A/N: Harry Hamster FTW!

Chapter 9 – Duck Dock

Flashback…

"Ha ha ha!" the Doctor threw back his head and roared with laughter, swaying with the force of the action. Jack's laughter had progressively gotten louder during the course of the night and was now bellowing at the average decibel level of a Concorde.

"Duck dock," Jack said, and then frowned as he listened to his own words. "Dock dunk," he tried again, and failed. "Drock donk. Donk dronk."

"Drunk Doc," Rose quietly corrected for him and he nodded enthusiastically, maybe a little too enthusiastically as he almost fell backwards off his chair. The Doctor took another hearty sip of ale, licking his lips and pushing himself up in the chair towards Jack.

"I'm not dunk!" he declared, and Rose giggled loudly at him as Jack snorted.

"Old man can't 'old 'is liq…liq…ale!" Jack was worse than the Doctor, waving his ale around in the air and consequently spilling it mostly on himself.

"Dunt call me old man Jack Harky, zat's meeeean."

But Jack wasn't paying attention to him anymore. He had spied something far more promising over the fence.

"Well hi dere pretty lady, can I buy ya a drink?" he said loudly, pulling himself out of the chair and staggering over to the fence.

"Baaa," the sheep replied, leaning down to chew on some more grass.

"Oh c'moooon, I wouldn't wanta pretty lady like yoo goin' 'ome with a dry throat now would I?"

"Baaa," the sheep answered.

Rose burst into laughter as the Doctor looked up at the fence, frowning.

"Why's zat girl Jack's talkin' to wearin' a sheep coshtume?"

"You know what? I really don't know. I think Jack's been hangin' in Wales too long."

"You're more pretty than any girl," the Doctor suddenly said, sliding a little more down in his chair. Rose promptly held him up as best she could, not wanting him to fall and whack his head and cause a medical emergency at this time in the morning. "You're der prettiesth girl I knowsh."

"Why thank you, Doctor." She smiled gently as him, pushing back some of his hair from his face. "You're a pretty boy too."

"Really?" he asked timidly. "I'm pretty?"

"Prettiest boy I know."

"Awww Roesh you're sho cute," he said with a smile, giving her a gigantic hug. Within moments she heard the gentle sound of snoring coming from over her right shoulder and she giggled, realising the Doctor had fallen asleep on her. Rose was very adept in catching and dealing with drunk friends, so she quickly pulled him back from her and raised her hand, lightly slapping his cheeks a few times as he hung like a rag doll in her grip. Within seconds his eyes flickered back open and caught sight of her, before a huge grin spread onto his face.

"Roesh!" he said, as though he was seeing her for the first time in weeks.

"Doctor!" she yelled back just as enthusiastically, getting to her feet whilst retaining her hold on him. "Can you stand?"

He sniffed, attempting to fold his arms and only succeeding on the third try. "'Courshe I can."

Gently, Rose eased her grip on him and he seemed capable enough of standing by himself. However, five seconds after she'd released him he slipped silently to the floor, giggling.

"I fell over," he stated up at her, sniggering away like it was the happiest occurrence of his life. Rose rolled her eyes and slipped her arms beneath him, pulling him onto both feet. She quickly looked around for Jack – only to find him by the band, looking ready to belt out a number. Sure enough, seconds later the band started up in an unmistakable rendition of 'Hot Stuff' by Donna Summers and Jack was singing away merrily. She rolled her eyes, deciding to leave him be as she dragged the deadweight Doctor towards the hut they now called their temporary home.


"Can you see him?" the Doctor urged Donna as they peered over the knoll between them and the bandit camp. Donna peered towards the encampment – bandits were roaming back and forth – some snoring in a drunken snooze, some fighting each other – a few bedraggled shelters assembled around the camp seemingly without regard for their position. But she could see no sign of the child.

"Probably in a tent."

"No…" the Doctor muttered as his eyes strolled over to further across the encampment, where a cage sat containing a boy. Joshua. The Doctor pointed to the cage. "He's in there."

Donna turned her head to look at him – his face was hard and unforgiving, jaw set in a truly determined expression.

"If they've hurt him…" he grated, fists visibly tightening. Donna squinted at the cage, trying to focus.

"So we charge in and grab him, right?"

The Doctor shook his head. "If we go in now they'd be on us within seconds. We're not going to be able to do much dead or captured with him."

"What do we do, then?" Donna asked anxiously, worried desperately for the boy. He gazed at her for a long moment.

"We wait."


Flashback…

"Y'know I would offer you a coffee but they haven't discovered it yet."

The Doctor nursed his painfully throbbing head as he lifted it from resting on his arms and looked up at Rose with heavy eyes.

"If Jack offers me a drink… Never, ever, ever again…" he groaned, before collapsing back onto the table.

Rose couldn't help but grin. Her indestructible alien Time Lord, with a hangover.

"Where is Jack?" the Doctor asked.

