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This chapter is called Breathe Me by Sia

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 4- Breathe Me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me. I am small
and needy. Warm me up
And breathe me

Bella's POV

I sat on the counter top in the bathroom, watching as Edward filled the sink with warm water and lathered his face with the shaving cream. When he was ready, I passed him his razor and examined him as he pulled his skin taut, gently running the razor down his cheek. As he repeated this action again and again, I noted that he shaved in a careful measured way, his large hands holding the razor capably and firmly.

A part of me couldn't resist watching Edward's face. The concentration in his expression was so clear that I could see right through it. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced over at me, allowing a smirk to pull at his cream-filled face. I grinned back, scooting closer to him. Last night, I'd decided to stay over at his house for the night. He'd been coming to mine almost everyday so I thought we'd switch it up. His parents were both gone for work, and mine wouldn't bother to check on me due to the fact that it was a Saturday morning. They wouldn't notice that I was gone.

Edward looked at me again, this time his expression was confused. "You don't mind if I ask what you're looking at, do you?"

I smiled, scooting even closer to him. "I just like watching you shave, that's all."

He began washing th excess cream of his face, and it was then that I'd realized I was biting my lip while a tight sensation tugged at my chest. What the hell was wrong with me? I was getting turned on by his shaving. Was that even normal? It couldn't be. Honestly, who gets aroused from watching their boyfriend shave the stubble off his face?

Apparently, I did.

As Edward finished up by rubbing some after-shave balm on and turned to look at me, I tried to compose myself but I was simply too far gone by that stage. He took one look at my flushed face and dazed expression and a slow smirk appeared on his lips.

"You're blushing," he said, not even attempting to hide his amusement. "The question is why are you blushing?"

I grinned, embarrassed on my own accord. "I think you're very sexy," I whispered. I didn't really know how to be seductive, and Edward and I had only had sex that one time in his car which was about a week ago. And I wasn't scared anymore. I wanted to do it again.

Edward positioned himself in between my legs, settling his large hands on my waist. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily. His face was smooth now, the spiky pecks of hair no longer scratching at my face. I brought my fingers to his cheek and rubbed the newly shaved area. He smiled against my lips while he trailed his fingers up my thigh.

"Oh God, come on. Sister is in the room now!"

He pulled away, exhaling slowly in frustration. "Does anybody knock around here?" he asked in a whisper to no one in particular. He turned toward Alice who was leaning against the door frame. "Can I help you with something? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" he growled toward his sister.

She nodded. "As a matter of fact, I am. But then again, aren't you not supposed to have girls in your bedroom?" she joked, wiggling her eyebrows toward me. Alice and I laughed, but Edward seemed unamused. "Relax, I just wanted to let you know that I was leaving now. And I wanted to wish you good luck at your swim meet tonight because I won't be there."

Edward seemed shocked and appalled. "What? Why not?" He sounded like a child who wasn't getting his way.

Alice shrugged. "Because I have a date with Jasper," she mumbled.

I could feel the wide grin tugging at my lips. "Alice!" I practically yelled, hopping off the counter and moving toward her. Edward watched us, annoyed by the abrupt change in my mood. "Why didn't you tell me?" I thundered.

"Because it's not that big of a deal," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

My mouth popped open wide as I listened to her blow off the date as if it were nothing. But the truth was that it was the total opposite. Everyone in this town has been waiting for Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale to date since the beginning of time. The way they stared into each others eyes made it clear the way they felt toward each other. So how could she not have told me right when it happened?

"Of course it's a big deal! When did he ask you?" I asked.

Alice glanced over her shoulder at a clock sitting on Edward's night stand. The numbers read 8:57 a.m. "Bella, look, I'd love to stay and chat, but if I'm late for work again, then my boss is probably going to shoot me in the face. So I'll fill you in on all the details when I get home tonight, okay?"

