My Saving Grace

Chapter 4 Prison Time Visits

Sometimes you have to do things that people do not agree with. Everyone needs closure.

It had been a week since ladies night. Lucas had to leave for his book tour and would be gone several days. Brooke had gotten into town a few days after he left. She wanted to be there for Peyton every single step of the way. She knew that her best friend was going to need her.

Brooke and Peyton had gotten up early that morning and left for the prison. Peyton had found out that it was visitation all day. The kids thought they were going shopping for the wedding. Peyton didn't want to worry Preston. She had always told him everything, but sometimes things were better left unsaid.

Riley was in her room still asleep when Preston walked in and knocked the covers off of her. "Wake up," he screamed.

"What the hell? What if I would have been naked under here?" She yelled as she tried to find her covers.

"I need you to wake up and get dressed. I need you to go somewhere with me."

"You can go to the river court by yourself."

"I'm not going to the river court. I need to go to the prison."

"What?"

He sat down on her bed, "I need to see my dad."

"Why?"

"Because I just do, and I found out that today is visitation day."

"You really want to do this?"

He nodded his head, "Yeah I have too."

"Did your mom say it was okay?"

He bit his bottom lip. "I didn't ask her."

"What? You always tell your mom everything."

"I know, but I don't think she would want me to do this."

"Then don't do it."

"I have too," he yelled. "I have to get rid of him. I have to show him what he lost."

Riley could tell that he was very serious about what he wanted to do. "Okay give me like fifteen minutes to get dressed. You can drive, and I'll put my make up on in the car. What are we going to tell your mom when she comes back and sees the car missing?"

"She's with Aunt Brooke. They are going to be gone a while. We'll probably be back, and if not we can tell her that we took it to the car wash or something."

"Okay," Riley didn't want to argue with him so she went to get dressed.

……………………………………………

Brooke and Peyton were almost to the prison. Brooke was driving. It was about an hour and a half almost two hour drive. "Are you nervous?"

"No," Peyton said without any emotion. "I need to talk to the bastard that killed my children."

"I know, but you didn't even talk to him after the accident."

"It wasn't an accident Brooke. It was murder, and he knew what he was doing."

Brooke reached over and grabbed her hand. "I love you P. Sawyer."

"I love you too Brooke. Thanks for coming with me. I don't know if I could have done this alone."

"I'm always going to be here for you Peyton."

………………………………

Riley and Preston were getting in the car. "I can't believe we are doing this without permission. I mean I do stuff all the time without permission, but you are the golden boy. You never do anything wrong."

"I'm not doing anything wrong. I need to see my dad. This is important, and I'll tell my mom after the fact."

"How long after the fact?"

"Years down the wrong," he said nonchalantly, and Riley couldn't help but laugh. She knew their little trip was probably going to land them in hot water, but she didn't care. She never really did.

……………………………………………….

Peyton took a deep breath as she walked into the prison. She had never been there before, and it scared her to death. Brooke was right beside her. She wanted to make sure Peyton was able to hold it all together.

She walked up to the security desk. "I'm here to see Jason Parker."

"Will it be both of you?"

Peyton shook her head, "No."

Brooke looked at her confused.

"I need to talk to him alone. I'm sorry Brooke."

"No I understand, but if you need me."

"I know your right out here. I think once I get through with Jason he's the one that is going to need help."

Brooke gave her one last hug before she walked off with a security guard.

As she walked to the room where she would see her ex husband, father of her son, and murderer of her daughters she began to feel her heart fall into her stomach. It wasn't as though she was nervous, but she was anxious. She knew that she needed to confront him if she was ever going to get over the hurt that he had caused her.

When she checked in they took all of her belongings, and she followed the security guard into the room. There were other couples visiting. Most of them seemed to be happy visits much like you would see on television. They were planned and most likely reunions. Jason and Peyton were going to have a reunions but it definitely wasn't going to be a pleasant one.

