was racing.

"Here, you looked cold." Edward whispered and his breath sent chills down my spine and my heart was racing.

"Thanks… you didn't have to though…" I said as I slipped the sweat shirt on. Emmett sat down on a huge brown chair and watch Alice and Rose fight.

"Bella, you pick." Alice said as she held two movies out in front of my face.

"Um… that one." I said not really caring what movie we watched.

"Ha-ha!" Alice laughed at Rose. I'm guessing I picked Alice's movie. Edward sat down and pulled me down next to him. The movie had started and we were all sitting there watching. I wondered why I felt so out of place here. I knew I didn't belong but something was keeping me here. It could've been Edward's hand around my shoulder. But I was sure that something else was keeping me from bolting right out the door.

The movie was good but, it was extremely sad. A few tears escaped my eyes. I didn't want to be the only one crying so I quickly brushed them away. We finished the movie and nobody moved.

"That was sad." Emmett whispered. I was fighting back the tears. Finding Neverland was suppose to be… not sad, but it was. Edward looked at me. He took his thumb and wiped away my tear. I looked down at his shoulder.

"Let's watch something else…" Rose said quietly. Nobody was really talking. Rose put something in. I heard Edward sigh. I looked up at him and smiled slightly. His lips twitched. He readjusted himself so we weren't touching anymore. I squirmed around uncomfortably until there was some distance between us. The movie started.

I let out a small scream and buried my head into my knees. Everyone laughed.

"What's the matter Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Um…" I turned red but it was dark so they maybe couldn't see. "I don't do very well with scary movies." I admitted. Emmett laughed.

"I knew having you around would be fun!" Emmett boomed.

"Thanks Emmett." I muttered and returned to watching the movie.

"What's this movie called?" I asked.

"Mirrors." Edward said. I nodded and started at the TV. I flinched and shifted around. I was doing well until it got gory.

"Ah! That's disgusting! Yuck!" I said and hid in my knees again. Emmett was laughing at me. I looked up and Alice was buried into Jasper's side and Rose into Emmett. I sudden felt sad again. I wanted to know how Edward felt about but I didn't want to ask him because then he'd know I liked him. I caught Jasper looking at me. He looked confused. I glanced away.

I was fighting the heavy eye lids, but I finally caved. I fell into a deep sleep.

I was walking to my house. It was pitch dark out. I'd heard some noise come from within the house. I quietly opened the door and I grabbed an umbrella out from the umbrella stand by the door. I heard someone upstairs. I quietly made my way upstairs. I got into my room and raised the umbrella over my head.

"Ah!" I shouted as I realized it was only Charlie.

"Geez… Charlie you scared me…" I muttered his back was still turned to me. The turned around and his jaw was ripped in half. I screamed. I ran from the house and I kept running. But whatever was chasing me I couldn't out run it.

I awoke from the dream gasping for air. I was on the couch… but I wasn't in my house. I looked up and Edward looked terrified. I shook my head and sat up.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You fell asleep as we were watching a movie after the dance." Edward said. Someone came running down stairs.

"Edward what's going on? I heard someone screaming…" Alice said. The rest of the Cullens quickly followed her. I turned red.

"Um… Bella… you were talking in your sleep…" Edward said. Everyone waited. I was instantly more alert.

"What did I say?" I asked my heart quickening.

"Um…" he took a long pause. "You were screaming bloody murder for Charlie." He whispered with pained eyes. I glanced at his family and they all seemed sad. I shook my head. Today was Charlie's birthday. He and I had made plans a while ago.

"Um… I think I should leave…" I said fighting back the tears that were over taking my vision. I threw my legs over the couch and hurried from the door. I made it to the driveway when I realized I didn't have a car. I sighed.

