Okay chapter 14 up and running. Thanks for everyone who reviewed. Enjoy the chapter.
Okay, underlined stuff is the past, italics is thoughts
It took George six months to finish his OT therapy. Six frustrating months. The frustrating part wasn't the training itself, even though George was nearly frustrated to tears though most of the training, it was the progression of trauma. For the first two months George couldn't remember the kidnapping at all and he was fine. He was just fine after he learned to speak again, talking and joking, and making jokes about his present situation. He was surprised at his state at first and cried a little at his deformed self but then almost immediately went into making everything into a big joke. Then one day something clicked and he begun to slowly remember the kidnapping and with those memories he lost his jokes and his smiles and the tinkle in his eyes turned to haunted. More and more he started to cry more. Then he stopped talking, just stopped, and instead would just stare at the wall blankly. When he did talk it was just to answer the doctor's questions and usually it was yes or no or maybe. The only time anyone could really get him to talk was during his OT therapy sessions which he only tolerated because he had to complete his OT training before he could go home. George had been quite stubborn in his therapy though and he proved to be a difficult patient for his physical therapist but he passed, it took six months, but he passed.
It was officially the day that George would be released from the hospital. George had a small limp still from tearing his calf and he writes like a fist grader but he was going home. Of course Fred was more than excited about having his brother come home. He was so excited that he didn't even open his shop that day and instead waited impatiently at the Burrow until his mom said it was time to go. Fred imagined that it would be a quick process of getting George home, grab him and leave. No, it wasn't that easy at all. Instead Fred was stuck listening to some fat doctor going on and one about PTS and RTS and what to expect from a rape victim and blah…Fred didn't give a shit what the doctor had to say, he came to collect George and get them the fuck out of St. Mugals.
Damn it was never that easy…
Fred was cranky yes, but he had a good reason to be. See Cedric and Alicia had been at the Burrow for about five months now, and those babies had never stopped crying. Then add the twins trying to walk and talking in gibberish and it was too much for Fred to deal with. So of course he couldn't stop himself from mocking the doctor in his head and cussing silently at the doctor as he tapped his feet impatiently. The doctor went on and on passing a list of psychologists and rape centers to Molly who smiled sadly. The doctor finally shut up and Fred was beginning to walk toward George's room when the doctor started again.
"Any questions?" The fat old doctor said, Fred forgot the name, or better yet never learned his name.
"Yeah, couldn't everything be written down on some letter?" Fred asked grumpily.
"Frederick, that is not how a gentlemen acts." Molly lectured her son who rolled his eyes at her. She gave him a glare before turning back to the doctor, "Sorry about his behavior Dr. Simmers." Oh yeah, that's his name. How could I forget that name? He has the type of name that George and I would laugh about forever.
"That's all right, hey I know," He paused looking directly at Fred, "why don't you get your brother ready to be released." Simmers smiled, Fred remained emotionless before finally nodding. Molly handed him a heavy backpack before motioning him to leave. Throwing the backpack over the shoulders he headed for George's room seeing Melissa and Mandi smiling at him.
"Today is the day huh?" Melissa asked with excitement.
"Nervous?" Mandi asked Fred kindly; it was not only a relief to Fred that George was going home but the nurses too. No more nightmares or yelling or fits.
"Maybe." Fred answered truthfully. The truth was that even though Fred was happy to finally have George come home, he was terrified. George had been kind of funny since he woke up from the coma.
At first it wasn't bad; George couldn't speak or do much of anything except squeeze Fred's hand or nod his head a little. Then as time flew by and he started to talk it started to become…strange. George would say random words that made no sense, asking for imaginary people or imaginary things. Then he started asking for his family, demanding that his family stayed with him at all times, sometimes he cried when Fred left his side for even a second. When Fred told George that he has to go to his job George would go hysterical, yelling harsh words at Fred, asking how he could abandon him. Then things went even more downhill when the nurses actually found a way to remove the stitches and buttons from around his eyes. After that George changed. He didn't want to close his eyes for anything and at night he kept screaming and screaming and none of the hospital staff knew why. That was until Melissa one night walked into George's room after hearing him screaming to find the poor man underneath his white blanket shaking uncontrollably. Melissa decided to turn on the light just to see if the darkness was causing him the fear. It was. So every night the staff would have to leave the light on in George's room and shut his windows so he wouldn't see any darkness at all.
Then the real fun began. At his lunchtime break one day, Fred went over to see George only to find out that George requested that nobody could visit him at that time. Getting mad Fred yelled at the nurses to tell him why George didn't want to see him. He would never forget Melissa's answer, "because he is asleep." Apparently George didn't want any of his friends or family members to see him while he's asleep. Why, Fred didn't have the slightest clue. Then the other shit begun, George became withdrawn, up to the point that he wouldn't even look at Fred when he walked inside. A lot of times Fred would walk into the room to find George trying to pick some small object up with his hand only to groan a second later when the object fell.
Still it wasn't so bad right? He would get better right?
George was coming home today; Fred should feel overwhelmed with happiness, so why does he feel so unsure? Was it because Fred knew that by having George return home he still won't be his old self again? Sucking it up, he opened George's door and peered inside happy to see George sitting on the bed wearily, maybe even a little scared, and that did nothing to calm the uneasiness in his stomach.
"Guess what, we are going home now." Fred said forcing a smile and George forced a smile back.