She saw Jason sitting at the table. He had gotten much bigger. He had always been a larger man, but he used to be built. He looked as if he hadn't shaved in a while. He used to always stay clean faced. He always told her that it helped with his customers and his business. His hair seemed much darker with hints of gray. In Peyton's opinion he was the ugliest man she had ever seen.

When she made it to the table he grinned at her. His stupid little grin sent chills up and down her spine. "Nice to see you baby."

She wanted to reach across the table and smack the grin off of his face, but she was better than that.

"I always knew you would come back for me. I knew you'd miss me. A woman like you always misses a man like me. Women need a man to help them and teach them what they don't know." He continued to talk.

She finally slapped her hand as hard as she could on the table. Everyone in the prison looked at her, but she didn't care. She had come to say what she had to say, and she wasn't going to let him and his petty remarks stop her.

She kept her voice at a low tone, "I'm not here to listen to you speak. I'm here to do the talking and for the first time in your miserable, pathetic life you are going to sit there and take it. Or I will scream so loud that they will think you did something to me." She looked at him very coldly, "I'm sure a man likes you loves solitary. A man like you needs a place like that to think and play with himself. I'm sure that's all the action you get in place like this."

He went to say something, but she grabbed her arm. "Do you want to test me?" She said sternly.

He knew that she wasn't joking around.

"I am not the weak little teenage girl that you used to throw around. I am strong, and I'm not scared of you anymore, but you should be scared of me. You should be very scared of me."

He couldn't believe that she was talking to him in that manner. She had never spoken to him that way. She was always so pleasing and afraid of him. This was a new side to her.

"I just wanted someone to love me, to want me, and to care about me, and you treated me like shit. You took away eight years of my life, and I will never be able to get them back. But you not only took away those years, but you took away the most important things in my life….you took away my little angels, and you don't even care. You don't even feel any remorse." She maintained a low, calm voice. She didn't want to have a panic attack or freak out everyone in the prison.

"I know that you never loved me, but I thought you would have loved your little girls."

"I did love you." He pleaded.

"Oh shut the hell up. No you didn't. You couldn't have loved me especially when you were beating me to a pulp. You turned me into a helpless, weak little child. You tore me apart, but never again Jason, never again."

She took another deep breath. "I'm not gonna let you get to me anymore. I'm not going to fear you anymore."

"Peyton I did love you. I still do."

"Stop it," she raised her voice a little. "You did not love me, and you still don't. A man like you doesn't know how to love. All you know how to do is beat and hurt people. You don't know how to love anyone but yourself. And I don't even think that you love yourself. I mean how could you? Look at yourself, you're pathetic."

"I never asked you before, but why? Why did you kill my little girls? My helpless, precious little angels," she started to feel tears forming in her eyes.

He sat silent. "Answer me dammit," her voice rose again. "I want to know why the hell you would hurt them? I want to know if they realized they were going to die. I want to know if they asked for me." Her eyes were getting heavier and heavier, and the tears began to fall down her face.

"They wouldn't stop crying." He spoke slowly. "They kept asking when you were coming back, and I told them I didn't know. They said that they loved you more, and I couldn't take that." He said harshly. "I couldn't have my children love you more than me. My son already did, and I wasn't going to have my little girls love you more too."

Peyton was now shaking. "I told them to shut up, but they wouldn't stop crying for you. I decided I was going to give them a bath, but I knew what was going to happen when I put them in that bathtub. Peyton I knew that I was going to kill them, but they didn't know. They just thought that their daddy was going to give them a bath and brush their hair." He paused to take a breath.

"Preston came into the bathroom and told me not to give them a bath. He had a feeling that I was going to do something wrong. He tried to stop, but I beat him until he shut up. Something took over me Peyton, and I had to end their lives. I had to put them in a world that was better than the world they were living in."

Peyton was shaking her head. It was all very hard to hear, but she needed to hear it.

