Chapter Twenty-Two;
Little Way We Say Things

ET was seated in the Senior Sailor's Mess, flipping through a magazine, when Nav appeared at the door. He glanced up at her once then looked back at his magazine. "Hi." She smiled but he didn't even look up. "Can we talk?"

"Where's Cass?" ET asked, flipping the page of the magazine without even looking at what he was reading.

"She's with 'Uncle Buffer', he's trying to teach her to call him that but she refuses." She gave a slight laugh that faded away when ET didn't even respond. She grabbed the door of the Senior Sailor's Mess and pushed it shut. "Can we talk?" ET shrugged. "How's your hand?"

He held it up showing it was still thickly bandaged. "So far so good, even if Bomber's wrapping is about as tender as getting strangled by a monkey. I think she's having problems with her mother-in-law."

Nav smiled, taking a seat across from him. "What gives you that impression?"

"The fact that she said 'ET, what do you think is the best way to kill my mother-in-law?'."

"Okay, remind me to warn Mrs. Webb." Nav laughed. He looked up and she caught his eye. "Are we alright?"

"We're alright if you want us to be alright." ET replied, shutting the magazine and chucking it onto a small pile at the other end of the seat.

Nav's eyes followed it down. "I do, you know I do."

"Then we're alright." ET nodded and stood up, but Nav grabbed his hand.

"It's not that easy."

He frowned. "Why can't it be that easy though? I say we're cool, you say we're cool, we go back to how we were."

"But how we were was you blaming me and me distrusting you."

"Then stop distrusting me." ET replied coolly.

"I can't." Nav admitted. ET took a seat. "I'm sorry."

ET pulled his hand from hers and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't apologize." She caught his eye. "I know you don't mean it."

"Josh, I…" He looked away and Nav frowned. "Can you blame me? You still run around this place like you're one of the boys," ET's gaze snapped up to hers, and he too was frowning. "You've just never grown up."

ET scoffed. "Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean. I saw you with Seagull and Clark the other day, stealing Luke Haynes' stuff and hanging it off the bow. You're still a kid."

"Yeah, maybe I am, but maybe that's why Cassie prefers me." Nav gaped. "You heard me. Cassandra prefers me." He repeated the last sentence slowly to make sure she heard him clearly.

"Stop being childish." Was Nav's remark, but the pain was clear on her face.

"She came to you the other day looking for her mum and all she got was Nav the CO. She's not one of your crew, you can't tell her you're busy and she has to leave you alone. She was in tears when she got back to me. Tears, cos mummy didn't want her around. Do you know what that does to a three-year-old?"

Nav could remember that. It had only been two days earlier and Nav had been swamped by paperwork, reports about exactly what had happened to ET's hand. The Navy were coming down hard on her for having the civilians aboard – if she couldn't give a 10,000 word report on exactly what had happened with each injury, they'd demand the civilians come back to shore. "I didn't mean to snap at her."

"Yeah, well, you did. It took Buffer and I an hour to calm her down enough. That's right, Buffer and I. Not you and I. But no, I'm the one neglecting Cassie and leaving her alone when I should be watching her at every hour of the day." He shook his head at her. "She shouldn't even be here."

"That's what this is about isn't it?" Nav's business face back on, she glared across the table at him. "This isn't about my mothering skills, this is about the fact that you think and have always thought that Cassie shouldn't be here. That she's a burden on everyone."

ET put his hands to his forehead and leant back. "We've been over this."

"Yeah, well, let's do it again because we clearly haven't cleared the air. Tell me Josh, what would you rather happen eh? We send her back to Brisbane where it's unsafe?" Nav's voice rose.

"It's unsafe here!" ET yelled back. He held his hand up to prove his point.

"No, that was just YOU being childish and stupid again."

ET shook his head and stood up. "I'm not doing this Nikki. You wanted Cass here, and then when the reality that she needs constant attention hit you, you pawned her off to me. It's just typical of you – when the going gets hard give it to someone else."

"Is that what you think I do?" Nav said, growling. She too stood.

"Yes, that's what I think. You know what else I think?" ET asked, not waiting for a reply. "I think you were promoted to CO far too soon. You think too much with your heart and not enough with your head."

For almost a minute Nav just stood there, fuming, then she raised her arm to the door. "Bathrooms, all of them, now."

ET nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guessed as much. When it all gets too hard, get out." Then, yanking open the door, he stepped out. "Ma'am." He stormed off as Nav remained standing in the Senior Sailor's Mess, just catching her breath. After a few seconds she regathered herself and, with a small sniff, headed back to work.