NOTES: THIS CHAPTER IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ANY REVEALS MADE HERE ARE NOT TRUE, NOT REAL. READ ON TO CHAPTER 22 NEXT TO SEE FURTHER. READ THIS WITH A SENSE OF COMEDY. THIS POST WAS A MISTAKE AND I CORRECTED IT NEXT CHAPTER. READ ON AND TRUST ME. THANKS !
21
BPOV
Thursday, Day 11
Edward had been a bundle of nerves all night last night and he was no better off today. All he had been able to eat since I told him about his parents coming was Saltine crackers. He said he always feels nervous around them, even as a child, because it was a rarity that they ever came home.
I knew this was like another test for Edward. Every time they would come home, he would try to be what they wanted this time…hoping they'd accept him and love him…and they always left too soon. I could see he was doing that again…hoping they'd finally want him.
It was nice to see some hope in Edward's eyes…at last.
He had nightmares and he let me hold him, just like that first night I'd given him the nightshirt. We didn't make love or play any games that night. He really didn't look up to it with the mindset he was in. And he was apologizing all over the place but I told him to shut up…I told him I was tired and it was alright. Taking a night off doesn't make us any less lovers and I told him so. He seemed relieved by that and tried to get some sleep as he laid his face on my chest and I played with his hair, gently curling my other arm around him.
I hated hearing his dreams…he didn't tell me a lot about them but I figured some of them out.
"No, please…", he pleaded, panting for air, "Why? DAD!!"
That was the first one. I figured that was the night his parents met Tanya.
I talked him back to sleep and finally he went under again…and then this next nightmare came:
"Why are you doing this?!!", he cried, "What did I EVER do to you?!! Tanya is dead, PLEASE!! DAD!! She's just a baby, for CHRIST'S SAKE!! Killers are fucking following us, PLEASE – MOMMMM!!!!"
I had to shake him a few times to snap him out of that one. When he came to, his hands flung out and almost hit me and he was sweating…shaking…then crying and apologizing to me again.
I hated seeing him cry and I clung to him for dear life, wondering if having his parents over was a good idea at all now. Look what it was doing to him. But then the psychiatrist in me said – NO, Bella. Be tough. Edward has to face his pain and his demons. He's run from them for far too long. He must see this through. Just comfort him and be there for him. That's all you can do.
All in all, I think Edward got about…ten minutes of sleep that night. And now he was staring at the TV, watching cartoons and chomping on Saltines as it neared 1pm, the time they would be arriving.
He didn't say anything to me directly about it, but he went out at dawn and came back with five new outfits, and kept trying them all on, and changing them…and trying them on again.
He wants to make a good impression on them…and that gave me a little hope. He almost wore a tie and although he looked very GQ in it, I thought that was a little too much, so he changed again.
Finally, he stayed with a nice pair of gray slacks and a white button down shirt, long sleeved, the first two buttons opened. It looked dressy but at the same time, casual enough. He shaved very close and smelled awesome when he came out of the bathroom, complaining about his "fucked up" hair. I told him his fucked up hair is beautiful and not to mess with it. He wanted to gel it straight back so it looked "neater". I wouldn't allow that and hid his hair products.
Then I had to assure him six times that I could not see any of his lash marks through the white cotton of his shirt and he finally believed me and relaxed…sort of.
I kept gently assuring him that he didn't have to turn himself into something or someone else to impress them. They owed him the apologies, not the other way around. But I could understand his fears.
Finally, a knock gently tapped on the door and Edward leapt up and flung himself into the far corner of the living room, his arms crossed and his eyes down, looking away from the apartment door they were on the other side of. He was visibly trembling and trying to hide it.
"Edward…", I said, feeling my insides twist at his sudden stance of fear and defense…but he didn't look at me or even answer. He looked paralyzed with hurt.
"You can do this, Edward.", I whispered, as I backed myself towards the door, "I'm here with you…"
He didn't answer but I unlocked my door and opened it a crack, very nervous myself…but I had to shut that off now. I was needed here.
I saw a beautiful man's face above me and he gave a little smile. His white face was a lot like Edward's…but his nose was very different…elegantly chiseled to a sharp little point, soft, curved looking cheekbones and honey blonde hair, perfectly combed back. And a pair of butterscotch golden-brown eyes gleamed at me. He wore a very nice looking dark gray suit and a tie and I felt scared now that I told Edward no tie.
"Miss Swan?", he asked and I felt myself like him right away. If I were a new patient of his, I would trust him. That's only my first impression of the man at face value, though. I knew enough from Charlie to realize appearances lie sometimes.
"Yes.", I smiled.
"I am Carlisle Cullen.", he said and I could hear Edward breathing heavier in the corner behind me, "And this is my wife, Esme Cullen."
At this, she came out from behind him and this lovely, classy lady stepped forward. Her hair was swept up in an elegant twist and it was a rich, reddish-brown color that was not exactly like Edward's shade, but in the same neighborhood as that.
She, too, got all dressed up and had pearls around her neck and wore a pretty lavender dress, matching pumps too. Her makeup was flawless and her face looked so young…plastic surgery probably. But I saw what Edward meant. She looked perfect...and too perfect. A little child could never touch someone this put together…she looked very…unhuggable.
"Hello, Miss Swan.", her voice was like an angel's…dripping with care, "Thank you so much for calling."
I knew Edward could hear them inside and I didn't want to prolong his misery, but before I let them in I wanted to ask some things first.
"No problem.", I grinned weakly, glancing back at Edward. His eyes were still looking out the window down at the street outside, although I knew he was listening to every word and screaming on the inside.
"Before you come in.", I said in a hushed voice, "Edward is inside. I hope you know this is very hard for him. Please…don't try to hug him just yet, at first…and…please let him say what he has to say. And give him time…to say it."
I saw Esme nod at me, her eyes intent on mine and listening carefully. Carlisle gave a quick nod and looked away, behind him. Avoidance. Like father, like son.
"Come in, please.", I opened the door all the way and let them slowly step inside.
