Chapter Twenty Five - Jerrick
"Don't try to run. I'd find you," he said in a voice that was so close to my Jacob's that I felt my heart splintering to pieces. He suddenly reached over and ripped my necklace away from my neck, tossing it out the window. He was flying down the highway at an excess of one hundred twenty miles an hour. I kept my eyes on the trees, hoping beyond hope that I would see a werewolf running alongside us. I never did.
"Won't you talk to me, love? I've waited so long to meet you," he said sweetly. It made me sick to my stomach. "You'll learn to love me eventually," he concluded to himself.
I huffed in response. I would never love him, I would never feel anything but hate for him. He had been slowly unraveling my life, and now he'd all but ended it completely. I vowed silently to myself that if I was not found soon, I would end my own life. I was not living with him.
"Sorry for taking you that way," he continued. "It was much harder to get close to you than I'd expected."
How had he gotten close? Especially this close, since he now had me...... My parents had said that he was at my house, but no one had sensed him in La Push until he was already there.
He picked my hand up with his and interlocked his fingers with mine. He lifted my hand to his face and stroked his own cheek with it. I was completely disgusted; I did not ever want to touch him. I ripped my hand away from his.
"What was that?" he asked with a shocked expression. I must have sent him my thoughts through my captive hand. "How did I hear that? You didn't say anything....."
I was not going to explain it to him. Let him be confused, maybe it would give me a second to escape him. I looked out the window again and considered how long it would take me to jump out and get to my house, but I wasn't even sure where I was now.
"I'll kill them if you leave me," he said coldly. I looked over to measure his expression; he looked serious. I felt a chill run down my spine. I had no reason to doubt that his words were true.
So now I must stay with this man, or the people I loved would die? I knew I could never let that happen, and apparently so did he. I blinked furiously, wishing that everything happening was just another of my nightmares. I would have to share my life with someone I would forever hate, while the love of my life would be out there looking for me, waiting for me to return to him. And I never would.
"Even if you were to choose someone else and deny him, he would always be waiting. He would wait an eternity for you......" My mother's wordscame flooding back to me. I hoped she was right, and wrong at the same time. I was not denying Jacob by choice, nor did I choose another. He chose me, and now Jacob would always be waiting. I did not want him to though, I wanted at least one of us to find happiness. I knew it would not happen that way - Jacob needed me as badly as I needed him. We were both doomed to an eternity of pain now.
"Come on, Nessie. Just give me a chance," he pleaded. I wanted to hit him so bad, I had to curl up my fists and bite my lip as hard as I could. How dare he use Jacob's nick-name for me......
"Please?" he begged, looking at me with a smug puppy dog expression. I glared in return, making him laugh. "If you don't talk at all, I'll just talk the whole time."
I put my hand to his neck. I hate you, I thought loudly. Talk all you want, this is the last you'll be hearing from me.
"That is amazing!!" he said as I dropped my hand. "To think, I fall head over heels for this random girl, and she's got crazy super powers and stuff!!"
He sounded like a child to me. Super powers? Had he not ever dealt with our kind before? I argued silently with myself. I did not want to talk to this person, but I did want to have answers. Unfortunately, he was the only one who could give them to me.
"How did you get to me?" I asked angrily.
"It speaks!!!" he laughed excitedly. "And that, love, is a very long story."
"Stop it with the love bullshit," I snapped. "You don't love me, you don't even know me. You just imprinted on me is all." The word brought back the splintering in my heart. It was so close to shattering completely.
"What's that? And don't say I don't love you, that's all I do. You are the entire world to me now," he said, his voice a mix of pain and frustration.
"You can't help it..... the feeling in love with me part, I mean, not the being a psycho part. Haven't you ever heard of imprinting?"
"No. Explain it to me," he said hopefully. This was ridiculous to me; why should I have to explain to a werewolf about imprinting? He must have heard of it at some point. I did not want to talk about it anyways. Imprinting only made me think of one person, and thinking of him hurt too much at this moment.
"No," I said coldly. "Figure it out yourself. Ask your elders or something."
"Awww, won't you tell it to me though? I do love to finally hear your beautiful voice speaking to me," he said with sick sweetness.
"No," I repeated. I hated the huskiness of his voice, hated that this horrible being could remind me anything of Jacob. He could never be like him, no matter what he did. He would never be the sun, the air, the world. Never to me.
"That's fine, I have plenty of questions of my own," he smiled down at me as I forced stomach acid back down my throat. "What are you, besides the most beautiful creature on Earth?"
"Vampire and human," I answered reluctantly. Maybe if I answered his questions, he would answer mine.