"Well... aren't you going to say something?" Fred asked his silent twin who just looked down at his feet.
"What is there to say?" George whispered. Fred's smile immediately dropped, and his throat felt like someone had been squeezing it roughly as he struggled to find something to say.
"Say that you are happy." Fred answered sadly.
"I…do you have clothes for me?" George asked again hiding his face behind his long strands of hair. Fred coughed as he held out the backpack to George who didn't seem to make the commitment of reaching for the backpack. Fred's frown deepened as he put the backpack on the hospital bed.
"Do you want me to wait outside?" Fred asked with insecurity making George snort.
"I need some help putting on clothes. I only have three fingers remember, I can't do nothing." George whispered again glaring at his hand as if it was Voldemort.
"George you can plenty of things," Fred commented trying to get a smile from George, instead all he received was a glare.
"Help me get dressed." George said tiredly looking out the window wishing it could grab him and throw him as far away from this place as possible.
"Sure, no problem." Fred answered feeling a little embarrassed as he unzipped the bag and started to grab the clothes that their mother had packed. Frowning he helped George into his boxers, trying not to notice the scars that outlined the hip or the bruises that should have vanished months ago. George kept his eyes closed hoping that Fred didn't see how destroyed he was down there. He felt relieved when Fred stepped away but the relief turned to annoyance.
"I forgot how annoying underwear are." George blurted out and then kicked himself when Fred dropped the pants he was carrying, a nervous look upon his face.
"Yo...he…you didn't wear underwear." Fred asked and watched as George fidgeted slightly.
"Wasn't allowed to." George whispered looking in shame at his hospital bed. Fred shakily picked the pants up again as he tried to find something else to say. When he didn't he just sighed as tried to smile at George.
"Lift your leg," Fred ordered watching as George absently did and he slipped the pant leg on, "Okay the other." Fred started to pull the pants up, his face getting red as he pulled the jeans over George's slender hips. It took Fred two minutes to buckle the pants, damn thing didn't want to button. Yanking off the hospital gown he hissed as he looked at the damage done to George's chest. The stump on the shoulder was the most painful thing he ever saw, even worse than George losing an ear.
George watched Fred take in the scars on his torso as he bit his lip nervously, he looked so disgusted. I'm I really that disgusting? Why doesn't he look at me in my eyes again? God, I must look really pathetic. George lowered his gaze to the scar on his chest, a brand, a giant brand that covered exactly where the heart was. Hefelt overwhelmed with different emotions again as he looked at the huge letter L that burnt his skin. He was surprised when he found a hand tracing the brand; he looked up to see a mad expression on Fred's face.
"I'm sorry." George whispered because somehow that was the only word that seemed to come to his mind at the moment. George watched Fred's eyes which flashed between anger and pain. Suddenly he felt arms around him as Fred threw his arms around the skinnier twin, making George flinch. Fred tensed up before removing his arms looking sadly at his twin.
"You're sorry? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for." Fred replied his eyes still glued to the brand. It seemed so cruel to put such a degrading thing over the organ that keeps people alive.
"You seemed so angry before." George said again covering the brand with his hand making Fred flinch at the missing fingers again.
"Yes I was angry but not at you. I was angry at him for hurting you so much. I will never be angry at you." Fred replied softy, running his hands though his twin's tangled hair, getting his fingers stuck in a rat nest.
"You looked disgusted."
"Not at you." Fred responded tiredly as he grabbed the shirt that his mom packed. Very quickly he put the shirt on George, cringing as he looked at the empty arm of the shirt. George frowned as well watching as the fabric flattened together, mourning the arm that should still be there.
"I guess I have to get used to it." George whispered at his invisible arm. Fred closed his eyes as he struggled against the tears that wanted to fall down.
"Come on lets put your socks and shoes on and then we can leave." Fred said after a long minute. George nearly nodded as he tried to put a sock on one of his feet but after the tenth unsuccessful try Fred took over finishing getting George dressed while George sat there darkly looking at the wall absentmindedly.
After Fred was finished the twins stayed silent for a while each with their own thoughts. Fred looked at the clock on the wall with a sense of wonder. Then Fred smiled looking at the clock before turning to George.
"The clock at home has two more spots now." Fred smirked and George slowly raised his eyes to look at his bother again wearily.
"What?"
"Yeah, I guess when the twins were born the clock added their names, underneath Ron. It's really hysterical, you should have seen Ron, he never looked more proud." Fred responded expecting to see George smiling instead he saw George frowning.
"Twins, Ron, what is going on?" George asked and Fred raised his eyes.
"Didn't Ron tell you…he was supposed to, he said that he was going to take the twins in to see you four months ago?" Fred asked awkwardly. George shook his head still staring at him as if he was insane.
"Ron never once came to visit me." George whispered feeling hurt.
"What do you mean? He told me that he visits you every other day."
"Nope, the only people who come and see me is mom, dad, Ginny, Harry, and you." George responded, and mostly everyone but you only comes once or twice every week.
"That stupid shit, I'm sorry George. He was supposed to come, I don't know what happened." Fred said calmly and George nearly nodded, nearly, but instead frowned
"Is he mad at me?"
"I doubt it."
"Fred?" George asked putting his head on the other's shoulder. Fred frowned.
"What George?"
