A/N: I hope you guys are excited for the next chapter…sorry about the cliff hanger in the last one. I hope this one helps…4,977 words of help! I must warn you that there is a lemon in this chapter so be prepared…Thanks again and happy reading!
"Casey, please say something."
Derek was coming apart at the seams. He didn't know what to think. Casey was crying after he had poured his heart out to her and told her that he loved her. She still hadn't said anything that made any sense. All she kept saying was 'I have to…I have to…' Nothing was making sense.
Casey was trying to tell Derek that he was too good for her, but finally after trying to get the words to leave her mouth, she had made the mistake of looking into his eyes. He looked back at her with the most amazing mixture of love, confusion, hurt, devotion, and concern that she was struck on what she was going to say before she had looked at him. She was about to open her mouth and tell him it was over…
"Derek…I love you, too."
The words surprised Derek that he couldn't even register them for a second. Casey was even more shocked by her response. She had had the fullest intention of breaking his heart, but her heart had other plans. Her mind wanted her to tell him to leave her, but her heart interceded and told him what she really felt. Even as she said it she knew it was the truth. She didn't know until that moment that she loved Derek. She knew that she cared for him more than she thought possible but she never thought that the emotion was love. She never imagined that she could trust someone enough to open her heart like that. She didn't even know that she had until she wrapped in Derek's arms with his soothing voice telling her that he loved her and that everything was going to be okay. She knew now that she was too selfish to let him go…she wouldn't only be breaking his heart, but she would break her own spirit and she knew she couldn't do that to herself. Part of her felt disgusted with herself knowing she couldn't give him up and let him move on with someone that would be better, but the other part of her gloried in his feelings for her. Looking at his face right now, watching it go from confusion to shock to fear to uncertainty to adoration to happiness, she knew that she did the right thing. After all, he wasn't the only one that that liked to make people smile.
"Casey, are you sure? I mean you don't have to say that if you don't mean it. I just needed you to know how I feel. I don't want to pressure you…"
"No, it's okay. I do love you, Derek. I am not going to lie though; I didn't know that was what it was until now though. All I knew was that I cared for you and when you said you loved me my initial response was to deny and run. I know I love you because you are kind and safe and happy and fun and you make me feel like I don't have to be perfect to be perfect for you. I have never felt pressured by you in all the time that I have known you. I know that this is going to be difficult, but I am willing to take the risk. I am willing to be vulnerable to your love because I know you will keep it safe. You have my heart Derek and I want you to know that I trust you to keep it with you. I am just so happy that you also trust yours with me."
"I do, Case. I do want you to have my heart. I want you to have all of me."
"I want that, too, Derek. I want to give you all of myself. I just want you to know that I have never done that before and I know that you are the person I want to give myself to."
As Casey said this, she leaned into Derek keeping eye contact as she brought her hand up to cup the side of his face. She was so close to Derek that he could feel her breath mingling with his and before he could realize what he was doing, he closed the gap between their lips. He was so reactive that he applied a little too much pressure to the kiss and leaned Casey back into her seat as he wrapped one arm around her waist and lost his hand in her deep brown hair. It was so soft…everything about Casey was so soft. She tried so hard to be strong and hard, but she was really a sensitive person. Derek couldn't get enough that was the texture of Casey. Her face, her hair, her hands, her lips…the way her eyes glazed over like that when she was aroused….What?
"Derek, I want you."
Derek wasn't sure what to do when Casey had whispered those words across his lips. It was almost like a dream come true. Sure he knew that Casey was attracted to him and he sure as hell knew that he was attracted to her, but he knew that he would never push her to do something that she wasn't ready for. He didn't want to do that now…right after he told her that he would keep her safe, but…fuck she was undressing him with her eyes and it was taking all of Derek's control to not take her right there in the truck. He wasn't a virgin…Casey knew that. He had lost that title last year at school with his first serious girlfriend, Sara. But that didn't work out after he found her with his best friend at the time in his bed. Yea…that didn't fly. The thing that really struck Derek was that he wasn't really all that sad about it. Yea, he felt betrayed and hurt, but it didn't hurt like it would have if he had really and truly loved Sara. With Casey, if any guy every tried to even think about Casey in that way they wouldn't ever have the opportunity to use their favorite appendage every again. But that was the difference with Casey, she was innocent and virtuous. Derek knew this would be her first time and he wanted to make it good for her. He also wanted to make sure she wanted this because there was no way he could live with her regretting them making love.
