-"Mea Culpa"-

-Mea Culpa is a Latin Phrase that translates as "My Fault".

-Inspired By A Medley of Songs That Are Noted In Text-

-Yet Another Sequel/Chapter-

-Warning: Angst, and not for people who really like Bella. You've been warned. Characters are OOC.-

"I am here and somewhere else
I have nothing more
I am becoming crazy
I am letting myself go

I desire you
Take me
I'm yours"

-lyrics from the English Translation of "Mea Culpa" by: Enigma. (Originally in French).

They sank back down into the bed, sated and feeling only half-guilty. Well... that wasn't completely honest. He wasn't guilty in the slightest. He felt this to be the only natural course, for them to be together like this, to love one another. He'd been hinting at it for a long time now, a month or two perhaps. It didn't mean he was over Bella, but that he was trying to move on, and frankly, he was going for what was comfortable. They'd known each other for over a half-century, so their relationship was comfortable to him.

Still, he was faring better than she was. Alice was having a hard time letting go, and she feared she never would....

She could remember a time long ago when she had been blissful. Loved. Complete. Devoted. Loved back.

It seemed ages ago to her now, but however long it felt, her memories were never obscured by things as petty as time. No, she could recollect quite clearly that night. It had been the first time she'd lain with the man that she would marry, and it was important for more reasons than just the lovemaking. It was about trust. It was about being vulnerable and not getting hurt. It was also about love and being with that person in the most primal of ways.

Right about now though, it all felt worthless. A waste of time. Something she did in the meantime to get to where she was today. A sad thought, but that's how she was feeling.

Future, past, present. Not the usual order, but she didn't mind those sorts of little nuisances anymore.

She could hear Edward coming into the room, and she stopped breathing for the moment. He climbed up on the mattress behind her, moving along until he was on the other side of the bed with her between his legs.

What are you doing?

"Surely you must have seen."

Yes, but that?

"Yes... that. If you want."

"I do," she answered aloud, suprising herself only marginally. She had seen herself going through with it, but things changed. Just not this time it seemed.

Edward tentatively reached his hands around her, placing them them on her knees, and gently massaging the flesh there. She lolled her head back against his shoulder, nonverbally encouraging him to go on with what he was doing. Edward then moved his hands up her thighs, digging his fingers in with firm touches, making a chill go down her spine. It'd been a while since she'd been in this sort of position, what with her husband all but absent. It felt wrong but right at the same time.

He paused just at the hem of her skirt and instead brought his hands up to unbutton her blouse, working down the garment effortlessly as if he'd been doing it all his life. His lips pressed an open-mouthed kiss at the base of her neck, and traced his tongue along the exposed skin as he finished taking off the blouse. She shut her eyes, mouth slightly parted as she gave into what she was feeling. He knew what he was doing, that was for certain.

Alice hadn't worn anything under the blouse, not today anyways. Edward seemed excited at that prospect, as he nibbled on her ear somewhat possessively as he cupped a breast in each hand, his thumbs tweaking her nipples gently. Soon one hand was back on her leg, going under her skirt, and pushing her panties aside. His fingers brushed against her sex, and she bit down on her lip in response, feeling that oldest sense of need wash over her in an instant.

They were going through with this. There'd be no change in what she'd seen.

He kissed the sensitive spot below her ear just as he pushed three fingers inside, stretching her. She let out a whimper, and his other hand went from her breast to her hair, gently massaging her scalp as he moved his fingers in a comfortable rhythm, in-out, in-out.

Very soon her eyes rolled back in her head, and her lips parted, letting out only a whisper of a noise. Edward smiled and kissed the top of her head, happy now. Next he moved them both, laying her on her back on the bed gently, his eyes roaming over her summarily, committing her naked curves to memory. She was so beautiful....

--

They sank back down into the bed some time later, sated and feeling only half-guilty. Well... that wasn't completely honest. He wasn't guilty in the slightest. He felt this to be the only natural course, for them to be together like this, to love one another. He'd been hinting at it for a long time now, a month or two perhaps. It didn't mean he was over Bella, but that he was trying to move on, and frankly, he was going for what was comfortable. They'd known each other for over a half-century, so their relationship was comfortable to him.

"I love you," he said, his eyes soft with the professed emotion.

"Edward..." she began anxiously.

"Alice, I'm not making you say it back to me, but I am going to say it to you. It's how I feel, even if right now, you don't quite... feel the same," he muttered, sighing afterwards. He sounded resigned, and she felt a twinge of guilt. But she couldn't lie about what she felt to make him feel better. He deserved honesty from her; she wasn't going to lie like their ex-spouses had.

