Chapter Eighteen - Fire

I had the same nightmare every single night. The only thing that would change was the way the man would kidnap me - it was like every night he became more angry, more violent. Tonight he decided to bash me over the head until I was unconscience before dragging me away as usual. At least he didn't break my legs again.

I woke up then and looked at my clock: it was three fifty one in the morning. At least it was Friday, and I could get more sleep over the weekend. Jacob was snoring loudly so I didn't have to be too quiet not to wake him as I left the room. I made my way to the dining room table and decided to kill my night by writing Nahuel.

I told him a whole lot of nothing - he already knew pretty much everything that was going on here. I ended the short letter with " I miss you already, and I could never forget you. Love, Renesmee P.S. I have some more words for you......"

He would know what I meant. Music was the one thing we could definitely agree on. I flipped the paper over and wrote down the back:

"I wonder have you ever seen the sky
And felt this weight upon open eyes
New death sensation
Flesh flowers dream to bloom
Illumination
New death sensation
We dance the stone death naked by the shore
I hear her highway song forevermore
Illumination
New death sensation
Empty is this tomb
Lay this flesh to waste
Let the pieces fall where they may
Insects play their sunshine games
Splashing blood upon my soul
Crisp black kiss upon my skull
Lay this flesh to waste
Let the pieces fall where they may
Let the worms play their sunshine games
Splashing blood upon my soul
Crisp black kiss upon my skull
Empty is this tomb"

Hope you like it!"

