Repercussions Chapter 21, a love hina fanfic

Well, time for chapter 21.

Not quite so long in coming as some of its predecessors, which is a good thing I think.

It's fair to say things are moving along (at long last). Should be about 3 chapters after this one, methinks. What on earth I'm going to do with my time thereafter…..well, I suppose I'll find out when this is finished!

Big thanks again to all those that read and reviewed, the comments and suggestions you make really do help. The number has dropped off since the pairing came to be, but I kinda expected it to be the case. Lots of Motoko fans are understandably unhappy with me, but I suppose you can't win them all. Maybe I should start another project with a different ship when this is done…..

Anyhow, time to get on with the main business.

Repercussions – Chapter 21

To Motoko's credit, she had managed to get through dinner and dessert, and then get back to her room before the inevitable took place. Now, twenty minutes later she dabbed gingerly at her perforated lip with a tissue that was already soaked, slumped on her knees in the middle of her room.

It had been far worse seeing the proof than simply knowing.

Feeling nauseous and with the headache from Hades brewing like a storm on the horizon, the young lady allowed herself to rock to one side and rest on her still unrolled futon. When she'd learnt life's lessons with Tsuruko, Motoko had found her eyes opened forcefully and completely. On one hand, it had allowed her to experience joys she'd never have thought possible. On the other, it allowed her to experience horrors previously unimaginable.

For the first time since that day, Motoko sincerely wished she'd been left blind.

"Imoutochan." The calm contralto voice interrupting her privacy was the last thing she wanted to hear.

"Yes, Oneesan?" All the same she acknowledged it, rolling to face her older sister. For a long moment the pair looked at one another, one making no attempt to conceal her feelings while the other made no comment of them.

"I wish to pass on my heartfelt sympathies." Tsuruko eventually stated, not unkindly, as she stepped towards her sister. "I know of the depth of affection you harbour for the man, I do not doubt it is of a similar magnitude to that I possess for my husband."

"…..I don't need reminding of that, Oneesan." Motoko choked, eyes tightly closed.

"All the same, I must express my sorrow. I honestly had hoped Keitaro would be the man for you to share your life with, but alas it seems this will not be possible." The older woman finished, apparently unaware of the effect reiterating the truth was having.

Gritting her teeth, it took all Motoko's will not to scream at her sister. As it was, the words were politely spoken but forcefully nonetheless. "I know. Now please leave me, Oneesan. I wish to spend the evening alone."

"Very well. But there is one more thing I must press upon you before I do go." Tsuruko paused at the door, looking down at the supine figure. "I know it is not an opportune time to mention such things, but I must insist we decide upon the school's future. Very soon."

"What?!" Her despair instantly converted to rage, Motoko almost flew upright. "How can you ask that of me at this moment?"

"I do not want to, I simply must." Her sister replied, an odd expression upon her face.

"Then why?"

"Because, Imoutochan, I sense the time is rapidly approaching."

Motoko's red-rimmed eyes widened, and focussed on Tsuruko's swollen abdomen. "You mean….."

"I cannot say precisely, such things are only for the gods to know. But time is short; I know it well as I know myself." The woman replied, a well concealed hint of anxiety just detectable to her younger sister's ears. "It is my wish that my child be born at home, as in the tradition of the Aoyama clan. Hence I must press you to consider your future now, even if doing so is to our mutual distaste." She concluded, turning to make her exit.

"Was it not you who requested time to make a decision?" Motoko spat, annoyance outweighing her surprise.

"It was, Imoutochan. But that does not mean that when I make my own decision that you have not reconsidered yours."

"My decision is made! My home is here!" The younger sister cried, nails digging into her palms. "That fact has not changed, oneesan."

"Be that as it may, I believe your future lies with the art." Tsuruko answered coldly, not looking back as she opened the door. "I suggest you consider what may lay ahead very….carefully, Imoutosan. A mistake now could have huge, possibly lifelong, repercussions." Without so much as a 'goodnight' the woman closed the door behind her firmly, leaving Motoko staring at it blankly as the words spoken filtered through her mind.

So that was that, it seemed.

Farewell Motoko Aoyama.

Hello Motoko.

Keitaro didn't consider himself a master of reading people. He'd always been able to tell when someone was about to send him skyscraping or when someone was really upset, but never much more than that. Although he'd become much more adept since Motoko's teachings began he still wasn't what you would call an expert. All the same, instincts were telling him that Mutsumi wasn't quite her usual self. The fact the brunette was an awful actor might have something to do with it – while very good at playing dead, Mutsumi's facial expressions could be read by a blind man at a masquerade. The blissful smile was, from time to time, less than blissful. When she thought he wasn't looking it occasionally vanished completely, replaced by an expression of nervous anxiety.