"It's not that I don't love you, Edward, because I do... it's just different than how I feel about... him. You're two different people. For example, the way you loved Bella was not the same as how you love me now. Each love or lover merits a different... well I don't know. A different response, perhaps."

"So, in essence, you do love me. But not like Jasper. That's why you can't say it?"

"Yes. I'm used to saying it to him. It'll take getting used to before I could say it to you. But yes, I do love you."

"Well, it's vague, but you've made me very happy by saying it."

"Good."

"How it mattered to us,
How it mattered to me,
And the consequences
I was confused,
By the birds and the bees
Forgetting if I meant it"

-"Meds" by: Placebo

He was staring darkly at the ceiling, glaring at it really. He felt disgusted, used, pathetic. A toy that was easily thrown away, that's what he was. There was no denying it, and now that she was gone away for the day, he could finally feel and think what he wanted to, even if being himself was a depressing thing at this current junction.

Bella was out today with Esme, they were shopping, and so it was just him and Carlisle at home.

So far, Jasper had decided that his only ally could be Carlisle. Esme wouldn't want to mess with the family dynamic, and she was far too kind-hearted for this sort of thing. Carlisle was usually, but he was practical. He would understand why things needed to be done, and he'd help do them. Thus why he made the natural choice of ally. In fact, Jasper really ought to speak with him now while he had a chance.

Knowing this, he got up from the bed that in an earlier, better time, he'd occasionally lain with his wife on, but nowadays was for him only. At least he could say that Bella had never gone as far as to bring her toying with him in here. So the bedroom made a safe haven of sorts for him whenever he wasn't under her control. But for now, he had to leave it.

He journeyed out of the room entirely and down the hall to his father figure's study where he knew he'd be. It was never hard for Jasper to locate anyone not with him sensing their emotional core. Sure enough, a mixture of worry and peace signaled that he was in fact in the study. Jasper pushed the door open and strode in, finding him at his desk, writing something in a leather-bound notebook. Journal perhaps?

"Carlisle?"

"Yes, Jasper?"

"Could I talk with you? It's important, otherwise I wouldn't interrupt..."

"Of course. What did you wish to talk about?"

"Bella," Jasper wasted no time in saying. "And her power."

Carlisle looked up from his notebook then, seemingly intrigued by this bit, though his face was wary. "Oh?" he began, "And what about it concerns you, exactly?" he sounded a little upset and anxious, with the feelings to match it. Jasper wondered what Carlisle knew about Bella already, besides the obvious things that also involved himself.

"Well the fact that she's controlling me, Carlisle, is what concerns me. She's taken things from me. People I loved! It's all a game to her!" he blurted out hysterically, the wound being reopened for his father's examination. He wished he could cry because however unmanly it was, he felt bad enough that were he human, he would probably embarrass himself right now by sobbing like a child. He couldn't help it. She'd ruined his life.

"Controlling? So it's true," Carlisle murmured. "But she's gone now."

"It must not work when she's... not around me, I suppose. I... Carlisle you know that usually, I would not want to hurt anyone, not anymore. But for her, I almost feel like I'd make an exception," Jasper said, sighing unhappily. "I mean, she turned Alice against me. Surely you understand how I'm feeling."

"I know how I would feel... were I in your position. She actually tried one weekend to seduce me, but I ran off. It sounds cowardly, but it's all I could think of at the moment, and it worked. You're right --- she has to be nearby for her power to have any effect. The distance cancels it out."

"Not you too," Jasper lamented. "She really is conniving... Alice was right."

"What do you want to do?"

"Well obviously get rid of her. It'd be the least violent way to get her away. Kick her out, so we won't be stooping to her level."

"I agree. Violence wouldn't solve the problem anyway."

"And then, I need to get ahold of Alice. Let her know what's happened." He was sad again. Carlisle noticed, but said nothing to exacerbate the feeling. "Did she... did she tell you where her and Edward were going?" Jasper asked.

"Well surely you remember. They were very quiet about leaving. Just said goodbye to Esme and I and then left. They told us they were going to roam, but they never told us any specific destinations. So really it's all up in the air. But they weren't gone forever, they said they'd stop in now and then."

"Yes, but not to see me. Because of Bella, she doesn't even want to speak to me, or see me. Just you, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett." He sounded tortured, Carlisle noted, and it was that that ultimately resolved him that they had to get rid of Bella sooner rather than later. It was all becoming too much for him and for three of his 'children.'

What needed to be done would just have to be done. Enough already.

"She never said she loved me
she never said goodbye
she never said she loved me
she never said goodbye"

-"Angels With Even Filthier Souls" by: Hawthorne Heights.

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