"Baby, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do…really I am fine with just kissing you and holding you."
"I know, Derek, but I want to show you how much I care about you…how much I love you."
"God Case, you have no idea how bad I want to, but…"
"Derek, please. I need you more than anything else right now."
"That's the thing Casey. I don't want you to do this before you have thought it through. I want to know that you want this not just right now, but forever. I want to know that you are not gonna wake up tomorrow regretting making love to me. I know that the moment we do will be the single most wonderful moment of my life and if you felt any less I don't know if I could live with myself. I know you love me…and I know I love you, but I don't want to act on that love if you are going to regret it later. As much as I want you right now, I want a future with you more."
"I want the same thing. I could never regret being with you. I have never felt this way about another person before. I know that if I live to be a hundred years old and I could never feel this way about another person. Derek, we never know what tomorrow will bring and I want to live each day with you like it is our last. I know that if I don't show you how much I love you, that I will regret it because I need you. I need you more than I need my next breath. I want you to show me your love and I want to in return show you mine. Please let me show you."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ride back home was tension filled…sexual tension filled. Derek finally relented on the request that they were not going to have sex for the first time in the truck and that they would at least go to their house. When they reached Derek's drive way, he remembered that his little brother Edwin was staying the night at a friends and that his dad was working late at the office and probably wouldn't be home until really late if not early in the morning. How perfect…
As they walked into Derek's house, he walked over to the couch and told Casey to have a seat and wait there for a minute. He ran to the back of the house leaving Casey on the couch wondering what he was up to. After about 15 minutes he was back and taking Casey into his arms, he kissed her so gently that Casey had to remind herself to breathe…this is why I am doing this, because I love this man and how good he is. He will always be my first love and I want to remember him as my first lover, too. Casey knew that the future was unforeseeable for them. She was a realist and she honestly couldn't say if they would be together forever, but she knew one thing for sure: she would fight tooth and nail to keep this man. He was the real thing and if she had her way then they would be together forever. In reality, if something did change in the future, she knew she would never love anyone like Derek and wanted to know that he had all of her even if one day she didn't have all of him.
Derek moved away from her and held out his hand for her to hold. She put her hand in his and immediately felt the electricity that raced up her arm and looked at him…she knew that he felt it, too because he couldn't take his eyes off their holding hands. Derek looked back up at her eyes asking the question again. All she could do was nod and before she knew what was happening Derek was walking her to his bedroom. She remembered the last time they had been in his room…she had actually thought about giving herself to a complete stranger. Casey was definitely happy that she waited until she got to know Derek better. The act of love she knew would be much sweeter knowing that she loved him and that he would take care of her. He walked in front of Casey and stopped in front of the door. He brought her hand up and kissed the inside of her wrist the whole time looking directly into her eyes.
"Case, if at any point you want to stop, you just say the word and I will okay. I don't want you to think that just because we are here and we are starting something that you can't stop it. You know that this wouldn't be my first time, but it will be my first time making love. I want you to know that I will wait if that is what you want, because you are the most important thing to me now."
"I know…that is why I want to, Derek. I feel so safe and loved with you that I know that you will take care of me. I want to show you how much I love you."
And with that Derek opened the door and was she shocked at what she saw. No wonder Derek had me sitting and waiting on the couch…
Casey looked around to see the only light in the room came from the large number of candles that were lit in the room. She could have sworn she smelled something erotically floral and sure enough there were flowers on the bedside table. In the background, music was playing…something she couldn't register at first because she was too busy taking in the scene around her.
"How did you…"
"It wasn't easy to find all these candles in a house full of guys, but I managed. And I sneaked out my window and picked some of the flowers in your garden…I hope you don't mind."