Hence, as he sat in his temporary bed that night, the Kanrinin resolved to find out why. It wasn't as if he would have to wait long – she would be joining him soon, which is why he was sat wide awake, swathed in well-worn bedsheets to keep the chill from his bare chest. Glancing up at the clock to see it on the brink of midnight, Keitaro relaxed back into the comfortable old sofa and propped his feet on the table. Mutsumi was keen for him to join her in her room – insisting of course that she would have the chair. While the very idea of sleeping in a girls room (with her there, no less!) sent shivers down his spine, Keitaro had to admit there were definite up-sides. The major one being with the Okinawan, as good-night (and good-morning) kisses were very pleasant. Very, very pleasant in fact. All in all, the man mused, waking up with someone you love was an excellent reason to go to sleep with them.

Keitaro blinked at the thought, before breaking out into a genuine smile. It had taken him long enough to be brave enough to admit it to himself. Hopefully it wouldn't take so long before he admitted it to her. Three little words made a huge difference, even to someone who had pledged to wait forever. A little like he had in the not-so-distant past.

Perhaps that made the difference even bigger…..

In any case, the pair had decided that traipsing off to bed together would be rubbing people's faces in it just a little. Hence the plan to wait until all was quiet, and then for her to come down and fetch him. If they were to come across anyone on the way, well, at least they were trying to avoid stepping on toes.

Being caught creeping up to the room together would look suspicious as hell, but that couldn't be helped.

The clock struck twelve, and the Kanrinin began to wonder when his room-mate was going to arrive. The thought barely had time to take root before the sound of soft footsteps, accompanied by the occasional creak of an ageing floorboard, drifted from the stairway. Think of the devil…. The man smiled as barely a moment later a shapely figure stepped into view, brushing a hand across tired mahogany eyes.

"Ara, I think Sara is still playing around with her television but otherwise I haven't heard a sound." Mutsumi murmured, sloping across the room with a petite yawn clothed by an open palm.

"She falls asleep with it still on half the time. I know because she's been living above me for a few weeks. Well, technically anyway." Keitaro finished, acknowledging that his room was still not inhabitable, or even his again yet.

"I doubt she will cause us any trouble." Nodding to herself, the pyjama-clad girl sat next to Keitaro and smiled with obvious happiness. "So, want to join me Kei? It's much more comfortable upstairs….." As the smile became a little more Kitsune and a little less Mutsumi, the man had to swallow and remind himself forcefully that he had other things on the agenda. It didn't help that the girl was ridiculously cute, clad in her silken blue pyjamas and bathed in the glow of lamplight, and while her attire left plenty to the imagination his mind was more than adept at filling in the gaps.

"Just, uh, one thing Mutsumi." The man reached under his blanket to loosen his collar, only to be reminded he didn't have one. Colouring further he fixated on his hands, trying to keep the blood from flowing to his nose. "I…..it seems like something's not right. With you, I mean." Instantly the face of the girl beside him dropped, her smile evaporating.

"I see." She sighed, lips pursed together anxiously as her eyes stopped sparkling and began to glimmer.

Keitaro's old reflexes kicked in.

"Nononono! I don't mean you're wrong or anything, not that you're right either, but….." With visible effort the man managed to stop babbling, and instead took a deep breath, focussing on what he wanted to say. "What I mean is…..I thought you'd be happy, but you're not. Not like you usually are. You look sad when you think I won't notice, and I just want to know why……" For several long seconds the girl beside him stared down at her feet, features a study in guilt. As his concern rose to boiling point, she eventually sighed and looked up at him, wide eyes fearful but determined.

"Ara, I can't hide anything from you Kei. I'm afraid I've got to come clean, I did something I'm not proud of. It involves you and…..Naru. And Mitsune too." She began, working the hem of her silk pyjamas between worried fingers and trying to ignore a faint, almost rhythmic creaking as the frigid February winds swept against the old house's walls. "It was that night a few weeks ago, the one when we held a party in honour of your birthday."

"I think I remember it." Keitaro remarked slightly dryly, drawing a half-chuckle from his companion.

"I imagine you do. Anyway, it was at the end of the night, and I was getting a little…..tipsy from the drink. I don't know why, but I started thinking about you, and Naru, and how much I hated what was going on. It was driving me over the edge, I just couldn't stand the way she treated you Kei." Mutsumi said in a quiet murmur, face drawn and pale. "I…..I decided right there and then I didn't want to see it happen any more, I couldn't. Something had to be done, and no-one else seemed prepared to step in….." The girl trailed off, her nerve failing.

"Mutsumi, I promise I won't jump to conclusions." Keitaro reassured her, softly placing a palm on her shoulder. "Come on, you can tell me."

