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BPOVSunday I spent super cleaning my apartment. Even now, on Sunday night, I wasn't sure it was nice enough here for him. With all the money he made, I was sure his place was some MTV mansion. And I only had the one king sized bed for us to share. I wish I had another bedroom for him, or at least a sofa bed that he could use.
But he didn't seem to mind the one bed when I told him about it. Part of me really thrilled at the idea of having him sleep next to me, but the idea that he would see me in the morning made my body tense and sweat in fright. I'm sure he looks perfect and sexy in the morning…and my eyes pictured that for a few minutes.
He told me to miss him. And I am. Damn, something is severely wrong with me. I didn't even know this guy, really.
But those kisses. Damn.
I had the check all ready for him, made out to E.C. Construction, in an envelope on my kitchen counter, the single word EDWARD written upon it. I apologized again to my dead Grandma, hoping she would understand. I even fantasized that my Grandma was a cool woman, and if there was anything worth buying, this was it, and she would approve.
My dad had already called me this morning with the results of my background check. Edward Cullen is a clean, law abiding citizen. On paper, anyway. I told Charlie Rosalie was dating him and that I just wanted to make sure he was alright.
I have too much junk food. I was looking in my cabinets now, seeing if I had the right food in the place for my guest. He was probably Mr. Healthfood, with that body of his. Oh, screw it, we could always go food shopping tomorrow night if he wanted anything.
God, I am nervous. I had bought five new notebooks to start taking notes and I had my tape recorder set up with 6 new tapes to record our interviews. I hoped that I could do a good job asking him questions that wouldn't insult him but led him to open up to me.
I had already seen how good he is at covering up his true emotions, even when he was being attacked in that dark corner at Fire. God, that was purely awful.
It felt really good to go in charging after those women, and having my girls right behind me, helping me out was great, too. I didn't even think about it…I just saw what they were doing to him and I lost it. I was running towards them before I knew it was happening. I wanted to save him.
That's probably my whole mental reason for paying all this money to have him here…I want to save him. Does he want saving?
But what bothered all of us girls was the way Edward took the attack. So calm, so "no big deal"…I didn't believe it for a second. He was hiding. Covering things up, putting on a happy face. I wanted that happy mask off his face. I want to see the real Edward.
I took a nice shower after dinner and for some unknown reason, I shaved my legs, the entire length of each one, and any unsightly hair anywhere else on my body. Was I expecting him to see my body? No. Yes. I don't know.
I was so confused and torn that my head began to pound. I went to bed at 9 o'clock that night, too exhausted mentally to worry about another thing anymore.
The next morning I had my alarm set for 7am, but I was awake at 5:30 am. I couldn't sleep. I felt like it was Christmas morning and I was 3 years old waiting for Santa to arrive.
It's May so the weather is warm and sunny and sunlight fills every room here. Of course, there are only four rooms. My bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room. The rooms were pretty good sizes but this was a cozy little place. If Edward gets mad at me in the next two weeks, he wasn't going to lose me in here. He'd most likely have to go out for awhile to cool off.
I was all dressed and looking alright by 6:24am. So now I had to wait around until 9am for Edward to arrive. I adjusted everything three times, cleaned a little more, and looked out my window several times, watching strangers walk past. Time seemed to crawl by.
I almost fell asleep again when at 9:34am, a knock playfully tapped on the door.
I hate late people.
I found myself rushing to the door when I really shouldn't have answered it at all. I wondered if I could knock some money off his twenty grand paycheck if he was going to be late like this all the time.
I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door but , there he was, dressed very normally, in a white t-shirt and light blue jeans, taking off his black sunglasses as I pulled the door ajar, revealing those fierce bright green eyes. He had one single duffle bag hanging from his shoulder and at seeing me, his smile grew larger.
I couldn't be mad at him with a smile so bright. Jesus, I am too easy.
"Bella." He waited there, "I didn't hear from you so I'm guessing…hoping…everything is okay. You did the check on me, right?"
"Yes." I waited for him to enter, "Everything is fine. Come on in, Edward."
"Thank you." He said, just as polite as he was in the club the other night.
"Wow…this is nice." He entered, respectfully, lying to me.
"Well, it's clean and warm." I shrugged, "And no bugs. In New York, that's a palace."
He laughed softly, "Sure is."
I gave him the small tour and he followed me five steps to the bathroom, then ten steps back to see the bedroom, and the tour was over.
"I know it's small." I looked down, making a face, "If you want to change your mind…we don't have to do this."
"Stop." Edward placed his bag down carefully and was coming over to me, he moved his hands over my hair and held my face again. He leaned in, giving me a tender, moist kiss and said in a low voice, "I like it here, Bella."
Damn it, he smells good. And his mouth…how does he make it that soft all the time? His breath was cool and like spearmint…mmmmm.
"You do?" I asked, not sure why.
"Yes." He looked down into my eyes, making me his fool instantly, "This is where you are."
God, he is good at delivering a line. Before I knew it, he was kissing me again, and my back was leaning against the wall of the living room.
My stomach made a gurgling sound and his eyes opened, latching onto my wide, embarrassed ones. His kissing mouth smiled and broke its kiss from mine.
"Are you hungry?" he purred, going to his bag, taking out a couple of plastic food store bags, moving into the kitchen, "I've got eggs, cheese, onions, some bacon…do you like omelets?"