"I want to go home." George whispered, his breath tickling the other's neck. Fred sighed as he wrapped his arms around his brother and kissed his forehead.
"I know."
"Then let's go home." Fred whispered into George's ear as he helped his brother stand up. George's legs were shaky, even with all the therapy, but neither pointed it out.
"Watch your feet." Fred whispered to George as they walked up the three steps that led out of the ICU unit. Melissa and Mandi watched them with happiness. Fred waved goodbye to the sister nurses who wink in return. Fred kept a hand around his brother's shoulders to make sure that George wont trip and fall over, George kept his head faced down so he wouldn't have to see any pity from people. They just stepped out of the ICU ward when a nurse stopped them.
"He needs a wheelchair." The nurse told Fred as if he should already know this. Fred rolled his eyes; George closed his eyes in embarrassment.
"Why, he is walking fine." Fred said knowing that George would die of embarrassment if he had to use a wheelchair.
"Its hospital policy, anyone who had been in the ICU ward has to leave in a wheelchair." The nurse said before wishing up a wheelchair. Both Fred and George glared at the wheelchair in agony.
"He either gets in the wheelchair or he goes back to his room, your decision?" The nurse told the twins who glared at her. Solemnly Fred pointed to the wheelchair and nudged George. George shook his head begging his brother not to make him sit in such a disgusting thing. Of course Fred won, pushing George into the wheelchair; George slumped his head toward his chest and let his long hair cover his face. Still as his brother continued to roll him though the hospital his hair couldn't hide his damaged form from the public.
The public didn't waste any time in whispering to each other and asking questions as soon as they saw him. "Mama, what happened to him?" "Oh my god, that poor lad." "Damn someone was doing something stupid." That one hurt George the most, it taunted him as he continued, and the whispers wouldn't stop. "Oh my god, look at that guy." "Dude, I would kill myself if I lost a arm." "Does he also only have three fingers?" "Damn that got to suck." "I wonder what else happened to him." "He probably is some pansy who got beat up." "A weakling." "Shut up just because he lost his arm doesn't mean he is a pansy." "Oh come on, what male would let someone do that without being a pansy." George wished he had two hands so he could cover his ears with his hands, he couldn't take the gossip around him, or all the noises in general. He felt overwhelmed with the sounds of laughter and the sounds of sorrow, the sound of feet marching and the yelling of people gave him the biggest headache.
He didn't know he had tears running down his face as his brother continued to roll him on, his mind on overdrive. It was only when Fred stopped did everything come back into focus. George could feel that his face was sticky from dried tears, he could feel the headache pounding against his skull with a hammer, could hear the whispers behind him and the murmurs in front of him. He shook wishing for everything to end, he couldn't do this, he knew he was a step away from having a panic attack and he was desperately trying to stop it from happening.
George didn't even know why Fred stopped until he felt hands touching his face. Jumping in surprise he looked up to see his mom smiling at him. He shakily tried to smile but failed, he failed a lot of things lately, and perhaps will fail a lot of things later as well. Molly bent down to wrap her arms around her fifth son and he allowed it. George looked around at his brother who was standing a little in front of him and his dad who had his arms around Fred. All three of them looked exhausted to the point of fainting. How do I look?
Molly pulled away from George as she smiled at her family.
"We signed him out already so we can go home now." Molly said smiling.
"How are we getting home?" Fred asked with caution looking at his brother worriedly. The newsmen were surrounding the hospital no doubt trying to get a glance at George.
"Floo powder. The manager of the hospital is going to let us use the fireplace to go back to the burrow.
"Can he use powder?" Fred asked genuinely making George lower his head even more.
"Of course he can dear, why wouldn't he?" Molly asked and then turned to her husband having second thoughts about it, "maybe we should find another way?"
"No honey, he used floo powder a million times before I'm sure he will do fine." Arthur said uncomfortably.
"Why not apparate?" Fred asked making both the parents think.
"I don't want him apparating somewhere far away from the burrow." Molly replied making both twins stare at her.
"He could apparate just fine mom. He never made a mistake once." Fred replied before George could open his mouth.
"But he doesn't have a wand." Arthur pointed out.
"Then floo powder it is." Molly decided making Arthur nod. Fred sighed before pushing the wheelchair again.
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Harry and Draco worked in silence. Harry was cleaning up the closest in the twins' room a little bit scared as he remembered what happened to Hermione last time they were in the twins' room. Draco was making George's bed as well as dusting. The two worked silently. After the task was done, Harry and Draco stood back and admired the room from afar.
"We didn't do that bad of a job." Harry said with a smile admiring the room which they made sure was full of the twins favorite tricks.
"Yeah, I agree. I don't think Molly is going to like it very much." Draco replied looking at the room which he really believed they made too cluttered.
"Maybe we added too much tricks." Harry admitted looking at the room which didn't have an inch of space without some form of a trick.
"Yep. Should we take some down?" Draco asked hesitantly.
"Nah lets just call it a day. If they don't like it they could do it themselves." Harry replied as they walked out of the room and closed the door. The two became silent again as they walked down the stairway and headed toward the kitchen. The smell of pig immediately alerted their senses and their stomachs.
"God damn this ham." Ginny cursed and Harry and Draco shared a weak smile as they walked into the kitchen seeing Ginny glaring at the ham in the oven angrily.
"What's wrong babe?" Harry asked as he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed a little.