"Ara….." Taking a deep, sighing breath Mutsumi blinked her eyes clear and continued, tone hesitant and faltering. "Well, I decided I wanted to bring things to a head, so I sort of…..set things up. I don't know, at the time I thought I was trying to push Naru into making a decision, but looking back how I thought things could have gone any other way….." Seeing the girl start to ramble, Keitaro gave the shoulder beneath his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Please." He said simply, brown eyes resting on those before him. For several ticks of the clock, the only other sound audible was the wind swirling outside.

"It was doomed from the start." Mutsumi whispered, arms crossed and hugging one another tightly. "I talked Mitsune into some dirty dancing, spun you into her waiting arms and then woke Naru so she'd see what was happening. I told myself that her possessive streak would make her pull you away, maybe even dance with you, just do something to prove she wanted you. But deep down I wonder if I knew what would really happen the second Naru saw you with Mitsune. That I was banking on her temper pushing her over the edge….." As the dark-haired girl's voice faded away, a small but distinct noise echoed through the room.

A sharp intake of breath.

Mutsumi didn't even have time to judge Keitaro's reaction before a new figure stalked into the room, fingers curled tightly into fists, honey eyes thunderous.

"You set me up?!" Naru barked, storming over to the seated pair with venomous intent.

"Naru-san!" Ignoring Keitaro's surprised yelp the furious girl stopped right in front of Mutsumi, physically trembling with poorly suppressed rage.

"Is this true? You planned to split us up?" The voice was dangerously low, oozing with intent.

"……" Mutsumi sat mutely, head bowed and mahogany eyes closed, giving Naru all the proof she needed.

"I don't believe it." She snarled, shaking her honey-haired head in disbelief. "I do. Not. Believe. It. I counted you as a friend, you snake!"

"Naru-san, calm dow-" Silencing Keitaro with a swipe of her hand, Naru seethed at the figure sat submissively before her.

"All those times you said you would support us, that you wouldn't stand in my way, they were all lies?" Laughing bitterly, the slim woman felt a hollow triumph as Mutsumi seemed to wince at her verbal barrage. "Pah, I should have known. You'd sell your soul for that ronin, so what does a friendship matter?" Glaring, Naru almost missed a barely audible word uttered by the girl at the focus of her ire. "What was that, traitor?"

"Once." Mutsumi said a little louder, still staring at her lap. "It was once, Naru-san."

"Hah, once? Once still makes you guilty, Mutsumi-san." Drunk on her own rage, Naru barely noticed a change come over the Okinawan. However, Keitaro looked on anxiously as Mutsumi's shoulders seemed to stiffen, her hands curling in on themselves and her teeth audibly grinding against one another.

"Naru-san, stop this." Ignoring the Kanrinin's plea, Naru gave a disparaging shrug and a snort.

"No. I want her to know just how nice betrayal feels….."

"It was ONCE!" The pair jumped as a raw-throated scream ripped through the room. Fearfully looking at the lady beside him, Keitaro felt his mouth go dry as Mutsumi stared up at Naru with an expression that was simply terrifying on such a placid face. "Once! I betrayed your trust just once!"

"Wha?" The younger girl took a half-step back, her own fire suddenly doused.

"One time only! Yet now I'm the guilty one!" Mutsumi yelled, dark eyes brimming with furious water. "But what about you, Naru-san? You betrayed my every single time you laid a finger on my Kei-kun! I stepped aside to let you have what I couldn't. Happiness. And you wasted it! I felt every punch you landed, shivered at each cold word casually spoken. Don't talk about betrayal to me!"

For a long moment the last syllable hung in the air, Naru and Mutsumi staring at one another with eyes ablaze.

Inevitably, it was the Okinawan that cracked.

Head sinking into her hands the girl sank back into the chair with a loud sob, messy brown hair flopping down to obscure her face. Keitaro placed a warm hand on her trembling shoulders while he looked on with utter disbelief. Glancing at Naru he could see the exact same reaction from her, all semblance of anger gone.

"Naru-san."

"…..Huh?" Naru turned her blank gaze on her one-time beloved, who was carefully stroking Mutsumi's back with his left palm.

"I think you should go to bed. We'll sort this out in the morning." He stated quietly, voice quiet and firm.

Naru didn't even argue. The bespectacled girl simply turned and left quickly as her bare feet would allow her to, cloak of leaden numbness settling firmly back in place.

He'd chosen someone else.

Her future didn't have him in it.

The girl reeled as reality struck, placing her hands to her temples as if trying to regain her balance. Hurriedly she picked up her pace, keen to get back to her room before anyone appeared to find out what all the noise was about.

Meanwhile on the sofa, Keitaro sat silently with his arm around the disconsolate figure beside him. The girl had quietened to the point where the only noise was that of sniffling, occasionally accompanied by a tiny hiccup.

