Moon SAYS: The Titles (Masks, chapter 1, to be continued) are supposed to be slashed through and since i don't know how to do that one here....it don't work.

8 pages; 6041 words; ENJOY!

Masks

Chapter 1: The Rain

It's raining…just like before. Every time it rains I remember her. With that thought I remember other things happened while it rained…important things. Why did not I realize this until now? Don't get me wrong, I love the rain. It shows us just how life really is. Dark and dreary but at the same time you realize that the sky is crying for you, crying because what is happening is sad. My tears they have dried out—there are no more. The rain is refreshing. But back to the statement: important things happen while it rains.

I believe it was sometime during my final fight with Sasuke—otherwise known as duck butt head—that it started to rain. Neither of us realized till it was over, we were too focused on the other. I wish he had pissed me off really bad. If he did those words would have left my mouth instead of the usual bastard.

Oh are you surprised that I wasn't really pissed off at him? I was never really angry at him—no one has had that pleasure of getting me that ticked off. There was not a time where I had those feelings toward him…maybe a few that had real annoyance toward that pink bitch, but toward Sasuke? No. If anything I respected the bastard. He was able to keep his true intentions, feelings, and sometimes his thoughts hidden and tucked away. But I found out doing our little battle that when he left me, I was disappointed at him for letting them out. In a way he let me down.

He was being stupid if he ever and I mean ever thought I was weaker than him. I had been training in the Ninja Arts since I was five years old. Who did he think he was when he jumped in front of Haku's senbon needles? That was one of those moments that I wished that I wasn't playing around—that I wasn't pretending that I was stupid, loud mouth Naruto. I felt horror—it wasn't the first time I felt that emotion, but it was the first for the reason I felt it. It wasn't because he just almost died to save me. When someone who traveled around with Baa-chan trained you, you kind of pick up on a few Medic Ninja techniques. And you tend to know when you are holding someone whether or not they are in fact dying at that moment in time.

That was how I knew he was almost dead. That was how I knew that he was still conscious, and he could hear everything that was said, but at the same time he couldn't see anything. He was close to blacking out, so he probably thought what was being said was his imagination.

That whole battle on the bridge made me mad at myself. It was then that I knew that I was tired of what I was doing. I hated acting that I was stupid, I'm pretty damn smart if I say so myself. I am not hyper; please those are the sad excuse of a Ninja that die first. If it wasn't for my great skills I would have been dead long before, especially with that orange shit I was wearing…okay I like orange but please, not that much. But most of all what slowly killed me inside was the happiness Naruto had to display. It was so fucking sickening! It was all a lie, and I was slowly dying inside because of it. I hated myself and I still do for that matter. I will always hate myself like that—until I drop this glamour of mine. If it wasn't for Kyuubi-chan, I don't know what I would have done. It was mainly because of him my deception skills are so good.

Didn't Kakashi sensei always tell me my biggest problem was looking underneath the underneath? What the hell?! I lived that rule of the Ninja; my freaking life was built around that Ninja Rule. There was no one out there that knew that better then I.

The Fox living inside of me helped me with the deception. I love him, I really do, but he is one giant pervert! It doesn't help that he knows my secret about being a girl. But I wouldn't have been able to last this long in all my sneakiness, if he wasn't there with me all the way. With him giving me little hints here and there, telling me little facts able my surroundings, little Jutsu training there and here. You get the picture I am sure.

But like every time I decide to sit and think and brood—yes I was brooding, but just a little; it wasn't as much as Sasuke did—my musings get stopped and interrupted. It all started when I heard a tap. I knew instantly that I was someone knocking on my door, and it was Sakura.

How do I know that you ask? I checked the chakra signatures that were standing outside my door and chuckled darkly. All three of them are visiting me eh? I thought as I waved the hand that had chakra strings connected to my front door.

I didn't even spare them a glance as I turned my attention back to the window and more importantly the rain.