All Casey could do was shake her head…this is not what she expected. This was so much better. After looking around for a few more minutes, she was able to listen to the song that was playing and recognized it as Lifehouse. As the instrumental beginning was entering her senses Casey was being pulled toward the bed by Derek.
"Don't forget what I said okay, honey?"
"I won't…but you don't have to worry that I will. I want you inside my body the way you are already inside my heart." The last part Casey whispered as she took Derek's hand and rested it above her heart. Derek leaned down and took his other hand and raised her chin to meet his waiting lips.
"I love you so much, Case."
"I love you, too, Derek."
Derek applied more pressure to her lips as he ran both hands up and down her arms, running his finger tips along the exposed skin that her t-shirt allowed. His kiss was tender as Casey felt the moisture of his tongue touch her lips, asking for entrance which she gave almost immediately. She felt his tongue brush across hers for what seemed like the millionth time since they had met, but for some reason Derek almost seemed better since getting out their feelings. His kiss still made her knees weak, but there was a stronger emotion behind his kiss. It almost seemed like he was not just kissing her, but he was cherishing her. He was worshiping her with his mouth, his hands. He was going to make this beautiful for her. That is what made this different. Casey felt like she was floating on air and it was because of Derek's body so close to her that she couldn't touch it, but she could feel the heat of it tempting her to move the extra inch for the contact that she was starving for. She wanted Derek to feel what she was feeling so she moved so her legs were in between his with no space between their bodies.
Derek gasped at the contact. He could feel her entire body along his from her mouth on his lips to her breasts against his chest to her hips against his to her feet next to his. The contact of her body, knowing what was coming, had Derek's body reacting to Casey's proximity. He couldn't help pulling her waist against his, successfully grinding his ever growing erection into her stomach. Casey moaned at the contact, she loved that she was able to have such an effect on him. Derek took his hands from Casey's hips and trailed his finger tips under the hem of her shirt to touch the heated skin along her stomach up to her ribcage until he noticed a hitch in her breathing. At first he thought he had scared her, but when he opened his eyes and pulled back away from her face, he looked into her eyes and saw the lust there and knew that she was just as excited and nervous as he was.
Slowly, Derek pulled Casey's shirt over her head watching as her long brown hair fell around her shoulders after the garment was discarded. To him, she looked like the most beautiful woman in the world with her hair messy and looking at him with such devotion that his heart hurt. To make it fair Derek started pulling up his own shirt when Casey went to stop him. After seeing his face registering confusion, Casey smiled at Derek to let him know that she was okay.
"I want to do it…"
how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head
Slowly, Casey pulled Derek's shirt over his head making sure to brush her fingers along his exposed skin as she pulled the shirt up. Derek noticeable shivered to her touch and Casey smiled to herself, loving the effect her touch had on him. After his shirt had joined her on the floor, Casey looked into his eyes and loved the way he was looking at her: like she was the most beautiful person in the world and right now, she was. She smiled at him and raised herself to her tip toes and wrapped her arms around his neck and tentatively placed her lips against his. Without expecting it, Derek couldn't help himself from wrapping his arms around her waist and claiming her mouth as his. He knew now that this is what she wanted. She wanted him to love her just as much as he wanted her to love him in the most primitive and emotionally driven way. He frantically pushed his lips to hers, catching Casey's bottom lip and sucking it gently, hearing her moan in the process. The little sound had him hard in that second and he knew that if she asked him to he would stop, but he prayed to God that she didn't.