He could cook me rocks for breakfast and I would eat them, loving it.
He looked at me with such an energetic look in his eyes. Is he acting again now? I can't even tell. He just went in one second from Don Juan to Julia Childs.
"Yea, I love eggs." I informed, watching him, amazed by him again. He would make a very complex study, indeed. I feel like a mad scientist.
It's like…whatever he thinks I want…he becomes that instantly.
"Good." He smiled, "I will make you the best omelet you've ever had, Omelet de Eduardo." He laughed at his fake little Spanish accent as he completed that sentence.
"Wow, you cook too." I came up and sat on the little bar stool at the kitchen counter, watching him getting acquainted with my kitchen. He easily found a pan and a bowl and took out a spatula, preparing everything.
"I do everything." He raised a brow at me suggestively, being a busy little bee while I smiled at him.
Wow.
"Oh is that right?" I teased him back, grinning, hoping that would ease the heat I was already feeling in the pit of my gut, "So, what makes your Omelet de Eduardo so special?"
He bit his bottom lip, "Me." He said and he chuckled as I smirked back at him, liking his style and confidence. I wish I had either of those.
I didn't know what that meant exactly but as I looked down at my TV guide, pretending I wasn't really interested in what he was doing, I saw him doing something with his shirt.
Looking up fast, I saw he removed his t-shirt and made it into a little apron, tucking the short sleeves into his jeans, his smooth oil-free chest looking much softer now, easier to see in the sunlight. I was going to tell him to put his shirt back on, but it was getting hotter in here…and my eyes weren't done studying every line and ripple they could drink in.
He turned on the flame under the pan and tossed a slab of butter to the hot surface, his hands mixing up the eggs in the bowl. Peeking up at me from under his long eyelashes, he smirked.
"Breathe, Bella." He teased, seeing right through my cool, nonchalant act.
"I am breathing." I said a little defensively as he turned his back to me, cooking the eggs now. I felt my face get red hot. No, don't blush, don't blush…
"Oh." I saw his envelope sitting there right in front of me, "This is for you."
I handed it to him, knowing this moment was the one that now defined me as someone who was paying money to a male prostitute. I half expected NBC's 'To catch a predator' film crews to come flying in here now.
Letting the eggs sit in the pan to harden a little, Edward turned to me, taking the envelope with a slow hand, looking into my face, then, reluctantly, he opened it and peeked inside for two seconds.
"Thank you, Bella." He said simply, folding it in half and shoving it into his back pocket, "You won't be sorry, I promise."
He went back to cooking and I stared at his back, trying to find something cool to say back to him. All that came out, though, was truth.
"I feel really…weird…" I admitted, "I've never paid anyone to live with me before. It's nothing personal. I do…like you. It's just strange for me. Doing this."
"No big deal." He smiled at me, assuring me, "Forget you paid me. Or don't. Whatever makes you feel good, comfortable around me. People buy things every day, in stores, things they need. How is this any different? Don't worry, Bella. I know how to make you relax. It will be great, trust me."
Somehow I already was trusting him, a little.
Soon he was putting the eggs on two plates now and set one down in front of me, along with buttered toast and bacon. Pouring me a nice glass of milk, he came up to the other stool beside me.
"May I?" he asked.
"Sure." I pulled the chair out a little for him, "And, you don't have to be so formal. This is your place now, too, for the next 2 weeks. I want you to make yourself at home. Alright, Edward?"
"Alright. Thanks." He smiled at me warmly, taking a bite of his bacon.
I began to eat and it was actually very good. Nice and cheesy with a little taste of onion.
And then he began talking to me.
"So…" he ate as he asked me, "What are the rules?"
"Rules?" I asked, putting down my glass of milk.
"Yes." He licked his lips, finishing off his bacon before he even touched the eggs.
"I didn't really…make any rules." I fumbled, trying to think of some now, coming up blank, "Like I said, I'm new at this stuff. What kind of rules do you usually have?"
"Everyone is different." He shrugged, "Like, one woman likes me kneeling in front of the door naked every night as she comes home from work. Stuff like that."
God, how humiliating. Again, my stomach twisted in knots with pity for what this man puts himself through.
"No." I looked at him with a frown, then made my face lose the grimace, "I won't have any thing like that. I'm not…into that stuff."
He chuckled at me as my cheeks flushed hotly, imagining him kneeling naked at my door when I came home from school. What if Rosalie or Alice were with me?
Yea, I know, they'd never stop thanking me.
"Come on, Bella, it's nothing to be ashamed of. Surely you have some fantasies." Edward was looking at me curiously as he ate with his fork now, taking big bites of the eggs. He doesn't nibble his food, I noticed, he devours it.
"Yea, becoming a psychiatrist." I informed flatly, "And after we eat, we can get to work, okay?"
"Don't call it work, Bella, let's just have fun and enjoy each other." He said with a breezy air to his voice.
"Well, we can have fun at times but it won't all be enjoyable." I pointed out, almost finished eating, "There will be very hard questions to answer eventually and I want you to know that I am here for you. I will never judge you or put you down, I promise you that. I just want you to be as open and honest as you can be. 2 weeks is not that long to really get to know you, but if you are willing to cooperate and be truthful, I think we can make some progress before our time together is up."
"Oh wait…" something was dawning on him now, "I think I understand. You want me to be the patient and you're the psychiatrist. Is that right?"