"It doesn't want to cook." Ginny screamed almost kicking the oven out of frustration.
"Did you make sure the oven is on?" Harry asked and as soon as those words left his mouth he regretted it immediately.
"I did that one time, Harry, one time." Ginny said again and Harry leaned over to look at the oven more closely.
"What temperature is the oven set to?" Harry asked again and Ginny sighed.
"375."
"That's your problem Ginny, the oven was supposed to be set to 425." Harry told his wife as he reset the temperature to the right one.
"Since you are so keen in helping me how about you and that albino cut some carrots and potatoes?" Ginny asked as she started to cut though some berries to make a fruit salad. Draco flipped Ginny the bird before walking over to the sink and started to stick the carrots under the sink, Harry followed suit, and Ginny smirked.
The three of them worked in silence and even without talking the room was not silent. In fact the kitchen was just an orchestra of slicing. Draco got to work on the carrots, and with a little help from Ginny and Harry, finally figured out that you have to peel the outer skin off the carrot before you began to cut it into pieces. Harry got the potatoes which were a little easier than the carrots; all he needed to do was cut the potato into slices and then put it on a pan. Ginny finished the fruit salad which was a delicious combination of melons, berries, and bananas. She was already getting started on the salad. Draco started next to work on the cucumbers, which wasn't all that hard. Harry started to work on cutting the bread and drenching the bread in homemade garlic sauce. All three would take turns checking the ham, which was finally cooking right, and was beginning to smell really delicious.
"Harry set the table please." Ginny yelled back and Harry rolled his eyes taking out his wand. Before Harry could even say the spell Ginny yanked the wand away from him.
"No spells, do it the muggle way." Ginny ordered making Harry groan.
"I don't understand why everything has to be muggle today." Harry said with annoyance as he started to pull down plates.
"We are doing this the muggle way because my brother lost his wand and we don't want to rub it in his face." Ginny hissed at Harry.
"Oh please, he is a big boy he will get over it." Draco added as he rolled his eyes. Ginny glared at him.
"Watch it Draco or you are going to lose your tongue." Ginny said and even though it sounded light and playful they all knew she was dead serious.
"I'm just saying that I'm sure he isn't that much of a pathetic person that he wouldn't want you guys to use magic." Draco added in loving the madness that pulsed though Ginny's face.
"We just want to make sure that everything is perfect for him." Ginny admitted and immediately both males felt kind of bad.
"Gin…"
"No, I want to make sure he knows how much we love him and that regardless of what that jackass did to him we still love him." Ginny spat out before looking down at the wedding ring on her fingers.
"Ginny look at me. He is going to be so amazed at everything that you have done for him. He is going to feel so loved." Harry whispered to his wife.
"He needs everything to be perfect, after everything he went though, he needs everything to be as near perfect as we can get." Ginny said before checking on the ham again.
"It will be perfect Ginny, now come on lets go see how Ron and the rugrats are doing." Harry tried but Ginny shook her head.
"No, I don't want to leave the ham and potatoes. You can check on them." Ginny whispered as she started to grab cups and silverware from the aged cabinets. Harry sighed out of pity before walking away heading toward the stairs. Draco stayed where he was feeling out of place as he watched Ginny slam the silverware on the dining room table.
"Ginny?"
"What the fuck do you want deatheater?" Ginny screamed at Draco who flinched, tears clouding up his eyes.
"Shut the fuck up, you know nothing." Draco screamed back causing Ginny to jump slightly.
"Get the fuck away from me Draco." Ginny yelled and Draco shook away the hurt.
"Yeah, of course." Draco whispered as he too ran up the stairs to see how Ron was doing. He found Harry easily, pounding on Ron's door.
"Ron, come on open up. It's me Harry." Harry yelled and then he kicked the door when Ron didn't reply.
"Goddamn it Ron, open the door right now." Harry screamed again pounding on the door. Finally the door opened to reveal Ron glaring at him.
"What, what do you want?" Ron asked loudly and then cursed when his twins woke up.
"Umm…George is supposed to be home in thirty." Harry yelled at Ron who disappeared inside his room again. Harry sighed as he followed Ron. Harry looked around the room hesitantly. There were pictures of Hermione everywhere, and he meant everywhere.
"Miss her much?" Harry asked as he watched his friend picked up Alicia and checked her diaper.
"Daddy, daddy, daddy." Alicia was whining as she grabbed his hand. Ron hugged his six month old daughter in his hands as Cedric started to cry.
"Harry help me." Ron begged as he rubbed Alicia on the back, her curly reddish brown hair tickling his hand. Harry lifted up Cedric from his crib and quickly made some funny faces at Cedric making him start laughing.
"I swear they wouldn't stop crying at all last night. I swear one of the babies will start to cry which would make the other baby start to cry. It was such a nightmare." Ron said exhaustedly.
"What's wrong Alicia? Why are you crying?" Ron asked the baby in his arms.
"Milk." Alicia whined and Cedric repeated.