They saw Edward there in the corner and he still made no effort to turn towards them or even look into the room we were standing in.
Carlisle and Esme looked at him with no words…and Esme looked very sad. Carlisle licked his lips, swallowed and just stood there, in the kitchen area, not daring to move too close to their son.
I would have to break the ice a little here.
"I'm sorry it's not very big.", I tried to sound light, "I'm in college nearby and I don't need much room."
"No, it's lovely here, Miss Swan.", Esme complimented.
"Oh, please, call me Bella.", I said, "Would you like anything? Coffee…or tea?"
"No thank you, Bella.", Carlisle said kindly.
"Well, why don't we all sit down and I can explain a little bit about who I am?", I offered.
They moved towards the sofa and sat down side by side. I sat in my chair and looked over at Edward. The only place left to sit was next to his mother on the sofa…but he was still in the corner, looking like a punished little boy.
I cleared my throat and Edward's eyes squinted at me, a glint of anger there that almost stunned me for a second…and then he looked out the window again.
"Edward may sit down later.", I said to them, trying to grin but they seemed to understand.
I had previously gotten rid of all Edward's tapes and my notebooks, not wanting them in view or even in danger of being heard by his parents.
"My name is Bella, as you know," I began, "And I major in psychiatry at New York University. I am working on my thesis and Edward, being a friend of mine, volunteered to be my subject. So we have been talking a lot about his past…and I thought it would be good for Edward and yourselves…to talk and perhaps resolve some things."
God, how much truth did I leave out of that paragraph? It doesn't matter. If Edward wants to tell them about his life, he will tell them, not me. I'm certainly not going to tell them their son is a male prostitute and a sex slave to boot.
Well, not yet anyway.
Maybe Edward was afraid I'd tell them. He should know me better than that by now.
"Well, that makes sense.", Carlisle glanced at his son's back and then to me, "I wasn't sure who you were when Joseph informed me of your call."
"Maybe you should've picked up the phone yourself then and called back.", Edward's voice seethed as he spoke from gritted teeth but his body didn't move and his eyes were still outside.
Oh, good. Communication.
Carlisle looked at Esme and then down at his folded hands, frowning a little.
"Edward…", I said his name gently, "Would you like to join us, please, and sit down?"
A long pause went by and then he sneered, "No."
I looked at them and decided that if I talked enough, eventually, Edward would get in this conversation. And his parents weren't leaving here until he got it together and said what he had to say…and got his answers in return.
"Edward has been through a lot.", I began, "And he has a lot of anger…when it comes to you. It's hurting him, still. Maybe…if you said something first…it would help him."
I put the ball in their court now and watched to see if they truly cared.
Esme spoke first.
"We haven't been…", she looked down, "..very good parents to Edward. I know that…I've always known that. We're almost strangers and that hurts me every single day. You probably know him better than we do."
I could see Edward's face and his eyes were so cruel now, his jaw clenched…his fists balled under his arms that crossed even tighter now. It wouldn't be long before he spoke up. I think it'll take his father's voice to get him talking. So I asked him the next question.
"Dr. Cullen…", I said, "What happened between you?"
He looked at his son's back again and sighed.
Then he said, "Bella…I know you are Edward's friend…and are trying to help him. But I can't speak about that. Perhaps, if we could have some time alone with Edward…we could—"
"Fuck YOU!!", Edward spun towards them suddenly, and it made me jump in surprise, as it did them. His face was full of rage and his eyes hard as stone, his fists clenched at his sides as he mostly shouted at his father, "Anything you need to say to me, you can say in front of Bella!! She's been there for me more than you have, and she's known me for ten whole days!! I don't WANT to be in a room alone with EITHER of you! My skin is crawling now that you're HERE! So you can answer her questions…or get out now! This wasn't MY idea."
Edward is getting very good at expressing his anger. I wish I could see him do that to Victoria.
"Edward…please…", I stood up and took his hands in mine, whispering, "Please, here…sit in my chair, alright? I'll sit on the sofa."
I sat him in my chair and he looked relieved not to be very close to them as I sat next to his mother.
Looking at the floor again, Edward clenched his jaw and fists, looking like an angry statue.
"We will answer your questions.", Esme said, to me and shot her husband a stern look, "Answer her, Carlisle."
"It will be very difficult…for either of you to hear…or believe, I'm afraid.", Carlisle began, "But I will be as honest as I can."
"Edward…told us that he met a wonderful girl in college.", Carlisle said, "And he wanted us to meet her. We were glad. Edward never much dated in high school and always kind of kept to himself. We did…want to meet her and we invited them to dinner one weekend."
Carlisle hesitated and Edward's eyes kept their wicked stare on my carpet, looking as still as a crocodile waiting to snap at any second.
"Just say it, Carlisle.", Esme looked at her husband, "There's no easy way to do it. You promised."
"Esme, please.", Carlisle looked at her, "I am trying."
"Edward…", Carlisle looked at his frozen son, hoping to reach him vocally, "We had every intention of welcoming Tanya into our family. We truly did. But something happened. Something I never thought would happen."
He paused again and suddenly looked nervous and afraid, too. I braced myself for whatever he was going to say. Edward didn't move…he looked chiseled out of porcelain.
"When Tanya came into the house…", Carlisle took another breath, "When I…(he swallowed hard)…inhaled her scent…I nearly lost my sanity."
Huh? This has something to do with Tanya's perfume?
Even Edward's eyes raised up to his father and they looked as confused and lost as mine.
"I'm lost.", I said it, knowing Edward wouldn't.
"I'm…not well.", Carlisle said, "I have had mental problems for years and years…and voices in my mind…were telling me to hurt Tanya that night."
"Carlisle!", Esme gritted her teeth and her regal composure began to crack.
"Stop lying to him, Carlisle!", Esme demanded, "Tell him the truth…or I will. Look at all the ruined lives our silence has brought!"
Carlisle looked up and made eye contact for the first time with his estranged son and decided to come clean, at last.
"Alright.", Carlisle said right to Edward, "The truth…finally. Edward…your mother and I…we are vampires."