The ex-ronin felt awful about sending Naru away so coolly, but he had another priority. The priority in question was currently unfolding from her shell, mussy-haired head tilting up to look at him. The moment her face came into view Keitaro felt poison flow thorough his veins, the same poison that had venomously paralysed him in the springs and then on the porch barely a day before.

How he hated seeing those brown eyes damp and empty.

"I-I'm sorry Kei. I couldn't take it any more….." Mutsumi croaked, withdrawing a tissue from her sleeve and dabbing at her cheeks. "I didn't mean to snap, but I can't say she didn't deserve it."

"It's okay." The man murmured, holding his companion tighter.

"No, no it's not. I'm such a fraud." Shaking her head, the girl chuckled bitterly. "I built everything with you on trust, played the card time and time again, all the while knowing that I'd betrayed it. I'm a hypocrite of the worst kind. Even so, I'm not worried about what Naru thinks of me – to be honest I couldn't care less." Afraid to even look up Mutsumi swallowed anxiously, her throat constricting. "But if you…..if you hate me for it….."

"No." The answer was instantaneous.

"Kei….." Taken by surprise Mutsumi peered blurrily up at her beloved.

"Look. I can't say I'm delighted, or that it was the right thing to do. But in the end…..it did what needed to be done. If you never do anything, nothing will ever change – running over the same old ground, bowing and scraping and pleading for forgiveness would never have taken me anywhere. Some things aren't meant to be, I guess. Besides, I forgave her time and again, so it'd be wrong for me not to do the same for you."

With a sigh of relief, Mutsumi allowed her body to relax, eyelids prickling as she sank into the man beside her. "Ara, Kei-kun……"

"Ohh, there is one other thing. I know that how this came to be wasn't perfect, but – " Breaking off, Keitaro placed a gentle kiss on the Okinawan's brow, smiling broadly at the girl held tightly in his grasp. "- I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything, or anyone for that matter."

For what could have been an age the pair gazed at one another, matching eyes seeking and finding confirmation. Without a spoken word the space between the two faces closed, eyes shutting as lips met one another in a gentle caress. A moment of indecision passed before, incredibly gingerly, Keitaro allowed his tongue to edge out and brush the silken surface of Mutsumi's upper lip, as if seeking permission for something he wasn't sure he wanted.

A split-second later he found himself flat on his back with a buxom figure pressing her ample body against him, her tongue hungrily caressing his own with a passion twenty years in the making. Once the shock cleared Keitaro became very keenly aware that having a beautiful woman pounce on you was a very, very nice sensation. As he began to return the gestures, the man became even more keenly aware that his body had responded in ways he was accustomed to, but not while it was in firm contact with someone else's. The sudden glint in Mutsumi's eyes suggested she was also aware of the fact, and found it very much to her liking.

"Uh…..sorry." The girl sprawled over Keitaro grinned broadly, her kiss-smudged face lighting up like a beacon.

"Oh, I'm not Kei." Allowing her hands to continue their exploration of the man's chest, Mutsumi wriggled slightly, letting out a sultry giggle when Keitaro audibly groaned beneath her. "There's plenty of time for that kind of thing later on, I'm not planning on being a mother yet. But that….." Breaking off to place another breath-robbing kiss that left Keitaro mute, the flushed girl eased back with another laugh that her throat couldn't contain. "…..that doesn't mean we can't have some fun in the meantime."

"……Ara." Keitaro gasped, speech finally returning to him. "I think I know what all those books were on about now."

"Read them all." Mutsumi replied, easing herself off her temporary mattress, much to her mattress's obvious displeasure. Displeasure which vanished as she held a hand out to him, smiling a smile which promised much. "So, care to go somewhere more…..private?"

One of the ultimate no-brainer questions. Keitaro was on his feet as if fired by catapult.

Taking the proffered hand, the Kanrinin allowed himself to be lead to the stairs, clicking off the light as he went.

"Mutsumi?" Keitaro's voice was quiet, barely above the noise of padding feet.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Mutsumi closed her eyes blissfully as she smiled, gripping the hand held in hers all the tighter.

"I know."

Naru huffed quietly as she zipped her case shut, having stripped the room of her possessions with all the haste she could muster. Returning to the Hinata-sou had seemed like a good idea to begin with, but after the last few days….Mitsune's collapse, the true reflection of the damage her temper had done, Shinobu's disgust, seeing Keitaro taken by another woman and finally being torn apart by someone she'd always considered a friend…..

Too much was too much. She had to get out.

At least she thought she did.

Taking a seat against a bare wall the young lady let out a long sigh, studying the ceiling with tired eyes. She always had run at the first sight of trouble. Sometimes it had served her well, sometimes it did more damage than at first realised. To run now would be the final act.

If she ran now, there would be no return, not even as a visiting friend or outsider. It would be over, the Hinata-sou and its residents would be dead to her. And, in all likelihood, she to them.