"Yea." I looked at him like he just grew two heads, "I thought that was clear. I told you about this. In that Awaken room, remember?"
His smile looked amused. "So I can be the poor, sex addicted patient…and you can try to cure me of my wicked ways…I like this game!"
He leaned in, trying to kiss my earlobe, almost standing up now, ready to start playing.
"No, Edward." I almost whined, "I am not role playing. I am in college studying to become a psychiatrist. For REAL. I want you to be my subject. I will be getting to know about you, your life, your past…we discussed this the other night."
Do men ever listen to us? Even half naked hot men?
"That was for real?" he asked, frowning, "I thought you were too scared to ask me to be your toy and you were being classy about asking me."
"Toy?" I felt hotter now. I knew it. He thinks he's here to service me for two weeks. And I'm arguing with him because??
"Yea." He shrugged, looking over at my face closely again, "Don't you want to play with me, Bella?"
I lost all speech at this point. Even my dead Grandma is saying "YES!" somewhere in the cosmos right now I'm sure.
My mouth hung open as he stood and leaned in again, kissing his mouth into my neck. I think he's figured out my weak spot. Damn it, this feels soooo good. Heat. Wet. Tongue. Lick. Teeth. Gently closing. Hot breath.
"I'll be a good little toy, Bella…" he purred affectionately, licking my jugular vein.
Uhhhh…I felt my eyes rolling back into my head but I actually found the strength to squirm away from him a little, off my stool and in the kitchen now, putting the counter between us.
Edward's eyes looked a little sad as I said, "Please, Edward? This is very important to me, it's a big part of my grade. Please…do this for me."
He looked around now, seeing the sofa and the coffee table with the tape recorder on it, and the blank tapes, and my notebooks, pens on top of them.
I almost saw a bit of fear there in his face as he realized I wasn't kidding about this.
For the first time I was not seeing happy, carefree, dance club Edward. This is good…a little peek at the man behind the mask.
"You're saying I'm sick." He stated, not asking me, his hurt eyes looking back at mine.
"No!" I tried to take a step or two towards him, "Never!"
"And you want to analyze me like some germ under a microscope, is that it?" he asked further, yanking his shirt out of his jeans, looking embarrassed suddenly, and putting the shirt back on.
Crap.
"No, Edward!" I made myself grab his bare arms into my hands as I looked up at his face, "I just need to find an interesting person to interview for awhile and then I type a report of what I've discovered. That's all."
He took a hard breath, not moving away from me. "I don't like this, Bella." He muttered quietly.
"But you were willing to---" I began, stopping myself, seeing his eyes spark in understanding.
"But I was willing to be your toy for 14 days?" he finished for me, "Yes. That's what I do, what I am good at. You didn't find me in a library, Bella, you know what I am."
"Please…you're taking me wrong…" I almost pleaded to him, hating the look in his face. Already I was hurting my patient. I had to soothe him and put him at ease.
"I understand that you have a problem with trust." I began, "But—"
"How would you know that about me?" Edward frowned at me now, "You know nothing about me. You have no idea what my problems are."
I was fucking this up so bad and we haven't even started yet. Come on, Bella, fix this now.
"I would like to, Edward." I said with a tender voice, "Please…give me a chance. Please help me. I need you. I think this is so much easier than…all I'm asking you to do is talk to me. I am not asking you to do anything else."
I knew I was asking him to leave his comfort zone and he might bolt.
"No." he realized what I was saying, looking at me with more sadness, "I can't…take 20 grand from you for two weeks of just talking. Why would you pay me all that money just to ask me some questions about my childhood?"
"That's how badly I want this." I admitted, giving in, "I'm sorry, Edward. I never meant to make you feel sick or…like a germ. I really like you and would never intentionally do that. If you want to go, you can go. But I really hope you stay."
I sat on my stool, unable to look at that wounded puppy look in his face anymore. I made him feel sick already. I suck. Maybe I should just be a bank teller or something where I can't hurt people. I put my head in my hands, waiting for him to take off with my check.
After a long silence, finally Edward spoke.
"If I do this…" he began, "You must give me equal time. What I mean is, I will be your patient…AND…your toy. You may study me and let me…study you in return. That is the only way I can stay."
I took a deep breath. If I wanted his honesty, then I should be honest with him as well.
"I am going to be totally honest with you Edward." I announced, "Yes, I am extremely attracted to you, and I know you know that. I have not had a great sex life. I have been with one person and it lasted 33 seconds and I hardly even remember it. Yes, I have fantasies and dreams and desires that I've done nothing about. And a big part of me wants to show those to you…but I'm…afraid."
"I am going to be totally honest with you, Bella." He announced back to me, "Yes, I am very (he closed his eyes for a second then opened them) messed up – and I know you know that. I have not had a great…life. I have been with lots and lots of women and can not connect with a single one of them unless there's sex involved. I have dreams and desires that I've done nothing about, too. And a big part of me wants to share those with you…but…I'm afraid too. I don't…talk to people…about ME. Ever."
"So we have a lot in common, then." I glanced down at my sneakers, then back up to his tense face, "Alright, Edward. Deal. But…please be patient with me, okay? The thing is, you do scare me and dazzle me at the same time and that makes me very nervous. I'm not used to those feelings. Maybe as we get to know each other more, I'll begin to feel…more comfortable around you."