Her little noises gave Derek the courage to explore her body in ways that he had only dreamt about. He wrapped his arms completely around her torso as if he was hugging her leaving no room between their two bodies, and the feel of their skin again skin made the temperature in the room stifling. Derek pulled back a little to allow his hands to travel up her back and down to the small of her back and around to her stomach and up the sides of her simple white cotton bra giving Casey goose bumps as she felt his fingers brush the swells of her breast. His hands continued a similar path until he reached her back again and felt the clasp that would allow him to see all of the beauty of this wonderful girl in front of him. His hand stopped on it until Casey pushed her torso into his chest and made a sound that seemed to be a whimper and a moan at the same time. Successfully making Derek completely devoid of any shyness, he unclasped it and brought the straps down until it pooled at the floor between their feet. Derek moved back a little and sat on the edge of the bed and pulling Casey to him so her legs were standing in between his.
if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
the storminess will turn to light
"Case…you are...I can't believe…you're beautiful." Derek could say everything he wanted to say because honestly the words just wouldn't come out because there were no words to describe what he was feeling so he put it to actions instead.
Casey blushed at his statement and felt the fire in her stomach burn further as she watched his eyes travel over her exposed breasts. She felt the emptiness that needed to be filled by him and she couldn't help but rub her knees together in an attempt to give herself the friction that she desperately needed. She didn't want to rush him though, his slow tenderness was something that made her love him even more and she wanted this to be special. Even though another part of her wanted him to just take her…she felt like she couldn't want him anymore than she did right now…that was until he did what he did next.
if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
the storminess will turn to light
Derek leaned his head to her belly button and began apply slow, wet kisses on her stomach. Teasing her skin with his tongue and sucking at her skin as his lips would close. His lips kissed a trail up her torso between her full breasts aching to be touched, but he wouldn't do that yet…he wanted to wait…when he reached her collarbone Casey had began to sway so Derek steadied her with his hands on her waist and turned their bodies around so she had her back to the bed. He pushed softly so she would lie down and he immediately crashed his lips to hers once again allowing her tongue to tangle with his in a passionate display of dominance on her part. Derek had to internally chuckle at her want to control this situation, but he knew better. He brought his hands between them to undo her jeans and she didn't protest, thankfully. When he had unzipped them Casey lifted her hips to allow him to pull down the jeans and expose her matching simple white cotton panties that made Derek smirk in their simplicity. He loved that about her…she was so traditional that it was so cute. Then Derek got an idea and pulled Casey up so she was more in the middle of the bed and left her body and walked to the bedside table. Casey looked up and couldn't believe what he was doing.
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright
Derek quickly took his jeans off and grabbed a rose from the bouquet that he had picked earlier. He walked over to Casey and leaned over her body that had him holding his breath every time he looked at her…she was so perfect in every way. In that split second, he suddenly thought about what she had looked like when she got hurt and the image caused his eyes to sadden. Casey must have noticed because she brought her hand to his face attempting to wipe away the frown that now creased his forehead. Derek smiled at her allowing the thought to fade and only see the wonderful person in front of him. He brought that flower up toward her face and caressed the petals on the flower across her cheek and down her throat. Casey's breathing hitched in her throat knowing what he was doing.
The flower flowed across her chest and across her nipples hardening them further against the caress. Casey opened her legs waiting for a unknowing weight between them and brushed one leg against Derek's groin feeling his very hard arousal against her thigh. Derek groaned at the contact and had to close his eyes to get his breathing under control so he could finish what he started. When he opened his eyes again he let the flower pass her flat stomach and brush along her panty line and down between her legs. The feather-like touch caused Casey to moan loudly.
"God, Derek…please…please touch me…"
I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
Discarding the flower to the floor and laying his entire body over hers laying his arms around her head to keep the majority of his weight of her, he kissed her sweetly and quickly kissed down her jaw to her neck and sucking the sensitive skin where her neck met her shoulder causing her to arch her back before continuing his journey down her body. Finally, when he got to her chest did he allow his mouth to explore the peaks of her breast. He licked and sucked and nibbled each nipple until it was glistening and peaked in hardness, while his hand caressed the other breast. He then switched, giving the same treatment to the other breast. Casey's moans became more frequent and Derek didn't know how long he would last when he finally got inside of her. Just the sound of her moaning her name was enough to make his roll into the back of his head. He would do well by her though…he would make this good for her.
if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I see you
the storminess will turn to light
He continued down her stomach until he reached where her skin ended and her panties began. He looked at her face and saw her looking back at him. He held her eye contact while he slowly pulled down her last barrier. Casey laid her head back, closed her eyes, and whimpered at the rush of air against the hottest part of her body. She wanted him so bad that she thought she had never wanted anything so much in her life. She opened her eyes again when she felt his entire body lay on top of hers. Unconsciously, her hips lifted against his by their own volition and Derek gasped. Only then did Casey realize that Derek had also discarded his boxers and put on a condom. Derek leaned down and kissed her with all the emotion he had in him. She gave as much as she could back. Composing in that one kiss everything that words couldn't express about what was happening to them right now.