I heard a door opening gently down the hall as I placed a stamp onto the addressed envelope.
"What are you doin, Ness?" Jacob asked drowsily.
"I had my nightmare again. I couldn't sleep anymore, so I wrote Nahuel."
"Again? I'm sorry sweetie. We'll find that guy, I swear," he said in a much clearer voice. He was really worried about me.
"It's okay," I assured him. "It's just my own head messing with me."
"Do you want to get out of here this evening? The council is meeting up tonight. They'll have a fire, and both packs will be there."
This excited me greatly. I had been wanting to spend some time in La Push. "That sounds perfect! But...... can we do something else before?"
"What?"
"I want to go swimming." I told him.
"Uh, Ness..... It's December."
"So. You'll keep me warm," I said as I wrapped my arms around him. "Besides, I'd rather go when nobody will be on the beach."
He snorted. "Yeah, because then nobody else will see you in a bikini."
"Is that a yes?"
"Sure, Nessie, we can do whatever you want. Now will you come back to bed with me? You don't have to be up for another hour or so."
"I'll lay with you, but I don't want to go back to sleep."
"I'll stay up with you," he said as we walked back into my dark bedroom.
I took my bathing suit in my bag to school so that we could go straight to the beach. I didn't want to be at home - I didn't feel very comfortable there anymore.
We got to Jacob's house quickly after school ended. It was actually sunny out today, even though it was only about forty degrees. I would be warm, though, even in the water. I would always be warm as long as Jacob was with me.
We sat around the house for a little while before we headed for the beach. Jacob looked both horrified and very excited when he saw the bikini I had chosen - white and light blue striped with only strings connecting all of the tiny peices of fabric.
"No one will be there. Just breathe," I joked. He picked me up and walked to the beach, carrying me the entire time. I heard voices as we approached, and Jacob froze after we were halfway down the sand.
"Oh, crap," he muttered under his breath.
"What is it?" I asked as I looked around. I stopped when I realized who he'd seen; there was an entire group of boys from school hanging out about thirty feet away, and Anthony was amongst them. Oh crap was right.
Jacob stood still and seemed to be deliberating over something inside of his head. Probably deciding if he should take me home, or punch Anthony in the face, or do what I wanted and just let it be. He chose to do what I wanted. He placed me gently to my feet.
"Maybe they won't notice you," he said hopefully. A second later, Anthony's voice said "Hey, is that Renesmee up there?"
"NESSIE??" A boy named Kevin yelled. So much for them not noticing I was here. I spun around in their direction and yelled, "Yeah?"
"Whoa," a blonde headed boy named David said. "She looks so hot in that......" He said it low, but Jake and I still heard him. Surprisingly, Anthony came to somewhat of a defense for me.
"Don't say that," he whispered. "She's alot more than that. She's beautiful."
I looked up at Jacob's face to try to figure out what to do. His expression was unreadable. "Do you want to just go?" I asked him as the group began to migrate towards us.
"That's okay. This is what you wanted to do today, and I want you to be happy." He stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my body. "You should be pretty cold right now," he reminded me. "You might want to shiver a little bit."
"What are you doing out here today? Aren't you freezing?" Anthony asked as he walked up, pretending like Jake wasn't even here.
"It's not that bad." I shivered lightly for effect. "I'm going to go swimming."
His eyes bulged and his mouth popped open. "You can't swim out there today!! You'll get hypothermia!"
I rolled my eyes at him. "I'll be fine."
He looked up at Jacob. "You can't let her do that. She could get really sick," he said seriously. Why did he care? I knew I wouldn't get sick- I couldn't even catch a cold.
"What do you want to do, Renesmee?" Jacob asked me, hugging me up tighter. He was wonderful... I could probably ask him to take me sky diving and he would do it.
"Let's just go." I smiled up at him hugely. "I know something else fun we can do," I told him excitedly. He laughed as he picked me up and swung me around. I forgot that other people were standing around us until one of them cleared their throats.
"See you guys later!!" I yelled happily as Jake carried me back towards the house. I heard someone say, "Does he ever let her walk?" and someone answer, "Why would he? I'd never put her down either," but I ignored them. I was going to go have my fun with Jacob.
"Wake up, Nessie," Jake said softly in my ear. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. I looked out the window and it was getting pretty dark.
"It's time to go soon. You do still want to go, don't you?" he asked me.
"Yeah, of course. This should be fun..... are they going to tell us stories?" My eyes grew wide with excitement; I loved the Quileute legends, ever since I was little. They painted pictures of a different world to me, a place where beautiful russet skinned people lived everywhere in the area, surrounded by the wilderness and being able to be what they truly were with no fear of what the rest of the world would do to them. I wished I was from a world like that.
Jacob chuckled at my giddiness. "Yeah, I'm sure they've got one for us."
I got up and fixed myself quickly; I must have rolled around alot while I napped, and my hair was sticking out in all directions. Or it might have happened before I went to sleep....
"Hey, I just realized something," I said.
"What?"
"I didn't have a nightmare. Just now, I mean. Maybe I should sleep over here more often."
Jacob smiled. "You could, if you wanted. I'm sure Billy wouldn't mind."
"We'll see if this peaceful sleep thing lasts, but if it comes back when I sleep at home, I'll probably do that," I decided. I'd been so tired all week from waking up every night, and if I found a place that I could avoid my night terrors, I was definitely going to take advantage.
