Hello again, old friends, new friends, and homicidal squid-beings! Sorry that this chapter is a bit later than you might have expected…I swore to post one every week, but I'm afraid the week ended about an hour ago. Bugger, eh? Anyway, I like this chapter a bit. I bet it mucks about with your expectations for the rest of the story…but remember, this thing will only be ten chapters AT MOST. So, sorry if it seems like I've aborted a few plot arcs…I have a plan! Sort of. Well, just read this chapter. Then we'll see if you like where it's going. Speaking of which, you really ought to REVIEW. The feedback I've been getting so far has been lovely and ace, so keep it up! Especially for this chapter, I'd like to know if you are enthused about the direction this story is going or if you just think it's utter crap and want everything to go back to chapter three. So tell me, ja?
Dis of the claiming: If I owned Death Note…lessee, Mikami would be alive and fabulous, MNM would be threesoming bloody everywhere, and Misa and Takada would be having steamy lesbian sex. Really. :3
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The loud bang of a door being thrown open shot through the hallway. Mello, once more bedecked in grass stains and minor bruises, strode into his bedroom. It was just the way he preferred it—a disgraceful mess.
Carefully wiping his feet on one of the dirty shirts decorating the floor, he took a moment to draw in a deep breath. An exhaustive game of football had left him panting, and on top of that he had decided to run all the way to his bedroom for no particular reason.
The laptop was stirred to life as Mello took a casual seat in front of the low desk, legs crossed loosely on the floor. Tapping his fingers on the mouse, he spared a moment to look thoughtful.
Near's professed crush on Linda had been quite hilarious at first. The thought of Near actually suffering emotionally for a change was admittedly delightful, and Mello had spent a good half of the football game reflecting on this rather humorous turn of events.
However, he had suddenly been struck by how suspicious the whole damn thing was. Near, while rarely personable in any case, had always avoided Linda like the plague. Mello had never seen the younger boy even glance in Linda's direction, much less exhibit any signs of infatuation with her. Had his feelings suddenly changed, or was there something else afoot?
The first thing that came to mind was, of course, revenge. The little show with the underpants earlier had been cruel even by Mello's standards, and Near had obviously been humiliated. If there was anything that would cause Near to take action against someone, it would probably be embarrassment. The boy hated to show emotion, that much had always been evident, and he had probably been horrified at the accidental blush.
But how the hell could a crush on Linda even begin to injure Mello? He certainly didn't have any feelings for Linda, and didn't give a damn if Near spent all his time staring lustfully in her direction for the rest of time. Maybe Near had gotten the wrong impression from Mello's kiss; had he decided that Mello liked him?
No, that was impossible. Near had known exactly what Mello was doing, he had seen as much on the boy's face. This Linda affair couldn't be a ploy to make Mello jealous, then.
So…what was it? Was it possible that Near had finally noticed the existence of his peers? Honestly, Mello had never thought such a day would come. But if Near had fallen for Linda, that was just in poor taste. There was a wide array of orphans far more attractive than Linda to choose from.
Like Mello. Not that he would be at all flattered if he was indeed the object of Near's affections, but it would at least be good blackmail material. Besides, Mello was obviously more desirable than Linda. He was good-looking, a genius, pretty damn hilarious…if Near was going to fall for anyone, it should be him, not some drippy geek with a chest like a countertop.
Mello cursed his young rival, not for the first time. The little sheep couldn't even do him the tiny honor of acknowledging Mello's amazing sexiness…what a bastard. Standing up from the floor with a snarl, Mello threw himself onto the stripped bed. A cloud of dried crabgrass and flaky mud rose briefly around him, and he wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"MATT!" He knew that the shout would carry over to the bedroom next door, where his closest friend spent most of his time with his eyes glued to some damn game or another.
"What do you want?" came the muted reply, irritation evident in the other's voice. Mello smirked.
"C'MERE!"
If the walls had been slightly thinner, Mello would have heard a loud sigh from the other room.
"Okay, okay. Hold on a damn second!"
There was a creaking sound on the other side of the wall, likely Matt hoisting himself off of his own bed. A few scant moments later, Mello's door was shoved open.