"Vampire?? And human?? I didn't think that was possible," he said in obvious amazement. "Hmmm.... and your wolf? How did you come to be with him?"
"Next question," I said blankly, trying as hard as possible to not think about Jacob and his perfect face, his perfect body, his loving heart.....
"But that's the most important one," he argued. "I really would like to hear about him, he seems to care for you almost as much as I do."
My arm pulled inwards, then snapped out at his face.
"Owww!!!!!" he yelled as he regained control of the fast car and rubbed his jaw.
"Don't you ever talk about my Jacob!!!!!" I screamed just inches from his face. "Your love is nothing in comparison to his for me!!!! You could never have that much love contained inside of your heart!!!!"
"Why did he leave you today then? I heard you tell him no," he said like he was trying to reason with me. Part of my brain questioned how he knew that, but the anger won over it.
"He left me so that he could kill you!!!! He wanted to prevent this exact situation!!!!!"
"Well, he didn't do a very good job, did he?" he said smugly. I resisted the urge to punch him again, remembering that his strength out-weighed mine. "You are with me now, and he is never going to see you again."
I felt traitor tears pouring from my eyes. I could not live if I never saw Jacob again, I did not want to. Just the thought of it tore a new hole inside of me, one that spanned the entirety of my chest.
"I'm sorry, please don't cry," he said as he tried to wipe a tear away. I couldn't move to avoid him. I felt like an empty shell of what I once was. The rest of me belonged to Jacob, and I'd left it with him in our last moments together. I gripped ahold of every memory I could find inside of me of Jacob and pulled them like a blanket around my head. This would be the only peace left for me now.
"I don't mean to upset you, Renesmee, just telling you a simple truth. You can't see him, because he would try to take you away from me. You're much too precious to lose as soon as I've gotten ahold of you. Not that you are a possession, just more special than a regular girl."
I felt the car stop moving and the jerk of his door opening. He opened my door next and waited for me to get out of the car. I could not move; I was dead. He lifted me from my seat and carried me through a door.
"Hello, do you have a reservation?" A woman asked.
"Yes, it's under Jerrick White," he answered happily. His name killed me just a bit more, being so close and so opposite of the one I loved. He lifted one arm away from me and then started walking again. I felt the lifting of an elevator around me, and then heard a ding. He walked again, stopping to unlock the door with his key card.
Cleaner and flowers filled the air around me as I was laid gently onto a bed. I looked up and knew I was in a hotel, even though I had never seen one personally before. I was surprised to hear 'Ladybug' start playing in the room, one of my favorite songs. I had listened to it earlier today, just before Jacob left me forever. I tried to enjoy it like I always had, but the words held no meaning for me anymore. Corpses don't listen to music, and would not feel anything for it if they did.
"You really do intrigue me," he said. I repositioned myself slightly and noticed a book above my head. I looked up and saw my familiar photo album lying there. He must have really planned this out, down to where he would take me. "I do wish you would talk to me. You have no idea what I've been through to get you here."
I closed my eyes and could see nothing but Jacob. I latched on to him, reliving inside my head all of the perfect moments we'd had together. I pretended I was at home, warm in his arms like I wanted so badly to be. I felt his lips touch mine, his hands leave trails of fire down my skin. It was only a whisper of what was real, but it was the best I would ever feel again.
Two hot arms wrapped around me and cradled me into a chest. I did not want him to hold me, but I had no strength to protest. He took my hand, having learned that he could hear my thoughts this way. I would have hid them if I could.
He sighed in exasperation. "I will be better than him, you'll see. No one will ever love you the way that I'm going to."
My mind argued because my mouth could not. How could he have deluded himself so much? Why didn't he realize that he had imprinted on me, and that the feelings he had were not really anything to do with me at all?
"Imprinted......." he said slowly. Why didn't he know what it was? Hadn't any of his brothers explained it to him?
"I've never heard of it. Tell me what it is."
My mind ran over the details, more by sheer compulsion than by actual want. My heart ached again like I really was alive, but I shoved it away. I would rather feel dead than feel the life ahead of me.
"You are going to get over him. You'll love me in time. How could you not, when I am going to give you everything you could ever want?"
He must know nothing of my kind if he thought we got over things easily. Jacob was the only one I would ever love, even if I lived a million years never seeing him again. He was everything I could ever want.
Jerrick reached down and rubbed my stomach tenderly. "What would you like to eat?" he asked.
Nothing. I would never eat again, it was only dragging my life out farther.
"Don't say that. You have to eat something or else you'll hurt the baby," he said matter-of-factly. Huh? The baby??