We set off for the top of a high cliff overlooking the ocean, about a three mile walk from Jake's house. We went at a normal human pace, savoring our aloneness as we walked hand in hand through the crisp night air. Jacob carried a blanket for me, even though he knew I wouldn't need it. He was such a gentleman.
We arrived a bit early to the place everyone met up, so Jacob went ahead and started the fire so no one else would have to worry about it. The blue flames crackled as we cuddled together underneath the moon.
The wolves began to arrive shortly after we did.
"Hey, Nessie!" Seth hugged me. Jacob shot him a look of warning, and he ignored it. Seth was like a brother to me, he would never think of me in that way. He had also just imprinted on someone, the girl tagging along behind him that I was about to meet.
"This is Liz, Ness." I shook her hand politely and we both said hello. She was tall and thin, yet still feminine. Her hair was long and almost white it was so blonde. She had wide blue eyes, one with a streak of brown going straight through it from her pupil to the edge of her iris. She was not what I'd expected, but still very pretty.
"Hey, Ness!!" Embry called out as he led the rest of the entire group towards where we were. He gave me a hug, too, and then almost all of them swept me up into hugs and hello's. Most of them really did like me, even considered me family. I loved the werewolves; I thought they were truly amazing.
Paul came up the cliff , carrying Billy's wheel chair up the steep path. "Hey Jake, didn't see ya there," Paul joked as he playfully punched Jacob in the arm. They used to not get along so well, especially when Paul married Rachel, but they were fine now.
"What are you doing here? Is Rache with you??" Jacob asked, a glint of excitemeny flaring in his eyes.
"Sorry, it's just me. She had to work," Paul told him sadly.
Sam and Emily were the last to arrive. "Hey, Em!" I said as I hugged her around her neck.
"Hey, Nessie, long time no see," she laughed. I loved Emily. There was something about her, how caring and nurturing she was.... she almost acted like a second mother to me, and never held any hostility towards what I was.
It had been pretty rough for awhile between the werewolves and I. They all knew they could never hurt me because of Jake's imprint, even though I had no idea about that at the time. They had apparently been worried I would try to eat Jacob, or go wild like a newborn and rip their town apart.
They all trusted me now, though. For the most part, at least. Sam had always kept a good distance, never saying much to me, or not looking me in the face when he did. And Leah practically hated me, although I wasn't sure now ever since our little chat in the woods. Although I highly doubt that conversation could have put me in her good graces, it probably just made her pity me at the time.
Everyone finished greeting each other and slowly piled around the fire. Billy pulled out a few packs of hot dogs and four bags of marshmallows and everyone started roasting them on the tips of sticks. I ate a few marshmallows - They weren't that bad. Too...... mushy though. Jake burnt the outside of one and I tried it next. The center was liquid goo, and I thought that was much better.
I leaned against Jacob and waited for things to calm down so that the story would start. He ate about a whole pack of hot dogs in under five minutes.
I was suddenly very confused - I was not in the same place I had been a moment ago. Somewhere inside of my head, a voice told me that I was dreaming, but it was not loud enough. I looked around at the woods surrounding me and started to wander.
"Jacob? Where are you??" I yelled through the trees. Where had I been a moment ago?
"JAKE!!!" I yelled louder, hoping he was close enough to hear me.
"Renesmee," he said from right behind me.
"I was worried," I told him as I spun around to give him a hug. His warm arms wrapped around me tightly. When I pulled away, it was not Jacob's arms that were holding me - it was the man I had seen on Thanksgiving, the man from my nightmares.
I turned to run away from him, but his strong hands grabbed my shoulders before I could move.
"You're not going anywhere without me," he said angrily. "Forget about Jacob. You belong to me now."
"No!!!" I screamed.
"Nessie!!!!!" Jacob screamed close to my ear. "It's alright, sweetie, you just fell asleep...." He cradled me into his chest and rocked me gently. I opened my eyes and looked around...... I was in La Push. Two large packs of werewolves sat around me with wide eyes. I must have screamed out loud.
Suddenly, the wind shifted in our direction and everyone here that was not completely human jumped up, including me. Could this be another delusion brought on by my dream? I watched the figures around me trembling and I knew the answer was no. He was here, his scent had floated to us in the breeze.
I inhaled deeply to better perceive the slight differences between his scent and the scents of the others; my werewolves smelled very woodsy, each one with their own subtle twist to it. This wolf smelled woodsy, too, but there were hints of what I thought to be winter weather mingled in. It smelled the way it did outside the day before a big snow.
"Leah, phase and take Nessie to my house. Don't let her out of your sight for a second," Jacob said anxiously as all the non-werewolves in the area began their way back down the cliff with Brady.
I looked up at him bewildered. "You're leaving me?" I asked in a small voice.
He looked at me with pained eyes. "I have to finish this now, Ness. I have to make you safe again." I could only stare as he started with his brothers through the trees.
"I love you!!!!" he yelled right before he burst into his other form. Two huge hairy arms grabbed me up and started carrying me away as I stared at the spot where Jacob had disappeared.