He grinned, crossing his arms, "I dazzle you?"
"Frequently."
He smiled and relaxed again, purring, "I'll go slow if you do."
"Agreed." I said, taking a breath, feeling better about our arrangement now.
Then a naughty part of me reared its ugly head and I added, "And take your shirt off. Rule one – don't wear any shirts in here."
A wicked little smile spread across his face and I had to smile my own bad girl smile in return. He looked surprised at me. I was surprised at me, too.
"Why, Bella…" he feigned shock, taking off his shirt, "I think I may be able to help you after all."
He came up to me and put his shirt around my neck like it was a scarf. I just stood there, gazing up into those intense eyes, wondering what was going on inside him now.
"I like rule number one." He almost whispered, coming in for another kiss, his fingers curling slightly under my chin again. I could never resist his kisses. They were hot and melty and sensual. Most of all is the way they made me feel. Sexy and beautiful…and desirable, like someone else completely.
I was believing the lie. I was falling for him like every other woman he worked for. I needed to stop this and act professionally, like a psychiatrist would. Would a doctor take advantage of her patient like this ?
I took a step backwards and broke the kiss while Edward's mouth was still in puckered mode. He watched me moving away from him like I had done something wrong but then his face quickly turned friendly and devilish again.
"I have school in a couple of hours, so I thought it would be good to have a little session before I go." I walked past him, over to the living room area. I sat on the green sofa and figured he could sit in the nice easy chair across from me. I had the first blank tape in the machine already, so I picked up my new notebook and opened it to the first page, taking a pen.
"Would you like to sit down, Edward?" I asked very sweetly, pointing my pen casually to the chair.
"I thought the patient gets the couch." He tried to joke as he turned towards the living room.
"Do you want the couch?" I asked.
"Yes." He was already being a little difficult, but not overly so.
"Fine." I stood up and took the chair.
I watched him slowly move to my sofa. I thought he'd sit there but he was laying down on his back, putting one of his masculine legs over the back of it. His chest was completely bare and that was so appealing to me, I hated lots of hair on men. His strong arms folded behind his head and he closed his eyes. No underarm hair, either. Nice. I noticed his jeans were so low on his hips that I could see the cuts in his pelvis. I wonder if he has underwear on. He should be in a calendar. Damn it, there I go again.
I knew what he was trying to do. Distract me. It wasn't going to work. Much.
I will never see my sofa the same way ever again. God, he looks good laying there.
"I am ready, Dr. Bella." he said with a calm voice, "You may have your way with my brain…and later, my body. Although I think you may enjoy one more than the other."
He snickered, peeking at me like a little boy. I couldn't help smiling at him. He is so cute when he laughs.
"Alright." I began, hitting the record button and saying, "Edward Cullen – Session One."
"Just Edward." He said firmly, "Edward…okay?"
His eyes did not look insulted, just asking.
"Alright, Edward – Session One." I corrected, "It bothers you when I use your last name?"
"I don't have a last name when I'm working." He still used a nice voice, staring up at the ceiling.
Family issues.
"Do you have a family?" I asked.
He closed his eyes and I could tell he already was having a hard time.
"No, I landed here in a spaceship when I was three." He said, dripping with sarcasm.
"Edward…" I almost grinned.
"My parents knew my planet was going to explode so they put me in this little ship…" he continued, smirking a little, his eyes glancing at me.
I had to be patient and understanding with him. I was trying.
Avoidance.
I waited, not saying anything until he decided to speak again. He still had my check in his back pocket. I wanted to bring that up but then I didn't. I had to let him come to me.
"Yes I had a family." He said quietly, his eyes closed again.
"Had…" I repeated, "What happened to them?"
"Nothing." He gave a little sigh, "I mean…I don't know. I don't see them anymore."
That didn't surprise me.
"Do they know about…you working at Fire?" I asked, wishing this sounded more like a real conversation and not me just firing questions at him. This is why I needed these assignments. I had to get better at this. Practice would be the only way to do it.
"No." he kept his eyes closed, "I don't think so. I started working there after I lost contact with them."
Hmm. Something else broke him away from his family. Interesting.
"Edward…" I liked using his name, I wanted him to feel comfortable talking to me, "What was it that caused you to stop talking to your family?"
"Can I ask you…some questions…after I answer one of yours?" he looked over at me, those eyes of his…could I really say no to anything he wanted?
Is that professional? Patients don't get to ask their doctors personal questions.
"Please?" he added.
God.
"Alright, Edward."
"My family – my mother and father, are very rich…and very cold." He said, "They were never around when I was growing up. They were always too busy. I had no brothers and sisters. I became closer to the household staff than to them. But I got used to that. But then, when I was going to college, I met a girl they didn't like, didn't approve of. I don't think they LIKE anyone, even themselves. They told me it was either her or them. And I had to choose. I chose her."
He stopped and then rolled over onto his stomach, displaying his nice, tight little ass in their tight denim prison.
"My turn." He smiled at me, looking me up and down.
"Okay." I grinned, glad he was looking more relaxed now.
"Have you ever had an orgasm?" he asked right out as if he were asking me what size shoe I wore.
"God!" I turned bright red and I knew it. He smiled at me, liking my embarrassment.
"What?" he asked innocently, "It's a yes or no question, I thought that was an easy one."