"Whoa, when did they start to talk?" Draco asked from the door
"About three weeks ago. I was so happy too because now what they want when they cry." Ron said as he started down the stairs, Harry following suit. Putting Alicia in the high chair Ron went to search for some baby food. Putting Cedric in his highchair Harry stood back and stretched. Pretty soon Ron came back with some baby food as Harry and Ron fed the babies every last ounce of the baby food, yeah right! By the time they were done feeding the babies there was baby food everywhere, on the floor, on the babies' clothes, on Harry and Ron's clothes. In fact Harry wouldn't have been surprised if the babies didn't even finish half of their food. Then Ginny started to yell about the mess and Ron started to yell back and Harry started to yell and the babies started to cry again. It wasn't until Draco ran into the kitchen and said three words that calmed everyone down, "they are here."
The group immediately went mute as they heard the voices of Fred and Molly echoing though the house. Ginny smiled largely, Harry felt excitement, Draco felt uneasy, and Ron wanted to run back to his bedroom.
Molly and Arthur came in first smiling and holding each other tightly. They looked at the eager group with smiles as they hugged each of them. They waited for the twins to appear but the twins didn't appear.
"Mom where are the twins?" Ginny asked looking around them as if expecting the twins to be hiding behind her.
"They are coming. George…he just needs some time to get used to everything. They promised me that when dinner is ready they will see you all. We just want George to get used to everything first." Molly replied as she put down the backpack that she had been carrying.
"Here mom, come and sit down." Ginny immediately said pushing a chair out for her mother.
"That's nice dear but I think I would prefer to stand for right now." Molly said with a smile before walking over to the baby twins.
"Oh and how are Alicia and Cedric doing?" Molly asked pinching the babies' cheeks.
"Alicia is really grumpy right now. Cedric though is being a really good baby." Ron said tickling Cedric and making him squeal.
"That's good. I love my grandbabies so much." Molly replied before kissing Ron on his cheek.
"Mom." Ron argued wiping the pretend salvia off his face. Molly rolled her eyes at her son before looking around.
"Okay so what can I do to help?"
One hour later and everyone were sitting down to eat. It was a bit like musical chairs in a way because they were a chair short and it seemed everyone wanted to sit next to George. Of course Arthur and Fred won but still it was quite a competition. The dinner started off good, with talking about the weather and all that good stuff. George should have known that the dinner would end up a disaster when the group fell into only minimal talking, and then fall into a lot of silent times where everyone would just look at George. During those times George tried as much as possible not to look around, just stare at the plate in front of him and try to keep calm. Then as the dinner progressed and the food came out, everything went downhill for George.
It was the noise that set off the idea that a disaster was coming. Everyone started to burst out questions and statements that George couldn't follow if his life depending on it. It was like seeing food gave the group confidence to ask questions that George never wanted to answer. The noise became a frantic headache that pounded so hard against George's foreheads that George thought he a blood vessel had popped. Then when the group started cutting their food, scrapping the glass plates in the progress that made George wince, and the sounds of dead flesh being sawed in half only brought painful memories back. Of course the dinner couldn't be complete without the babies falling into a sobbing fit, squealing so high pitch that George looked around for piglets.
There were hands all over the table, grabbing the food selfishly, fighting against other hands to get the last big slice of ham. George could've sworn he heard a hand growl. Glasses hitting the table hard after someone took a drink. There were the unmistakable sounds of chewing and swallowing. There were sounds of bodies fidgeting in the chairs, feet tapping the floor, the popping of ice cubes hitting the room temperature punch. There was sounds of wax dripping off the candles, the wax itself reminding George too much of his own blood deserting him in that hellhole. The crickets outside only added to the noise as well as the ghost living in the attic. Still people were asking George questions as his head swelled from the overwhelming sensation in his head that won't stop pounding. He needs to get out of here; he needs to get to a place without any form of noise. His head was going to explode in any second. The sound of knives rubbing against forks made George flinch, it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. The sound of the babies hitting their highchair was enough to drive one crazy. The sounds of siblings arguing and parents yelling, and guests whispering…god make it stop. It's going to kill him. Make the noise go away.
No wait there was even more noise now. The sound of glass shattering on the floor and the splash of cool liquid was enough to make George whimper. There was more yelling within the group now and George couldn't hear the argument well enough to know why. The sounds of napkins being used to wipe lose traces of food was only adding to George's headache, he swears by the end of the dinner he was going to lose it. The babies were yelling now, the dinner eaters are asking George questions and everything was so jumbled together that George couldn't comprehend any of the questions that was asked. George looked around him shakily as he tried to listen to what people are asking him while trying not to listen at the same time.
"George why aren't you eating?" "George are you okay?" "George did you celebrate Christmas?" "George I know how hard it must have been for you." "George, eat your food." "George why aren't you eating?" "George, are you okay?" "George, how does it feel like to be home?" "Where you scared?" "Did you think you were going to die?" George blinked as he looked from person to person feeling lightheaded all of the sudden. He just wanted silence, how hard was that? He felt his breath becoming more rapid and he nearly fainted, he caught himself in time. Yet he was still afraid that if this went on any longer he would be lying face down on the ground with his head cracked open.
"Fred, can you ask them to stop asking me questions?" George whispered to his twin who looked at him in concern.
"Are you alright? You don't look so hot." Fred asked putting a hand on George's forehead. George jumped from the initial coldness of Fred's hand but didn't pull away.
"I'm fine," George relied moving his head away from the icy cold hands, "I just have a headache. That's all."
"Mom?" Fred tried, hoping to get their attention.
"Everyone?" Fred tried again but no one was listening to him. Frowning at his twin he shrugged. George frowned back as he used his hand to cover up his ear.