I nodded. "You better." Quickly, I pulled her toward me, hugging her tightly. She laughed at my enthusiasm. I'd never been so happy in my life. You see, Alice was my best friend. Well, actually, I suppose you could say the Cullen's were my best friends because I could never forget Emmett. He treated me as if I were his little sister. When we were younger and other students at school would pick on me, I'd go to him, and he'd reassure me that he would take care of everything.

I glanced back toward Edward who was rubbing his temples with his fingertips again. "Another headache?" I asked, now alarmed. He'd been getting so many lately, and I didn't think that people were supposed to. I went to his side and rubbed his back, but he flinched away as if I'd somehow caused him pain. "Whoa," I whispered. "Edward, are you okay?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little under the weather." I raised one of my eyebrows at him, but he shook his head. "Hey, come here." Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead. "It's nothing. I'm fine so don't worry about it because that's all you do. Relax."

"Well, if I don't worry about you, then who will?" I asked, hesitantly wrapping my arms around him. They were so light that it almost felt like I wasn't touching him at all. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him again.

Edward smiled. "Why don't you leave the worrying to my parents. Sound good?" he asked. That same crooked grin that made me go weak in the knees spread across his face, diminishing any previous anxiety that I had been feeling a moment ago. I smirked back and stood on my toes, kissing the side of his cheek.

"I should probably get going before my parents scream for me to wake up and then find that I'm not in my bedroom," I told him.

He nodded. "Okay. I'll see you at my meet. You'll be there?" he asked, knowing that Alice wasn't going but wanting to make sure that I still was.

"Look for me in the front row, super star," I joked. He chuckled lightly while we walked back into his bedroom toward the window. I lifted it up and squeezed my small frame through. Edward helped me, taking my waist and hoisting my body down toward the grassy floor. When I finished climbing to the bottom, I glanced back up at Edward who was now smiling down at me. I blew a kiss to him, and like usual, he raised his hand and caught it before pressing it against his mouth.

Hurriedly, I made my ascend up toward my room, opening the window and letting myself inside. I stumbled a little, but thankfully hadn't made any noise. I'd done this so many times that it was almost second nature to me.

"Bella!"

Right on time, I thought to myself when I heard my mother calling me.

I arrived at the swim meet early today due to the fact that I promised Edward I'd be seated in the front. Swimming was a big deal at Forks High School especially since that was all we were really good at. Every year, well since Edward's been on the team, we've taken State. Students, parents, and family members all crammed in the small gymnasium, hoping for a great spot. Hence the fact why Esme and I were there an hour early.

The team was in their black warm ups while having a pep talk with the coach. Edward's zipper to his polyester warm-up was undone, revealing the smooth, toned skin of his torso. He looked deeply absorbed as if he were paying extra attention to whatever the coach was saying to them. Edward had been saying that he was nervous about this meet especially since La Push High School was their biggest competition.

Last time they'd faced them, Edward had lost by .05 seconds. The judges had to do several replays to decide who actually won, and in the end, it turned out to be Jacob Black. Jacob was also a butterfly stroker who was well-known. He and Edward used to be on the same swim team when they were younger, and even then, they couldn't stand the sight of each other. They were always competing even when they were team mates.

But tonight was crucial to Edward. If he didn't win, then Forks High School wouldn't be attending the next round of the playoffs. I could tell that he was anxious due to the way his hands brushed through his hair and the billion times I watched his tongue peak out to brush over his lips. I knew all of Edward's nervous habits like I knew my own mind. We might as well have been the same person.

Esme and I ended up getting our front row spot, but so had several other people. We tried to make room for Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, and my parents, but there wasn't much. They'd just have to be seated somewhere else. I had a wonderful bond with Esme. When I felt like I couldn't go to my mother about something, I would go straight to her. I considered Esme to be like my second mother. She had a big, kind heart full of compassion and grace.

