Hello again, my super best pallies of internet-world!!! –shot-
Anyway, here's the fourth chapter. I like this one quite a bit…yes, yes, there is some Hot Kissing Action in this one, so keep your trousers on.
I also really like this chapter because not only is it fast-paced, but I threw in a sort of proto-friendship between Near and Matt. Now, it irritates me a bit that Matt is used in so many fics, as we don't know crap about the guy, but if I'm gonna be writing a Wammy-era fic I must utilize him anyway. I think he's at least bearable in here, and not OOC for someone who appeared in ten bloody manga panels.
As always, REVIEW. I'd like to thank you all for the truly epic amount of reviews I received last time, by the way! I'm not gonna hold this story hostage until I get a bunch of reviews, but they really do make me happier about writing. So, ya know, give it a try. :D
Disclaimererer: El Death Note no es de mi? No puedo hablar Espanol. Dame un besito, guapo!
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Near knew what he was doing, of course. A typical tactic: disorient the socially awkward opponent with promises of physical intimacy. It was, for Mello, sadly predictable.
But it hurt, somehow, having Mello find his weakness and ruthlessly twist it about for his own purposes. Especially as kissing the other boy was something that nowadays occupied about seventy percent of his thought processes (The other thirty percent was dedicated to something a bit more interesting than kissing). It seemed like a low blow, although it was obvious Mello hadn't guessed that Near was actually lusting after him. He just thought it was a good strategy, given Near's previous record of interacting with as few people as humanly possible.
Near was shaken out of his thoughts when Mello seized him by the scrawny shoulders and shoved their mouths together. Apparently, kissing methods could change drastically depending on the circumstances…where was his notebook? That ought to be written down.
His second kiss with Mello was even more excruciating than the first. This time, Mello was holding him, one hand tangled tightly in white hair and the other snaked around his waist.
What was he doing? Was that—oh God, he had opened his mouth? What happened now?
Near decided, not for the first time, that Mello tasted quite wonderful. And then, to his horror and slight joy, an aggressive tongue shoved its way into his mouth. He wanted to open his eyes in the hopes that he would somehow be enlightened as to proper kissing etiquette, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it and shatter the self-inflicted stupor.
Instead, he tentatively moved his own tongue a fraction of an inch, which was met by a jab to the upper mouth that—Agh!—seriously tickled.
Mello's hand, apparently taking on a diabolical life of its own, found a new home on a rather exciting portion of Near's anatomy. Having never had his arse grabbed before, Near jumped and squeaked into the other's mouth.
The kiss continued, Near's tongue putting up a pathetic battle against Mello's. The hand on his backside squeezed intermittently, then crept away for the safer climes of Near's shoulder. Finally, Mello pulled away, licking his lips with a vaguely satisfied air.
He had certainly gotten his wish—Near's face was the approximate color of a stop sign, his eyes wide and embarrassed.
Mello briefly regretted grabbing the boy's arse, but then passed it off as One Small Feel for Mankind. It all served a greater purpose, really.
But God, was Near a bad kisser. If the boy wasn't his sworn archenemy, he might have done something to rectify the condition. But as it was, kissing Near was only good for disorientation and specified cruelty. Speaking of which…
"Merry fucking Christmas, Near." With that, Mello walked off down the hallway, leaving Near to stare blankly at his retreating arse.
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Near had to give Mello credit. That one kiss had sent his mind whirling about for nearly two hours, and he was just now taking the chance to put his thoughts together.
He had finally managed to reach his room, and the door was now firmly locked with a chair placed under the knob for good measure. For once, there were no toys or cards spread across the white carpet; Near simply sat in the middle of the floor, knee pulled to his chest and a thoughtful expression on his childish features.
His original intent had been to seduce Mello. But now that Mello had kissed him, the other boy might regard any affection on Near's part as a clever attempt at revenge. Mello had ruined the plan entirely, and the worst part was that this was mostly Near's fault. If he had just pushed past the boy in the hallway, none of this would have happened, and he could have made the first move.