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
Casey closed her eyes as Derek lifted himself and she could feel the stiff hardness at her entrance. She knew to expect pain and she was fine with that. She was concentrating on it when Derek said her name.
"Look at me, Casey."
Casey opened her eyes and looked directly into his eyes when he finally entered her. The pain was quick and numbing. Casey couldn't help the yelp that came from her mouth and Derek immediately pulled her body against his and let her cry into his shoulder while he soothed her with encouraging words.
"I am so sorry, Case…I love you so much…it's okay…"
But in the time that the pain came it was gone and before she knew it, Casey was wiggling her hips trying to get the friction that she was still aching for. She wanted Derek to move and he took this as a sign to do so.
"Oh God, Casey, you need to stop that or this is going to be over too soon."
Immediately Casey stopped and waited for Derek to calm down enough before he pulled himself almost all the way out and pushed back in slowly at first so he could make sure the pain was gone. Casey felt the pleasure of his movement immediately and made sure he knew it with the little whimper that she didn't, couldn't hold back. Derek allowed him to speed up his pace a little at a time, but didn't expect it when Casey asked him to go faster.
"Oh Derek, please…faster…yes, please."
Since he couldn't ever really deny her anything, he obliged. He allowed himself to push into her with everything he had and hearing her moans and sounds of pleasure were music to his ears. He knew he couldn't last much longer, but he also knew that Casey was so close. So he decided to help her along a little.
"Case…I want you to cum for me…I want to here you say my name as you cum…"
"Oh, shit…Derek…I'm so close…"
Hearing her swear was so hot that Derek couldn't hold back…he knew he was on the edge. He quickly brought his hand between their joined bodied and rubbed the sensitive bunch of nerves, applying enough pressure that her body reacted immediately. Her muscles clenched and squeezed him bringing him over the edge with her.
and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
He collapsed on top of her for a second unable to disconnect his body from hers yet. Casey was perfectly content to have him close to her like this, but more quickly than she wanted, Derek pulled out of her satiated body. She moaned at the sensation a little and Derek discarded the condom in the can by the bed and laid back bringing Casey's body close to his. He brought her head against his chest and pulled her hip over his leg so she was as close as she could be without actually laying on top of him. He kissed the top of her head and Casey couldn't think of a time when she had been this happy. Derek couldn't imagine letting her go…she felt so perfect against him like this.
"I love you, Derek."
Derek brought his fingers under her chin and brought her eyes up to look directly into his. The look he gave her made her stop breathing…his eyes just radiated his emotions to her in that one look…she knew that his heart was hers and she knew that hers had belonged to him for as long as she could remember.
"I love you too, Casey…forever."
He leaned down and kissed my lips to seal the promise that forever was beginning for us at this moment. This perfect single moment that would last for an eternity in our hearts and in our souls.
I know everything is alright
everything's alright
AN: What did you guys think? That was OFFICIALLY my first lemon! I hoped you liked it…I wasn't sure if it was too long or if it wasn't long enough…please let me know how I can improve or what you liked and everything! I have been making the last couple chapters fluffy but don't you worry…the action will be coming up soon. I just wanted to really get them into the couple mode before all the drama begins to unfold. I promise there will be answers to the mysterious phone call and everything in the next chapter…
Thanks for reading and please review! I NEED to know what you think! And if you are wondering…the song is Storm by Lifehouse. I don't know if it completely fit here, but it is my new favorite song so I just had to put it in.