Greenlee took a deep breath as she held the door knob to her penthouse. It must have been a couple minutes she had been standing there, endlessly shifting her brain from thoughts of facing that empty loft and running in the other direction as fast as she possibly could. Slowly, she finally turned the handle and slightly pushed on the door.
Everything looked the same way she left it. The coffee table was smashed to bits from her encounter with Vanessa; one of the couch's pillows displayed an unnerving bullet hole. Greenlee finally took her first step inside – memories flooding her thoughts. She turned around to rush out but strongly scolded herself: "Come on, Greenlee!" she reprimanded. "You are a strong woman. You've faced enough empty rooms in your life – don't go running from another one!" She turned back around ready to face her new reality. "Be strong for Leo," she encouraged herself.
She walked over to the mantel and stared at a picture of Leo. Taking hold of it, she began to caress the picture of his face. What a beautiful face – the face of the man she loved and who loved her – a face she would never get to caress again. The thought brought on some tears as she slowly walked over to the couch and sat down. Unable to find a comfortable spot with all of the cushions shifted due to her fight with Vanessa, she stood up halfway to fix the middle cushion and noticed a small white paper sticking out of the back. Reaching out for it, she loosened it from its wedge in the couch and nervously unfolded it.
"Still waiting on that French lingerie. Let's fix that! Love ya, baby."
Leo was always leaving stuff like that around the loft. Greenlee knew what he meant too. She got some French Lingerie during her trip to Paris when the two of them were looking for Vanessa's drug money. She would have modeled it then if not for the Count duPres interrupting them. Thoughts of Paris began running through her brain. She remembered surprising him there in the bathtub and how he got her their special necklace. She placed her hand where the necklace lay on her chest, tenderly rubbing on its three diamonds. They were supposed to symbolize their yesterdays, todays, and tomorrows together. She wiped away more tears as it became more and more clear that all she had left were yesterdays.
knock knock
"Go away!" Greenlee yelled, holding Leo's picture close to her chest. She didn't want anyone seeing her so torn up.
knock knock
Greenlee thought of yelling again, but couldn't find the resolve. She was too worn out to argue. Besides, it was probably just David worried about her leaving the memorial service so suddenly. "Alright, I'm coming," she gave in, drying her face with her hands as best she could. She placed the picture of Leo back on the mantel and tucked the note away behind it. With a sniff she walked towards the door. "I'm going to let you in David," she said as she began to open the door, "but you better have a serious…"
She stopped as she noticed that it wasn't David that had come. "Ryan?" she acknowledged with surprise. He was nowhere near the top of her list of people she expected to see. She had noticed he was at the memorial service but didn't care to talk to him. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she had talked to him. He may have been friends with Leo, but she had nothing to do with him and that had been just fine with her.
"What do you want?" she asked harshly.
"Can I come in?" he requested.
"What do you want?" she repeated, this time her tone filled more with annoyance than harshness.
"I just wanted to check on you, Greenlee," Ryan stated. "Really. I come in peace," he said, picking up his hands as if to show he was unarmed.
She stared at him quizzically for a moment before taking a step away from the door and motioning that it was okay for him to enter.
Ryan walked past her into the loft.
"You can thank my mother-in-law for the mess," Greenlee told him, noticing he was staring at the broken glass from the coffee table. "So again, what do you want?"
Ryan sat down in the chair and waited for her to take a seat across from him on the couch. "I know we've had our issues, Greenlee," he began. "But we both loved Leo so I felt like I had to come. I thought maybe I could help since after what happened with Gillian… I just understand what you're going through, that's all."
"Oh, you think you understand? At least you had a body to bury!" she shot back. "Something to say goodbye to! All I have is…" She stopped herself realizing once again that she was trying to ignore her own pain by focusing it on attacking someone else. "I'm sorry," she collected herself. "You didn't deserve that. I'm just on emotional overload right now."
"So we're officially on truce mode, then?" he pointed out. "Good. That's good because there were some things I had to get off my chest now that Leo's gone. That okay?"
Greenlee nodded at him. They weren't exactly friends, but he was right that now they did have something in common. Maybe he could help her.
"Okay. Well, you know that I wasn't exactly your biggest advocate with Leo. I admit that I never understood it – what he saw in you, I mean. I only saw you for who you used to be so I would always warn him off you and try and convince him to leave you or stay away from you, or that not being with you was the greatest thing that could happen to him. But I also need to tell this to you because I never did say it to him, maybe because I couldn't admit it myself: but it was seeing how Leo loved you while he was married to Laura that helped me move on after Gillian. I know he could never admit how he felt then, but I could see it. It was as clear as day how he felt about you and the fact that he couldn't have you left him a miserable wreck."
"I know he loved me, Ryan," Greenlee interrupted him. "So what are you getting at?"
"It's just that I saw the difference in him from when he lost you to when he was married to Laura. It was like the life was sucked out of him, you know? It was the same way I was going through life without Gillian. I couldn't let myself feel for the longest time, and looking at Leo was like looking at myself in a mirror. It just made me realize that none of all this is worth it without someone you love. And when he got you back, it was like the lights got turned back on or something. I mean, what I'm trying to say is… you two had that special kind of love that makes everyone around you want it too."
Ryan's comments had Greenlee floored. She couldn't believe he had been there for a whole couple minutes without a single snide comment and not only that, but was actually praising what she had with his best friend! The same one he wanted to stay far away from her!
"Wow. Um, thank you, Ryan," she acknowledged, brushing away another tear forming in her eye. I know Leo would appreciate that."