The gymnasium was filling up quickly. Already, the first seven rows had been filled with people who were impatiently waiting for the meet to begin when really we still had about forty-five minutes. I glanced back toward Edward who was nodding his head at whatever his coach was telling him. At that moment, he looked away from him and caught my eye. The apprehension that once framed his face had now completely dissipated. He grinned once and winked like he always did. I felt my heart stutter at the simple movement.

Esme must have noticed because she nudged my shoulder and laughed. "Well, well, well. Look at that." I stared at her out of the corner of my eye and laughed when she continued speaking. "I don't think anyone can ease his tension as well as you can. He's lucky to have someone like you," she said.

I smiled but shook my head. "No," I stated. "I'm lucky to have someone like him."

She grinned and wrapped her skinny arm around my shoulder, kissing the temple of my forehead. "You know I really can't wait for the two of you to get married and have a great set of kids." I laughed at her enthusiasm and her picture-perfect image of mine and Edward's future together. She stared at me, the awe obvious in her eyes. I didn't know why she was looking at me so strangely. "Every time I see you, it makes me happier and happier that we moved here," Esme stated simply. "You're one of a kind, Isabella Swan."

I didn't know what to say to that, and I was never good at taking compliments so my actions spoke louder than words. A beat-red blush crept over my alabaster skin, comsuming the pale color. Esme giggled and shook her head. "I do have flaws, you know," I told her.

Esme nodded. "I know, and those flaws are what makes you so special to this family. Our family."

Could someones words really have such an affect on you? We were in the gymnasium, and I felt as if I were on the verge of tears. That's the thing about Esme; she could always make someone feel so good about themselves no matter how bad of a day they were having. Esme was always there to pick up anybody who had fallen apart, no matter how broken they may have been.

About a half hour later, five minutes before the races were going to start, I noticed Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, and my parents entering the gym. Carlisle caught Esme's eye and shook his head. I knew that he was a little frustrated that we hadn't saved them a seat, but there wasn't much we could have done. The place was filling up so quickly, and besides, we'd told them to come early with us but they hadn't listened.

The others were seated in the bleachers on the opposite side of the gym where it was next to impossible to see anything that was happening. I looked over at the swimmers again, watching as they removed their warm-ups, placing them neatly on their seats. Edward threw his swim cap on his head while his goggles rested just above his eyes. He approached the block, loosening up his muscles before stepping on.

It was right then that I noticed the large, purplish bruises trailing his down his spine. They looked painful and as if someone had beat him to the point where it be next to impossible to stand up. I thought back to this morning when Edward had winced when I brought my hand to his back. At first, I thought it was only because I'd startled him, but now it was clear that I'd caused him agony.

But where did the painful blemishes come from?

I was about to turn to Esme to see if she'd known anything about it when suddenly her face turned stone white as if she were holding in her breath. Her face seemed to be traumatized while her right leg began to shake violently. There were tears floating in her eyes that looked like they would fall any second now. I was going to ask her what was the matter, but my words were cut off by the loud buzzer, signaling for the swimmers to start.

My eyes ripped from Esme for a moment toward Edward who was whipping through the water at an unstoppable speed. I'd never seen him go so fast in my entire life. But the bruises and Esme? What was going on? Why was she about to cry? I didn't want to look away from Edward though, fearing that I would miss a crucial part of his intense race.

But my impulses had other ideas. I locked eyes with Esme who's bottom lip was quivering as if she were afraid. I grabbed her hand immediately. "Esme? Esme, what is it? What's wrong?" I asked, practically yelling over the cheers of the crowd.

But she didn't answer me. All she did was keep her eyes locked on Edward. "Esme!" I screamed over the fierce rumble of the audience. "Tell me what's wrong," I urged, squeezing her hand painfully tight.

Only seconds later, I heard another buzz, signaling the winner of the race. "Ladies and gentlemen! Edward Cullen has brought Forks High School another win!" the student announcer yelled into the microphone. And just like that I looked over at Edward who was hoisting himself out of the pool, a large grin etched across his face. It made me completely forget the startled face Esme wore. The gleam in his green eyes and the sparkle in his smile was enough to make me also jump for joy.