However, it was impractical to dwell on the past. What was done was done, and now Near had to put his admittedly brilliant mind to work and think up a new way to win Mello's affection.
If Mello believed that any kind words or expression of interest on Near's part were a ploy, the only option was to thoroughly convince Mello of his sincerity. That much was obvious. But…how on Earth could he do that? If there was one thing Near was famed for lacking, it was sincerity.
There was something that he could possibly do. He remembered a few months ago, when Linda had managed to drag him away from his puzzles and into the common room. They had been joined by several of Linda's friends, who were for the most part interchangeable. One of them, whose bland features did not bring to mind a name, had talked about her attempts to get one of the older boys to notice her. She had done something…what was it?
Oh, yes. The "Secret Admirer" trick. While Near would ordinarily dismiss this tactic as useless, much to his surprise he had encountered the bland girl and her object of desire entangled on the couch the very next week. Apparently, her strategy had worked flawlessly.
Not to mention, a secret admirer angle was perfect for Mello. It made use of Matt's advice to give Mello positive attention—what was more positive than an anonymous note declaring someone's love for you? And he could leave Mello gifts of chocolate, which was also according to Matt's instructions.
It was seemingly perfect. The only catch was that Near had no idea how to write a note to Mello and not immediately betray his identity. He had a very particular way of talking and writing, one that was far too cold and impartial for a love note.
As much as the idea pained his solitary soul, he would have to get some help. Unfortunately, his options were limited to Matt and Linda, they being the only two who were willing to talk to him on a regular basis. Linda would probably be quite skilled at using flowery romantic language, but she would also interrogate him ruthlessly about the subject and occasion of the note. Matt, while not the most talented with words, would already know of Near's plight and be able to deliver the note directly to the target.
Near slowly unfolded himself from the carpet and walked over to the bin that contained most of his favorite toys. Tucking a purple robot under his arm for moral support, he silently opened the door and crept into the hallway. At this time of day, most of the orphans were likely to be in the common room, exchanging gossip or trying angrily to read amidst the chatter. Both Matt and Linda were likely to be among their number.
His suspicions were proved correct when, upon entering the room, he immediately spotted a familiar ginger head bent over yet another handheld game. Linda, on the other side of the room, was sitting with a group of chattering young girls. Judging from the sketchpad in front of her, she was once more encouraging her artistic talent by sketching furtive portraits of those she found attractive.
Near went over to Matt first, as the gamer was relatively isolated and there was less chance of their conversation being overheard. As he approached, the older boy glanced up and shot a quizzical expression in his direction. Near took a spot on the floor next to him, setting his robot on the floor to survey the other children.
"What's wrong, Near?" Matt asked, turning to face the other. Near creased his brow in what might have passed for a frown.
"Why do you assume that something has gone wrong?" He looked at Matt quizzically, one hand coming up to tangle itself in unbrushed white hair. Matt grinned slightly at him.
"Well, you're never in the common room, much less for the express purpose of talking to me, so the only reason you'd be in here now is if something went wrong with, you know…Mello." At the last part, Matt lowered his voice, earning Near's emphatic gratitude.
Near nodded slowly. "I suppose I had better tell you what happened earlier, then. As I was returning to my room, I ran into Mello. He humiliated me, and I'm afraid I revealed that by blushing. Taking this as an incentive, Mello decided to mock me further by, uh…engaging me in a kiss. Then, naturally, he verbally insulted me once more and left."
Matt, looking pensive, sat silent for a moment as Near once more fought down a rising blush at the memory of the incident. Say what you like about Mello's personality, intelligence, and appearance—kissing the other boy was, as of yet, the most pleasurable contact he had ever had with another human being.
Matt finally formulated a reply. "So, since Mello kissed you, now he'll think that if you flirt with him you're just trying to get revenge. I guess that kind of ruins all that advice I gave you before."
Near inclined his head to indicate the truth in Matt's statement, then looked at the other again. "You are right on the first account, Matt, but there is still a way to incorporate your advice to me into another tactic. However, I think I will require your aid."