He would think that.
"No." I said simply, watching his eyes lower a bit. He was looking at my body now. Shit!
I lifted my open notebook a little, hoping to hide whatever he was checking out on me.
"So…" I went to my next question, "When your parents saw that you chose this woman, what, they just…kicked you out of the house?"
"The house, the college, the money, everything." Edward informed, looking across the room now, but I could see in his head, he was seeing them.
"They're dead to me." He said after a moment, "Can't we talk about something else, please? They were never a real part of my life. I don't miss them."
"But I can see it bothers you." I said gently, "Have you ever tried to make any contact with them since that argument?"
He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down into the sofa. I waited, not saying a thing until he raised his head up and said, "Once."
I began to talk again but he cut me off sharply, "And I'm not talking about that now so don't ask."
They were never a real part of his life, he says. Oh no, they're only the knife that is sticking out of his heart, they're not important.
To be rejected at such an early age…and neglected all through his childhood. Did that mean he never got to finish college, then?
His parents certainly did major damage.
He had not learned love from them. Perhaps this is partly why it is so hard for him to show love to others.
It was his turn to ask me something now. I had a feeling this question would be tougher.
"Tell me one of your fantasies." His voice oozed sensuality and he gave me the sexy eyes now, waiting.
He put his arms under his chin and smiled at me as I began to try to speak. Is he playing with me or does he really want to know?
"Ummm…" I felt my face turn hot again, "I have some abandonment issues, I know that. My father divorced my Mom when I was 3, so…I have some…dark fantasies."
"Ooooh, goodie!" Edward wasn't frightened of this, "Continue. And stop talking like a shrink, please."
Why am I bearing my soul to this guy? Even my best friends didn't know my darkest secret fantasies.
"Well, I have this one kinda fantasy that I am…forced." I looked down at my notebook, afraid to look at his face now.
"Rape fantasy." He said, still unafraid and smiling, "How?"
I swallowed and shrugged, "A few different fantasies on that. Sometimes I dream I come home and he grabs me from behind. Sometimes I am walking home and someone grabs me from behind and pulls me into a van or something…like that."
I felt like it took me 30 years to get through those few sentences. Now I was starting to see how Edward felt answering my questions. Maybe that is his plan, to show me what it's like, being on the hot seat. He is very smart.
"You seem to like the idea of being taken from behind." He teased, his face still resting on his burly arms, his smile still there and giving me no reason to feel shame.
"Back to my question." I reminded him, blushing and trying to keep my face straight.
"Go." He stared back at me intently, ready.
"Tell me about the girl you met…in college." I decided to drift away from his parents for a little bit.
"Why?" he looked a little tense again.
"Well, it's obvious she meant something to you." I said, "You gave everything up to be with her. Did you love her?"
He looked at me with another hard expression.
"No, I just liked the smell of her perfume." He avoided my question again with a sarcastic remark, raising his face off his arms now.
"Okay." I agreed, "So…you loved her."
This is good, I feel like I'm already getting to know him better, even though he's not going down quietly.
He didn't argue against my statement. He had loved someone. But now he was alone, it seems, and a stripper, prostituting himself. Something horrible must have happened. Can't ask that in the first session. Too soon.
"Can I just ask you her name?" I went slow as he requested.
He hesitated. Something very deep was going on inside his eyes as he looked away. God whatever happened it must have been awful. He can't even tell me her name. I just waited, not pushing.
Minutes later, he looked at me with true sorrow in his eyes and breathed, "I can't."
"It's alright, you don't have to say it." I assured him with my voice and smile.
"I'm sorry, Bella." He breathed again, looking at his open hands in slight shame.
"It's alright." I said again, just as carefully as before, "You're doing so great. I know this is hard. I appreciate that you're talking to me at all."
This seemed to make him feel better and he exhaled a long breath, relaxing his body again.
"My turn?" he asked me, not sure now, since he couldn't answer my last question.
"Go ahead." I gave in to him.
"Do you ever dream of being tied up?" he asked, smiling sweetly, always getting right to the heart of things.
"Frequently." I decided to own up to it. This was common so I didn't mind answering. Either that, or being with Edward made me braver than usual.
"Bella…." Edward purred in delight, "We are going to have so much fun on my time…"
I blushed and smiled at the same time, tired of making myself so rigid and professional. I could tell, with Edward, the more open I was with him, the more he would trust me and let me in a little more.
I tried to concentrate on what to ask him next but all I could think of now was Edward tying me up.
Before I could help myself, I just asked, "Have you ever been tied up?"
"Frequently." He used my word without missing a beat, his dreamy smile still playing on his moist shiny lips.
Wow. Wish I could hear some of those stories. Wait, I can, if he wants to discuss it.
"Really?" I asked, my face almost frowning, "What is it like?"
He shrugged, grinning slightly, "All depends who's tying you. If you're with an angry, violent person, it's going to hurt. If you're with a sexual, horny person, it is quite pleasant, actually. Sometimes all they want is the illusion that you're helpless and tied up. Like in the vampire cage. I can get my hands in and out of those cuffs whenever I want and everyone sees that. But as long as I pretend I can't get out and I scream and struggle a little bit, they get their fantasy."
"And you let angry, violent people tie you up?" I asked without thinking.
"The pay is very good." He said flatly.