"I want to go upstairs." George whispered to Fred again looking pitifully at his twin. Fred put down his fork and frowned.
"Okay but first eat your dinner. Ginny worked hard to make this dinner." Fred said pointing to George's full plate that has been left untouched. George frowned at the food on his plate before slowly picking up a knife, which swayed in the three fingers that George had left. George begun to cut though the ham steak frowning as he got upset over the fact that it wouldn't stay still. With both hands George would have held the piece of ham down with a fork as he cut, but since he had only one hand the process was a lot harder. Every time he would pierce tough the ham the ham would scoot about a inch or two. In fact by the time he broke off a tiny piece of ham the ham was half hanging off his plate. He licked his lips as he looked at the ham, his hunger demanding him to just chew it all up. He dropped the knife and pierced the pathetic piece of ham with his fork and started to bring it to his mouth when the ham dropped. Instantly the whole table became as quiet as a graveyard, the only sound that was heard was the heart drenching cries of the babies and the singing of the crickets from the outside. George looked around the table feeling awkward with everyone staring at him; he poked the piece of ham again and with the shaky fingers started to bring the ham to his mouth again when it dropped for a second time. George frowned at the meat, feeling embarrassed tears rising like larva in an erupting volcano. He blinked it away.
Then as suddenly as everyone became mute everyone started up again. "Oh my god, why didn't we think about that before." "Do you want me to cut your food?" "Let me help you eat." "It's nothing to be ashamed of." "It's completely understandable that you would need some help." "Here son I cut your meal for you." "Gred, open your mouth." "Geez, I honestly wasn't even thinking about your problem when I was making dinner." "Open your mouth." "Here, drink some juice." "We have coke." "Somebody get him some coke." "You want to try some of the potatoes next?" "Here is your coke." "Mom stand back your smothering him." "George here, try some fruit salad next." "You want another sip of coke?" "You want another piece of ham…sure." "Mom the babies are fussy again I'm going to take them outside." "Okay honey check for garden gnomes first." "George, are you still hungry or do you want to stop?" "Mom, he needs some space, sit back down." "He's my son." "He's my brother." "He should eat more, he barely touched his plate." "He ate plenty." "He's still so skinny, Fred force him to eat more." "I'm not going to force him to eat if he doesn't want to."
George watched his family in shock as they ran around throwing more and more food on his already full plate. I just want to go to bed. God I want to go to bed. I'm going crazy here and it's the first day. Oh god…I swear if they keep this up I am going to hang myself. George groaned as his brother brought another piece of ham up to his mouth.
"Eat George."
"I'm full." George said looking at the food in disgust.
"See mom he is full." Fred spoke again, looking at his mom who was still piling food on George's plate.
"Young man, eat your food this instant." Molly lectured, waving her fingers at George who was looking very overwhelmed at the moment.
"Mom, if he is not hungry..." Ginny began but was stopped when someone kicked her gently in the shin.
"Babe, stay out of this." Harry whispered staring at the look that Molly gave Ginny.
"Honey maybe he is full." Arthur replied looking at George nicely.
"Look how skinny he is. I'm telling you he needs to eat more." Molly said again looking at George with begging eyes, "George please eat."
"I…I have to go pee." George replied and then he blemished when everyone shook their heads.
"Of course, you remember where the bathroom is?" Molly asked her son as she began cutting up his dinner.
"Sure." George replied, he really doesn't remember but he doesn't want to admit that.
"Okay, go ahead. You can eat your food when you return." Molly kindly said missing the tinkle of disbelief in George's eyes.
"Okay, thanks." George replied shakily as he stood up and sprinted away still shaking like a newborn baby. He rested against the banister on the stairs for a minute as he tried to calm himself down. God George, it's your first day home and you are already a mess. Great going, can't wait to see how long it takes before you fuck up royally. George growled at his mind before he pushed himself away from the banister and started up the stairs trying to remember where the bathroom was. Finding it he smiled as he-after the third try-opened the door and closed it behind him. He would have locked it but it would have required too much energy so he left it unlocked. His bladder was so full that it wasn't even funny and when he got to the toilet he frowned. Shit…he couldn't unbutton his pants. He really tried, twisting his three fingers in every direction. When that didn't work he tried to bloat his stomach out so he would hopefully break the button. It didn't work. He then tried to pull down the pants but the pants wouldn't slip over his hips. He whimpered as he started dancing in his spot, the urge to pee was too great. Becoming urgent he ran over to the cabinet and started looking for scissors thinking that he could just cut the jeans BUT there was no scissors. Whimpering even more he became desperate when the urge to pee became too painful. Pounding on the bathroom door hoping to get someone's attention he waited as he tried to hold it in, thinking about everything else but using the restroom. It wasn't working though. Pounding on the door even harder he whimpered as he couldn't hold it in anymore. Feeling embarrassed yet relieved he felt his bladder empty out. He felt mortified as he felt the hot liquid sprayed across his legs of his pants. Messed up in less than four minutes, that's a new record.
Somebody was opening the bathroom door and George hoped it wasn't mom or dad or Ginny or Harry and definitely not Draco. He felt embarrassed that anyone has to see that he pissed himself but if it had to be anyone he hoped it would be Fred. He was not surprised to see that it was.
"What happened?" Fred asked, looking at the wetness on George's pants with frustration.