I stopped caring long ago about the 'mess' of my apartment. It was part of my cover after all. Tina once told me my dad was a slob—so what else was I to do when I acted like his son, one who also just happened to look just like him? I got over hating the fact that everyone thought I was a guy. I even stopped pretending that I liked Sakura—that was an added bonus, but thank KAMI!

It was hard to keep on saying that I liked that pink headed bitch who was a self proclaimed Sasuke fan girl. One thing I hated were girls that were loud, obnoxious, and didn't know when to shut up! Also ones that were so stupid and so stuck up their crushes' ass, that they don't know anything and always follow them blindly not to mention lots of other things that made me hate them. I hated fan girls. Which was the first thing me and Sasuke bonded over, he knew that I never liked Sakura. He did ask me once why I acted like I liked her when Hinata was the totally opposite then her and was practically worshiping me. I told him that I wasn't interested in a relationship with any girls. He then asked me if I was gay. That made me think he was, by the look in his eyes…but when I looked in his mind—a gift from Tina—he was just curious about me. I told him I wasn't interested in anyone: boy or girl. For a day or so after…I thought he knew I looked into his mind. But he never said anything, and he was the kind to after all.

I think I told him that after the trip to the Land of Waves. My first thought when I saw that look in his eyes, was he realized that I was indeed a girl—because he must have heard what Haku said—either that or he was gay himself. Which would make sense, I mean if he liked me he would think himself gay because he liked me…but I'm a girl which would make him straight if he liked me. I shook my head to get those stupid thoughts out of my head. That was getting too complicated to think about, all those …never mind.

I'm glad I shook my head, because of that little shake my guests left. I think I heard something about a meeting I had to go to. I think they want to surprise me. My birthday is soon after all, so is Tina's….oh well. Back to my musings and brooding. Yes, once again I admit I was brooding…a little trick I picked up from old, moody, emo boy.

It was really hard to keep on saying I liked Sakura. It made me glad sometimes that Sasuke knew I didn't like her. But he would ask every now and then why I still acted like I did. Was it because I was hiding I was gay, but after I told him a few things he never asked me again, and he walked away blushing—that made me smirk. He saw that smirk and said to me: "For the first time, I feel like I have seen something real."

After that I realized that he watched for things—he knew I was hiding something.

I sighed, the things I go through to protect myself. It wasn't that I hated Sakura. I mean: I'm a girl; she's a girl…not really going to work out. I am so glad that ever since I came back from my training with Ero-Sennin I don't have to pretend that I am so in love with her. We had the excuse: we grew up. But damn it! If I didn't know any better I would say she likes me now. Please Kami, for once love me and don't let that happen.

I will admit this, but only to you. After a while of pretending that I was a guy it made me start thinking I was one. As a girl I am attracted to guys. So once I hit puberty it got kind of weird. I was a 'guy' who liked Sakura—but in reality I was a girl who liked guys. To be honest, I don't think I liked any of the guys around me like that…maybe Gaara but now he is like a brother to me. I will admit that if he wasn't with whom he was with—now—then we totally have gotten together, but now…he is a brother.

I mean seriously—back on topic guys—what would you think? Naruto is a guy, and he is checking out other guys…dum dum dum he is so GAY!

Okay I will admit (again) a few knew I was a girl. Shika obviously—do you know how smart he is? I knew him less than one week before he cornered me about it. Since he knew who I really was—a girl—we started hanging out. But he was in for a shock of a lifetime. He had figured with all his smartness, that I was just like my guy side—loud mouth etc—but he was totally wrong. Once I got over my own shock I started letting him see the real me. He almost changed his opinion of girls—almost. He still thinks they are all like Ino, Sakura, and Temari. That didn't include me though…or maybe girls who pretend to be guys.

Kiba was number two. But he is one word of warning, he is a D.O.G! Of course he would notice how different my basic scent is and how different it is from guys. I think Tina forgot about that one…or knowing her she did it on purpose. It didn't matter anyway, what was done was done. Those two are my sole confidents. It looks like we are all friends, but in reality my gender thing made us the best of friends.