"Alright, what did you want?" Matt asked with a bored scowl, thumbs busy as ever on the buttons of his DS. Wandering across the floor with an unerring memory for the various obstacles spread across the carpet, he flopped down on the bed next to Mello.
Mello prodded a denim-covered leg absently with his toe. "I need to clean my fucking room. There's dirt in my damn mattress."
"What does that have to do with me?" Matt muttered, looking briefly at the bed before returning avid eyes to his game. Mello scowled at him in return, flipping onto his side and staring accusingly at his friend.
"What, you don't care at all? You couldn't bother to tell me how damn gross it is in here?" he demanded, poking the uncaring ginger in the chest. Matt, without missing a single move, plucked the finger from his shirt and deposited it firmly onto Mello's bony hip.
"It's been gross in here since day one, mate," he responded, shifting away from any more poke-attacks. There was a sudden crinkling noise rather close to his ear, and they both started.
"What was that?" Mello asked, shoving Matt's head out of the way and fishing a crumpled piece of paper from beneath a shock of ginger hair. "It's a note from someone."
"Who?" Matt inquired innocently, immediately assuming his best poker face. Damn, he had hoped Mello would find the note by himself—Near would be pissed if Matt gave away the whole thing by acting as if he knew something.
"It doesn't say from who," Mello murmured, scanning the brief note in an instant. "It's…a secret admirer. What the hell is this all about?"
Matt snorted. "Here, let me see that." Plucking the sheet from Mello's girly hands, he reread his own handwriting.
"Oh look, Mel, they even complimented your hair. How sweet."
Mello frowned darkly at him, refusing to feel flattered. Stupid secret admirer.
"Well, they obviously think you're sexy. Wonder who it is?" Matt handed the note back to the blond, grinning slightly. Mello, however, simply examined the note again. "That's…strange," he murmured, eyebrows furrowing.
"What's strange?" Matt asked, hoping that Mello hadn't recognized anything that could give away the plan.
"This isn't in the handwriting of anyone here," Mello said, all feminine affectations gone as he focused his attention entirely upon the mysterious missive. "It's been deliberately disguised."
"Yeah, so what?" Matt said, keeping the nervous tension from his voice. "That's hardly surprising, they just don't want you to recognize them."
"But, whoever did this assumes that I would recognize their writing in the first place. Not many people know that I've memorized everyone's writing, so this narrows it down to someone who is close enough to me that I'd know their handwriting immediately."
Matt made a vaguely affirmative noise, unease growing by the second. He had forgotten just how clever Mello was when something grabbed his attention. Had Near miscalculated as well? If so, they were absolutely screwed.
"Now, that narrows it down to about five people, the ones who I spend the most time with. This person has to be able to disguise their handwriting, or know someone who can do it for them. They probably know where my room is, although they could have asked someone. They obviously think that if they told me who they actually were, I'd be upset…that makes the list even smaller."
Matt, by this point, had passed beyond far beyond unease and was dancing about in "scared shitless" territory. Mello was going to see through this in an instant…and it would almost definitely be Matt who took the blame for aiding Near.
Well, that was just great.
Mello, after a moment of brief silence, made a sort of 'hm!' sound. Matt's head swiveled around instantly. "What?"
Mello stared at him. "Matt…is it really Linda that Near likes?" he asked suspiciously, watching his friend carefully for any reaction. Matt, demonstrating admirable restraint, looked doom right in its cold blue eyes. And lied through his teeth.
"Yeah, it's Linda. He's pretty head-over-heels. Well, for Near anyway." Purposefully widening his eyes, he added, "What, you don't think he's the one who sent the note?"
Mello frowned. "He's one of two options. And since you two were working on something today, it makes the most sense."
"Mate, it's not Near. He's got a serious creeper-thing for Linda. Why the hell would he like you, anyway? You're a total bastard to the bloke. Not in a sexy way, either."
Mello sighed, crossing his arms and looking briefly angry. "Well, fine. Near likes goddamn Linda, then." He was silent for another moment. Matt, feeling relieved, stared at his pensive face.
To his horror, when Mello fixed his eyes on him again, they were still full of suspicion.
"You know, Matt…if it isn't Near, then it's gotta be only one other person." Then, the blond softened his gaze slightly. Matt blinked.
"Matt…" Mello muttered, an unreadable expression on his face.
"What?" Matt asked nervously.
