She was here now. They both knew – she probably wouldn't leave before morning. The knowledge of that hung between them, it created an unspoken tension. Just one little word and Kathryn could still leave for her own quarters, she'd draw the line. She didn't, but stood her ground in front of him, smiling nervously, obviously scared stiff now. He offered a cup of tea, she agreed.

They sat on the couch, closely, and sipped their tea in silence. He was watching her, smiling. She noticed and looked at him quizzically. Chakotay put a hand on her cheek. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you happy. These past few nights..." he put down his cup. "...were wonderful. You've been ...different."

She thought a moment. They hadn't really talked about this, and they were both unsure how to begin. It was nice to just let it happen, but she knew she had to say something now, before it went any further. When she locked her eyes on his, her voice was barely a whisper, and while she spoke she closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Something changed. And... I wasn't even aware of it, Chakotay." She looked up again. The softness in her eyes, the way she said his name made his heart go crazy in his chest. Kathryn put down her cup as well and moved closer, her head next to his, her breath on his neck, ear, shivers down his spine. "What happens now?"

"Whatever we want."

Her daring voice surprised him, but her unsteady voice betrayed her emotions. "Actually... I have been a little stiff all day..."

He grinned. "Gladly."

She turned and lowered her head. When his hands met her shoulders, she sighed and relaxed. She mumbled something. He leant closer. "Pardon?"

She hesitated and took a deep breath. "I said.. what was I thinking. Back then." He knew what she meant and squeezed her shoulders reassuringly.

"You did what you had to. I was glad then to see a different side of you." He took a deep breath. "It certainly was enough to realise I was... hopelessly in love with you." Her eyes snapped open and she slowly turned her head, surprised by his sudden admission, her face flushed with emotions. "And if it took you a while to figure it all out – well, better late than never." She smiled. Relieved, he suddenly thought. She's really relieved. He looked in her eyes. "Kathryn, you musn't feel guilty about anything. We've been through a lot together, and I wouldn't want to change the past years. Maybe this just needed time." She leaned closer and kissed him gently, conveying her deep feelings and gratitude. He smiled and motioned her to turn again. "I'd say you have quite a few backrubs to catch up on." He tried to be the gentleman, not let his arousal be too obvious. But concentrating suddenly became harder and harder as she let herself dissolve under his loving touch. All his thoughts became a haze, time seemed to stand still around them. He wasn't aware of anything else but his hands, covering her delicate shoulders, slowly massaging them. She moved her head around, slightly pressing herself into his hands. Her hair tickled his skin. He was caught between trying to concentrate on not losing his self-control and desperately seeking to take in the intoxicating scent of her body – he was in the desert, dying of thirst, and she was his oasis. A small sigh escaped her lips again, but this sounded less like relaxation, more like growing lust. She was shivering. He sat very close to her, felt her breathing. The ship could fall apart around them, and Chakotay knew he wouldn't care.

Kathryn had never felt anything like it. His hands kneaded away what was left of her doubts and fears. She felt his breath in her neck. Her feelings, so carefully stowed away all these years, burst out once more, overflowing, overcoming her defences. His warmth spread through her body. She felt the growing tingling sensation in her belly creep downwards. She was intensely aware of everything: His smell surrounded her, she could distinguish the texture of his hands, his growing need. She knew he wanted her. Badly. That was enough to drive her crazy – but his broad chest behind her, always ready to catch her when she fell, his strong hands, his lips – In my wildest dreams I never could have imagined them so soft – she was burning with love for this man, coherent thoughts slowly dissipating in a wave of heat.

His head moved closer to her neck. His breathing was controlled, but fast now. They both knew where this would lead, and were both a little scared as well – they knew this would become uncontrollable soon. He placed a kiss on her half-exposed neck, then another, wandered toward her ear, another just below it, sending small shockwaves rushing through her body, his lips softly brushed her sensitive earlobe, he buried his face in her hair, breathing deeply. His hands slid down her arms, stroking her, she leaned into him, her head falling back on his shoulder. His head covered her shoulder with accelerating, burning kisses, as his hands clasped her waist. She lifted her arm behind his head and pulled it closer. Now her lips found his neck, caressed his ear, cheeks, slowly making their way towards his mouth. He grabbed her around the middle and turned her slightly back, facing him. Her arms went around his neck and their kisses found their way across each other's cheeks.