"But they could hurt you." I said a little louder, trying to calm my voice. Suddenly I was afraid for him and wanted to talk sense into him.
"They DO hurt me, that's the point." He said blankly.
"What if it got out of control and someone did serious harm to you?" I wondered aloud.
"I have a manager." He informed, "She knows where my jobs are and when. If anything happens to me, she would know and come after me."
"How do they hurt you?" I asked, feeling very protective of him now.
"There are lots of ways to torture a slave, Bella." He shrugged, shaking his head a little, "I could go on forever. But some of them…the whip, the cane, needle play, electricity, fire, nipple clamps…"
"Whoa, wait." I held a hand up, "Electricity?"
"Not what you're thinking." He grinned, "There are different little machines out now. Some of them are little sticky pads that are placed on the skin in different places and then there's a little dial the woman would control the…intensity. Then she hits a button and I get a little zap."
"God, Edward…" I shivered from just the thought of it.
"It's alright." He smiled, "It makes no marks or anything. No permanent damage."
No, only mental damage. No big deal.
"Hey you just asked a whole bunch of questions, I think it's my turn." He reminded me with a bigger smile.
"Oh, yea, sorry." I forgot our deal for a minute. God, I am already caring about him in a big way. I'm not supposed to get that involved with a patient. I'm already screwing up this assignment.
"Do you like pain?" Edward asked me. He is trying to find out what I like, what I want him to do to me.
"No." I said right out, "I don't want to be electrocuted or anything."
"No, no." he chuckled at me, "I wouldn't do that to you. I told you, I will only do what you want me to do. I mean, light pain. Have you ever wanted to be spanked a little? Lightly!"
"I don't know…" I felt warm all over now, "Maybe."
This made Edward smile to himself. I see a light spanking in my future. Something inside me was actually happy about this. I felt my heart pounding excitedly.
"I notice that you're okay talking about sex." I began as he watched me in amusement, "But when I ask you personal questions you struggle with that."
"That's not a question." He said in a low voice, his eyes fixed on me.
"Okay." I chewed on my pen cap, "Do you…find that physical pain is easier to endure than…emotional pain?"
I think I was onto something here.
He looked like he was thinking this over himself and finally he said, "Let me put it this way - if I had a choice between talking to my parents again or being stuck all over my body with needles…"
There was a brief pause.
"I would take the needles." He said, his voice like ice, "Make of that what you like."
God, he's been stuck with needles. This man is very sad, that much is clear. I'm not sure if I can do anything to help him. But I so want to.
And now, this wasn't about my grade anymore. I really want to help him. Help him to stop doing what he's doing and have a better life. It became my new mission.
A loud knock banged on the door and I jumped from the sudden interruption. Edward didn't flinch or move in the slightest, only to cast his eyes at the door and then at me.
"Want me to get it?" he asked, beginning to stand up.
I saw the clock and it was nearly time for me to be going to school now. I knew it was Rosalie and Alice coming as usual to walk with me to class. A fiendish smile crept up my lips and I said, "Yea, thanks Edward."
He grinned at me and winked, back in dance club mode, and bit his bottom lip, opening the door half way, seeing my friends and revealing just enough of himself so they could get a good look at him.
Propping his arm up against the door, he smiled at them and purred, "Hello again."
I was trying not to laugh from my chair, wishing I could see their faces. I had not told them he would be here today. It would be a complete shock to them, seeing Edward half naked, answering my door.
I only heard two sets of gasping, panting voices in the hall.
I heard Alice going, "This is the right…place, yea, is Bella here?"
Oh, great. Poor Alice thought for a second she went to the wrong apartment. I've only lived here for 3 years !
"Well, yes, but she's very tired." Edward's voice was like melted sex, "And I'm not sure I'm finished with her yet."
What a little devil.
I hurried to the door before he told my friends I wasn't going to school today. I need to go, I had to have a little break from Edward, he was breaking me down already, very expertly so.
School would be the one place I could clear my mind and talk to my friends about what the hell I should do. Oh God, this deal I made. When I come home later, it would be his turn to be in charge of our activities. What did I do?
"Hi guys." I grabbed the knob and pulled it all the way open, watching Edward grin at me and back away from the door now.
"Come in." I said to them. They always came in for a little while first to chat before we had to get going.
"Uh, hi Bella." Rosalie said, her voice a little on the bitchy side as they walked in.
Edward was in the kitchen, taking our used dishes and forks, starting to wash the dishes without a word.
Jesus, that is sexy. A man washing the dishes without being asked. And with that bare chest…I wish he'd get wet and soapy by accident. I almost forgot my friends were here until Alice started talking.
"Hey, Rose." I sat at a bar stool at the counter of the kitchen, not wanting to lose sight of my brand new dishwasher.
Alice came around to my side of the counter, hidden from Edward's view and slapped my arm hard, making her mouth form the word "WOW!!"
Her hands were flailing around her head silently yelling to me as I gave a little giggle at her. Rosalie was staring at Edward, too, especially in his crotch area, if I could judge by the lowering of her eyes.
I'm sure Edward noticed all the non-talking going on but he didn't act strangely at all. He moved over towards us, across the counter, a wash cloth sitting over one shoulder, "Would you like anything to eat…or drink? I can fix something real quick if you like."
He looked at me, Rosalie and Alice, waiting for a response. This man is going to spoil the shit out of me.