The girl still fully intended to leave. Leave for a long time, probably never to return as a resident. But to cut herself adrift from them all, probably for good?

There were too many fond memories scattered amongst the regrets of the last few days. Too many familiar faces to forget easily. No, if she were to leave, it had to be done properly this time, not in a frantic rush amidst the depths of the night. Peace of some shape or form had to be made, certain doors needed to be closed to allow others to open.

It was time to stop running and face up to what she'd done. Maybe, with a bit of time, she could make peace with her one-time friends.

If she was successful she might, one day, be able to make peace with herself as well.

Shinobu glared at the rice cooker as if it were the bane of her existence. It wasn't of course, in fact it was one of the most reliable and unobtrusive parts of her life at present. Doing it's job without complaint or grievance, performing it's function perfectly.

Just as it was doing now.

Emitting a steady stream of vaporised water, along with a quite contented hissing noise.

The diminutive girl nearly jumped out of her skin when the clock placed on the counter emitted an offensive buzzing noise, one perfect for announcing when, say, a pot of rice was ready, but less than ideal when it came to disturbing someone from their thoughts. Shinobu had been so far away from reality that an entire poppy harvest and a Pink Floyd album wouldn't have even brought her close to the same place. No need to ask why really.

Slamming a slightly-too-firm hand down on the noisy device and cutting off the obnoxious buzzing, the chef lifted a basket full of steaming white rice from its cooker and set it to one side, allowing it to cool while she chopped some carrots. It was a little early for breakfast, but as she was awake and hungry Six AM seemed as good a time as any. There was plenty of rice in any case, and her desire to chop things up had created a sizeable pile of not-so-neatly sliced vegetables which would doubtless come in useful. It had taken some self-control not to decimate the entire food supply of the Hinata-sou in a massive iron chef cook-off against no-one in a particular, one of her favourite ways of dealing with stress.

Stress was probably not a strong enough word. Shinobu was sure she'd found her first grey hair that morning.

"Enough." She muttered to herself, dropping the well-used knife into the sink along with the pile of dishes and bowls already residing there awaiting cleansing. Rinsing her hands, the diminutive figure placed a large variety of meat and vegetables onto a plate before adding a sizeable scoop of rice. Doubting that she would ever saw her way through the meal she'd prepared but feeling the urge to try, Shinobu put the left-over food into the fridge and shut it very firmly, deciding that anyone else who fancied breakfast this morning could learn to use the microwave. Picking up her own the girl nudged open the door with her hip, and nearly dropped what she was carrying.

"Motoko-san!" Catching her breath, the girl levelled a glare at her unwelcome visitor. "Would it really hurt you that much to knock? Or even say 'I'm here'?"

"I apologise Shinobu-san." Motoko replied steadily, voice absent of inflection. Although she really didn't want to, Shinobu had to notice her visitor was looking less than stellar. In fact, being told the woman had managed a minute of sleep in the last three days it would come as a surprise. Given what Motoko was normally like, it was definitely something worthy of comment.

"There's breakfast there if you want some." Well, it wasn't 'you look like hell warmed up', but it was Shinobu's own way of expressing concern.

"Thank you, but I will pass." Came the answer.

"Fine." Placing her dish down with a clunk, Shinobu withdrew a pair of chopsticks from one pocket and set about demolishing the food upon it. All the while wondering what on earth Motoko was doing sat mutely at the table, showing no indication of doing anything. It took approximately ten seconds for the silence to get on Shinobu's already frayed nerves. "May I ask what you're doing up at this time, Motoko-san?"

"I am not entirely sure, Shinobu-san. I have been seeking somewhere which may bring me peace of mind, but am yet to find it." The bedraggled woman replied, speaking as if in the midst of a dream. "I am praying that at some point a beam of light will illuminate the dark recesses of my mind, an awakening of godly proportions to define my selected path."

Shinobu blink-blinked, before sliding her chair back with a quiet scraping sound and vanishing into the kitchen. Perhaps a minute later she re-appeared with a plate and the inevitable steaming cup. "Eat. Drink. I would say be merry, but that would just be silly." The girl ordered, firm in the conviction that anyone who could actually say what Motoko just said really needed a drink. It wasn't sake, but a hot cup of tea cured most ills. Or made them slightly less unpleasant, at least for a while.

"If you insist." When it was clear Shinobu did, Motoko picked at her food with less than feverish intensity. The young chef could feel her head shaking in disbelief when her breakfast partner dropped several morsels onto her lap without any apparent reaction, and could hardly keep her mouth shut when Motoko managed to dip the cuff of a long white sleeve into her tea without noticing. The ex-swordsmistress was normally the definition of grace and austerity, and this morning she was just so……sloppy.

