Chapter 5

"Lois!" Clark bellowed and pounded on the door to the bathroom.

"Go away!" I groaned and emptied my stomach again. I placed my arm on the edge of the toilet seat and let my head rest against the crook of my elbow while I waited for the next wave of nausea to crest over me.

"C'mon Lois, open the door."

"Please . . . just leave me alone." I croaked.

"Open the door before I break it down." Clark commanded.

"It's not locked, you idiot." I managed to whisper before I threw up again. I tried to ignore him. I felt him as he knelt beside me and pulled my hair back away from my face.

"Oh, why won't you go away? You know I don't want you to see me like this."

"Like I haven't seen you like this before."

I groaned again as I remembered that he had, in fact, held my hair the last time I took a ride down the porcelain highway—the night of Chloe and Jimmys' engagement party. "Does my humiliation have no end?"

"Stop being so melodramatic. You can't help this. You're sick, I can see that." He got up from the floor, grabbed a washcloth and went to the sink and opened the faucet.

"How can I make you understand that I am mortified?" Don't be mad at him—he cares about us. I heard the voice clearly in my head. "Oh, be quiet" I scolded under my breath.

"I didn't say anything." He stated, perplexed.

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to . . . "

"The voice?"

I nodded.

"What did it say?" He asked as he placed the washcloth on the back of my neck.

"It said not to be mad at you."

"I think I like this voice of yours."

I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed and then helped me off the floor.

"Can I get you anything? I could go get some crackers, gingerale, chicken soup?"

"Yes. All those things would be great."

"Ok, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." He kissed my forehead and left the room. I couldn't help but smile after him.

~*~*~

I was thinking about the surreal way in which my new relationship with Clark was unfolding as I vigorously brushed my teeth and tongue. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the knob turn and the door open of the outer room.

"You're back al--?"

"No, Clark isn't back yet. It's me." Mrs. Kent answered. "I told Clark I would check on you. He's very worried."

I felt my cheeks flush all over again. Suck it up Lois, You'll have to face her sooner or later. I came further into the bedroom. "Mrs. Kent, I'm so sorry about before."

"Honey, don't worry about it." She met me in the middle of the room and took my hand. "I don't want you think about it anymore. Let's pretend it didn't happen. Okay?" I nodded and let her lead me over to the chaise located below the giant picture window. "I'm just glad you finally found each other."

"Really?"

"Lois, you're like the daughter I never had. I think it's wonderful that you and Clark are dating.

Why wouldn't I be happy about that?"

"I don't know." I looked down at my hands and studied my cuticles. She covered my hand with hers, effectively pulling me out of my reverie.

"What's got you worried? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know." I thought for a long minute and then swallowed hard. Maybe it would help to talk to somebody about this. "Mrs. K., I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what sweetheart? Are you afraid Clark will hurt you?"

"No . . . not really. I' m more worried that I'll hurt him."

"Oh?"

"I mean, It's just that I'm not that girl. I'm love-her-and-leave-her –Lois. I'm not the girl that guys stick with. I'm totally not his type. And we're so different; He's milk, I'm tequila. He's Mr. Pollyanna—he always sees the good in everybody. Meanwhile, I'm Ms. Cynic. I mean, how's that gonna work? What if I ruin him?"

"Oh honey, I think maybe you're exactly what he needs."

"Ya think?" I asked, recalling the way that Ollie had told me something similar just 5 weeks earlier.

"Yes, I do." She pulled me to her and hugged me. In that instant I felt complete contentment—I felt the most intense feeling of love from Mrs. Kent wash over me and I swear I heard the little voice inside me squeal with joy.