CHAPTER FOUR

Disclaimer: Neither the characters or locations are mine; they belong to J. K. Rowling and various affiliated companies. No plagiarism or copyright infringement is intended. All characters will be returned safe and sound with smiles on their faces and food in their bellies. :D

A/N: Sorry for the delay; life happens though.

Harry returned to the Potions class after dinner alone, much to the consternation of his friends. He knew he was going to pay; was counting on it in fact. Nobody humiliated Malfoy like that. Harry eased open the classroom door and saw Draco, bathed in moonlight, staring out the window. Harry gasped softly. Framed in the light like that Draco looked quite- No! No he does not. He looks like a, like a…ferret! Harry thought triumphantly, almost groaning when his subconscious pointed out that ferrets were actually quite cute. He then noticed Draco staring at him, an eyebrow raised quizzically. Humiliated, Harry decided it couldn't get any worse, but then realized he was blushing. Blushing in front of Draco bloody Malfoy.

'Let's just get on with this, ok?' He mumbled, hoping his face would soon return to normal.

What is happening? He thought.

'It's already done Potter. I'm sure you would've noticed had you not been staring at me.'

Harry felt his chest tighten.

'So, I'll go then.' He managed to croak out.

'No, Potter. I'm going to give you an extra lesson. Free of charge.' Draco said with an evil grin.

Harry entered the room, closing the door behind him and fighting with his subconscious over whether Draco looked good or not. He blinked slowly, realizing Draco had just asked him something.

'Huh?' Harry mumbled, feeling foolish.

Draco's mouth twisted into what Harry would've called a smile on anyone else.

'Just get the ingredients I tell you to.'

Harry stood before the door of the ingredients room, trying not to shudder. It would be darker than normal… He sighed, chewing his lip. He could feel Draco's eyes on his back as he pushed the door open with trembling hands, stepping inside. It took all his strength not to cry out in fear. He found the ingredients as Draco called their names, wishing he would just hurry up. He doesn't know you are afraid, Harry told himself, although it did seem Draco was taking twice as long as was necessary. Maybe that's just me. When no more names were called he stepped back into the main room, breathing a sigh of relief. Draco was staring at him, grinning wolfishly, his eyes hooded and legs spread as he sprawled seductively in Snape's chair. Harry stared momentarily, the items in his arms forgotten, falling to the floor. He tilted his head briefly, eyes still locked to Draco's, at the clatter. Merlin, I need him, he thought, and then, yeah, like I need another hole in the head. But that addition didn't seem to matter for his lips were on Draco's, one hand on his thigh, one entwined in his hair. Draco was astonished at the need, the longing…the pain in the kiss. As Harry's hand brushed his groin and he realized the state of his arousal he put shaky hands against Harry's chest and pushed him backwards gently. Harry's eyes widened at the shock of what he had done, searching Draco's for…he didn't know. He straightened his back, ran his hands through his hair and stammered 'I-I've gotta go' before fleeing the room. Draco sighed, perplexed. This won't do at all…

--

Blaise looked up as Draco entered the room and winced under the harsh gaze.

'What are you doing on my bed, Blaise?' Draco asked.

'Uh… You have a plan. I can tell.' Blaise responded, ignoring the question.

'Yes, my good man, I do.'

'Oh, I've never been a good man.' Blaise whispered, looking at Draco pointedly.

Draco felt the familiar heat rising in him but reminded himself that now was not the time.

'I need you to hit on Potter.' Draco said.

'Are you serious?'

'I thought you'd go for anything that moved.'

'I suppose he is kind of cute…' Blaise murmured.

'He most certainly is not. He'll probably be in the library tomorrow morning after breakfast as Trelawny's sick.'

'So soon?'

'I need to know if he's gay.'

'Why?'

Draco paused, thinking of an adequate excuse.

'I'm not tutoring him for free.' He finally hissed.

Blaise laughed nervously. There was something odd, almost feverish about Draco's eyes. Draco thanked the Lord of Small Mercies that Blaise wasn't that perceptive and crawled into his bed, pushing Blaise off in the process. He hated Harry…didn't he?