"I think you might want to watch that left arm, Motoko-san." She said quietly, attempting to make as small a deal of it as possible. The figure opposite lifted her now dripping kimono sleeve out of the liquid, and regarded it with something approaching puzzled amusement.

"Hah. To think I have sunk so far, so fast." Fingers dabbing at the brown stain, the woman shrugged her shoulders, the raven hair running over them rippling with the gesture.

"And I thought I took yesterday badly." Shinobu muttered darkly to herself, returning to her own breakfast.

While some of her skills may have slipped, Motoko's hearing was sharp as ever.

"I must admit, yesterday had a far more profound affect on me than I could have anticipated." She agreed, drawing an embarrassed flush from the figure before her. "It is not easy to accept one-sided affection as you know well. However, I fear I was placing far more than only my heart in Keitaro's unknowing hands."

"Motoko-san….." Shinobu murmured, watching the woman rubbing hands over her tired face.

"I know it is wrong of me to ask, but what would you do in my situation Shinobu-chan? I have a place awaiting me at the helm of my school, an honour afforded to few and revered by many. Yet I doubt my ability to lead them, not through lack of skill but lack of desire. Conversely, I have no clear path awaiting me here, the future I envisaged lies in ashes. Even so, for reasons I cannot fathom, the desire to stay burns within." Sighing deeply, Motoko cast her chopsticks onto the half-full plate before her. "Head or heart. One of life's eternal questions. Which would you follow?"

It took the girl the matter of a second to decide.

"Heart." Pushing her breakfast around her dish, the girl closed her violet eyes in resignation. "You can change your mind, but you can't change your heart. I wish I could, but I'm staying here for better or for worse, so I can live it all with my friends. Some things might not be ideal, and some make me wake up at five in the morning wrapped around my pillow, but I can't imagine life anywhere else." She finished, head solemnly bowed.

The silence which followed was deafening.

"…..Thank you, Shinobu-san, you haven proven to be a great help." Motoko eventually said, slipping her chair back and standing carefully. "Neither of us deserves to be in this position; it is simply great misfortune that we both have come across someone so remarkable in such circumstances. I know I can provide precious little comfort myself, but please, if I can do anything for you do not hesitate to ask." A quiet nod was the only response, but it was all the older woman was expecting. "I will now leave you in peace. Good morning, Shinobu-chan."

Shinobu kept her eyes firmly closed until the retreating footsteps had faded into silence, before taking a long breath and opening them. The first thing she took in was the unfinished state of her own breakfast – something she had little stomach left for. Next was the almost full dish which Motoko had abandoned, a sight which drew a small frown from the girl. The frown sank further as her eyes took in a few errant crumbs and grains of rice on the table, doubtless far fewer than would be on the floor below the recently vacated seat.

"I go and make her breakfast, and she leaves half of it all over the room and half of it behind." The girl grumbled, albeit with a hint of humour. Picking up the unwanted food, she strode through to the kitchen and swept what remained on the plate into the bin before dumping the plate into the already full sink.

For half a second Shinobu felt the burning desire to do the washing up, but shrugged it off. Someone else could do the tidying up for once. She, on the other hand, was going to go and have a long and leisurely bath before catching up on some sleep. Motoko didn't realise it, but she had helped the young schoolgirl in a way she hadn't expected -

She had to admit that while losing the chance to chase the man she desired was bad, having to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea was undoubtedly worse.

After their last meeting, Mitsune could have been forgiven for not expecting to see Naru again in the imminent future. Yet breakfast hadn't even arrived before her erstwhile friend, who'd dispensed of her coat and scarf in an un-Naru-like rush before taking a seat at her bedside.

The fox didn't even have time to say hello before the inevitable happened.

In the rush of frantic whispers and tears that followed, Mitsune gained an up-to-date summary of life in the Hinata-sou, which was also brutal and no-holds-barred in its honesty. She'd been surprised to find out just how hostile things had become, and even more surprised to learn that Tsuruko had arrived to apparently turn the heat up on Motoko. Surprise didn't quite cut the mustard when her friend revealed Motoko had apparently given up the sword for good.

Even so, Mitsune had surmised that her frantic friend wouldn't be nearly so frantic if that was the big news, so to speak. She'd been proven right when Naru had mentioned the name 'Keitaro' and subsequently gone quiet. So quiet in fact that the girl had felt the need to give a little verbal prompt.

"I think there's more you haven't told me, Naru-chan."

There was. Oh my, was there. The last few days came pouring forth in a torrent, each word making Mitsune's eyebrows inch a little further towards their hairline.

Shinobu's hostility? Well that was to be expected, the little home-maker had really grown teeth when it came to a certain subject.