They didn't say anything for a few moments and I frowned at them, not liking their jokes while their son wanted real answers. I looked at Edward and he just stared his father down, an unholy glare that raged between them.
"You should've stuck with your mental problem story, it was more believable.", Edward said without emotion.
"I told you he wouldn't believe us.", Carlisle sighed at his wife.
"That's why you have to explain it, CARLISLE.", she was getting angry now and gave her husband a hard shove.
"When I was born, my mother died in childbirth. My father was on a trip when that happened and for most of my childhood, I was left with nannies and butlers, and he was always gone, on business, I was always told. I never knew much about the man…except that he was rich and hardworking…and never there."
"Hey, it sounds just like my childhood.", Edward faked a childlike voice, filled with surprise, but his face was still scary and glaring at his father.
"I know that, Edward.", he admitted, "I never wanted to be that kind of father and I always told myself that when I had children, I would be there and raise them and play with them…and know everything about them."
Edward scoffed and gave a wicked laugh that gave me chills. Remind me never to get Edward pissed off.
Esme looked even sadder than before as she stared at her son but she nudged Carlisle to keep talking.
"When I met your mother, I was done with college and Medical school. I was already a doctor. We fell in love and got married within a year after meeting…and we wanted to have a big family. We got right to work and had you, Edward. And we were so happy with you."
"You were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.", Esme cut in, needing to say this, "And so happy…you smiled two days after you were born…even though they say babies can't do that…you did…you smiled at me…that cute, almost crooked smile…and since that moment, I knew I'd die for you."
I know what you mean, I heard myself think to her, he did it to me, too.
"Mother, spare me please.", Edward's voice was so ice cold and his expression matched his voice.
Esme looked down and stopped talking but Carlisle spoke up now.
"Edward, don't speak to your mother that way.", Carlisle frowned a little, defending his wife.
"Why not?", he snapped at his father, leaning forward a little and tilting his head to the side, "Because she's been so good to me? Because she's my…(he gave a little laugh, looking her up and down)…Mommy? The last thing she did for me was to PUSH, so don't tell me how to talk to HER. She's not my mother! Katherine is my REAL mother. She played games with me, SHE cooked for me and fed me, and SHE…loved me. If I would've ever been allowed to speak with HER after I was disowned, I would speak with love and respect to HER. But you even took her away from me."
"Just explain, Carlisle.", Esme clenched her fists a little now, reminding me of Edward as Carlisle put aside his frustration and spoke again, getting back to his story.
"After you were born, my father sent me a letter and invited all of us to his estate so he could meet his grandson. I thought it was a little odd, but we planned to go. At the last minute, you came down with a little cold and we nearly cancelled the whole trip. But then, your mother thought it was important that we try to make peace with him, try to let him come into our lives. Esme's parents died when she was younger so you didn't have much family. She wanted you to have a grandpa…and she wanted me to have my father, even if it was a little late."
"Katherine and Joseph stayed with you, Edward…", Carlisle said, "And your mother and I went to visit my father."
Esme held Carlisle's hand, giving him support as I looked over at Edward. He didn't look very impressed by this story yet…and neither was I, really. But I waited.
"When we got there," Carlisle said, "It was explained to me by my father, that the Cullen family has a very long history…of vampirism. To keep our bloodline going, it is their tradition that when they have a child they raise it as a human and when that child grows and has a mortal child of their own…it is time for them to take their place in the vampire world. I was now a parent of a son…and my father told me…it was time to take my place. And…he attacked me. He…bit me…several times."
Edward sighed, rolling his eyes and muttered to me, "Bella, you must have a speed dial to the nearest psych ward, don't you, being a future psychiatrist?"
"You wanted answers, Edward.", Carlisle frowned and became very stern now, "These are the answers. Throw us out if you like afterwards, but listen until I'm done."
Edward crossed his arms and regarded his father without a shred of belief, but he listened.
"My father would've spared your mother the burden of being a vampire. He intended to leave her human and to send her back to raise you to manhood. But, later, when he told her about what he'd done to me, your mother fought back and demanded to know where I was."
"I was on the other side of the mansion, starting my transformation. It takes about three days to become a full vampire. It was incredibly painful and I was bound down and screaming…my father tried to lock Esme up in her room for the three days until my change was over. But he underestimated her resolve. She broke out in the middle of the night and found me. Unfortunately, for her…I had just become a newborn vampire…and my father was nowhere to be found."
"Maybe he hoped I would feed on her and he wouldn't have to worry about her fighting back anymore. Maybe he thought if I killed her myself, I would have nothing else to live for and wouldn't fight taking my place in his world. I don't know. But when Esme freed me, she had no idea what a mindless, thirsty creature I was at the time. I bit her…I drank her…and I nearly killed her. Well, actually, I did…kill her."
"This is worse than that Lestat movie.", Edward looked at me, commenting.
Carlisle's eyes flashed angrily at his son's now, not getting any sympathy from Edward as he spoke of his wife's near death experience. I kept thinking they were going to say, 'You've been punked!' at any moment now and Ashton Kutcher would come flying in, laughing and pointing at us all.
"My father showed up at that moment and began congratulating me for joining the vampire race.", Carlisle looked disgusted, remembering, "And I begged him to save Esme. I realized, too late, what I had done. And I swore to him that I would do what he asked, taking my place in his sick little world, if he'd save her. He told me she would live…but as a vampire. It was too late to save her mortal life. She'd lost too much blood. So we sat and watched your mother change for the next three days."
"Our lives were over.", Carlisle said, sounding very sad now, "We weren't worried about ourselves…we were thinking about you, Edward. My father told us we couldn't go near you again, not for a few years, until we learned how to control our thirst. It killed us…but we didn't want to endanger you. We lived in my father's house, learning his ways. Learning our new roles in this life he forced upon us. You see, the Cullens have always been judges for our kind throughout the centuries. It is our duty, delivering justice to…vampires that break our laws…disobey our rules. My father taught me everything he knew…and intended for me to take his place one day."