But it was only for a moment because the next thing I knew, Edward stopped throwing his hands joyfully into the air. Instead, he looked as if he were slightly dizzy and going to fall. I, too, halted my movements. He stared around the gym, clearly confused by what was happening. What occurred next was what I knew would change our lives forever.

Edward collapsed, falling back into the pool.

When I was younger, I was always told that I could never be a track star because of my clumsiness. I couldn't walk over a flat surface without managing to find something to trip over, even if it was my own feet. I'd stumble and wind up down on the ground no matter how easy it was to walk.

So if all that was true, why did I suddenly feel like a cross-country runner who was determined to win her race? I jumped up from my seat, barely noticing that Esme was also following me. Everyone in the room allowed gasps and 'Oh my God's' to escape their lips, but I ignored them. I blanked out everything that didn't have to do with Edward. The only thing I focused on was putting one foot in front of the other at a mind-blowing speed.

One of the swimmers dove into the water to retrieve Edward's limp body. He carried him as if he were a sack of potatoes before gently setting him down onto the concrete tiles on the side of the pool. People started to surround him, but I began to shove my way through, gripping their arms so hard that I was almost positive that it would leave a mark.

I knelt down beside him, Esme right next to me. I noticed that Carlisle and the others were now crowded around him as if he were some animal at the zoo. I lifted Edward's head so that it was placed on my lap. His eyes were closed shut and his body glistened with tears of water from the chlorinated pool.

Carlisle began to do a series of quick tests on him, like checking his heart rate and giving him mouth-to-mouth. He was a doctor, after all. I watched, horrified, as he began to bring his head down to his chest, listening for a heart beat. "Call 9-1-1!" he yelled to Emmett. Immediately, he obeyed, fumbling for his silver cell phone.

"What's happening?" I screamed. But nobody answered. The only thing that I could hear were the others murmuring words to each other that I couldn't make out. Carlisle commanded that I tilt Edward's head back so I did just that, placing it on an angle to allow oxygen into his lungs.

Thirteen Years Back

Esme's POV

"Alice, come on, baby. Stop splashing." I watched my three year old daughter splash her twin brother who was clearly getting annoyed with her. She continued to throw the pebbles of bath water toward Edward's direction, antagonizing him. Alice was the type of girl who would grow up to be fiesty which I knew would be a problem in the future.

It was almost next to impossible to give them a bath together. Alice would always try to get a rise out of Edward who normally was an angel in the tub. But when his sister challenged him, oh boy, did he fight back. Edward never let anyone make a fool out of him even at his toddler stage.

I reached for a wash cloth, trying to rub the dirt off Edward's back. He must have been playing in the dust, but this was next to impossible to remove. I was unsuccessful. The blemish clearly wasn't a mud stain but a bruise. "Edward, did you fall down when you were playing outside?" I asked him.

My precious green-eyed son stared up at me, the soap bubbles framing his face as if he were Santa Claus. He shook his head and went back to applying the bubbles to his face. "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Cwissmas!" he yelled, his tone deep and amusing. I had to laugh at his enthusiasm, and obviously so did Alice.

"Hey, Edward, does that hurt when I do this?" Alice asked, pressing her thumb, hard, against the bruise on her brother's spine.

Edward howled, lurched, and spilled bathwater all over me. I lifted him out of the water, passing him to Carlisle who just entered the bathroom at that exact moment. "Alice, that wasn't nice at all," I scolded. "How would you like it if Edward did that to one of your boo-boos?" I asked, reaching for a towel to get her out of the tub.

"Sorry," she apologized, bowing her head in defeat.

I shook my head. "Don't tell me. Tell your brother."

She glanced up at him, her eyes sorrowful. "Sorry, Edward."