Keitaro actually dumping Naru?! She'd never credited the guy with enough…..testosterone to do that. Wrong as it was, Mitsune couldn't help feel a guilty tingle at the thought the man may be single at long last. The tingle died an instant death as the next fact emerged.

Mutsumi and Keitaro. Well, she couldn't say she was surprised. Disappointed yes, but not surprised. The pair had always been close. It had always seemed to Mitsune that besides Naru the girl Keitaro had most interest in was the Okinawan, and while the fox had been on planet ethanol they had obviously grown even closer. What this meant for her, or Motoko for that matter, was anyone's guess.

The final chapter to the story had Mitsune checking to make sure she wasn't drunk. To think of all people, it would be Mutsumi that drove Naru off. She'd always thought the girl was made of rubber – easy to bend, impossible to break, always bounced back with a smile.

It was easy to forget that the stronger someone was, the more brittle they were when broken. Turtle-girl had proven to be the strongest of them all, standing firm amidst what could be rightly called chaos while everyone fell apart around her.

Mitsune had always suspected there was more to the girl than just a smile.

"And you know the worst thing?" Returning to the present, the grey-eyed girl looked on as her friend mumbled into a handkerchief, ignorant of curious looks from the staff nearby who were more attuned to visitors sobbing when a patient was dying, not recovering. "The worst thing is she's right. I can't argue or deny what she's saying. Like you said, I've been in my own little world, never really thinking about what I was doing….." Coughing wetly, Naru shifted her glasses to allow her to clean beneath them.

"Ah'm sorry Naru-chan. I tried ta warn ya, I really did ya know?" Mitsune sympathised honestly. "I told ya that if ya kept goin' the way ya were it'd all come crashin' down."

"Yeah, you did." Her friend acknowledged, replacing her bottle-bottom glasses and blowing her nose, emitting a snorting noise not unlike a pig foraging for truffles.

"And ya didn't listen. Honest to gawd Naru-chan, why didn't ya listen? It'd have made it all much easier if ya'd just made up and made merry. I reckon ah'd be outta hospital and we'd all be playin' happy families. Sure we might not all have gotten what we wanted, but least we were content with what we had." Seeing her words were only hammering nails even more firmly into the coffin, the grey fox fell silent with a muttered 'sorry'.

"No, you're right too. Looks like everyone has been right except me." Looking on at her friend, Mitsune wondered where the bright and vibrant Tokyo-University student had gone. One thing she knew however was what the lost little girl sat beside her needed.

"Hey Naru-chan." Glancing up, Naru saw Mitsune spread her arms wide, a shadow of her old smile reappearing. "Come here, ya big lug."

She didn't need a second invitation.

After several minutes of back rubbing (and numerous dark looks to warn nosey nurses away) the older girl released her now calmer friend, who gave her a watery smile in thanks.

"Didn't know how much I needed that." She croaked, recovering her well-worn handkerchief from her sweater sleeve and putting it to good use again. "It's not been the same without you, Kitsune-chan."

"Same here, Naru-chan." Mitsune replied, a cheerful glow colouring her pale face.

"Sorry about going off on one last time….." Naru said, gripping her sweater cuffs tightly beneath her fingers. "Things haven't been easy lately as you can see."

"Nah, don't worry 'bout it. Matter of fact, ah should be apologisin' to ya. I was makin' a mess of my life, an' decided that blamin' ya for mah own cock-ups was a good idea. Guess it's 'cause I didn't want ta blame meself." The grey fox admitted, a heavy sigh punctuating her words. "I 'spose I was kinda pissed that ya were wastin' what I couldn't have. Don't mean I was right ta do it, though."

"We're a sorry pair, aren't we?" Her friend remarked dryly, crossing her legs and propping folded arms upon them.

"Yeah." Shrugging, Mitsune flashed a toothy grin. "'Least we know it now, right?"

"Yep." Naru fiddled with her fingers for a moment, before pushing on. "But I just want you to know, I'm still planning on moving out."

"Wha? Naru-chan, ya can't mean that?" Grin gone, the bed-bound girl stared at her visitor in shock.

"I do, Mitsune-chan. It wouldn't be right for me to stay there."

Mitsune stared at Naru for a long moment, causing the girl to avert her honey-eyed gaze to her tan-coloured sweater. Try as she might, Mitsune couldn't quite fathom life in the Hinata-sou without her long-time companion. "Ah know it's kinda bad right now Naru-chan, but ain't ya over-reactin'?"

"No, my mind is made up. I need to start somewhere fresh; somewhere I don't have to worry about my food being poisoned by purple-haired teenagers." The girl half-joked.

"Yah gotta be kiddin'." Mitsune said, while understanding her friend quite clearly was not.

"Nope. I don't want to wake up every morning and see….." Naru trailed off, feeling no need to state the obvious. While the fox could understand her desire to leave, she still found herself unable to come to terms with it.