Her lips found his. Suddenly, they both paused, wanting to give each other a chance to take it slowly. Brown eyes met blue, searching, asking. She nudged him with her nose, then they both smiled. She wanted him to let go. He pulled her closer and finally their need took over. Their mouths became one, his hand raking her hair, another tightening its grip around her waist. Kathryn felt a tear slipping down her cheek. She'd never felt anything like this before ...all-encompassing happiness. Her small sighs of pleasure encouraged him even more. They broke away breathless, but were far from letting go. His kisses wandered down her neck, she bent her head backwards, his hands started working on her clothes. His quick breath on her skin drove her crazy. She started to unbutton his shirt as he hastily unzipped her dress.

All of a sudden she tore away from his kisses and stood up, right in front of him, between his legs. With slightly hooded eyes and a promising smile playing around her lips, she started taking off her clothes. He took off his shirt, then leaned back and simply took in her beautiful body. Every curve he'd only admired from a safer distance the night before, every bit of skin, sparkling in the starlight. When she was down to her underwear – definitely not Starfleet issue - he couldn't stop himself. "Gods, you're amazing," he moaned and rushed to bend forward to kiss her stomach. Her fingers wrapped around his strong shoulders, tracing his muscles. His hands crept up to her breasts, she gasped at the touch. He stood up, gently unhooked her bra and took it off. Her eyes moved over his chest and shoulders, finally back at his eyes.

Suddenly, with one quick movement, he swept her off her feet and carried her towards the bedroom. She kicked her legs playfully and laughed. It was the most beautiful thing he ever heard. He gently placed her on the covers, his eyes never leaving hers. She pushed the covers aside and slid underneath. He removed his pants and boxers and grinned as she ogled his naked body. A faint blush crept up her cheeks, and with a mischievous smile she removed her panties, the blanket just about covering her breasts. She took in a deep breath as he crawled towards her, stealing the covers. He lay down next to her. "Now where were we?" She grinned, but they slowly became more serious now as he gently started caressing her breasts. He slowly explored her soft skin, feeling her nipples with his lips. She moaned quietly and bent her body against his hands. As his kisses moved over her body she could just make out his whispering. "Oh... Kathryn, you're so beautiful." They quickly lost control of themselves, totally bewitched by their feelings, clinging to each other for dear life. When they finally found each other, she knew she'd never feel whole again without him.

Everything around her was still blurred. Kathryn felt extremely rested, as if she had slept two days straight. After a moment she realised the warmth around her came from a pair of strong arms enveloping her. She smiled, happiness filling her to the core. She took in his sleeping, familiar face. She knew every corner of it. A totally overwhelming wave of emotions swept through her chest. She gasped, a tear escaping her. This feeling she had held back and buried deeper than anything else. But now it hit her with all its might. She closed her eyes and knew her voice wouldn't break now that she finally said out loud what she had thought so often.

"I love you."

His eyes fluttered open, his quiet breathing quickened, he needed only a second to be aware of the situation. He didn't smile, only searched her face. He looked into her eyes, deeply and seriously. His arms tightened around her.

"I love you, too. I always have."

She smiled broadly and snuggled against his chest. He whispered: "You don't know how many sleepless nights I've imagined this." He pulled away a little, looking into her eyes again, still searching, as if he couldn't quite believe it yet. She saw that at some point, tears had crossed his cheeks. She kissed away those traces with a reassurance. He closed his eyes, finally catching on; a smile formed and revealed his beautiful dimples. As he relaxed, taking in the meaning of it all, happiness washing away his fears, she thought about the night before. He had basically given in to instinct - like her. It had been extremely intense, a rush of need and passion. But now they both were sure this had not just been a physical release. She closed her eyes and felt every nerve ending in her body tingle.

"Last night was the most extraordinary thing I've ever felt. Thank you... for finally opening my eyes."

He cupped her cheek with one hand. "No, Kathryn, thank you, for finally letting me love you."

Her eyes twinkled. "Well, I believe we have some catching up to do on that..."

He smiled and he gently brushed through her hair, another hand gently stroking her back. She felt his body react to her immediately. It was sending shivers down her spine and the perpetual butterflies in her stomach were producing raging thunderstorms now. They surrendered to love once more, hungry for each other's touch, their longing far from quenched – and this time they took it a little more slowly.