Matt frowned. "What's your new plan, then?"
Near looked slightly ashamed for a moment, then resumed his usual haughtiness. "I intend to become Mello's secret admirer, as I believe it is called."
Matt stared at him for a moment, his lips twitching. Near widened his eyes. "Are you suggesting that this plan is a flawed one?"
"No, no!" replied Matt apologetically. "I just never really thought you would suggest something like that. It's a good idea, though, even if I don't see why you need my help."
Near took another quick glance around the room, mindful of potential eavesdroppers. "If I intend to write Mello affectionate notes, I will need to write them in a way so that I will not be recognizable. Unfortunately, I am not sure of how to accomplish this. I thought that you, as a relatively normal-sounding teenager, might be able to tell me some things to write that will not reveal my identity."
Matt sighed, casting a longing glance at the game in his hands before switching the console off and standing up.
"Yeah, I'll help you. Let's go ask Linda for some paper, okay?"
Near stared at him, a look of nearly-indiscernible horror crossing his features. "No. Not Linda. I have some paper in my room."
Matt snorted, holding out a hand to the still-seated Near. "I understand. Now, lead the way, as I don't know where the Hell your room is."
Near, after judging the nail-bitten hand dangling in front of him to be an unthreatening object, grasped Matt's wrist and allowed himself to be tugged gently upwards. "My room is located in the third West hallway, five doors down from the second closet."
Matt leaned down and placed the purple robot in Near's arms. "See, this is why I asked you to lead the way." The red-haired boy smiled, causing Near to wonder if he was supposed to act in turn. Luckily, Matt helped him out.
"You're supposed to smile at that point."
Near quirked the corners of his mouth just enough to pass for smiling. "Why do I smile now? Have you told a joke?"
"Yes, Near. You know, maybe we should learn the basics of human interaction before starting this whole secret admirer thing." Seeing Near's thoughtful expression, he added, "That was called 'teasing.' This is another good time to smile."
Near wondered how the average human being made it through the day with such a glut of social cues to act upon. Looking at Matt's amused face, he decided to simply ignore the ginger for now in favor of more pressing issues. Leaving the common room, he started in the direction of his own personal sanctuary. Matt fell into step beside him. "So, if you don't mind my asking, just how long have you been infatuated with the lovely Mello?"
Near looked at him with slight exasperation. "Is it really necessary to discuss that in the hallway, Matt? We could very easily be overheard."
"We're fine," Matt replied nonchalantly. "Everyone's outside or in the common room. Now, answer my question."
"Quite some time," Near admitted grudgingly, trying to remember when his longing for the overly aggressive blonde had made itself known. "Probably since last Christmas, in fact."
"What happened last Christmas?" Matt asked, not remembering anything of importance occurring in the past year's holiday. Near glanced at the floor, slightly embarrassed. "That was, you recall, when one of the older boys decided to get revenge upon Mello by—"
"—pantsing him in the middle of the common room. Yeah, I remember now. So, that made you realize that he was, in fact, a sexy beast?"
Near looked at him suspiciously, and Matt raised his hands in supplication. "I'm just joking, Near. He's all yours, I swear."
Near, turning down the hallway to his room, looked thoughtful for a moment. "It isn't just a physical attraction, I must confess. Although he is unreliable and emotional, he is also one of the only people I consider to be on the same mental level as myself." He paused, then added, "If it's worth anything, you're another one of those people."
Matt hid a grin. "Thanks, Near. It's nice to know you're actually aware of my existence occasionally. Hey, is this your room?" They both stopped.
Near nodded, pushing the door open. "How did you guess that this was my room?" he asked, entering and setting down his robot on the bedspread. Matt followed him in, closing the door behind them. "Well, it's really white in here. And there are toys everywhere."
Near murmured something in agreement, crouching down and reaching under the bed. "I believe I keep my paper in here, Matt. Hold on a moment." He turned around briefly, narrowing his eyes at the other. "Please do not touch my action figures, by the way."