"Do you…" Mello sighed, running a tense hand through long hair. "Do you like me?"
Matt choked. "No!" he said, horrified. "What the hell, Mello?"
"I told you, it's either Near or someone else! And that's you, Matt. I know you can forge your writing, we're obviously really close… and of course you wouldn't want to tell me it was you." He placed a hand on the other boy's shoulder, with an entirely uncharacteristic look of compassion on his face. "Seriously, Matt, did you write this?"
"NO!" Matt shouted, pulling away from Mello. "That's just creepy, mate!"
"But it has to be you or Near! And you said yourself, it isn't Near! Look, Matt, I can see why you'd be embarrassed…"
"Which I'm NOT, because I'm not in love with you!"
"…but, I mean, I don't care if you like me. Hell, lots of people do." He grinned, patting Matt's shoulder comfortingly.
"Look, Mello, I swear I don't like you! At all! I like ROGER more than I like you—"
Mello interrupted, leaning closer to the ginger. "You didn't need to be afraid," he murmured, eyes going dangerously sparkly. "I mean, I never really thought about you that way before but hell, we could date."
Matt stared at the blond, entirely lost for words. God, this was so not going according to the proper plan. Near was not going to be happy when Matt told him just what a disaster this was turning out to be.
"I…don't think we shou—"
"It's gonna be a bit weird, I guess, but you're not hideous and I've done worse." Mello beamed at him, totally ignoring all protests from the horrified Matt.
Mello stood up from the bed, bringing a still-protesting Matt with him. Staring at the indent left by the gamer's body, he laughed. "Look! You even brought me chocolate!"
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Near was sitting peacefully in the middle of his darkened room when a cacophony of agitated knocks sounded against his door. Nonexistent eyebrows creasing slightly, he opened his eyes. "Yes?"
The knocks ceased, and there came a sound of someone leaning against the wood of the door. "It's Matt. I need to talk to you."
Near slowly raised his body off the floor, shedding plastic action figures as he stood. Padding across to the door, he popped the lock in the knob and opened it slowly. Matt slumped inwards, looking like a shell of the boy he had been just that afternoon.
"Matt?" Near asked, a very slight concern tinting his voice. "Whatever has gone wrong?"
"Mello," came the muffled reply, as Matt draped himself across Near's rarely-used bed. "We underestimated him."
Near frowned. "Yes, I suppose that's possible," he said softly, perching on the edge of the bed at a safe distance from Matt's dejected form. "What precisely happened?"
Matt sighed into the white bedspread, turning his head so that one anguished goggle-eye peered at the boy. "Well, I was there when he found the note."
Near returned his gaze uncomprehendingly. "How is that a problem?"
"Here, I'll tell you the whole damn story," Matt muttered, still facedown upon the bed. "I was there when he found it, and he immediately started trying to figure out who it was from. He worked it out pretty quickly, too."
Matt felt the vibrations through the bedspread as Near suddenly tensed.
"He…knows that I am the one who put it there?" Near asked, his voice very quiet. To his relief, Matt shook his head.
"No. I mean, that's what he thought at first. But I fed him this utter crap about how much you loved Linda, and he believed me."
Near relaxed, staring curiously at Matt. "If that is so, why are you this miserable?"
Matt snorted into the bed, shoulders hunching in what seemed to be agony. "Well, apparently, if it wasn't you then it had to be me."
"What?" Near asked, not following at all. He stared at the ginger hair of the boy next to him, looking at his miserable form in confusion. What had gone wrong?
"Mello thinks that I'm the one who likes him now. It was either you or me, do you get it now?"
"Oh," Near said, feeling faintly sick. Then again. "Oh."
"No, wait, it gets worse," Matt said, chuckling weakly. "So after he decides that I'm his secret admirer—something I'd never even consider doing, by the way—he then tells me that he doesn't mind if I like him, and that we should date. Just bowls right over everything I say, all happy-like that he's got a new boyfriend."
"A new boyfriend?…" Near stared at what he could see of Matt in blank horror. "Does that mean that you and he are…"
"We're going to the pictures on Saturday," Matt mumbled, sounding for all the world as though he was talking of his own execution.