"I saw what I had done to Preston, and I didn't want them to suffer my wrath."

"So you killed them?" she yelled at him.

"I had too Peyton. It was best for them. They are in a better place." He didn't show any emotion at all. There was no sign of remorse. "Their last word was we want to see mommy."

Peyton couldn't help her crying anymore. She wiped away her tears as they continued to fall down her face.

"They died loving you. You wanted someone to love you Peyton well they did. You were their everything, and I was nothing." He sighed, "I knew that you were planning on leaving. All the signs were there, and I didn't want that to happen. I did love you Peyton."

She couldn't even speak. "Why did they have bruises all over their bodies?"

"I had to hit them a few times to shut them up."

"I hate you."

"I know, and you should, but what is done is done, and you are probably just as miserable as you were when you were with me. You aren't supposed to be happy Peyton. That isn't how it works. You are always supposed to hurt. That's what God wants for you."

"I'm not miserable you jackass. I am happy."

"Yeah right," he chuckled.

"I am in love, and I am with a man that loves me more than anything in this world. And I needed you to hear that. You tried your best to make me as miserable as you are, and you almost succeeded, but once I met Lucas you lost Jason." She stood up from the table.

"You lost." She held up her ring, "I'm getting married in a few weeks, and you're wrong. God does want me to be happy. I'm not always supposed to be in pain, but you will be. You will never be free again, and you will never ever hurt me ever again. I'm gonna make damn sure of that."

"What about Preston? I'd like to see him."

"You will never see him. He hates you maybe even more than I do."

She leaned over the table and spit in his face with the security guards watching. She didn't care. He barely even flinched. "How does it feel to be spit at? Not too good, now you know how I felt all those times you did it to me. I hope you burn in hell you miserable son of a bitch." She turned to walk away and then turned back towards him. "I'm over you, and I'm over all the pain you caused me. And you're right my little girls are in a safer place. We all are. I won't ever see you again, and I won't ever fear you again."

With that she walked out of the room. She hated him so much, but she wasn't going to let him control her life anymore. She was done with all the fear and pain. She just wanted to be happy with Lucas and their family.

She walked back through security to get her purse. When they handed it back to her, her wallet fell out. No one realized that it had fallen back into the box. Peyton walked over to where Brooke was sitting. Brooke could tell that it had been very emotional for Peyton.

"Hey are you okay?"

"I'm better than ever." She smiled through the tears. "What do ya say we go do a little shopping now?"

"That is so my favorite thing to do."

They both smiled, and Brooke hugged her best friend.

………………………………………….

About an hour later Preston and Riley showed up at the prison. "Are you nervous?"

"No I'm just a little anxious. I haven't seen him in three years, and mom didn't let me talk to him throughout the whole trial."

"Did he plead guilty?"

"No, but they found him guilty. He's never getting out of prison."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, I want him to know that I don't need him, and I never did."

Riley hugged him. "You are so strong Preston Scott. Do you want me to go with you to talk to him?"

"No, I just needed someone to ride with me."

"I'm glad I could help." Riley smiled. They really were like brother and sister.

Preston did the same thing that Peyton had done earlier. He walked in and saw his dad. For the first time in his entire life he wasn't afraid to be around him. He knew that his dad couldn't do anything to him anymore. He knew that he was safe.

Jason smirked as he saw Preston walk in. "Wow I don't get visitors for three years now you guys show up on the same day."

"What are you talking about?"

"Peyton was just here." He didn't call her his mother because in his eyes she wasn't.

Preston was shocked.

"I'm guessing she doesn't know you are here because she said that I would never see you ever again."

Preston sat down. "No she doesn't know I'm here. I wanted to do this on my own."

"Do what son?"

"Don't call me that," he was disgusted. "You are not my father. You are the man that murdered my little sisters, and beat me and the only person that ever really loved me. She is living proof that you don't have to be blood to be a family."