"I didn't want that.", Carlisle went on, "I wanted to keep being a doctor. I worked in secret to try and overcome my thirst…to resist human blood. Esme and I hated killing…I was born to be a healer, not a murderer. We began to survive by drinking the blood of animals. We always called you and made sure you were being cared for…we told only Joseph and Katherine what had happened to us. We trusted them only. They vowed to love you as we would…and they did, as you pointed out a minute ago."
"All the time, we missed you so much…we tried to come home…to see if our thirst was under control. You had gotten so big…you were walking all by yourself and talking…we missed all that and it killed us, especially your mother. That first time back home, you were a toddler, and you didn't even know us, really. But your mother tried to give you a hug…she wasn't ready to be near you yet. She pushed you away a little too hard and you cried…you were scared, not hurt. And that was probably your first memory of your mother. We had to get out of there, fast. We were both very tempted by not only your blood, but of Joseph's and Katherine's blood, too. We needed more time…we had to leave you again for awhile longer."
"Many times, we tried to come back and see if we could stand being close to you.", he said, careful not to make it sound like an insult, "Close to any humans, I mean. We sent you gifts on your birthday and once we sat outside the window, watching you on your 5th birthday…but we still weren't ready to come in and be near all the other children and you…and again…we were destroyed that we couldn't be part of your life, Edward. If nothing else, I hope someday you can believe that. We weren't having fun, going on trips all over the world without you. We suffered every day without you. We loved you…we still do."
Esme never cried but looked like she wanted to. Edward didn't move an inch.
"We did come around more after you turned eight.", Esme offered, "At that point, we could be in the room with you and we were in control. But…you were so affectionate…even though you didn't really know us…you wanted to. You were always after me, wanting hugs and kisses…wanting me to play with you…and I know I pushed you away a lot…almost always. And your sad little face would break my heart. (she was making sobbing sounds but no tears came). I wanted you, Edward…I did! But I always wanted to…I loved you too much…and that made me love the scent of you and your blood too much as well. It was so hard for me…I tried to resist it…but it's so strong."
Edward's face wasn't so cruel now…it softened a little…but he still avoided eye contact with her…I thought maybe he was feeling something, hearing his mother's emotional words, but he didn't show it clearly.
"I tried to spend some quality time with you, then, too.", Carlisle looked down, ashamed, "But you only seemed to want your mother. I know you were angry with me, thinking I was stealing your mother away from you. And I didn't blame you. I tried to talk to you a couple of times…but there was no way to explain this to you then. You were a little boy. We thought we could keep it all a secret from you. At first, we didn't want to scare you away from us. We wanted to try to build a relationship with you. Then, later…we were…afraid you would reject us or be disgusted by us."
"As if I ever had a chance to reject YOU.", Edward said with a dark voice, "You were both so busy rejecting me. Maybe, just maybe, at that point in my life…I would've accepted you…even as…vampires…as long as it meant you WANTED me. But you never seemed to want me. Ever. God, how I waited and wished to see some shred of WANT in your eyes when you came home! But it was never there. And it's not there even now."
Edward leapt up from the chair and glanced at me, walking into the kitchen and taking a bottle of water out of the fridge, needing a little break from this and them.
I couldn't tell if he was upset or crying, he just seemed very angry to me and that was perfectly normal. He was doing well now, voicing his pain.
I still don't believe this whole vampire nonsense. This has to be some kind of joke or something. Did Edward believe them? Should I call some men in white coats?
My psychiatry training told me…humor them. Let them tell their story, no matter how insane…and see where it goes.
Esme looked at me and suddenly I felt a little scared. I peeked at her from behind my hair and shuddered a bit.
"We're alright now.", Esme assured me, "We have our thirst under control. We wouldn't hurt you, either of you."
At this, Edward rushed into the living room and yanked me off the sofa away from his mother, pushing me behind him as he frowned down at them. Esme looked very hurt at this action of her son's.
"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward didn't turn to look at me as he watched them, "I didn't mean to leave you alone with the monsters, here."
"You don't have to insult us, Edward.", Carlisle kept his seat and temper, "We know you're angry with us, but—"
"Angry doesn't even cover it, DRACULA!", Edward shouted, "I'd have to forgive a thousand things you've done to GET to be just ANGRY!"
"Do you at least believe us, Edward?", Carlisle asked, curiously.
"That you're vampires?", he squinted, "No. I also don't believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, or Rudolph the red nosed reindeer! I think you two are on something very heavy and I want you out of here before I call a cop. When you're ready to talk seriously, write me a letter."
"Edward," I said, "You should at least hear what they have to say."
"They're mocking me, Bella!", he shouted in my direction, turning to me, "Worse, they're mocking Tanya and Katie!"
"I'll do it, Carlisle.", Esme pushed him down with her dainty fingers and stood up, going over to the window, pulling up the blinds, letting the sun glare inside.
Both Edward and I stopped in mid sentence and stared at her, mouths open. She was glowing…no…sparkling…and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, besides Edward.
"Look at my face, Edward.", Esme said, "Look at your father's face…closely. We don't have any wrinkles…no gray hair…not one single thing that makes us look a day older than we were in our twenties. This is what happens to our skin when the sun touches us…"
She looked around outside the window and with one finger gracefully moved it up, opening it.
"No one's looking.", Esme smirked to her husband and went out onto the fire escape…then jumped off it.
"MOM!!", Edward's eyes bugged out and he lunged towards the window, stumbling out onto the fire escape as I grabbed him, afraid he'd go after her off the edge.
"Oh my GOD!", I screamed, thinking she'd killed herself…and I tried to look and see if her body was laying down on the street…but it wasn't. She was standing down there, shielding her eyes, smiling up at us, not a scratch on her.
"I didn't even break my heels.", she said proudly, then bent her knees and sprang up, standing like a graceful bird on the iron ledge of the fire escape balcony, smiling down at her son's flabbergasted face.
"You called me Mom.", she said, looking as if she had received the greatest gift in the world.
