Chapter Two - The Meadow

A whole month seemed to blur past me, only slowing down when I was with Jake. I couldn't help but feel awkward around him now, always wondering if he could ever possibly return the feelings I had recently discovered for him. I knew he loved me on some level.... but probably not the way I loved him now.

He was just so perfect for me in every way, but he had known me since I was born, so how could he possibly even think of me in that way? He might even see me as a child still, even though my brain and body were far beyond the limitations of childhood.

I woke up Sunday morning after what had become my nightly heaven; I had been dreaming the same dream of Jacob since that first day, one where he and I were in love with one another, and I could finally feel the warmth of his lips on mine. This particular idea seemed to float inside of my head at any given moment, much to the chagrin of my father. I'm pretty sure he had resorted to just blocking me out by now.

I looked out of my window at the sunshine filtering in. It looked like it would be a very nice day.

I walked out to the living room, then froze with surprise.

"Alice!!!!" I screamed as I threw myself at her. "What are you doing here?!?"

Alice and the rest of my wonderful vampire family had unhappily moved away a few years ago. They didn't have much of a choice, really, what with them never aging and all. They had started over in another small town about two hundred miles up the coast. Carlisle had taken up his regular work there while Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie had started over high school. Rose and Emmett had just graduated (again). My Mom and Dad did not want to move me away from my home, so they stayed and kept out of the public eye altogether, sending Jacob and I to do anything that they couldn't. I hated being away from my whole family, but I could not leave my home. Especially not now....

"Ohh Nessie, you are just so adorable!" Alice squeezed me up tight. She still liked to talk about me like I was a little girl, which was okay with me - just so long as it was only her. She suddenly dropped me and a tiny rumble escaped from her throat.

"Jake's coming." she stated matter-of -factly. I blushed frantically.

"I gotta get dressed!" I said as I ran to put some clothes on. I picked out a tan t-shirt and jeans, throwing them on wildly. When I walked back into the living room, Jacob was already sitting there and listening to Alice tell Mom and Dad about their new house.

"Well, we'll have to come and see for ourselves soon....." my mother trailed off as she looked first from Jacob and then to me. "Are you two going on your walk now? It's a beautiful day," she smiled warmly at me.

I smiled back hugely. This was her giving me the go ahead to be alone with Jacob even though we had company.

"Do you want to go Jacob??" I couldn't completely contain my excitement.

"Yeah, Ness. You can lead the way."

We started through the trees slowly. Jacob took my hand in his. I stopped walking for a moment, first because my heart was about to implode on itself. Second because, now that he was touching my hand, I had to be very careful not to think certain things and to not send him every thought I couldn't help thinking. Usually, the second part wasn't so hard, but then again, usually Jacob was not holding my hand. I gathered my thoughts and started walking again.

"Alice says she wants to take you shopping next time she gets in," he said conversationally.

"Why next time?"

"She's only here for a short visit. She has school tomorrow...."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," I giggled. It was strange to think of my aunt as a high school student when, in reality, she could be a college professor.

"Ness I was wanting to ask you something......"

I stopped walking and stared into his eyes. "Yes?" was all that would escape my throat.

"You know that meadow your mom has told you about? You know, the place where she first saw how your dad's skin glittered?"

"Oh," I had hoped he was going to ask me a different question. "Yeah, I know what you're talking about."

"Well I was thinking I could show it to you tomorrow. It really is a nice spot."

That sounded a little better. "Okay," I agreed beaming at him. I spent the rest of the day trying to keep myself from placing my lips to his......

I stared out of the window at everything along the highway without really seeing it. Jacob was unusually silent beside me. He drove along until the road ended and then pulled to a stop. We both got out of the car.

"This is where the meadow is?" I asked looking around skeptically. We were facing a long trail, but I had been told we wouldn't be taking it. I looked at Jake and noticed his eyes run twice from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. I couldn't tell if he was looking at me in a good way or in a bad way. I had dressed a bit differently today - I always wore small clothes like tank tops and shorts or skirts, but my style was still usually pretty casual. I wanted Jake to take notice of me today, though, so I picked out a light blue and tan plaid mini skirt and wore white heels to match my white spaghetti strap tank top. It seemed to catch him off guard, at least - hopefully, in a good way.

He took my hand and led me slowly along, not saying much along the way. He must have known that I would want to walk slow today since he never even asked if I wanted to run. Or maybe he wanted this time to last as much as I did......

I shrugged the thought away before Jake heard, and before I got my hopes up. I was sure he had noticed the changes in me by now -the way I stared at him and couldn't speak half the time when he was around. Since he had not mentioned anything about it, or acted any differently towards me, I figured he must be trying to spare my feelings.

He couldn't look at me in the way I had been looking at him. I wasn't sure anyone looked at somebody else the way I looked at him. I thought he was perfect, but I was just a friend in his eyes, no matter how badly I wanted it otherwise. Maybe that's why he was being so quiet today.

"We're almost there now."

I looked up to see the sun coming through ahead. This must be the meadow my mother loved so much. She had always told me that this place was magic. Maybe it was for her, but I didn't think it was going to be the same to me. She had had the pleasure of finding out here that my father was in love with her, the same as she was in love with him. I doubted that this day would be anything like that.

We stepped through the last trees bordering in the forest, and I heard myself gasp in surprise.

This place was incredible! A perfect circle, placed right here naturally, with wildflowers blowing in the breeze.

We followed around the borders of the meadow, never straying to the center of it. Everything was quiet for a very long time. Jacob stopped walking suddenly and spun around to face me. He looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't get the words out. He looked down, directly into my eyes and held his gaze there for a very long minute. I could barely breathe. What could he be thinking?

He slowly lifted his hand up, each mili-second ticking by seemed to last an eternity. He placed his fingers to my cheek, brushing his hand across my face and then down to my jaw line. I closed my eyes to savor every moment, every feeling, every shiver that I felt at his touch. And then it was over, flooding my head with disappointment.

He sighed. His face looked almost defeated in a way. We rounded the field twice more in silence, then hiked back to the car to go home.