Rosalie smiled at him like her husband returning from war now. I gave her a kick to her ankle, waking her up.
"Oh, no, that's alright." She straightened, looking nervous now.
"No, thanks." Alice saw him smile to her, "I ate."
"Well, if you change your minds, just whistle." He winked and went back to the corner of the room, out of view, the water running again as he washed the pan.
He was humming to himself quietly, not intruding on our silent talking. The melody was beautiful, not to mention his deep erotic voice.
Alice made a circle around us three girls with her finger and motioned to the door. She wanted to chew me out or congratulate me outside, it looked like.
I nodded and went to get my bag, taking my notebook with me. I grabbed my purse and worked the door key out of my key ring, going around the round metal clasp until it was loose.
I motioned them out first with my hand, waving them away.
They began walking into the kitchen area, in front of me, being extra sweet now that they were in Edward's line of sight.
"Edward, we're going to school." I made myself say a bit loudly. The water went off and when I came into the kitchen he was walking towards us, drying his perfect hands on the towel that was happily laying over his bare shoulder a moment ago.
"It was nice seeing you two again." He smiled at the girls, hands going on his hips, "Next time you must stay longer."
Charming. Man, he's good.
They both giggled at him and fumbled at the door, apparently they forgot how to use a doorknob while in Edward's presence. He played the perfect gentleman, saying, "Allow me, please." And he opened the door for them, now behind it.
He must think women are all retarded if this is how they all act when he speaks to them.
Alice and Rosalie went through the door, standing in the hall waiting for me now as I stood in front of Edward, handing him the key.
"This is the house key in case you want to go out." I began, "I have another one so you can use this one the whole time you're here."
"Alright." He had a pleasant look on his face as he listened closely to me, taking it and shoving it into his front jeans pocket.
"And…make yourself at home." I repeated, truly wanting him to feel at ease here. From the way he laid on the sofa maybe I was worrying about this unnecessarily.
"Do anything you want." I motioned with my hand around the apartment, not sure why, and dropped my hand at my side, "I'll be home around four. If there's anything special you need, food-wise, make me a list and I'll get it for you."
What else? I felt like I was leaving a little child alone here all day. I had to stop this. He's a man, older than me, even! He's not a moron, he'll be fine. Just stop this already.
The edge of his mouth turned up a little bit as I rambled on. I was entertaining him now.
"And I left my cell phone number there on the pad by the phone if you need to call me." I informed. Yea, that'll happen.
"Everything will be fine, Bella." He assured me, "Don't worry."
He lowered his voice so only he and I could hear now and he leaned in, close to my ear, adding, "I know you love to worry, but don't. One thing I am going to teach you is how to relax."
He straightened up and gave me that wonderful crooked smile.
"Uhh…okay, then." I couldn't think of a witty comeback to that one, "I will…see you at four."
He stood there, grinning at me, not saying anything.
"Bye Edward." I felt my eyes wetten a little, not sure why. Deep down I wondered if he'd be here when I got home. Was he conning me? Maybe he didn't like my questions just now and didn't want to be here anymore. Maybe…
I was walking out the door, backpack over my shoulder when he said, "Bella." A bit loudly, not angrily so, just acting like I forgot something.
"Yea?" I stopped and turned towards him.
Alice and Rosalie were standing right outside the threshold of the doorway, eyes glued to us.
"Come here." He said invitingly.
I came closer to him, feeling my blood quicken and my heart thudding away in my chest, wondering if he wanted what I think he wanted. I still was not used to this, having the attention of a man this delicious. Or any man, for that matter.
"Excuse us, ladies." Edward still acted proper, just closing the door a little bit, to hide us from their view momentarily.
I glanced at them as they got hidden by the door and looked up at his happy green eyes.
"You keep on trying to get away from me without kissing me goodbye. I don't like it." He purred, acting hurt as he grabbed my arms and brought them up a bit, bringing my mouth to his open, hungry one.
The kiss was a bit rough but incredible! His lips had to be the most sleek, warm, wet pair in the United States. I still couldn't get over it. The faint taste of Omelet de Eduardo and bacon, mixed with a bit of that spearmint danced into my mouth as I kissed him back, trying to match his energy and enthusiasm.
I'm sure Rosalie and Alice could hear our kissing sounds out there but I forgot about them again. And all the world was only him and I.
Without warning, he released my arms and my body came down a bit, my mouth losing his too soon.
"Go learn something." He opened the door for me all the way and rested his cheek against the edge of it, smiling at me as if I were the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.
Grandma, thank you for your inheritance. I had no idea money could buy me something like THIS but I was so satisfied with my purchase so far. And this was only day one!
Right away I hated thinking of Edward that way. I am just as bad as those bitches who hurt him and made him kneel naked at the door as they come in. I really do have some dark places inside me. I have always known that but having Edward here, I know it more.
Curious, though, I get so angry when I think of someone else using or hurting Edward. I would make a note of that later, I decided.
"Any special instructions for me before you go?" he asked, the wonderful sexy smile still on his face. His expressions look so real, not phony at all. He is a very good actor, I'll give him that.
"Uhhh…no." I blushed a little, picturing him naked and kneeling before me, "Just…do anything you like."
Why do I keep repeating myself? I need to leave.
"As you wish." His voice made my toes tingle.
"Bye." I blushed like a five year old girl.
"Bye." He did his best voice of a five year old boy.