"Why are you here Preston? You haven't been here for three years."

"I didn't come for three years because I was still holding out hope that you weren't the monster that I thought you were, but I was wrong. I've seen how a father is really supposed to be, and you are definitely not it. You're a monster."

"Don't call me that," he closed his eyes. "I'm not a monster."

"Yes you are. You are the devil, and hell is even too good for you. You are on a whole different level of horrible." Preston stood up. "I came here today to tell you that I don't need you, and I never did. I have Lucas. He loves me, and he loves mom, and I want him to be my dad."

"Excuse me," Jason was hurt. "I am your father."

"You donated your sperm." He snapped back. "That doesn't make you a father."

Preston smiled, "I'm going to ask Lucas to adopt me. I don't want to be a Parker. I want to be a Scott, and I'm gonna wear that name proud, and I'm gonna make Lucas proud of me. I'm gonna be the man you never could be. And I'm not going to think about you anymore. I am done with you, and your bullshit."

"Preston wait," Jason pleaded.

Preston turned around.

"I did what I had to do."

"You're not sorry are you?"

Jason didn't answer.

"I knew you weren't. I didn't have to see you to know that. Have fun rotting in prison. You are right where you belong. Mom and I are going to be happy now. This was my first and last visit. You'll never see me again. So take a good luck. This is what you lost out on. I'm gonna get to live the life that I was always meant to live, and you're gonna miss it all, and one day I know you will regret it. You might be old and on your death bed, but you will regret what you did, and you will hate yourself as much as everyone else does."

Preston walked over to the security guard and took one last look at his father. He was relieved to be rid of him.

……………………………………..

While Preston was visiting Jason Peyton and Brooke had realized that Peyton lost her wallet at the prison. They headed back to get it.

Riley was shocked when she saw them coming in. She tried to hide her face, but it was way too late. "Riley Hannah Scott, what the hell are you doing here?" Peyton sounded very parental.

"Um, um," she was trying to think of a good lie. "I got arrested." That was definitely not it.

Peyton put her hands on her hips. "Okay um Preston wanted to see his dad."

Peyton was angry. "What?" She gave Riley a stern look. "Stay right here," she demanded as she walked to get her wallet.

"She's pissed right?"

"Oh yeah," Brooke couldn't help but smile. She thought it was funny when Peyton got mad.

Preston walked out of security and was shocked to see his mom. "You have a lot of explaining to do. I cannot believe you would drive all this way without permission. You should have told me you were coming."

"Funny," he was mad too. "You should have told me you were coming."

"I'm the mother. I don't have to explain my actions to you."

"Whatever," he started to walk off but she stopped him.

"No not whatever, you are in big trouble." She looked over at Riley. "You are too."

"Do we have to tell my dad?"

"Yes we have to tell your dad." Peyton then remembered that she hadn't even told Lucas that she was coming. Riley put on her puppy dog face. "We'll talk about that part later, but right now we're all going home."

"Fine, we brought the car." Preston told her.

"You're riding with me, and Brooke is going to drive Riley home."

"I don't want to ride with you."

"You don't have a choice."

"Fine," he stomped off.

Peyton was disappointed in his behavior. He had never lied to her before, but then again she had never lied to him either. They always made everything very easy. They had a great relationship.

…………………………………………………..

On the ride home Peyton had tried to talk to Preston, but he didn't want to talk. He pretended to be asleep for most of the way.

Once they got home he stomped off to his room and slammed the door.

Riley turned to Peyton. "I really am so sorry Peyton."

"It's okay. Why don't you just go upstairs? We can talk about it later."

"Okay," Riley did as Peyton requested.

Brooke walked behind Peyton. "I think I'm gonna go do a little shopping. I want to give you sometime to breathe. And remember that Preston did the same thing that you did."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"He needed closure too Peyton." Brooke told her as she walked out of the house.

………………………………………

Peyton waited for about an hour and then she knocked on Preston's door. "Come in," he yelled from the other side.

