I composed my face and explained the terrifying question slowly to my very overwhelming historian of a daughter.

"Before your dad, my life was all about… babysitting others making them happy even though I knew that it would hurt me. It was all about other people. I actually barely think of myself"

I carefully peeked at the corner of my eye at my little audience. She was calculating. She was letting the words sink in. well, obviously I have to get it over with. And so I continued….

"Then this beautiful angel was suddenly sent down to my own personal hell…" I giggled "obviously was your gorgeous dad" I winked at her bewildered and disgusted expression.

"He showed me the life I never expected to see. He gave me the love I never deserved and the most shocking and unexpected this is that… he loved me more than he wanted to kill me" she winced in those words and her eyes twitched in an unpleasant way.

I sighed

"He offered me an eternity of love and companionship. And everlasting love may be it.

My memory suddenly turned into the dark and depressing breakdown of my bleak human life.

I shuddered as the black sheet of vulnerable struggles clouded my mind.

Just the thought of it….

"But when the angel flew away and went back to the heaven where he truly belonged….. my world shook and was crashed into rubble. Like sharp spears pounding my heart. I could barely move, talk, breathe…. No one could talk to me in a coherent conversation. I was….numb. I could not feel anything. Like my nerves were detached from my brain. There was no sense. For living."

Out of nowhere, little drops of water started leaking from her melted chocolate brown eyes.

She was sobbing.

Awww!.... she didn't have to suffer with me. She's too precious to taste the bitter sadness of suffering from the 'major breakdown' of my 'once upon a time in a human life'.

I gently patted her cheek and started wiping the tears away from her angelic face. I smiled at her comfortingly.

Once she recovered, she giggled and gestured for me to move on. She gently shove my hand and placed it on the wheel.

I really didn't care that much about my driving. Apparently we vampires when it comes to driving, are really complacent and too cool to freak out about bumping into an inconsiderate driver…..

I noticed that she was actually staring patiently at me, for me to continue.

Dramatically she rested her head on the window and started thumping her finger on her lap.

I smiled and went on.

"I started to get a grip of myself. I have to rise again for Charlie. If you'd seen him freak out and call on everyone he knows to ask questions on how to tame and overly-obsessive-girlfriend who doesn't seem to let go… it was painful for me to see him like that… suffering with me. I started to blame myself. Why can't my feelings hurt without no one hurting with me?"

"So I started to give it a try. To try doing the usual routine of a normal teenage daughter."

Then my voice started to fade. Remembering the picture Jacob once described to me one by one.

I shuddered and winced again.

"It wasn't enough. Not enough to stitch the remains of my heart back to it's shape. Not enough to put some joy back into the nothingness of my life. My eyes were still blank… no color to lit up my face."

I paused smiling a bit.

"And then…"

I looked at her with overjoyed eyes.

She was puzzled, her little mouth twitched up into a perfectly executed curious face.

"And then my sun came. I actually had a term for that. It's called photosynthesis" I laughed considering my cheesy name for it.

She grimaced and laughed with no humor in it.

"Photosynthesis?... that's… new." she teased with a tiny laugh.

I chortled….. it was too funny myself.

Then I smoothed out my expression and went on.

"So it was named after the process called photosynthesis because…. Without the vitamins of the sun a plant would be rotting dead. The sun is one of the sources a plant needs to be able to sustain it's life and get a grip on something."

"Jacob was my sun and I was the rotting plant. He stitched me up holding me into place. Putting back the shattered pieces of my being. He brought back the color of my skin, the light in my eyes, and the humor on my strangled laughter." I paused and looked straight into her brown eyes. "He was my best friend. My one and only best man"

"I have to tell you girly…. I loved him. I truly did"

"But…. There was someone else… someone so far away…"

I stopped the car and turned off the ignition i9nto my favorite parking spot. I opened the car door and walked towards her door.

In a blink of an eye she was holding my hand and dragging me--- with no great force---- towards the friendly benches near the massively huge sports field. She once told me she love looking at it because she gets to picture herself being the one to cheer up the crowd with the last goal of the game. She dreams of being an overwhelming and undeniably good soccer player.

There's an obvious fact that our family can actually get what they want, especially renesmee.

Spoiled little creature.

I chuckled making sure she didn't hear it.

We sat down on a damp bench across each other.

I could almost hear the murmuring of the students around us. There were only a few students in sight. Too early I guess…

"Now where were we?" she grinned and tugged impatiently at the end of my blouse.

So impatient!... stupid impatient vampire hormones.

"I forgot… perhaps you know. You really listened didn't you" I chided

"Not much… just a lot…" she chuckled. The sound of delicate ringing bells spread through the air by her trilling laughter.

"We were in the Jacob part" she hinted with an amused smirk.

I have a conclusion and a confession at the same time….

Edward's hormones have invaded the being of my precious daughter. With the smirk, impatience and every other expression… It was Edward. I hate to say it but I think she only inherited my deep brown eyes and that's it nothing more. Dammit! Can't we like divide the number of hormones? Utterly unfair! Hmph!

I calmed my expression down and eventually it did. Then I went on where my explanation had ended.

"I knew that my angel was never gonna come back… I knew that for sure." I toyed with her hand, doing the circles my husband teased me about blushing a life ago.

"But something in me was struggling… no not struggling" I shook my head analyzing and remembering intently the moment. " it was fighting with my realization that he didn't want me that he…. Did not love me. It wanted to shout at me badly that I got it all wrong."

She gripped my hands and eyes me with a very eager and enthusiastic expression.

I laughed and continued.

"Eventually we passed through everything. The brutal catastrophe in Italy and coming back home. That's the more brutal part."

She raised her eyebrows. Skepticism present in her face.

I smirked

"He tried to talk me out of my wrong realization. Forcing every helpful thing he could think of. Just for me to believe that I was not dead, neither that I was in the world of dreams. He told me that what thought I held on to was the most absurd and ludicrous realization of all the realizations mankind had ever done ."

"He loved me…… emotionally, mentally, intellectually, even physically"

I smiled at my incoming conclusion.

So here it goes…

"Sp you see I loved both of them my sun and my angel. Well Jacob considered you father as the eclipse. He actually said that he couldn't fight with one."

"I loved them, I needed them. I wanted them both… but…."

"but there's only one you couldn't live without" she suddenly finished.

I was shocked, caught off guard. I was not expecting her to understand.

But she did……

"Exactly" I cheered "exactly the words…. How do you know?" I managed to ask after my great astonishment.

"Must be the hormones!" she teased and guffawed.

I laughed with her. First because astonishment and second because of the inside joke.

"you are an amazing little creature" I breathed

"Thanks…. But I know that already" She assumed giggling my favorite giggle.

I laughed and reached up and kissed her cheeks tenderly.

Then right on the spot the noisy bell rang and stimulated my nerves on the startled position.

When I composed my startled expression, I grabbed her hand and lead her to the entrance.

I kissed her cheeks and brushed her light curls.

"You probably should get going Ms. Historian. I'll pick you up later"

"Thank you momma, I will treasure that forever. I love you so much!" she hugged me tightly but sweetly and kissed me. (The mom and daughter kind of kiss)

"I love you too angel" I responded

"Run along now your admirers are waiting for you" I teased smirking deviously

She glared at me.

"Speed up Mrs. Cullen you don't want your angel to keen on waiting for you…. Do you?" she raised her eyebrows at me and grinned deviously responding to my devious smirk.

She laughed and kissed my cheek before skipping gracefully through the crowd.

I laughed with great humor… that's what happen when you marry an angel….

What do you get????

A cherub of a daughter.