"You didn't know? You're pregnant, Renesmee." I felt a slight flutter of life within my heart at his words. Could this be true? I had been eating a lot, and then I got sick this morning, and the dream from the other night.....
"How did he not smell it on you? Even I can sense that."
He had smelled it on me, he just didn't know how to identify it. Everyone had sensed it somehow..... that must be why everyone was acting so strange, why they all said I looked different, more radiant. Could it be why Anthony and Jacob had been so obsessive with me?
"Another boy? I thought your wolf would be my only competition. It does make sense, though. Pregnancy must do wonderful things for human vamp hybrids, make them alluring somehow."
I could not be pregnant, not right now. How could I have Jacob's baby when he could not be with me to do so? He wouldn't even get to know about it....
"I'll take care of it with you. We'll be a family."
NO!!!!! My family was gone. If the choice was between having this baby with him or not having it at all, I was not having it at all. I would never subject someone I loved to this Hell. I would have to kill it before he could turn it into a monster like himself.
"You will do no such thing. I will be the baby's father, and that's all there is to it. Unless you leave me....."
Unless I leave you, what?
"Then I will kill it myself," he answered coldly. This enraged me, bringing more life back to my head than I'd thought could ever be left. If he touched my baby, even looked at it the wrong way, he would be the one dying that day. I would never make a child with Jacob and let this man harm it in any way. It was a peice of him, and I had to hold on to any peice I could find.
"I'll order you some food," he said in the same cold tone. He placed me back on the bed as he called room service on the phone.
I ate all the shrimp he'd had delivered while he watched and smiled. When I was done I laid down on my back, trying to pull back more memories of my Jacob. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them, his face was above me. He scooped me up into his arms and sat back down with me on his lap.
He forced his lips to mine desperately, clutching me so tightly to him that there was no room to escape them. My body and face froze completely as I waited for it to be over. He rolled over slightly and laid me down on the bed beneath him, kissing me forcefully yet again.
He pulled back to look at my statueness and then mashed his lips to mine violently. My lack of response to his attempts seemed to anger him more and more with each passing second. He moaned against my mouth, more in frustration than in pleasure.
He climbed on top of my completely still body and his hands pulled at the small buttons to my shirt. They left the first five undone as they moved to grasp both of my shoulders. His lips tried hard to move mine, but to no avail. He finally gave up and started kissing my neck, all the way down to between my breasts.
I could easily tell what he intended to do to me, but I had no way to fight him. My body was just an empty shell, and it did not matter what was done to it. The only feeling it would care to recognize was Jacob's warmth, and it would never have that pleasure ever again. I did not want him to do this, but what I wanted was not going to matter.
I was extremely releived when he rolled off of me. It was the wrong reaction though - he was not through yet. He stood up and undid the rest of my top, pulling it off of me and throwing it to the floor. He yanked off my pants and underwear next, and I knew there was no hope now. I welcomed the numbness for this moment, begged for it even.
His hot mouth touched itself to my naked skin over and over, starting from my breasts and ending at my feet. He pealed his clothes off and climbed back on top of me, forcing more kisses from my dead lips. I tried first to pretend I was somewhere else, to not feel anything that was happening to me right now, but it had no affect.
His hands moved up and down the length of me, feeling every curve and crevice they could find. They paused on all the places I wanted him to touch the least, as was natural. As natural as rape could be, that is. I felt giant tears begin to roll down my face.
He abruptly took his hands off of me and jumped up. I wanted to be glad for this, but it could just be another false alarm, so I tried to not get my hopes up. Something soft was quickly thrown on top of me.
"Put those on, please" he said with his back turned towards me. He sounded embarassed in a way. I was just thankful that Jacob had still been the only man I had ever been with. I pulled the pajamas onto my body quickly and curled up into a ball. At least in this position, he would have to work to unpry me from myself before he could take advantage of me.
"I'm so sorry, that was out of line," he said quietly. He took a step back and sat down beside me on the bed. "You're just so.... perfect. But that is no excuse for my behavior. I was not prepared for quite how alluring you can be. Can I ever make it up to you?" he asked as he took my hand. The only thing he could give me was my home back, my life back, my love back.
"No. Not that," he said coldly. I ripped my hand away from his and wrapped it tightly around my knees. He lifted up my still form and laid me in his lap. He was like the exact opposite of Jacob - Jake wanted to give me everything that I wanted, and this man would give me none of it. He would only give me what he wanted. He could not possibly love me; he was a monster uncapable of love.
I accidentally fell asleep there in his arms, knowing that my life had ended on this day, and knowing that there was a new life growing inside of me.