I made myself walk and not look back. I didn't hear the door close until I was walking down the stairs, towards the front door that lead outside.
Was he watching me walk away? God, he was looking at my ass, wasn't he?
Here it comes.
"Holy SHIT, BELLA!!" Alice got in first as we stepped out into the bright, warm afternoon, a busy city sidewalk filled with walking people, lined with stores and pizza places, shops.
"What is he doing there, doing your dishes?" Rosalie butt in, loudly, "Did you sleep with him last night?"
"NO!" I shouted, walking quickly, holding my strap protectively, "He came this morning."
"Oh he came, huh?" Alice teased, giggling in glee, walking on my left side as Rosalie was on my right.
"TSK." I frowned at her, "Not like that, slob! He ARRIVED this morning. He agreed to be my subject and we had a little interview before you got there."
"He does interviews with no shirt on?" Rosalie squinted at me, "Then why did he say you were tired and he wasn't finished with you?!"
"Ugh!" I rolled my eyes, "He was playing with you! He likes that. That's how he is."
"Oh, look she knows him already!" Alice giggled, "That is so cute!"
"He was kissing you!" Rosalie reminded, "We both heard it. Or are you going to tell us he was just giving you some oxygen for the next three hours in case you run out?"
Alice giggled. "Maybe he was checking her teeth with his tongue!"
"You guys are so gross!" I looked both ways and crossed the street, hurrying as cars began to move towards us.
We made it across alive, not even thinking twice about it, and the conversation kept going on.
"We don't blame you, Bella." Alice said as we started up the quiet street towards campus, "He is very hot and nice, but you yourself were the one to say that you shouldn't date a stripper. Oh my God, your Dad would absolutely murder you!"
Rosalie let out a laugh. "I would LOVE to see that dinner happen."
"We're not dating." I was ready to confess, only to them.
"Come here." I motioned with my head, walking behind the side of a building where it was quiet and private.
They were right with me as I leaned in and said in a low voice, "You both have to swear to God you won't repeat what I'm going to tell you."
"We swear!" Alice's tongue was on the ground.
"Rosalie." I looked at her sternly.
"Yes, I swear." She looked annoyed but interested.
"Okay." I took a breath, "I paid him. To live in my apartment with me. And be my subject. For the next two weeks."
And to be my toy.
But I didn't tell them that part.
"OH JEEZ !!" Alice smiled, jumping once up and down, her hands in her hair.
"No way!" Rosalie looked a little impressed now and said, "How much?!"
"My inheritance." I admitted, looking down for a second.
"Twenty thousand DOLLARS?!!" Alice almost screamed it.
"Will you shut up?!" I winced, looking around us.
"Wait." Rosalie put up a perfectly manicured hand, "Just to answer some of your questions, he is charging you twenty thousand dollars? You are so getting screwed."
Alice piped up now, "You should've called us to help you seal the deal. That is outrageous, Bella."
"Well, it turns out…" I swallowed, biting my bottom lip, "He thought I was hiring him for something else. I guess I didn't explain it right, or he didn't hear me over the music that well or something…but…he thinks I hired him for…sex."
Rosalie's and Alice's mouths dropped open in unison and I cringed, waiting for what they'd say next.
"Well, say something!" I finally ordered them, "I kinda straightened it out a little with him this morning. He knows now that he's my subject for the thesis, but he also still thinks he's my…toy."
"TOY?!" Rosalie almost turned bright red.
"That's what he calls himself." I muttered sadly, feeling that sinking in my stomach again, remembering the pain he told me he had gone through at the hands of women. No wonder he couldn't trust us and felt so afraid to expose himself to me.
They were both laughing and I instantly became enraged.
"Don't LAUGH!" I yelled, sneering at them, "Don't you dare laugh at him!"
"I'm not laughing at him, I'm laughing at YOU!" Rosalie pointed out, "You are in a lot of trouble."
"I know."
"What are you planning to do?" Rosalie asked further, "Sleep with him?"
"No." I said, then, "I don't KNOW!"
I grabbed at my long hair and pulled, my emotions all over the place. I felt tears sting my eyes.
"Well, if you do, you'd better use condoms!" Alice said, "On the way home, you'd better buy some – large."
"She doesn't even know how to buy condoms." Rosalie glanced to Alice, then came back to me, "We will help you, Bella. But realize this, you don't have any real experience at this. You have no idea what you're doing."
"Well, then, maybe he can teach me some things." I said, revealing that maybe I did want to play with Edward a little bit. Actually, a lot.
"Oh God, you ARE going to sleep with him." Alice covered her mouth with both hands.
"BELLA!" Rosalie's eyes lit up, "Can we play with him, too?"
Alice leapt up, squealing while Rosalie was telling her to shut up so she could get my permission.
"No, no, no!" I cringed, "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to ask him to do…those kinds of things."
"Oh, he would do it." Rosalie frowned at me, frustrated now, "Come on, you can ask him, at least."
"We have to go, we're gonna be late!" I avoided her questions and ran off towards class, hearing them trailing behind me, begging for a turn.
See next chapter !
Love, WinndSinger
Notes: Should I later in the 2 weeks let Rosalie and Alice in on some Edward play time? Give me your vote! Would you let them play with Edward if you were Bella? Let me know your opinion.
Luv ya ! Thanks for the great reviews !!