"Well telling you is the next best thing," he replied, leaning forward in the chair and placing his hand on her knee. "I'll be around so if you want anything, Greenlee, I can try to help you… for Leo."
Unsure of anything she could say to him at the moment, Greenlee simply nodded. The fact that Ryan would even come, friend of Leo or not, was still having a tough time registering with her. It was strange enough being in that loft without Leo, but now Ryan being nice to her meant the world must really be coming to an end.
"Okay, I better go," Ryan said, standing up as he noticed her silence. Greenlee simply sat still, giving no reaction. "You obviously want some privacy. I'll let myself out," he volunteered, hoping to elicit some movement on Greenlee's part, but none came.
Ryan walked out of the penthouse and closed the door behind him. As he pushed the elevator button a scary thought came to him: he was missing something. That warm fuzzy feeling he had while he was in Greenlee's loft was gone. "No way! It… it can't be!" he told himself. It wasn't possible. It must be he was only transferring his feelings for Kendall to another source, because he couldn't have feelings for Greenlee… could he?
In her penthouse, Greenlee continued to stare into space, thinking about what Ryan said – that loving someone else is what makes life worth it. She felt a little comforted by his kind words about Leo's love for her, but if he was right about the rest of it… that wasn't something she was ready to hear. Was she supposed to go through life looking for the best scraps she could find while trying to convince herself that it was the real thing? She had experienced the real thing. What she had with Leo was one of a kind. What was supposed to measure up? Memories began flooding back to her. She remembered that it was while sitting in the same spot that she was sitting in right now that she first asked Leo to marry her. She turned her head left toward the fireplace – it was while sitting right next to the fireplace that Leo gave her an ornament last Christmas, and promised to give her a new one every year. Greenlee walked back over to the mantel and took out Leo's note from behind the picture, rereading it over and over until tears started falling again. That was enough – she had to get out of there. She took out Jack's card and dialed the number. "Jackson, it's Greenlee. Can we meet now?"
----------
"… so I knocked him out and ran through the woods until I got to your door," Leo concluded as he sipped his coffee.
Leo couldn't have asked for a better hostess. He had passed out mere seconds after entering the house, but the old lady, Mrs. Foster, was able to revive him long enough to get him a drink of water. She then rushed him off to her guest bedroom and ordered him to rest. Leo was grateful she listened to him by not calling an ambulance. He had really lucked out with Claire, as she had asked him to call her. Apparently, she wasn't into the formal stuff any more than he was.
"That's some story, Leo," she acknowledged with a smile – always with a smile. The aura she gave out was one of such warmth and kindness, Leo felt like one look from her could turn even the most sadistic criminals into harmless pussycats.
"What? Do you think I'm crazy?" he questioned with a grin. "No way could something like this happen, right?"
"No, no, Leo. That's not it. I believe you. But it's not everyday that a man shows up near death on my doorstep."
Leo let loose a sigh of relief before buckling over in pain, grabbing his chest.
"Oh dear, Leo," Claire stood up in concern. "Looks like you need to get back to bed. One good nights sleep can't heal all of you injuries."
"I'm alright, I'm alright," Leo barely squeaked out, not reassuring Claire in the slightest. Regaining himself, he was able to sit back up straight in his chair again, giving his hostess a little relief. "Don't worry about me, Claire," he told her after catching his breath. "It's just some sore ribs. You're taking great care of me and I'm so incredibly thankful. But I can't stop thinking about Greenlee. I mean, she must think I'm dead. But I can't go to her because I know they will be waiting for me. That's why I couldn't have you call anyone. As long as the world thinks I'm gone, Greenlee is safe."
Mrs. Foster breathed deeply, sympathetically looking at Leo. "I understand. But are you sure this is the right thing to do for Greenlee? You obviously care about her very much, and she must feel the same about you. What must she be going through thinking that you are gone?"
Leo stared into space as he wondered what Greenlee was doing at that moment. She must be in so much pain right now. There had to be something he could do.
"Leo?" Claire brought him back to reality. "You know I'm right, don't you?"
Leo smiled and nodded. "Of course you are. All I've been thinking about is how I can see her and talk to her again, or just hug her and tell her everything is going to be okay. But they'll be watching her, probably even have our phone tapped. And I can't put her in danger… not again."
Leo looked at the older woman hoping for some sage advice. He could see the wheels turning in her head, but no words were coming out.
"It's just... none of this makes any sense," Leo began again. "Did that guy never clean his floors to not realize there was a pin I could use to get loose not a couple feet away? Did I just luck out? I should have died twice in the last week, and yet here I am!"
"I'd say it looks like you have friends in high places," she smiled. She took Leo's coffee mug and brought it over to the sink to clean it. "But Leo, you should know that I speak from experience. I was with my husband when he died."
"I'm so sorry," Leo offered. "When?"
"Oh, about five years ago," Claire answered. "Lung cancer. The way my husband smoked it's amazing it didn't happen sooner. But I feel so blessed that we got all the time we did and that I was able to tell him goodbye and that I loved him before he left the world. Greenlee didn't get that chance. Don't underestimate how much she is hurting right now without you."
"Believe me, Claire, all the physical pain I've got right now is nothing compared to that. The last thing I want in this world is to put my wife through any pain. But I don't know what to do. I need to get to her, but how can I do that and keep her safe?"
"By not exposing yourself," Claire explained. "No one would think to find you here."
"You sound like you've got an idea," Leo exclaimed with hope.
Claire chuckled through her huge smile. "I love reunions!"