What about Hinata, you ask? Yes, I knew she had a crush and a hero like worship of me, but I did not do anything to encourage it. I also did nothing to discourage it. I know I'm a bitch. It was great for my 'I'm a guy act,' A guy has a girl liking him—he is a guy! Like with me liking Sakura…I had to be a guy. But when Kiba found out Hinata liked me…he really let me have it. He told me to tell her I was really a girl. He told me to because only I could tell her my secret. I had made Kiba swear to me in blood and chakra that he wouldn't tell anyone, same as Shika—he said it was troublesome the whole way through. I told him if I was going to stay with my image of a guy, and be oblivious at the same time., I needed to have someone like me that I didn't know about.

He accepted that, I told him once I am either eighteen or twenty my being a guy would disappear and I would become a girl again. By then he would have won Hinata over. It's totally true, because Kiba and Hinata are now dating. I also think they are engaged...I think. I had doubts since I knew Shino kind of liked her, but when I found out it was in a sister-brother way, I decided to hook him up with someone. Turns out the one I had chosen and hooked him up with was the one his parents told him he was engaged to. Was I good or what?

Anyway I am so getting off track, I blame Tina…she rubbed off on me. So even though they were the only ones that knew I really didn't tell them anything. We all knew that if something happened and I needed to talk to them they were there. That knowledge more than anything helped me. With Shika we watched clouds, and every once in a while tried to outdo the other with 'what is troublesome game.' I always won when I played my 'girl is a guy' card. Kiba and I played jokes on people.

After those two I told no one anything. They taught me to keep everything to myself, and I still have. That was why I never really confided in Kiba and Shika. They knew one of my secrets, but I because I didn't want to get hurt, I didn't tell them anymore. There were only two that had rights to my secrets and both of them were gone, but I knew they would be back for me. Ero-Sennin knew my secrets too, but since he was like the father I never had, it was okay.

Now I know you are all wondering about my seal. Two times, I think, it almost broke. Okay, never mind it was three. The first one was during the Battle on the Bridge after Sasuke 'died.' That stupid Fox released the barrier I had on my emotions and they started clouding my mind. I couldn't think and almost killed Haku in the process. That was the reason I thought Sasuke knew my secret. He couldn't see, but he could hear. Haku almost ruined everything. That-guy-who-looked-like-a-girl asked me: "why are you wearing such a henge?' By the time he finished that sentence I was gone. The Fox had taken over.

The second time was after Sasuke shoved a Chidori in my chest. All the pain I had been holding back for years plus Sasuke's betrayal almost broke me. Sasuke caught a glimpse of who I really was then. I had thought him of all people would know my pain. He knew the pain of being alone; he knew the pain of having a family and then have it ripped away. Even though Onee-chan and Tina weren't really blood family, they felt like real family, especially after Tina told me she could have been my mother. He knew much it hurt to hide away, and so did I. Our reasons for hiding and what we were hiding were two different things though.

Ero-Sennin knew everything, I had told him that much. He had asked me halfway through our training, if I was in love with Sasuke. I wanted to say no, that I wasn't in love with him; he was like a brother to me. But after all this time thinking about it I wasn't sure. He was my best friend; if I had decided to love him and stay with him…I could see marrying him and spending the rest of my life with him. But I wasn't going to be delusional. To do that I would have to trust him, to love him I would have to trust him with everything inside of me. So that is what I told Pervy Sage. I couldn't love him if I didn't trust him. He then asked me if all the sneaky and lying had affected me deep inside. His words made me think: when did I start lying to myself? That is, if I really was lying to myself.

I didn't understand then, and I still don't. But I guess that doesn't matter does it? It's not like Sasuke is ever coming back, and if he did I would be gone.