"No idea. I was too busy tryin' to stop you from takin' off your clothes."

"Thanks," he grunted, muffled by his arms.

Coincidentally seconds later, the door opened and Jack staggered in, hand against his head. He stumbled over to the table and dropped into a seat, his pose slouched and staring at the floor.

"Don't ask where I just woke up," he said simply.

"Jack, when I invited you on board the TARDIS, did I say, 'I can show you the infinite possibilities of time and space, and we can get completely pissed whilst doing it'?"

"Somethin' like that," Jack murmured tiredly.

Then came a familiar high-pitched beeping sound, and within seconds both men clamped their hands over their ears, groaning.

"Rose… Make it stop…" the Doctor begged her. She smiled, listening to locate the sound's origins before moving over to the end of the Doctor's bed where his coat was slung. She delved into the pocket, first bringing out a lolly, then a banana, then wine gums, a teddy bear, a bicycle pump, a beach towel, a banjo, a bag of hamster food and a living hamster before she finally found the thing she was looking for – the device the Doctor had used to locate the alien presence but a few weeks ago. She stared at it for a few moments, before realising she had absolutely no idea how to turn it off.

"Doctor." She prodded his shoulder. "How do I turn it off?"

He groaned again and reached out blindly for it, fumbling for a moment before it finally fell silent. There was a long pause.

"What was that about?"

"I set it to scan the surrounding area for alien tech yesterday, it must've picked up something."

"Finally! You've learnt the ways of scannin' for alien tech!" Rose exclaimed, beaming. He grunted. "And another thing – you have a hamster in your coat pocket."

"I know," he replied. "He's called Harry."


"Doctor." Donna nudged him after an hour of silence, the Time Lord instantly sitting up and turning around to look over at the bandit camp. They were starting to gather, two of them moving to the cage Joshua was in and unlocking it, grabbing the boy roughly and pulling him across the dirt to stand in front of – what they could only presume to be – the leader. Donna felt the Doctor tense again at their rough handling of the child.

The apparent leader then appeared into view - it was a large man with an old scar scored down his left cheek stretching from eye to mouth. He was filthy and completely bald, face unshaven for a few days and the clothes he wore were rags that clung desperately to his large, fat frame. He walked towards Joshua, his voice indecipherable to Donna but the Doctor could hear every word perfectly, and slowly his jaw tightened.

"They're mocking him," he grated, "telling him they've killed his parents and now he's a slave." The Doctor was visibly shaking and it was alarming to Donna, to say the least. They watched in trepidation as the leader moved forwards slowly towards the child, swung back a foot, and kicked him in the stomach.

The Doctor went berserk.

His scream was deafening. Pure rage and contempt poured out of his mouth as Donna blinked, and the Doctor was already standing in the encampment, sword at the leader's throat. It seemed as though he'd moved a distance of twenty metres in less than a second.

"Don't touch him," the Doctor hissed, fires of fury burning in his eyes. The leader's smile seemed to promptly fall off his face.

"Doctor!" Donna cried out from somewhere behind him, but he couldn't hear her. His eyes were fixed on the leader's, unmoving.

"Give me the child," the Doctor said softly.

The leader seemed to get a grip on himself, his previously horrified face morphing into one of an unpleasant smile. "And wha' do we geh in return?"

"You get to live."

The bandit leader burst out laughing; a low, menacing laugh. "Go on den," he challenged the Time Lord. "Show meh how yer gonna kill meh."

"Don't tempt me," the Doctor warned.

Suddenly Donna screamed from somewhere behind him and the Doctor turned to see two of the bandits grabbing her from behind, restraining the woman before he realised he'd taken his eyes off of the leader. There came a sharp pain from the side of his head and the next thing he knew he was on the floor, pinned down and helpless in the grip of the bandits with his head throbbing madly.

"I know 'im!" a voice burst out from above him, one of the men holding him down. "This is the Doctor!"

"Really? So it is…" the leader's voice came in a terrifying mix of intrigue, anger and delight. "We're gonna 'ave some fun tonight…"

"Just let them go!" the Doctor demanded, turning his head to Joshua and Donna. Joshua's eyes were wide, staring at the Doctor in awe whilst Donna glared at him.

The bandit leader was laughing that boisterous, deafening laugh. "Sure," he began casually, "I'll let them go… Into the cage! Hahaha!" The other bandits started to laugh around him.

Donna groaned, loudly. "Don't quit your day job, mate."

The leader didn't hesitate to stroll over to the Doctor and place his heavy boot directly on the Time Lord's neck. Donna instantly shut up, for she knew if he pressed then the Doctor's neck would break like a twig. The bandit pressed down ever so slightly – enough to issue choked-sounding breathing from the Doctor, eerie in the silence that surrounded them. He raised a hand and pointed at Donna, laughing again with his followers before lifting his foot and the Doctor visibly relaxed.

"Throw dem in der cage," he ordered, turning away from them and striding towards a tent. "While we decide what ter do wid dem."