I yanked Edward back in the window, stunned, but able to say one thing.
"I believe them, Edward…", I breathed.
"So do I, Bella.", he whispered back, almost landing on his ass on the floor as his mother entered the room again, smiling to herself.
"Stay back!", he pointed at Esme, standing in front of me, protecting me, "Sit over there! Don't come close!"
Esme put her hands up, allowing us our fear and didn't take any offense.
"Alright, alright…", she agreed, "I'm sitting over here. We won't hurt you. We came to explain things…there's a lot more to say."
"Get a crucifix.", Edward shoved me towards the bathroom behind him.
"Where the hell am I going to get a crucifix out of the bathroom?!", I squeaked, "What do you want me to do, tie our toothbrushes in a cross with some dental floss?!"
"I don't know…get it from anywhere!", he said, clearly still very shaken by seeing his mother plunge to her death…then coming back up again.
"I don't have any crucifixes!!", I held his arm for a moment, trying to make myself brave again as his parents smiled at us, "I'm trying to discover God in my own way."
"Jesus!", he growled.
"Yea, him, too.", I added as Edward turned to me with a lethal look in his eyes.
Edward looked at his parents and took a breath, saying, "Wait."
He went to the kitchen and dug around in my drawers there. In a minute, he came back with two wooden spoons rubber banded together in a cross, holding it in front of him as his parents broke out in a laugh.
"He always was cute.", Esme said, remembering him as a boy.
"And very creative, too.", Carlisle grinned.
"I don't think they're afraid of you, Edward.", I informed.
"We won't hurt you.", Esme said again, "Really. Please, Edward…don't be afraid of us. We have waited a long time to have a chance to tell you everything."
"Let's sit down, Edward…and hear what they have to say…okay?", I asked him, feeling his hand curl around mine.
"Fine.", he didn't take his eyes off them, as if waiting for them to attack at any moment.
He moved to the chair, pulling me behind him and before I knew it, we were both sitting in the big chair, squished together, not wanting to be apart now…and neither of us wanting to sit on the sofa next to Esme.
Again, his parents giggled at us as Edward placed his spoon crucifix on the coffee table close by, in case he needed it again.
I had to get back into my Dr. Bella mode and help Edward get the information he had needed for so long. I just never dreamed in a million years this would all be because Edward's parents were…vampires!
God, my grade is going to be in the toilet now. James would never buy it.
"Alright.", I said as Edward stared at his parents with huge eyeballs, "So…let's say we believe you…that you are…vampires. That might explain your absence while Edward was growing up…but then when he was in college…when he was nineteen, and wanted to introduce you to Tanya…what happened then? You said you got your thirst under control…were you a doctor then?"
Carlisle smiled at me and said, "Yes, I was surprised to find that I could be a doctor. At first, I was a doctor of science and worked in labs by myself…working in my spare time on a serum I could drink that would make it…easier for me to resist a mortal's blood. I was able to operate on people and be a surgeon by the time Edward was in college."
"I thought I was strong.", Carlisle frowned at his fingers, "I was cocky and thought I could throw parties full of mortals and not be bothered by it. And then…we invited you and Tanya to dinner that night."
"As I said before…", Carlisle looked ashamed as he talked, "When Tanya came in, her scent was…too powerful…for me. I fell in love with it…vampires call it…her blood…sang to me."
"Are you saying you had the hots for my girlfriend?", Edward frowned, repulsed.
"Not exactly.", Carlisle looked at Esme, almost for help, "It's a very rare thing, this blood singing to a vampire. Sometimes it never happens. I thought it was a myth. But I found out…it isn't. I wanted to kill her, Edward. I wanted to drink her blood…so badly…I almost couldn't resist it. And for a split second, I didn't care about you…your mother…or Tanya…or anyone…I just had to have it. That's how powerful it was."
Edward seemed to be thinking as he listened to his father in silence. I myself remember Edward telling me his father looked sick when he met Tanya and had to leave the room for a long time.
"I tried to come back in the dining room, for you, Edward.", Carlisle said, "I could see how much you loved her…and I didn't want to hurt you…and I could see I already was. I didn't want to lose you, just as we were beginning to start to have some kind of father/son bond. I tried to sit there and pretend to eat…but I couldn't do it. I kept dreaming of lunging across the table and having her, even if it meant I had to hurt you to get to her. So I ran out of the room and hid in my study like a coward."
"I wasn't in my right mind when I called you in that night, Edward.", he stated, "I was losing my sanity fast…and the only way I could think to make you get out and take her with you – to save her life – was to say those things I said. At first, I hoped she wasn't a serious girlfriend and when you said you wanted to marry her…I panicked."
"I knew if you married her, I could never see you again. We would lose you all over again. Eventually, the temptation would get too great…and I would eventually kill her – and maybe even, you too, if you had gotten in the way. So I threatened you…I made you choose. And Edward, I know you won't believe this…but I was so proud of you that night. You stood up to me like a man and you chose the woman you loved. And you walked out of the only life you'd ever known. That takes guts, Edward. And I knew…it wasn't because of me you had that courage…Joseph raised you, with Katherine…but still…I was never more proud of you."
Edward's eyes were a strange mixture now of sadness…and anger…
"And to protect my girlfriend you also withdrew my college payments, put me on the streets with no where to live, and crushed my dreams of becoming a doctor.", Edward added, "Boy, Dad, you are one swell guy."
"Edward.", Carlisle clenched his fists, "Your grandfather…has the gift of mind-reading…knowing things…it skipped over me…and may be inside you…but, a week before you brought Tanya over, he called me. He said he's glad you found someone. He's the one who really told me first you had a girlfriend. He said he was anxious to meet you. And he wanted to start grooming you…teaching you…your job. So that after you had your first child, you could become vampire and take over your duties right away. With me, it was years before I could really judge other vampires. He didn't want to make that mistake twice. He told me to bring you to him. He told me you were going to be very special to our kind."
"Very special?", I asked, feeling violently ill suddenly, then I looked at Edward and whispered, "That's what Victoria called you…you said."
