Gibbs: Ziva? Ziva? Ziva, talk to me!
Ziva: Under control.
--
No. Not again.
"Under control."
He set his sig back in the drawer and let his heart rate come back into normal rhythm. "Damnit David…" He cursed under his breath before taking a seat at his desk. Gibbs knew it was only a matter of time before that familiar feeling of dread would return. Every day they went into the field he knew he could lose any of them. It was a reality. A reality he hated with every once of his being. But it was still a reality.
As the dread started to wane he found himself fixating on the desk to his right. One second Kate was there…one second she was gone. One shot. One kill. He was all too familiar with how quickly life could end…all too damn familiar.
He started to fidget with a few pens at his desk to distract himself and decided getting out of the bull pen was next. He entered the elevator and contemplated his next destination. As if it mattered. He switched off the power and collected his thoughts.
There was work to do. The reality of losing one of them had slapped him in the face, caught him off guard but he had to let it go…he had to find the bastard that compromised their safety. It was then his destination was clear… he switched the power on and was fully determined. The feeling of dread dissipating…at least for now…
Because after all, it was a reality.
A sad, illusive and dangerous reality.