--

Harry awoke with a gasp, the memory of the night before fading into his subconscious. How could that insufferable git make him feel so much when all he felt otherwise was numbness? He had gone to bed last night fully intending to mend things with Ginny, but rememering the look on Draco's face and how it felt to kiss him sent shivers down his spine. He realized he was trembling. I need to talk to Hermione, he thought, creeping from his bed. He pulled some clothes on and snuck into her room, hissing her name. She sat up, clutching a sheet to her chest with the other.

'Mm...Harry?' she whispered.

'Yeah. Sorry to wake you but I needed to talk. Do you mind?'

'N-no. It's just early.'

Harry tried not to flinch at the hesitation in her voice.

'I know. Look, first let me say that I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately. I just...I've been having a hard time of things and I had to sort some stuff out.' It wasn't a lie...not really.

'It's ok Harry. But we're your friends. We could've helped you.'

'I really needed to deal with this on my own. But now I do have something I think you can help me with.'

Hermione looked intently at him, her interest piqued.

M'ione...I...there's this guy I know, right. And, anyway, this guy he thinks he might be gay, but he...he doesn't know if he is or not.'

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

'That would explain what happened between you and Ginny.' she said softly.

'Oh no, it's not...' Harry began protesting but knew it to be futile. 'Fine. But I don't know if I am or not. Please don't tell Ron.'

'I won't. But you should.'

'I know. I will. I have to figure it out first.'

'Hmm...maybe go talk to Seamus.' Hermione said, collapsing back onto the bed. 'Can I go back to sleep now?'

'Yeah. Thanks M'ione.' Harry whispered, noting with irony that he had just been passed off.

Harry returned to the boys dorms, wishing he'd been made a prefect, then he'd have his own room. But at least this way Ron wasn't around to question his actions. He crept to Seamus' bed and tapped him on the shoulder, waking him. Pressing a fingeer to his lips he indicated for the boy to follow him. Harry sat on the couch in the common room followed by a very tired looking Seamus.

'Harry? Do you have any idea what time it is?' Seamus asked groggily.

'I know. I'm sorry. But I couldn't sleep.'

'And you woke me why?'

'I...needed to talk to someone.'

'But why me?'

'Er, Hermione suggested it, actually.'

Seamus yawned and rubbed his eyes.

'Having a crisis?'

'I...er...'

Harry felt strange. Seamus was a friend, but...

'Spit it out mate, or can I go back to bed?'

'Wait, I...this is considerably harder than I thought it would be. Seamus, I, well...I need some advice.'

'Oh?'

'Yeah. Yeah. I...er...I know this is going to be awkward and wierd...but... How do you know if you are gay?'

Seamus frowned.

'Are you...?'

'I don't know! I'm so confused.' Harry rested his head on his hands.

'Harry, what did you feel when you were with Ginny?' Seamus asked softly.

'Nothing.' Harry mumbled.

'Have you kissed any blokes?'

Harry started to shake his head but then nodded, sighing heavily.

'I...this guy...he... I saw him tonight. And I...it felt...funny...'

'Funny?'

'Mm. I just...I don't know. It was just...wrong!'

'Is being gay that wrong?' Seamus asked, hurt creeping into his voice.

'No, Seamus, no. But...if I told you who it was you'd understand what I meant.'

'So tell me.'

Harry chewed his bottom lip. Could he? He didn't know what to do anymore.

'Promise you won't tell anyone else...please Seamus.'

'Ok Harry.'

'It...it was...Malfoy.' Harry blushed.

Seamus stared at him for a few moments.

'You kissed Malfoy? Oh Harry...he is gorgeous. But he's no good. Not just for you, for anyone.'

'I know that.' Harry said bitterly. 'But he's the only person who sees me for what I truly am. To him I'm no hero...and I need that.'

Seamus stared at his friend as he left the common room angrily, concerned that he was headed for trouble. No good could come of this.