The third time my seal almost broke was when I was fighting Orochimaru or Tina likes to call him Snakey. I transformed into the Kyuubi after four tails were released. After three my mask and the seal were slipping. Yes, Sasuke was a sore subject with me. I wasn't mad at the insane Snake, but at Sasuke. I didn't want to hear that bastard's name. And next time I see him—he will die.

But now I have three wounds that threaten this façade I wear and now am. First was when they left me. It feels like so long ago too. It was like another life really. The second was Sasuke's betrayal. He was like family to me—my family for pain—he was my comrade in pain. And Jiraiya's dead was ranked second in how much pain it caused. Those two leaving was got first rankranked first, and Sasuke's betrayal was ranked third, a father's death is more important supposed friend's betrayal.

Jiraiya's death almost killed me. He was like my father. Since my own father—the Yodamaine—was dead, he was all I had. He knew I was girl from the beginning, how could he not? My father was his student, and if I remember correctly I was named after the character in his book. He would have raised me if Tina hadn't got to me first.

But somehow I am glad that Tina got to me first, if she didn't I wouldn't be the way I am now. I kind of like being cynical and pessimist.

I stopped my thoughts as I chucked once more. I thought back to Tina and how she found me. I heard the splatter of the rain against my window—it was getting louder found me on a rainy day like this. She was the first I found that knew my pain, shared it. Ever hear of a saying: There is always something worse? Or Or: someone has it worse then you? Well I found that person: it was Tina.

My hand left my side for the first time since—hours ago—I moved it to open the door for those three idiots that thought they knew me.. They didn't know how further from the truth they really were. And I wasn't going to tell them anytime soon. It I trailed up the window., I could feel the rain crashing and landing rolling downagainst my window and I felt it hit my hand as it the new drops slide down the old .

The rain had so many bad, horrible memories for me. But don't get me wrong. I will always love the rain. It displayed life so well. My life really, my life was a constant downpour, but ironically I only felt at ease when it rained. But besides the bad memories the rain brought me, it also brought me someone I love so deeply. I would have died if I hadn't met. The first person who knew the pain I hid inside, the pain I went through, the pain I would go through. The first one who knew w ho I really was and am. That someone was my Guardian Angel or a demon with an Angel's face—that fits better. She was Libitina, a Demon Queen, and my Demon . Guardian.

~:Flashback:~

It was raining…again. Why does it always have to rain? It rained that night that everyone talks about. The night five years ago, the one I get beat for. I don't even know what happened that night. Why does it involve me? Why do they hurt me? I ask those questions over and over, but I get no answers. Do I want answers?

They must have a reason for beating me. I tried asking that once while they beat me, but they just laughed at me, called me a monster and beat me harder. I don't understand why would they hurt someone who can't defend themselves? I am but a child…so what could I have done for them to hate and hurt me so bad?

I sighed; it wouldn't help to think like this, it wasn't like I was getting answers. I was just getting more depressed. It just made the whole inside my chest bigger. Sometimes when I thought about that whole it felt like a big black hole…one that threatened to consume me when I thought of it.

I looked out the window, the rain always made me at ease, even if someone was beating me. I saw a flash of light; it was a dark light, but still a light. I blinked to make the colors go away, and once I had my sight back without the spots of colors, I saw a small form. It was a child, and frorm the sound of it, the kid was crying.

I was not like the other kids; I would not leave one out there to cry by themselvesall alone, especially since it was raining. Karma…what goes around comes around—even though one of the beaters told me that, I still wanted to believe it was true. If that was true then if I helped someone, wouldn't I be helped too? I needed help.

I hesitated for a second, if I went out there I could be caught…by one of the beaters. They would find me and hurt me. What about the crying child? Wouldn't they be hurt too? I could handle the beatings, it wasn't like I hadn't had the before, but this other kid. I never wanted another to feel like I do. Never!

I bBecause of my stupid chivalrous act I ran out of my apartment heading for the crying child. When I go close, I tried to go slowly as not to startle them. I saw the dark outline of hair…it was long, so this was girl. I approached slowly and when I was next to the girl I sat down with her—forgetting that the ground was wet.