"I know.", he gritted through his teeth, making a weird face at me.
Esme and Carlisle exchanged looks but didn't say anything yet about what we said to each other.
"Anyway…", Carlisle continued, "When you said you wanted to marry Tanya, and in addition to the whole blood singing thing, I decided that I had to do whatever I could to hide you from him. I never intended on making you a vampire. I wanted you to have a happy, normal life."
"I told my father I didn't want to turn you at all. And that you wanted to be a doctor, like me. He said they'd come get you and do it to you themselves if they had to. So I had to cut all ties with you. Even financially, if I wrote you a check or even mailed a money order to you, my father would read that in my mind…and find you."
"I told my father that you ran away and that I had no idea where you went. And since I truly didn't know, he could read my mind and know I was telling the truth. They searched for you all the time but I watched them. Whenever they got too close to the area I suspected you were in, I diverted them. I learned to train my mind to believe things like…you mailed me a letter from Tennesee, or you called me from Mexico. It worked for a couple years…but then, my luck ran out."
"I told your father they'd never stop looking for you.", Esme piped in, looking aggravated, "You were the only link to making sure their vampire bloodline lived on. They weren't about to give you up. And also, Carlisle's father saw you were destined for greatness. He said you would be vampire royalty, more powerful than Aro!"
"What's an Aro?", Edward squinted, unimpressed.
Carlisle smiled at his son's ignorance of the vampire world, happy that he was all human, and informed, "He's just a very important person in our world, that's all."
"So, once again, you explain away all the things you did to me.", Edward still sounded very bitter, "I guess that makes it alright that I had to eat from garbage cans and sleep in the fucking cemetery!"
Edward gave a little laugh, "Too bad the vampires didn't just look for me there with all the other stiffs, they could've had me easy!"
"Well, it was smart that you stayed in New York and didn't have any real address.", Carlisle said, "They didn't believe we were dumb enough to hide you right under their noses."
"You didn't HIDE me anywhere!", Edward shouted, "You just threw me out like garbage and never cared where I was or what I was doing!"
"We DID care!", Carlisle raised his voice, "We were trying to save your life. We knew it would be hard…and that you'd hate us…but we did it for you, hoping that someday, we could…"
"What?", Edward sneered, "Come back into my life and send me to college later, after the threat of Vampire Grandpa went away?"
"We found out about you getting married.", Esme decided to change the subject…but I winced, knowing Edward wouldn't smile and say anything nice to her in response to that remark.
Edward's eyes burned crueler now at her and he frowned as he said, "Yea, it was nice of you to come. We got married in the police station with two fucking witnesses as our guests. No one from my side of the family!"
"Well, unfortunately, that's when my father found out, too, by reading Esme's thoughts when she read about it in the paper. That's when a full-out battle began between my father and I. He had tons of vampire allies on his side…I had a few very good friends on my side."
"For months, he tried to win me over to join him in training you, getting you back.", Carlisle informed, "But I never considered it. My father didn't want a war with me, but he said he'd do it if I didn't give you over soon. We fought for months about it, always verbally, we hadn't fought physically…until my father found out where you were…and that you were to have a child soon. Then the gloves were off."
"I even contacted Tanya's parents and, without telling them anything about us, I suggested he have you all move out to Florida near him. But he said things with his factory weren't going very well, and he didn't know if he could offer you much financial help…and that Tanya was determined to make something of herself in New York. So that plan didn't go very well."
Edward scowled, "Don't even TRY to put down Tanya's parents. They didn't have much but they always helped us when they could and were always there on Thanksgivings and Christmases, they were at the hospital when Tanya gave birth to Katie, and they were her grandparents when you…were once again…not there. Maybe they couldn't give us money…not that you ever did…but they gave us something more than money…they gave us family. And even with all your Halloween stories, it doesn't explain why you never gave a damn about me! It doesn't explain why you never loved me!"
"Edward…", Carlisle's face was sullen, "Where is Katie now? Are you giving her all your time and attention?"
"Don't you even SAY her NAME, you FUCK!", Edward stood up, in a rage now.
"Hey!", I shouted at Carlisle, standing in front of and defending Edward, "Don't you EVEN go there! It's because of you two slamming the door in his face that he had to have Ben and Angela take Katie in! If you would've helped him when he needed you…"
"Do you know how hard we fought to keep my father's hands off Edward once Kaitlyn was born?", Carlisle looked full of fire now, "Battles went on in the dead of night in the middle of New York that you don't know anything about to protect Edward and his family. A couple of my friends died in those battles…some were tortured and jailed…and still are! Don't say that I wasn't there when you needed me, Edward. I was…you just never knew it."
Edward just stared at them without words, his eyes still ablaze with hardness.
"When I heard about the fire…", Carlisle began as Edward clutched at his hair, turning away from Carlisle as he spoke while I just glared at him, "I couldn't find my men anywhere."
"What men?", I asked.
"The ones that stood guard on your apartment building that night.", Carlisle looked up and saw Edward's head spin towards him, his eyes wide.
"There were guards there that night?", he breathed.
"Every night, Edward.", Carlisle gave a nod, "I never left you unprotected."
"I still don't know if they turned on me…", Carlisle said, "Or if they were taken against their will…or killed…but…my guards vanished into thin air, five good and strong vampires. I don't know if that fire was an accident…or not. So I don't want to make up stories…but…"
Edward looked lost in his thoughts, his eyes blank as he grabbed his hair again.
"So…wait…", I said, putting my arm around Edward to keep him calm, "What happened the night he came to your house then, with Katie?"
Carlisle let out a hard breath and Esme put a hand over her mouth, looking very upset.