"Bella, at least let me drive you…" Edward said. He came next to me and I walked towards his car before he could say anything. The drive home was quick. I hurried inside without saying anything to Edward other than thanks. I bolted the door shut and sat behind it. My eyes filled with tears. I don't know how long I sat there thinking of Charlie alone in his cell. I showered and grabbed a bag from under my bed and hurried to my truck. I wasn't sure what to do… and I couldn't believe that I was at the Cullen's this morning… it all seems too surreal. I shivered as I pulled into the parking lot. I was searched down and they looked inside the gift bag. I walked in. A worker showed me to a room where I saw Charlie sitting at a table.

He smiled. I tried to smile but I couldn't. I was fighting the tears.

"Hey Bells!" he said. His eyes were twinkling with tears. He coughed and wiped his eyes. I started to cry.

"Hi daddy…" I whispered. "Um… I brought you some stuff." I said. I dug around in my bag and handed him some pictures.

"These are picture from my graduation… I was valedictorian…" I whispered. He flipped through them. I pulled out a piece of paper.

"What's that?" he asked as he finished the pictures.

"Well… this is my speech… sort of… I kind of started to make it up as I went along." I admitted. He read through it a couple times and smiled. I didn't leave the part out about him… I thought he should know.

"That's really good Bella." He smiled. I nodded. I handed him the bag.

"Happy birthday." I said. He opened up the gift. I'd forgotten I'd gotten him tickets to the big baseball game. I looked down.

"Sorry… I forgot what I'd gotten you…" I muttered.

"I will get out Bella…" He promised. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Dad, I want to believe you I really do… I know you didn't do this and you know you didn't do this… but I can't see it… I'm starting to think they'll never let you out." I cried. He just sat there and the sting of my words hit him.

"Bella, you go on with your plans after high school and when I get out I will find you." He said and I knew he meant it.

"Um thanks dad… I love you." I muttered.

"Love you too Isabella." He whispered. I got up and hugged him.

"I'll leave these on the fridge for you… so you can use them when you get home." I whispered. I pulled out of the hug and the guards came and took him away. His names were handcuffed and he was in his orange jumpsuit. He was actually in jail and I couldn't help him.

It was the saddest thing I'd ever have to see. I looked at my watch and I was late for my new summer job. I hurried home and changed and headed out to work.

I pulled up to the hospital and hurried inside. I got there and found Doctor Cullen standing around waiting for something or someone.

"Oh good Bella…" He said. I waited for him to finish. "There's a guest at this hospital and I want you to be the only nurse to go in there and only you… unless I tell you otherwise." He said in a low voice.

"Who are they… the patient I mean." I asked. Doctor Cullen took a deep breath.

"He's a killer… he's to get a lethal injection in a couple of days but he's got a brain issue that we're watching it was a small tumor, but it's gone now. He's stable but he's handcuffed to the bed and guards are right outside his room. And you aren't to close the door when you go in there… it's all precaution." Carlisle said. I nodded.

"Who did he kill?" I asked with an edge to my voice.

"Um…" He started. I looked at him, "Carlisle, who did he kill?" I asked again.

"Five women." He answered softly.

"Why me?" I asked.

"Because I know you'll treat him like he's just a person and not a criminal." He answered.

"Why did he kill them?"

"Because he was bored." He said sadly. I nodded. Carlisle handed me his charts. I headed in there.

"Hello." He said. He was laying on the bed and he had orange hair and blue eyes. He was laying there with his head wrapped in some gauze. His voice was smooth.

"Good afternoon… how are you feeling today?" I asked trying to be compassionate and not scared.

"I've got a bit of a headache." He smiled. I nodded and gave him some pain killers.

"I've given you a pain killer that will help with the headache but it'll make you drowsy." I said.

"You shouldn't have tried to fix me. I didn't want to surgery anyways…" He said shaking his head.

"Excuse me?" I asked softly.

"I'm going to die in a few days when I get out of here… so I don't think you should try to fix me." He said. I stared at him.

"Who was your doctor?" I asked wondering who wouldn't have listened to him.