Matt gave a thumbs-up, looking around the room in vague curiosity. "Why do you like the color white so much, anyway?"
Near, having retrieved a stack of plain printer paper, walked back over to the older boy. "White is the least distracting of all the colors—or should I say, shades, since it is not technically a color."
"Yeah," Matt said, "I guess I can understand that much, but you never want to be around any other colors?"
"My robot is purple," the smaller one replied, grabbing a pen off of the dressing table and sitting down next to Matt. "Now, how should we format this note?"
"Format?" Matt asked dubiously. "You fold it in half and write something inside. It's pretty basic."
Near followed the instructions, producing a flawless rectangle of paper. "Now, we must think of something to write inside."
"I'll do the writing bit," Matt offered, taking the pen and paper. "I've been teaching myself how to disguise my handwriting."
"In order to forge signatures, am I correct?" Matt grinned.
"You may be, at that. Now, what do you want this note to say?"
Near once more twisted a finger within a white lock of hair. "I am not certain. Perhaps we should start with a declaration of physical attraction."
Matt, using a small, cramped writing entirely unlike his own, carefully wrote: "Dear Mello; I think you're really hot."
"Alright, done that. What next?"
Near attempted to recall the famous love poems he had been ordered to analyze in various English classes. "Now, I believe, we use a simile contrasting his beauty to something in nature."
"Great, we're writing a sonnet," said Matt, tapping the pen thoughtfully against his closed lips. "We should probably compliment his hair, he considers it his finest asset."
Near, secretly reflecting upon some of Mello's other assets, nodded his assent. "So we must now think of famously yellow things. Daffodils, butter…"
"Sunshine, daisies, uh…sulfur…." Matt supplied. "Well, probably not sulfur. I think we ought to go with sunshine, myself."
"That sounds suitable," Near said, watching Matt carefully as the other boy wrote, "I think your hair is really lovely, it looks just like sunshine."
"That was poorly executed," Near commented. "But certainly, this doesn't sound like I am writing it."
"What now?" Matt asked, surveying the note. "I think we need at least one more line."
"In that case, my intentions ought to be stated. Write something about my hope that he will someday requite my feelings of romance towards him, please."
"I'm too shy to tell you who I am, but I hope that eventually you'll like me too."
Matt looked rather proud of his handiwork, and signed the bottom with a large "Your secret admirer." Folding the note back in half, he capped the pen and placed both in Near's hands. "A job well done, if I do say so myself." Near, accepting the pen and paper, returned his smile tentatively. "I thank you for your assistance, Matt."
"Any time. Well, actually not any time, but you get my meaning."
"I do?" Near asked, slightly confused. Matt grinned at him and stood to leave. Unfortunately, this was the same moment that Near also decided to stand, intending to show Matt out.
As is typical of two objects whose trajectories intersect, they collided. Matt was knocked to the floor, and Near, after wavering slightly, collapsed directly on top of him.
With a sense of timing typical of a B movie protagonist, Mello chose this moment to slam open the door to Near's room.
"Hey Near, I think I saw some of your woolly brethren toda—"
He was stopped dead by the sight that met his narrowed eyes: Matt sprawled on the floor, Near straddling the older boy's lap and face buried in his neck.
For a moment, the blond was speechless, but as the two embarrassed occupants of the floor scurried away from each other, he managed to find his voice.
"Matt? Near? What the HELL do you two think you're DOING?!"
A/N: Oh my goodness gracious meeee, that was a fun chapter to write. I know the ending is horribly and shamefully cliched, but I couldn't resist throwing another wrench into Near's happy little plan.
So, what do you guys think the chapter lengths should be? Do you want short, cliffhanger chappies in short succession or long, plotlicious ones that will be updated a bit less frequently? Because here at Cabbage's House of Fanfictions, we provide both. Heh heh. Tell me in a review what you think, or PM me or something. Coz I'm curious…I know that fast updates are delicious, but long chapters are more fun to read and don't drive you mad. Tell me what you want…I'm only here for your entertainment, after all. XD