"Edward…", Carlisle gave a stern look into his son's face, "Tanya was my singer…and her daughter's scent had five times the power that her mother's did. I could smell her coming from a mile away and I was salivating!! Joseph and Katherine had that night off and I was so thirsty for Kaitlyn's blood it was crippling me! I had to make Esme go to the door and tell you to go away. She hated me for making her do that, but she was doing it to save her granddaughter…and you, Edward. I had to lock myself in our panic room so I wouldn't break out there and take her from you. That's when I told you to get away over the intercom. That was absolutely…the worst night of my life…hearing you screaming…begging me for help…I heard you and Kaitlyn crying…and I wanted to die right there on the spot. And Esme did, too…we almost broke up over that. I called in my best men to make sure you were safe when you left that night…and the next morning they said the little girl was taken on a plane to Florida. And I thought you went with her. I thought you were safely with Ben and Angela."
"But if Vampire Grandpa could read minds…surely he'd come find me over there.", Edward squinted, still angry and cold.
"No.", Carlisle looked down at his hands and added, "I killed Vampire Grandpa that night. I didn't have proof of it, but in my mind, he killed Tanya…he almost killed Kaitlyn…he was trying to take everything away from you so you'd be weak and easily taken. But I stopped him. We killed some of his men in the process…and as a judge, I executed a good number of them. I even have some in prison for life. Which brings me to now."
Then Carlisle looked up and stared at Edward, not saying anything. Esme looked at Edward, again, as if she'd cry any second…but didn't.
"What?", Edward snapped at them.
"Edward…please sit down.", Carlisle suggested with a caring voice, his eyes tender, "Please talk to me. I know you have no reason to trust me…but you can."
I did agree Edward should sit down before he fell down…this was all so much to take…and I couldn't believe it, but Carlisle had managed to explain everything.
I hugged Edward and slowly helped him back into the chair alone this time, as I stood beside it and stroked the back of his hair.
"You should be fairly safe now.", Carlisle informed, "So…how are you doing, Edward?"
"Fine.", he lied, "Katie is safe and I'm fine."
"Edward!", I hit him in the back of his head and he growled at me, repeating, "I. Am. Fine."
"You are NOT fine!", I argued with him, "After all the things your father has told you…you're going to lie to him now?"
"You truly believed all that CRAP?!", Edward seethed at his parents.
"It's not CRAP, Edward, it's the TRUTH!", Carlisle shouted, standing up.
"I don't give a FUCK!", Edward shouted, tears in his eyes, "I don't want you, I don't NEED you, and nothing has changed!! You turned your backs on me my whole life and I HATE YOU BOTH!! Maybe your fucking GUARDS are the ones that killed my family!! It's all because of you!! I want you out now!!"
"Edward, wait!", I stood behind him, touching his back lightly as he started to throw them out.
They didn't know what Edward's life had become…or they were asking. Victoria had to know, too, what Edward was…she called him very special, like Carlisle's father did. She didn't just choose Edward for his looks, she wanted the special, future vampire prince he would become someday…and also, she owned him through that weird blood ritual Edward had told me about. What did that ritual mean? And how could we free him now?
This is what I hoped Carlisle would be able to tell us….but now that he was asking Edward about his life today…Edward was afraid. Afraid to reveal what he had become in these last years…afraid to be rejected by his parents once more…so instead, he was rejecting them first for a change.
"GET OUT!!", Edward pointed to the door and Carlisle was shouting and so was Esme….this was utter madness! I just want to know how to save the man I love, DAMMIT!!
"He's a SLAVE!!", I shouted out at the top of my voice and everyone shut up instantly.
Edward looked at me like I just pissed on his shoes. Carlisle and Esme stared at me and then Edward, shocked and unable to speak.
"I'm not saying anything else.", I let my head fall in my hands and clawed at my hair.
Edward would hate me now…that was his to tell…but he wasn't going to tell it…he was going to tell them he was fine and have them leave thinking everything was just dandy…and I'm sorry, but I couldn't let that happen. Maybe these two could give me some help or information that would save Edward.
They certainly do seem to care…oh God, kill me now, please!!
No one said anything for a long time and I looked up to make sure they were all still breathing and here. Yes…all here…all looking pissed off and upset. Good.
"Bella is a little crazy sometimes.", Edward informed, "I'm a slave at work, she meant, sometimes I work twelve hour days to make sure Kaitlyn gets all she needs."
"EDWARD, you're pissing me OFF!", I spun to him, shouting, "Tell them the truth, DAMMIT, or I WILL!!"
His jaw clenched and he sneered, "FINE! Strip me down, I'm used to it, right?!"
"No, Edward!", I cried as he tore his shirt open, the buttons flying as he yanked his arms out and tossed it across the room, extending his arms out as the lashmarks stared back redly at his parent's faces. He turned around, slowly, in a little circle, showing his back to them next and Esme covered her mouth with both hands. Carlisle stared at him with pure regret in his eyes.
"This is the nice, happy normal life you wanted for me.", Edward faced his parents with wet eyes, "And this is only my chest, you should see the rest of my body."
"Edward, please stop!", I cried and tried to put my arms around him but he tensed when I hugged him…and my heart broke and I let him go, taking a couple steps back, tears falling down my cheeks.
"Edward, who did this?", Carlisle asked with a weak voice.
"That's my business.", he hissed with a cruel tone of voice again, "Don't tell me you haven't been keeping track of me lately. Because you care so much…right?"
"I was told you were living in Florida with Katie, Ben and Angela.", Carlisle repeated.
"Well you were told WRONG!", Edward roared, his eyes murderous now, "You'd better get some new people, DADDY, cause you've been kept in the fucking dark!! I'm a whore, Mom…Dad…I'm a pain whore. Which means I bleed and fuck for money. And if you come by the club on Friday nights, you can see me as a vampire, how ironic is THAT?! And I will do fucking anything for any money."
"Edward, that's not the whole truth…please tell them…", I begged.
"Oh, that's right.", Edward snapped his fingers, "I belong to Bella this week…well, for the next four days. She paid twenty grand to fuck me for two weeks. Is that the whole truth, Bella?"
He winked at me and I almost sobbed out loud right there.
"You're not going to push me away, Edward…and it won't work on your parents, either.", I stated, trying to keep control of myself, "So stop it now."