"I couldn't get the button off." George admitted and Fred's mouth opened in a silent 'oh.'
"I'm sorry. I really am, I really tried… I just couldn't get it off. I'm sorry." George kept repeating that he was sorry making Fred roll his eyes as he walked up to the frightened man. Fred stopped when George flinched.
"I would never hurt you." Fred said in a childish voice.
"I know. I don't know why I did that, I'm so sorry." George apologized once again making Fred frown again.
"Come on we should probably get you in the bath." Fred replied sadly making George feel worse for what he did.
"Bath or shower?" Fred asked gently turning to George with the most insecure look ever.
Which one sounds manlier? I don't want Fred thinking that I am a sissy. I would really love to take a bath so I can just soak in water for a long time. Then again I never heard of Fred, Bill, Charlie, or Percy taking a bath, mostly a bath is what Ginny or mom does. Still a bath sounds like heaven right now but I don't Fred thinking am I sissy. Oh, I don't care if Fred thinks I am a pansy. God, he probably has been thinking that for years. Well…probably since Hermione blurted out my secret. George took a deep breath, "a bath."
"Okay no problem. Let me fill your tub up with water." Fred said with uncertainty still remembering the day when he learned of his brother's love for him. Fred walked up to the tub and turned the tab, testing the water until it was at an appropriate temperature. Smiling nicely at George, Fred put the plug in and waited until the water started to full up the tub. The worst part was getting the wet pants, sock, and shoes off of George who more or less tried to help. Still in only three minutes George was in the tub surrounded by bubbles and warm water that felt so relaxing to George that at the second all his trouble seemed to vanish.
Fred watched his brother relax in the tub, a smile on his face, eyes closed. Fred really wasn't sure if he liked that or not. Frowning Fred picked up George's clothes scooping them up in his hands and held the dirty clothes away from him hoping to avoid getting pee on him.
"George, I will be back." Fred replied sheepishly as he waited for a reply.
"Where you going?" George asked in a pathetic voice making Fred wonder if leaving was really appropriate at the moment.
"I need to put these clothes in the wash machine and get you some new clothes to wear. You don't want to get cleaned and then put peed on clothes back on, do you?" George said something under his breath that Fred couldn't hear, "what did you say George?"
"I said that I will never be cleaned." George admitted pushing bubbles around the branding mark so he wouldn't have to look at it anymore. Fred could feel his heart stop for a couple of minute before turning back to George.
"That bastard can never make you dirty." Fred said dropping the clothes on the floor and wrapping his arms around his wet brother. George dropped his head back on Fred's shoulder.
"You called me dirty way before that happened." George whispered and Fred shook with disgust.
"That was a long time ago and I am so sorry for acting like I did. But come on, if Hermione told you that I liked you wouldn't you act the same way?"
"Come on, if Hermione told you that I liked you wouldn't you act the same way?" Fred whispered to George as they walked to Hogsmeade.
"You said you wanted me to kill myself."
"I know." Fred replied as he saw Alicia and Angelina up ahead.
"You really like her don't you?" George asked quietly, his eyes had three different dimensions of hurt.
"I love her so much; I think I want to marry her." Fred replied happily and George stopped dead in his tracks.
"What?" George asked his heart broken, but Fred didn't reply he just ran off to be with the girls.
"Fred, come back. Fred, please don't leave me alone." George called to Fred but Fred just ignored him. Feeling at a lost at what to do George decided to head back to Hogwarts and spend the day locked up in his tower with no prince charming to break him out. Of course on his way back to the castle he had to walk into a bunch of slytherins.
"Excuse me." George said as he tried to step around them. They just blocked his path. George cursed as he tried to spot his brother just in case the slytherins were up to something. George frowned when he couldn't find Fred anywhere.
"Excuse me, you are in my way." George tried again, his patience thinning. The slytherins laughed.
"I don't think so." The leader of the slytherins said menacing and George immediately took out his wand, not to his surprise so did the slytherins.
"I don't think that I really meant it though. I just said it out of shock and surprise." Fred said quietly sitting on the toilet and watching his brother carefully.
"It hurt Fred; I can't tell you how much it hurt to hear you say that. I felt as if I had no reason to live. What kind of a twin would tell the other twin that he wished he was dead?" George asked moodily trying not to look at the stump on the end of his shoulder.
"A bad twin. I'm so sorry for treating you the way I did during that year. It was just…that year everything was just so messed up. The Quiddich Tournament was attacked by deatheaters, they never did find out how many actually died that day. Then mom and dad got worried and then something fishy was going around at school, and then Cedric. Everything was such shit that year."
"You don't have to remind me." George whispered and Fred nodded absentmindedly.
"Yeah…listen I am going to get these clothes out of here before they start to reek. So I will be back in five minutes okay?" Fred asked wanting to avoid this conversations as much as possible.
"Of course."
"Will you be okay?" Fred asked nervously.
"I will be fine."
"Okay." Fred smiled at he ran out of the room. As soon as Fred left George put his knees up to his chest and laid his head upon them. I won't be okay Fred, I will never be okay again, and I hate that about myself. Please come back soon. Please, I don't trust myself when I am alone. I'm a half-pint away from spilling all my blood and I don't think I can stop myself this time.