She had her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her head was on top of those her arms. We just sat there for a few minutes, her crying softly, with me just starting at her. That was until I said something. I knew I had to be careful of what I saidsaid;, I was afraid it would scare her off. I didn't think, I just asked.

"Do you like the rain?" I asked one simple question, speaking kindly and tenderly like she was my younger sister. Her cries stopped instantly, it made me think: was she even crying at all? But I couldn't think about that, I was just glad that she had stopped crying. I could tell crying didn't suit her. Don't ask me how, I just could.

She raised her head off of her knees and looked at me. She took me in fully at first, and then her eyes trailed up to mine. I saw the surprise flicker in them before she squashed it. I knew she knew my eyes. We just started into the others eyes, not looking away. If this was a boy, I would have figured this was love at first sight.

She spoke without warning, but it didn't stop our staring contest. "Why? Why are you coming out here while it's raining? You were safe inside your apartment, and yet you came out. Why? Is it pity you felt for me? Is that why you came out here to sit and stare at me, hoping to find someone that has it worse then you?"

For the first time in my life I laugh. It was a faint, bitter laugh, which startled her nonetheless. But it was a laugh, and she approved. "No I don't pity you. I came out here because of something the beaters call Karma. Plus, you needed help, if I didn't help you when you needed someit, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

She smiled, "Thanks for being honest. I appreciate it. Beaters huh? If I had known they went that far I would have never just sat at home doing nothing." She looked angry for a second, worse than the beaters could ever be. It was there for a second, and then it was gone. "My name's Libitina, you are Naruto Uzumaki, are you not?"

My eyes grew wide, how did she know who I was? I wanted nothing more than to just escape; she couldn't be one of the beaters in disguise could she? No, she wouldn't be. I saw that look on her face when she mentioned the beaters, she doesn't like them anymore then I do. It wasn't a façade, she wouldn't hurt me.

"How do you know my name?" I asked melodiously, kind of scared of her answer. Would this mysterious girl actually answer my question? Why did I get the feeling that I could trust her, that I could drop my guard around her? Could she know my pain? Could she protect me from the beaters?

The girl—what was her name?—Libitina? She smiled like she knew what I was thinking. Then sShe told me she did knoew what I was thinking, and how she got here. "I can read minds little one. If anyone knows your pain—it would be me. I wanted to help my friend, but he wouldn't let me. Then I got scared, and tried to jump, but I did it wrong."

She looked irritated. "I won't lie to you; he just killed his whole entire clan. Because of this stupid Village told him too. But my sister did the same, but to our Village. Mother found out—she is our Kage—and the whole Village knew. Sister ended up killing everyone. Then I got scared and jumped. And now I am in the past."

My mind was going too fast, she went back into the past? "You jumped into the past?" I asked subtly, like I was afraid she wasn't going to answer my question. She nodded at my question. "I am part demon—I can tell you more about it later—but I can jump through time. I meant to go to my sister or my friends, but I messed up."

For a moment I thought she was going to cry again, but her eyes became steel and so did her posture. She continued, "I didn't mean to cry. I am being childish,childish; I know where my friends are and my sister. I didn't have to cry…but I wonder why I did..." she trailed off for a moment, as if thinking of a reason.

She gave me a long look, and then her eyes lit up as if she just realized something. "I get it. I picked up your emotions." Her eyes softened as she looked at me. "You really are a sad thing aren't you? Don't worry sweetie, Tina will take care of you now."

With that she took me in her arms and hugged me. It was only after those words did I realize that she was older then she looked. I even voiced my thoughts. "You're older than five aren't you? How old are you Tina-san? How old were you when you jumped back?" I asked. Yes, I believed her completely.