"Hey," she said. "I brought you some milk and cookies."

"I'm not hungry."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I figured that I was grounded."

"I never said that."

"Yeah but you pretty much said I was in trouble. I thought that might be the appropriate punishment."

"Well I was wrong Preston."

He looked at her.

"I know. That doesn't happy very often. I should have told you that I was going, and I should have asked you if you wanted to go with me. Sometimes I forget that we both went through the same things, and we both needed that closure."

"I just wanted him to know that I hated him, and Lucas was my dad now."

Peyton smiled when she heard him say that. "Really, you want Lucas to be your dad?"

"Yeah, I want him to adopt me. Do you think he will?"

"I think he would probably be honored."

"I wanted Jason to know that he hurt us, but we're not going to let him hurt us anymore."

"Me too," she smiled. "You're dad hurt me in so many ways, but he gave me the best thing that I have in my life. He gave me you. I don't know what I would do without you." She hugged him. "I love you so much, and I promise that I'll be honest with you for now on, but you have to be honest with me too."

"I know," he smiled. "Seeing him really helped me though."

"Yeah it helped me too. I'm not gonna be afraid anymore."

"How did Lucas feel about you going to see Jason?"

Peyton bit her bottom lip, "I didn't tell him."

"So you didn't tell a lot people about your little trip."

"No I guess we have that in common." She laughed. "I'm gonna tell him when he gets home."

"Good," he sighed. "I don't want there to be any secrets. I just want us all to be happy."

"I want that too Preston."

She wanted that more than anything.

Later that night she was lying in her bed reading one of her books. It always helped her to read Lucas' books when he was away. It made her feel closer to him.

The door opened and to her surprise Lucas walked in with a dozen red roses. "Lucas," she smiled.

He walked over to the bed. "We got done early, and I caught the first flight I could. I missed you some kind of bad." He kissed her after handing her the roses.

"I went to see my ex husband in prison." She couldn't keep it from him anymore.

"What? That was definitely not the greeting I was expecting."

"I needed to see him to get some closure. I never really asked him what happened that day, and he finally told me, and I really need it. I understand if you're mad."

He kissed her lips gently, "I'm definitely not mad. I wish you would have told me, and I could have been there for you, but I'm glad that you went. I hope you got the answers that you were looking for."

"What I've been looking for is right here? I've always been looking for someone like you, and I am so grateful that I finally found you."

"I'm glad you finally found me too."

They started to kiss. "There's one more thing I need to ask you."

"What?"

"Will you make Preston your official son by adopting him?"

He smiled. He was really hoping that she would ask him that. "I would be honored to be his father." He kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Peyton was finally happy and nothing else mattered. Sometimes you have to go through hell to find your happy ending. She had never believed in fairytales before she met Lucas, but she was starting to believe more and more everyday. At least in fairytales ended with a happily ever after, and Peyton knew that Lucas and their family was her happily ever after. And she was really okay with that.

Okay So I really want to know what you guys thought of this chapter. I worked really hard on it. I wanted it to be really good because I have some bad news for you guys. I'm going on vacation for a week. I leave Saturday and won't be back until the next Saturday. I'm super excited about the trip, but I am not taking my computer, and I probably won't be able to update while I'm gone. I'm really sad because I am so addicted to writing. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do.

I might be able to get one more chapter up before I leave. If I have time tomorrow, but if not I wanted this to be a really powerful chapter. I wanted it to show a lot of different emotions.

I want to know what you guys thought. It is okay if you didn't like it. I can take criticism, but I hope you liked it.

Thanks for all the reviews, and I'll be so happy if you guys let me know what ya thought of this chapter, and what you want to see happen next. I promise I'll have a lot of updates when I get back if you guys review. Because you really are incredible and make me so happy all the time.

I'm gonna stop babbling now, and let you guys get to reviewing. Oh yeah it is so much fun!