Edward snuggled closer to his father, choosing to ignore his sister's apology. Carlisle shrugged but sat Edward on the floor, pulling his pajamas over his head. "So, I take it you had your hands full today?" Carlisle stated, laughing to himself.

I wrapped the towel tighter around Alice's small frame, rolling my eyes toward my husband. "There are no words to cover how hectic my day has been."

* * *

By the time I woke up the next morning, Carlisle had already left for work. His job had long hours that seem to always cut into the time he spent with his family. I glanced over at the clock, noticing that I overslept. More amazingly, my children hadn't woken me up. In my bathrobe, I ran downstairs to find Emmett playing on the floor with his blocks. "I eated breakfast already," he informed me. "I made some for you too, Mommy."

Sure enough, there was cereal spilled all over the table and scattered across the floor. A trail of milk trickled from the table to the refrigerator, leaving its wet mark behind. "Where's Alice and Edward?" I asked my son.

"Alice is watching cartoons, but Edward's still sleeping," Emmett said. "I tried poking him and everything, but he won't move."

My children are a natural alarm clock; the thought of Edward sleeping so late makes me remember that he's been sniffling lately, and then I wondered if that was why he was so sleepy last night. I walked up the stairs, calling his name loud. In his bedroom, he rolled toward me, swimming up from the dark to focus on my face.

"Rise and shine, sleepy head." I pulled up his shades, letting the sun spill over his blankets. I sat him up and rubbed his back. "Let's get you dressed, little man," I said, and I peeled his pajama shirt over his head. But to my surprise, trailing his back was a string of black and blue bruises.

* * *

"Anemia, right?" I asked the pediatrician. "Kids his age don't get mono, do they?"

Dr. Andrews pulled his stethoscope away from Edward's narrow chest and tugged his green shirt down. "It could be a virus. I'd like to draw some blood and run a few tests."

Now, normally, the first thing I would have done was contact Carlisle, especially considering the fact that he is indeed a doctor. But the law does say that another doctor can not operate or treat someone that he is associated with especially if that person just so happens to be your son.

Emmett, who had been playing quietly with one of the action figures, perked his head up, smiling devilishly toward Edward. "You know how they draw blood, right Edward?"

Alice beamed and raised her hand in the air as if she knew the correct answer. "Crayons!"

Emmett shook his head. "Uh-uh," he disagreed. "With needles. Great big long ones that they stick in you like shots and-"

I popped my eyes wide, cutting off Emmett's statement. "Stop it," I warned him.

Edward's emerald green orbs sought mine out. "Shots, mommy?" he shrieked. "Ouch?"

My son, who trusted me to tell him that it was safe to cross the street, to cut his meat into tiny pieces, and to protect him from all sorts of things like large dogs and darkness and loud firecrackers, stared at me with great expectation. "Only a teeny-tiny one," I promised, hoping it was true.

When the pediatric nurse came in with her tray, her syringe, her vials, and her rubber torniquet, Edward started to scream. I took a slow deep breath. I knew that Edward hated needles. He didn't like anything that would pinch so it was obvious that this would be slightly difficult for both the Edward and the nurse. "Edward, hey. Look at me." His cries bubbled down to small hiccups. "It's just going to be a small pinch, okay?" I tried to reassure him.

"Liar," Emmett whispered.

Edward clearly didn't hear him so he relaxed a bit. The nurse laid him down on the examination table and asked me to hold down his shoulders. I watched the needle break the white skin of his arm; I heard the sudden scream, but there wasn't any blood flowing. "Sorry, sugar," the nurse said, "I'm going to have to try again." She removed the needled and pierced Edward's skin again, causing him to howl even louder.

He struggled in earnest through the first and second vials. By the third, he had gone completely limp. I wasn't sure which was worse.