"Doctor Cullen said that I should get this done because it was the right thing to do… I don't remember much after that." He said. I felt bad for him. Someone came in the room.

"Come on Bella…" It was Carlisle. I followed him out of the room.

"Why did you give him the surgery when he didn't want it?" I asked.

"He shouldn't get to pick the he gets to die. He committed a crime and should be punished. He should live up to what he's done." He said.

"Bella, he came be manipulative, be careful." He said and walked off. I checked on my other patients but I couldn't help but think of the poor man back there. He just wanted to die without everyone seeing you… having all those unfriendly faces watching you. I shivered. I headed back down to his room.

"Well, well… I'm glad your back." He smiled.

"So why'd you do it… if you don't want to die?" I asked. He smirked.

"I only meant to do one… but it was just fun." He said. I stared at him.

"Does the lethal inject hurt?" He asked. He was going to be able to leave tomorrow and then he'd die.

"No. first they put you to sleep like they did when you went into surgery. But the only difference is this time you won't wake up. They inject several poisons and the last one kills you. The first few they put in stop your organs and the last one stops your heart." I told him. He nodded.

"I just don't want to die with angry faces staring in at me… and its open viewing so anyone can watch." He said. I nodded.

"How's your head?" I asked changing the subject.

"Fine." He said.

"I'll get Doctor Cullen in here to examine you." I said and left. I couldn't imagine what he must feel right now. I wanted to understand but I knew I couldn't. I saw Carlisle talking to Alice and Jasper. I waited at the nurse's station filling in some charts until he was done. I over heard his conversation.

"…I don't know what to do… I don't want her getting manipulated." Carlisle said.

"Bella's strong Carlisle… you've got to give her some credit." Alice said.

"She hasn't even seen Charlie yet…" He whispered.

"I think she has." Jasper said. I glanced back at them and they were staring at me. Why was Carlisle worried about me… and why was he talking to Alice and Jasper about it? I wasn't sure why, but I was scared.

"We'll see you later… call if you need anything else… just don't tell Edward…" Alice said.

"Why?" Carlisle asked.

"He'd flip if he knew about this situation." Jasper said. Carlisle nodded.

"How is he Bella?" He asked as he headed towards me.

"He feels fine… but I don't know…" I admitted. He stared at me. "I think we shouldn't send him out there so quickly." I said. He shook his head.

"Bella, his injection is tomorrow." He said. "We will release him back to jail as soon as we can." Carlisle said. I sighed. "I don't think its fair…"

"Killing five women isn't fair to them or to their families but he did that. Bella you've got to be careful." I nodded.

"I want you to tell him he's going home tomorrow." He said and walked away. I sighed. I headed back to his room.

"I have some news for you." I said.

"They're sending me back home… er to jail… aren't they?" he asked. The look on his face hurt. I looked at my hands.

"I'm sorry. Carlisle thinks its best." I said quietly.

"You don't agree with him?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't have much say in anything." I said.

"Like what? Because you seem to have it pretty good from where I'm sitting." He said. I half smiled.

"I suppose you're right… but things aren't easy everywhere." I said. He nodded.

"So… the guards will be taking you away tonight." I said.

"You know what?" He asked.

"I told my other nurse this… I told her my grandpa when he was dying he kept on saying that he smelt lemon… that when you die you smell lemons. I told her I thought he was crazy… but you know what?" he asked again.

"I think I smell lemons." I couldn't believe it. I stared at him. I just walked out. I couldn't believe this. I was in the lobby when I saw him leave. He glanced at me. I smiled at him so he'd remember a friendly face in an unfriendly world.

"Bella…" I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Go home… take tomorrow off…" Carlisle said. I nodded. I headed out to my truck and raced home. I ran inside and locked the door. I feel asleep on the couch.