"Oh, come on, Bella.", Edward smiled, "I'm sure my Mommy wants to hear all about what I can do to earn a buck. After all, it's their negligence that led me to my current career."
"Oh my God.", Esme closed her eyes and trembled.
"Yes, Oh my God.", Edward nodded, "He has fucked me over and over again and he never pays. He's the biggest rapist of them all."
"Edward, your parents came here to be honest with you…", I began but he cut me off.
"I'm being totally honest!", Edward looked at me like I was crazy, "Ask Victoria! She's my owner. She bought me for 50 grand one night I was about to get my mouth raped by guns. See, my daughter needed this teensy operation to restore her lungs and internal organs so she could breathe and I didn't have the money or insurance…so I went to the dregs of the underworld for the money…and I got it! Katie got her first operation…and then I had no way to pay the dregs back. So one night I came about an inch away from being beaten to death before I was saved by a male stripper and fellow whore."
"Victoria, the woman who owns the club, came out, stripped all my clothes off, looked me over, and decided I was a hot piece of ass…and bought me from the dregs. So, lucky me…no death…but instead, lots of pain, rape, and humiliation. Since then, my life has been one big party after the next. I even have a recurring role in 'Men in Pain'. They love my acting skills. When I get raped, they say the look of agony in my eyes looks SO real! The directors love that."
I wiped the tears from my face and waited for him to pause and then I said, "Your parents are still here, Edward. I don't see them leaving."
"Edward…", Esme opened her arms as if wanting to hold Edward and she moved towards him a step but he recoiled backwards, screaming out with a frown as she froze in place, not coming any closer.
"It's okay…I understand.", Esme looked down, lowering her arms, "It's because I'm a…vampire…"
"No.", he frowned in distaste at her, "It has nothing to do with you being a vampire."
He moved around his parents and went into the bedroom and came out with his duffle bag, picking up his torn shirt off the floor.
My chest clutched tightly as I saw him go into the bathroom and take his toothbrush and razor, tossing it into his bag. Tears filled my eyes instantly again at this and I managed to croak out, "Where are you going?"
"Home.", he shot out roughly, not looking at me, "No one there makes me feel this violated – and that's saying something."
"EDWARD, NO!", I screamed as he opened the door and paused for a second in the doorway, looking at the floor at something…he hesitated for a second.
"Edward, please don't leave.", I cried, "Don't go back to her. I'm sorry I said that, I just wanted to help you. Please stay and talk this out. Let us help you."
He looked at me and I saw his eyes…so green and filled with pain…tears sparkling inside them.
"Just let me go, Bella.", he said in a low voice, and it cracked as he added, "You can't save me."
And then he looked at his parents with a look of disappointment, adding, "No one can."
He left, slamming the door behind him as I let out my deep, quivering sobs, and screamed, "EDWARD!"
"Bella…", Carlisle held my arms firmly as I felt my legs almost give out.
He was going back to HER…instead of staying here with me for the next four days?? God, why did I yell out that he's a slave?! STUPID!! That obviously humiliated him in front of his parents…but they had to know!!
I could faintly hear Carlisle and Esme's voice around me but my crying was out of control and too loud to make them out very well.
Before I knew it, I was being carried to my bed and gently laid down on my back there.
"Shhhh….shhhh…", Esme's voice was floating above me as she took my hand, "Edward is very stubborn sometimes, Bella. That much about him I know. But he comes around after he's had a little time to kick a little bit."
"No, you don't get it.", I sobbed, trying to calm myself so I could go after him, "He's going back to that…BITCH Victoria! God, why did I humiliate him like that? I just became every other woman he's ever known!"
"No, Bella, you did a wonderful thing here for him today.", Esme said, "You showed love and care in every single thing you did today. He'll see that. He's just mad right now. He takes after his father in this."
Carlisle came back into the room and whispered, "Bella…come here please."
I stopped crying and wiped my eyes, following him down the stairs and to the door that led out into the street. On the steps outside, sat Edward, his head in his hands.
Carlisle gave me a little grin and I rushed out there to him…he was crying quietly to himself as I sat next to him and gently put my arms around him, laying my wet face on his arm as he cried more.
"I can't leave…", he finally breathed, sniffling, "What the hell am I doing, Bella?"
"I'm so sorry, Edward.", I cried, too, "I never meant to make you feel violated. God…I'm sorry…please try to forgive me Edward. I should have never said that…"
He turned towards me and held me tight and I felt a wave of relief and love pour over me.
"I love you, Bella.", he whispered, "I'm not mad at you. You don't violate me…you're the one person who's built me up instead of tearing me down. If it wasn't for you…I'd never have the guts to even face my parents like that. I'm sorry I did that to you up there…I didn't know what I was doing…I just had to get out of there…it wasn't you, Bella."
Carlisle stayed inside but was smiling at us from where he stood, probably hearing every word we were saying.
It was sunny out here so I suspected that's why they weren't coming out to join us.
"What do you think…about what your parents said?", I asked, sounding like Dr. Bella again.
"I don't know…", his voice cracked a bit, "It's so fucking unreal…how could anyone just swallow all that?"
"I know, I know.", I held him closer, looking around us, seeing people walking back and forth past the stairs we were having our little scene on.
"Do you want to come back inside?", I asked carefully, "We don't have to talk about anything for awhile, if you want a break."
After a long pause, Edward said, "I'll come back inside."
I gave him a smile, admiring his courage and he took my hand, kissing it deeply as a single tear fell down his face, making my eyes tear up again.
He smiled back at me and stood up slowly, helping me to my feet and we turned towards the door, opening it and going back inside…following Carlisle up the little staircase.
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LIKE I SAID – DON'T GET MAD YET! READ ON TO NEXT CHAPTER. THIS STORY IS GOING TO REMAIN ALL HUMAN – NOTHING SUPERNATURAL WILL COME INTO THIS STORY. READ ON.
Love
WinndSinger
PS I can't believe everyone was thinking I'd make Tanya and Edward an incest story!! LOL…you guys must really think I'm SICK!!! Cool!! LOL!!