"…..Please, Naru. Ah'd be lost there without ya." She pleaded, hand reaching out towards Naru, who took it in her un-plastered grasp.

"You've got a future there Mitsune. I haven't." The student stated plainly, with a shrug. "I'll be around, it won't be goodbye forever, but I can't live there any more."

Silence fell between the pair again, until Naru checked her watch with elevated eyebrows.

"Is that the time?! I've got a meeting with my tutor this morning, and I'm already late….." Getting to her feet, the girl squeezed Mitsune's hand gently before letting it go. "I'll come and see you this evening, perhaps bring you some chocolates to put a little meat back on those curves."

"Naru…..I will see you later, won't I?" To anyone who might be listening, it was obvious Mitsune wasn't asking about visiting hours later that day.

"Yeah, of course you will." Naru replied, with enough certainty to allow her friend to relax back onto her bed slightly more comfortably than before. "Anyhow, take care. See you tonight!" As she walked away with a little more bounce in her step, the grey fox felt a tiny smile pinch at her mouth. It seemed Haruka had been right after all. While she didn't want to really think about life at the Hinata-sou without her best friend, Mitsune began to think that it was still preferable to no life at all.

In the secrecy of her room, Motoko stood staring out of the window at the dawning of a new day. On the horizon lay a hint of sun for what seemed to be the first time in months, and while the wind still disturbed the wood of the window panes it blew without the ferocity of days past.

The motionless figure watched the sky lighten with an air of anticipation, until some unseen signal seemed to spur her into action. Briskly Motoko untied the sash at her waist before slipping her scruffy, tea-stained gown from her shoulders, allowing it to form a puddle of silk on the ground as she carelessly stepped out of it. Not even wearing a smile, the young lady swept over to her wardrobe and threw it open before reaching inside. Withdrawing another silken garment, she regarded it approvingly with her olive eyes, before unfolding it and setting it carefully to one side. After rifling through her drawers for some plain underwear and donning the chosen set swiftly, Motoko returned her attention to the Kimono she had selected.

It was white, but not white like snow or paper, or even like a shirt from a washing powder commercial. It was the white of an angel's wings, a shade that shone with its own light, not merely reflect that which fell upon it. Running her fingers reverentially over the garment's surface, Motoko had to smile as they slid as if drawn across ice. It was special, something she had been granted upon coming of age, not clothing to be worn on any given day. In fact, she had kept it for one of two occasions.

One, the day of her ascension to school head, should it ever arrive.

Two, the day of her death.

As the woman known as Motoko Aoyama was to pass today, be it in a figurative or a literal sense, she felt it suited the occasion perfectly. As she picked it up the girl took a moment to marvel at how her pale, almost porcelain skin blended so well with the pure white silk. Her eyes narrowed to inspect the fine embroidery which textured its surface, elegant flowers depicted subtly in pearl-coloured thread, while her mind wandered over the possibilities she had never before considered. Drifted to one where she had chosen seppuku as her way out, to one where she had fallen so deeply into dishonour that merely swearing her soul to Keitaro had not been enough. The spilling of crimson upon pearl, the red flower blossoming across a field of white as her life flowed from her body. "Beautiful….." She breathed, gradually growing to understand why so many in the past had chosen to take the traditional path. It was horrendous, yes, but at the same time possessed a perverse beauty. Had Fuyuko, Motoko wondered, worn such a thing when she chose the path of redemption?

It almost, almost seemed like the righteous way forwards. Almost.

But it wasn't her path, and she would not consider it now. Hers lay among fields of academia and the world of the Hinata-sou, the home of her adoptive family. Alongside the man she respected and loved, even if she would never have the chance to tell him. This would be her path no matter what; her sister could remove her from the family register and name her ronin if she wished, even physically drag her back to her ancestral home and force her to teach.

She would not be tied down, never be forced to eternally abandon her present life for a life of incarceration and obligation. Her mind was made up.

Slipping into the kimono with barely a sound and tying the sash around her waist securely, Motoko swept her hair back to flow across her shoulders before assuming a kneeling position in the centre of her room, facing the closed door. And there she waited.

Waited for Tsuruko to arrive.

Well, that's all for chapter 21.

I had an interesting review from the last chapter which wondered whether I'd made my mind (re: the eventual ship) up before the fic started, and the answer is no. I wanted to follow the story and find out what would happen along the way, and had no firm choice in mind. It was when I decided against Shinobu (doing so broke my heart, btw) that I settled on Mutsumi, but for a long while Motoko and even Mitsune were being considered. I just love the big-hearted Okinawan more than any of the others (bar Shinobu) and hence the outcome.

Anyhow, chapter 22 is in production. Hope to see you again soon.

'Til next time.

Nodoka Miyazawa.