I awoke the next morning in a haze. I showered and got ready for the long day. I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do but, I wanted to show him some compassion. I wanted him to know that not everyone is evil. I wanted him to have a friendly face around his final moments. I wanted him to know… I'd be his friend. I slowly made my way up into the jail. I walked into the room and it was crowded. I sat down. There was a giant glass window and in the window there was a table, and wires and tubes everywhere and another door. The door opened and he came walking out with two guards. He looked at me and I smiled. He weakly managed to smile. He laid down and I waited. I saw a tear escape his eye. I sat there and then one of the big guards started to inject him.

It was the most awful thing I'd ever have to watch. I knew they had to die but that's a horrible way to go. I felt utter terror and sadness that he had to die in such away. And there wasn't a friendly face in the crowd. I hurried from the jail as the tears streamed down my face. I hurried to find my truck. I saw someone standing there.

"Bella…" It was a familiar voice. "…I told you not to get manipulated…" Carlisle whispered as he pulled me in for a hug. I couldn't stop crying.

"I just wanted to show him some compassion." I cried. I couldn't stop.

"Bella let me drive you home." Carlisle said. We got in the car and we were almost half way there and I didn't want to be by myself.

"No…" I said in a shaky voice. "I don't want to be alone… not tonight…" I said. I was thinking of where I could go. I didn't have many friends and I didn't want to go by Jacob because he and Billy wouldn't understand. I sighed.

"I know where to take you…" Carlisle said. I closed my eyes and we drove. I opened my eyes and we were at his house.

"Carlisle… this was sweet of you… but, I don't think coming here was a good idea." I said. I liked Carlisle and his family, but I think it's easier to be alone than to be in front of what I'll never have. A loving whole family.

"Relax Bella…" He said and we walked inside. I was still upset about the injection.

"Carlisle what's wrong?" Alice asked as we walked threw the door.

"She went to the injection… to show the Mr. Masen some compassion." He whispered. Alice hugged me.

"Bella, it's okay." Her bell voice was calming. I relaxed and stopped crying.

"Bella… why did you go?" Jasper asked as he looked confused.

"I wanted Mr. Masen to know that he'd have a friendly face out there… I wanted him to see and know what compassion is… but mostly I wanted him to know… I was his friend even though, he killed those women. That just because he made a mistake doesn't mean I'm going to think of him as a killer. Because in the end, he was just as scared as the rest of us… confused about what's going to happen. And he wanted to know someone would be there… and I was." I said as I looked him in the eyes.

Everyone was quiet. Emmett and Rosalie came into the room holding hands. And Emse had some how came into the room and was standing next to Carlisle. I felt that gnawing emptiness tug at my chest so I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around my knees. Everyone stared at me. Nobody speaking.

"Wow…" Emmett muttered. It was silent other than that. I just pulled tighter on my knees. No one knew what to say… I'd rather be alone… I don't need anyone feeling bad for me. I can take care of myself and I don't need pity or anything. I was actually getting annoyed. No I was angry. These people didn't know and I didn't care for them too. I have no desire to know them and they don't know me and I don't want them pretending to know me. I am who I am, and nothing will change that.

I just wanted everyone to forget about me… let me fade into the background of their lives and soon I'll be forgotten. I don't want to be noticed and I don't want attention. I want to be alone.

"Bella…" Jasper started but then he stopped.

"What?" I asked slightly wondering what he wanted to say.

"Um… it's nothing…" He muttered. I just didn't get them… they didn't act human.

"Well, I'm going to go… and let you all be." I said and hurried out for the door. As I put my hand on the door knob the door opened.

Hit or miss?

I tried to make this longer… and if any of you read my other stories things have been crazy and I haven't updated lately but I'm on spring holiday, so I'll try to update my other stories. How many of you have your twilight movie? I really love the movie. And all the bonus features… I sound like a nerd… but how they made the movie is awesome.

Anyways… songs I recommend:

Flightless Bird – Iron & Wine

Full Moon – Black Ghosts