* * *

We waited for the results of the blood test patiently. Emmett was on his belly on the waiting room rug, picking God knows what out of the carpet while Alice played with the dolls in the toy chest of the pediatric ward. Normally, I'd be scolding them due to the fact that we were in a facility where sick children brought in all sorts of germs, but right now was different. I was too anxious to receive Edward's results.

All I wanted was for the pediatrician to come out and tell me that I needed to take Edward home and make him drink lots of orange juice. But it seemed to take forever. And it was another hour later before Dr. Andrews summoned us into his office again. I sat in the chair across from him with Edward resting comfortably on one knee and Alice on the other. Emmett placed himself in the chair next to mine, swinging his legs back and forth.

"Edward's tests were a little problematic," he said. "Specifically his white cell count. It's much lower than normal."

"Well, what does that mean?" I asked. Sure, my husband was a doctor, but that didn't mean that I actually payed attention to anything he said. But at this moment, I mentally cursed myself for not ever bothering to ask Carlisle what it was that white blood cells actually do.

Dr. Andrews pushed his thick-rimmed glasses higher on his nose before speaking again. "He may have some sort of autoimmune deficiency. Or it might just be a lab error." He leaned forward and mussed Edward's hair. Edward smiled at the doctor. "I think, just to be on the safe side, I'm going to send you up to a hematologist at the hospital, to repeat the test."

I was thinking: You have got to be kidding. But instead, I watched my hand reach for a piece of paper that Dr. Andrews offered me. Not a prescription, as I'd hoped, but a name. Juneau Hospital, Hermatology/Oncology. That was where Carlisle worked. But then my eyes zoned in on only one specific word.

"Oncology?" I shook my head. "Dr. Andrews, that's...that's cancer." I waited for him to assure me that it was only part of the physician's title, to explain that the blood lab and the cancer ward simply share a physical location, and nothing more.

But he didn't.

Present Time

Bella's POV

Ever since I was a little girl, I've hated waiting rooms. Everything about them gives me a bad vibe as if you're only here due to the fact that something has gone wrong. And I guess that's a pretty accurate description. Especially for what's happening right now. I sat with the Cullen family and my own, patiently waiting for someone, anyone, to let us know exactly what was going on.

It seemed as though Esme had turned to stone. She looked pale white, whiter than usual, that is, and her eyes didn't hold the igniting compassion they once had. Instead, now they were a dark abysmal hole that held no meaning what so ever. In fact, now that I really noticed, that was how all the Cullen's appeared to be. Alice and Jasper had to cut their date short because Emmett had phoned her.

My parents sat on one of the couches, bouncing their knees in anticipation just like the rest of us. But then I noticed one of the doctors heading our way. He smiled politely and motioned for Esme and Carlisle. My feet began to move on their own accord, following both Carlisle and Esme as if I, too, were his family. In actuality, I was.

"Edward is awake, and now we're just waiting on some test results that should be back any moment from the lab." The doctor glanced at me and then back toward Esme and Carlisle. "If you don't mind, I'd like to speak to the two of you in private before you see him."

Esme nodded. "Okay," was all she said. Carlisle rubbed his hand reassuringly down Esme's arm.

"What about me?" I called out when they started to walk away toward the doctor's office. I felt my mother's hand grip my forearm lightly as if to tug me back to where she and the others were sitting. I shook my head and shrugged her off, trying to get the doctor's attention. "Can...can I see him now?"

The doctor looked toward Esme as if asking her permission. She nodded her head once, and the doctor said it would be okay as long as it was only one at a time. Naturally, I was grateful that they allowed me to be the first to see him. I didn't waste any time standing around. I rushed toward his room with fierce determination.

A/N: I know that some things may not be clear, but I promise I'll explain it all in later chapters.

I'm also pretty positive that this question is going to come up: When Esme is having that flashback, does she live in Forks yet? And the answer is NO. Please remember that they didn't move to Forks until Edward was four years old, almost five, and in the flashback, he is three years old. Also, Alice is his twin sister while Emmett is about a year older than the two of them.