Fred left a crack in the door, why? Just in case, he had a suspension that if the door was shut George would try something stupid. He never seen George look so weak in his life…he was so broken, how can he be fixed? Sighing he headed for the laundry room. As he passed the kitchen he saw that everyone was still sitting down waiting for the twins to come down. Fred frowned.
"Where is George?" Molly asked in a nurturing voice. Fred looked around at everyone wondering if he should tell them or not.
"He wanted to take a bath and I thought it would be nice for him…I mean when was the last time he took a shower or a bath?" Fred said feeling stupid for asking. He knew, they knew, the whole world probably knew.
"Okay dear, well, I will put his plate in the fridge, please try and get him to eat something when he is out of his bath." Molly told Fred who nodded. Of course Molly noticed the clothes in Fred's hands and she knew why Fred was walking though the house with them, she just didn't want to discuss it in front of everyone. So Molly signaled Fred onwards as Molly and everyone else started to clean the table. Fred threw the already smelling clothes, including the shoes, into the wash machine and started it looking outside at Ron and the two babies. It was so cute to see the babies rolling over and trying to crawl as they try to catch a garden gnome who was circling them. Fred smiled at the babies. Those twins are going to okay, my twin may not be so fine. I guess I need to buy him some more pants, ones without buttons, and probably shoes without laces too. I will get them tonight when George is asleep, yep that seems like a good plan. Oh well I better get back to George before he drowns himself.
Fred stopped by his room to get some boxers and PJs for George thinking that for now the PJ bottoms are the only ones that George could use. Forcing another smile on his face he opened the bathroom door to find George with a bread of bubbles. Fred laughed and George smiled.
"That look brings me back." Fred joked and George laughed.
"Yeah, we looked horrible with beards didn't we?" George asked and Fred smiled again.
"Yeah, but that's okay, by the time we are old we weren't care about how beards look on us." Fred replied starting to frown again as he grabbed the soap and shampoo.
"Okay, let's make you feel clean." Fred replied with a smirk.
Fifteen minutes later and Fred and George were sitting in their room watching television as if it was their life savor. Fred tried to find the lightest show there is and what is lighter than South Park? Fred liked seeing the smile on George's face even if the smile was temporary. Fred was sure that the smile probably will die in less than thirty minutes but still he was smiling right? Fred looked away from the television as he stared out the window longingly. The sun was setting; the sky was a explosion of light colors that seemed to be arranged in such a way as if to say that everything was beautiful, everything will be safe. George too looked out the window, but his expression wasn't one of happiness, his was one of doomsday. To George, the sunset was a torturer, who before he starts his torture, spends some leisurely time talking threats and what was coming. George smile rotted instantly and his happiness ran and hid from the dark which was crawling at the window. George whimpered as he turned to his brother.
"Turn the lights on." George whispered and Fred frowned.
"What?" Fred asked noticing the tremble that made its way though George's body as George grabbed a pillow to his chest.
"Please turn the lights on." George whispered as the darkness seeped though the cracks of the window and is stalking its way to him.
"George…"
"It's coming, it's coming. Turn the lights on. Oh fuck it's too close, please Fred turn the lights on." George screamed as the darkness smiled at him, trying to capture George within its uncaring tomb.
"George?"
"Turn the light on, turn the light on, turn the light on." George started to scream, yelling the same things over and over again until he was hysterical. Fred watched in shock as George ran as close to the television as possible as if its glow would protect him from the icy darkness.
Fred slowly walked over to the light switch and hit the switch making warm light scare away the hissing darkness. Feeling relief George ran over to the window and closed the blinds, still shaking like a leaf.
"You almost let it in. You can't let it in." George whispered as he made sure that not even a crack of darkness could be seen from the window.
"What did I almost let in?" Fred asked with caution as he watched George stuff a spare blanket in the crack underneath the door blocking all sights of darkness from his view.
"The darkness." George whispered back as he climbed back into his bed and looked around worrisome, waiting for Lee to pop up.
"What's wrong with the darkness?" Fred asked looking up at the bright light while blinking.
"That's when Lee really has his fun or the experimental fun anyways." George responded darkly as he tried to control himself from shaking only to find that he couldn't.
"Lee can't get you here." Fred responded as he looked at the clock, only eight. Fred sighed at the clock; it was way too early for this to start, way too early.
"You don't know that. He might." George replied looking around the room, looking underneath the beds, looking in the closest. Eventually Fred had to take his hysterical brother in his arms.
"George, I won't let him take you back, you know that right? Its always me and you, I swear if he tries to take you again I am going to beat him in a bloody plop." Fred said gently before picking George up bridle style and dropping him gently on the bed before lying down next to him, holding him to him.
"Go to sleep George." Fred whispered into his ear as he rubbed his brother's back trying not to jump as his hands traveled over scars.
"I can't." George resounded and Fred laughed.
"Yes you can." Fred said again rubbing his brother's back rougher.
"No, I really can't." George responded.
"Yes you can." Fred responded before yawning.
"I can't."
"George, just go to sleep."
"I told you I cant."
"Why not?"
"I don't want to close my eyes."
So...what do you think? Review please.
OKay next chapter will be out soon, probably in one or two weeks. I want to finish this story in two months and I have about nine chapters left? I have the next three chapters done so I might be able to pull it off but I dont know.
I dont know if I can do it or not but I am going to try.
Again I am aiming for one hundred reviews by the end of this story, so please review.