AHHH!!! I have had no internet since the fifth! I unplug my computer to take it wireless and everything just went caput!!! I swear it drove me insane!! There was no way to get to my updates and no way to get to my reviews… By the third day I was pulling out hair!

Although for some reason people kept telling me that my hotmail instant messenger was logging itself on… I think it may be time to call the boys out for help on this one… this computer is just possessed or something.

And to make matters worse, it also meant that I had no way to get a chapter out to you guys. : (

So I'll just have to post it now… Enjoy!

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'I want a normal life
Just like a newborn child
I am a lover-hater
I am an instigator
You are an oversight
Don't try to compromise
I learn to love to hate it
I am not integrated'

Sooner or Later - Breaking Benjamin

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Throwing every prior idea and caution out the window, Missouri and Dean had opted to call for an ambulance as soon as Sam had full out seized in the middle of his power outburst. It had been enough to tell them that neither of them could handle what was happening with Sam's body, even if Missouri was getting closer to answer on how to fix his mind.

The seizer had been a shock to Dean, leaving the older man not knowing what to do for Sam, one of only a few times in his life that he hadn't had the answers when it came to his little brother. The blood and the convulsions combined had scared Dean, had taken him way past whatever other fears he had felt since Sam had started losing control.

Both the Missouri and Dean had made the choice to get Sam medical attention when the fear of a brain bleed or something worse was presented. Neither of them wanted to draw too much attention, but they also needed to know if something serious had gone wrong in the younger Winchester's mind.

Something worse than what was already wrong.

And that was just the cherry on top of everything else that had been happening. Sam full out seizing on top of everything else that had been going wrong lately. When Sam had gone limp before the ambulance had showed up, the macho Dean Winchester had been just about ready to scream- or cry.

It's a wonder I'm not rocking the corner, banging my head on the wall. Dean thought to himself, with a harsh grimace curling his lips. He scrubbed a well calloused hand over his face and sighed, squirming in the uncomfortable hospital chair.

He had been sitting there in that uncomfortable hospital chair, positioned next to Sam's bed since his brother had been transferred to the PCU six hours before. Sam had been taken away from him as soon as the ambulance had pulled into the ER, and Dean hadn't seen him for three hours after.

He had been uncomfortable in the waiting room, already frayed nerves snapping further. Missouri had waited with him for the first two of those hours, calling Bobby and trying to calm the older Winchester. Bobby had given her a good answer, telling her that he would be there within the next day, but Dean had just snapped at her, and paced away.

She had reluctantly left when the clock on the waiting room wall had clearly displayed midnight, knowing that she needed to get sleep if she was going to have any chance in figuring out how to help Sam. Even then she had only left when Dean had promised to call her if anything changed with Sam.

Since she had taken her leave, Dean had been waiting alone, the first hour in the ER and then the next six hours sitting with his little brother, watching and waiting.

Sam was pale, his features virtually bloodless, the white of his sheets and the light green hospital gown only emphasizing that point. A canula ran under his nose and hooked around his ears. A dark bruise mottled the right side of his face from where it had slammed against the coffee table in the midst of his convulsions.

His brother was also hooked to the usual monitoring systems and two IV bags, one bag filled with an anti-convulsion medication and the other filled with simple fluids. The machines beeped and there was a slight hiss of air from the canula, but there was no other sound in the room.

Nothing to tell him that Sam had going to be okay.

Dean sucked in a deep breath and set his hand down beside Sam's on the bed and sat straighter in the chair, groaning when his back and neck creaked in protest. He pushed himself up from the chair drawing his arms over his head and leaning back in an arc, suppressing a moan of pleasure as his spine cracked and muscles loosened.

"Feel good?" A hoarse voice asked from the bed.

Dean turned to him so fast he was surprised he didn't get whiplash. It took only one long stride to pull himself up to the bed, settling a heavy hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam." The name was no more than a hiss of breath, relief joining the worry that had lined his face since the whole mess with Sam's powers had began.

"What happened?" Sam asked, coughing harshly against his dry mouth and throat as he finished.

Dean didn't answer right away, going for the cup and pitcher of water on the table beside Sam's bed. Sam looked at him with grateful eyes as he handed him the cup, and sipped the water with a look of complete satisfaction lining every inch of his face.

Dean laughed before finally answering Sam's question, his expression growing more serious and concerned with every word spoken.

"You had another power burst, Sam, and this time it was bad," he took a deep breath before adding, "really bad." Sam still looked confused, not remembering anything that had happened after he had fallen asleep on the couch.

"You had a- a nightmare, or something, and when I went to wake you up, you just shot up. Next thing I know you jerk and send an umbrella into the TV, and you're falling with your hands fisted in your hair, blood running from your nose and ears." Dean's eyes took on a wild glaze as he talked and Sam pushed himself to sit higher in the bed, linking a hand around his brother's wrist.

"Sorry," Dean breathed, looking down at the strong hand clasped around his wrist. The single gesture calmed him down, giving him a link to Sam, telling him that his brother was alive and awake, healthy enough to be talking to him.

"It's okay." Simple words, with no criticism or blaming in them.

"But it wasn't." Dean stressed, pleading eyes locking with Sam's, going on before Sam could stop him. "You're eyes were rolling and you weren't breathing right, and you were all tense. Before I knew what to do, you were having a full out seizure in my arms, your head smacking back into my nose."

That explained the black eyes. Sam thought to himself, not daring to voice the thought out loud.

"God Sam, you kept convulsing, and when I tried to get you into the recovery position on the floor, you smacked your head on the table-" He cut off, looking at Sam and trying to reign in emotions that threatened to drown him.

"You were just-" he breathed and dropped his head, "there was nothing I could do." He finished, looking for all the world like he was ashamed to admit that fact. For all Sam knew he was, because Dean was his big brother, his protector, and Dean took that job seriously.

"Dean, it's okay, there was nothing you could have done." Sam squeezed Dean's wrist tighter, willing the older man to believe him. "We'll figure this out." He said simply, again willing Dean to just believe him.

"Yeah," Dean didn't look so sure of his answer, and definitely not of what Sam was saying.

"It'll be okay." I hope.

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Wow, so this chapter was probably crap, considering I just got my computer back and got the internet working today at like five, and wrote this chapter in under an hour… Yeah sorry if it is crap.

Anyway…

Take care,

DS