She looked thoughtful, "I was…let's see…around nine I think. Sasuke was eight, and I am a year older than him." This long haired girl—I couldn't tell the hair color it was dark—looked at me and smiled. "I think I am a year older then you…well there are thirteen days in between ours."

We giggled. "But as for my real age...well you might want to hear that later, after we had a long talk about my past." Tina stopped and tensed up. She jumped up and spun around her back facing me, concealing me, as if she didn't want whatever made her jump up see me.

But it didn't matter. The beaters saw me, and they saw her jump to my defense. That was why I had no friends; it always seemed the friends I did have wanted to protect me. And then they would get hurt and I would feel like crap afterwards, knowing I got them hurt. I didn't want her to get hurt, particularly her..

But she didn't say anything, she was still, as if she was a snake—a Viper—waiting to strike. They didn't say anything this time. They seemed mesmerized by her, they didn't say anythingno words this time; usually they talk on and on. They Today they just attackedattacked no words. She was fast, she dodged the first one. But I think she forgot I was behind her.

She moveddodged him, the man hit me, and I feel back smacking my head against the ground. That was when everything stopped, my world slowed down. I saw pure fury, pure rage engulfed her features, and her eyes went black as night, her hair the same. I will never forget her words, or what I saw in those few seconds.

"Die you miserable pieces of shit that don't deserve to live." Her voice was low and lethal. The man that hit me was thrown back into the other and they burned. I never wanted to harm my beaters before, but as I watched them burn—as I slowly slipped into darkness, the result of my head hitting the ground—I felt satisfied.

That was when everything began for me. My world was turned upside down and I loved it. Tina made me realize that just because they are bigger, older; it didn't mean they could get away with hurting me. Tina made me realize that they deserved death, they deserved to burn. And they would, one of us would see it done.

~:End of Flashback:~

My other hand touched the window as my head went in between them. My forehead felt the coolness of the water cold rain through the glass. I never regretted meeting Tina, I loved—and still love— her so much. She protected me, loved me, and taught me enough for me to survive, and more. That is something I could never replay her for. That was why I could never be mad her for leaving me. Her leaving me told me of the trust she held for my abilities, my skills, and my powers.

When she left, that told me she thought I could protect myself, I could destroy anyone that wish to hurt me. And because of my wish to protect myself I still kept myself hidden, I wouldn't give the chance. She was smart, if she thought it best for me to hide who I am then so be it. I knew she would be back for me, she had always told me she would. That is if she ever left me. But no matter what I told myself, no matter how I explained her trust in me, it still hurt like hell to know she left me.

But that was for the best,, if her leaving let me grow up then so be it. I wouldn't want to be sheltered. I have learned a lot since she found me that night. I found her technically, but in the end she found and nurtured the true me. She would always be my sister, my mother, and my friend. It didn't really shock me when she told me that she and my father were in love with each other. It would shock me if someone wasn't indidn't love with her. But even if she wasn't my mother in blood, she was in every other way that mattered.

I chuckled when the rain let up. This was how my life was. The rain would fall and I would be free, and I would be myself. But once it stopped I would have to hide again. Was I really like the moon Tina and Gaara love so much? Would I always hide who I am in the darkness, but still light the way for others in their darkened times? That made me laugh—bitter laughswould always be mine. Would someone light my way? I had to wonder that, Tina had told me that everyone wants that person who lit lights the way for them. She even admitted she wanted that person.

But would we be the same? Would we never find that person? Or Wwould we find that person? Would we forever light the path for others, not having our path lit ourselves?

I yawned and went to bed, tucking away those depressing, but very important concerns away for later. I didn't want to be unaware and tired when that damn surprise came out. I needed to be on my guard. I didn't know how true those words would end up being.

To Be Continued...

Well there is the end of chapter 1, Review tell me what you think! I have decided to not write A New Start till this story is done. On that note, I am editing these chapters (because something is messing up--3-27-09) Chapter 3 will come out...once chapter 2 is editied. And that is the longest chapter.

TTFN--

MOON (Panda-chan)