For a moment, all he heard was silence, and the sound of Near's quiet breathing. Then, to his utter surprise, he was being pushed off of the bed. Landing on the plushly carpeted white floor, he stared in amazement at the smaller boy.
Although it wouldn't have been obvious on any other teenager, Matt could see that Near was furious. It was actually sort of amazing to watch the pale boy's features contort as he struggled to hide his anger; Matt had never seen Near in such a mood.
He was brought out of his reflections when Near dropped down to land on his chest with a rib-crunching thump. This time, the collision was not accidental; that much was obvious by the look in Near's eyes.
Straddling Matt's narrow ribcage clumsily, Near grabbed twin fistfuls of the gamer's shirtfront and pulled Matt's stunned face to his eye level.
"How dare you agree to such a thing?" he whispered tightly, his face still betraying only the slightest emotion. "Have you sabotaged my efforts, Matt?"
Matt stared at the boy in amazement. "Why would I want to do that?" Near's eyes, only a tiny distance from his own, narrowed.
"It is only natural that you would betray me. What loyalty do you have to me? But I had hoped that you would at least have enough integrity to keep your word and not humiliate me…I suppose that was foolish."
"Near, I—" Matt leaned backwards a bit as Near's minty breath blew into his face, only to be jerked forwards again by small hands.
"Or, did you simply have designs upon him all along? Did you use me to accomplish what you couldn't do yourself?" While Near's voice was still kept at its regular, even pitch and tone, there was a certain menace in his quiet words. "Is that the only reason you agreed to this, Matt? To further your own cause?"
"No," Matt said, scowling at Near's ever-somber face. "I don't like Mello! At all! That's exactly why we're friends! The idea of ever dating him makes me want to bathe in boiling water, for god's sake!" Panting, he glared at Near, who had the grace to look slightly cowed.
"Matt, if you are being honest…" he began, loosening his grip minutely on Matt's collar. "…I suppose I may have overreacted. I apologize."
Matt coughed slightly, giving a pointed look to the small fingers entangled in his shirt. Near released him, an unfortunate consequence of which was Matt's head banging to the ground. From his perch on Matt's chest, Near stared uncomfortably at the ginger.
"So, you're satisfied that I'm not trying to ruin you?" Matt asked awkwardly, bringing up his hands in case of another shirtfront attack. Near nodded, twisting a finger once more into his hair. "Yes, Matt, I believe you. But now, we must think of a way out of this situation."
"I agree. Emphatically," Matt said, wincing at the memory of Mello's lecherous face. "But how are we going to get out of this one? I mean, Mello thinks I'm in love with him no matter what I say…you are in love with him, but I've managed to thoroughly convince him that you're not, and you still won't just confess to him. Are there any contingency plans, here?"
Near smiled a tiny, half-moon creeper smile. "Of course there are, Matt. If I wish to be the next L, I must be prepared for all eventualities. You should learn to do the same." Seeing Matt's uninterested expression, he changed tracks. "In this case, I think that we should simply continue with the secret admirer notes. This will persuade Mello that you are not, in fact, infatuated with him, and the plan will go on as scheduled."
"No, it won't," Matt interjected. "Remember, he narrowed it down to two options, you or me. If you keep up with the notes, he'll know it's you."
Near frowned. "You are correct. In that case, I will simply have to employ a tactic I sincerely hoped to avoid."
Matt raised an eyebrow, wondering just how hardcore any of Near's tactics could be. "And what's that? Are you going to place an ad in the paper?"
Near sighed, disgusted at what he perceived as fatal immaturity. "No, Matt. I will obviously have to seduce Mello away from you. It will solve both of our problems. I will have Mello, and you…won't have Mello."
Staring blankly, Matt allowed his mind to process the strange things that had just been said. "You…you're going to seduce Mello? Is there any possible way for you to do that, Near?"
The smaller boy just looked at him. Matt added, "You are definitely not the seductive type. Even if you did somehow manage to change your appearance, you're about as subtle as…" he thought for a moment. "…as something that is not at all subtle. He would know right away what you were doing, don't you think?"
Near nodded reluctantly. "It will require work, certainly, but I think that with practice I will be able to attract Mello. The benefit of it being Mello is that, as an emotional person, he will be easier to sway. If he was, for instance, like me, then he would simply ignore any advances. But with Mello, he cannot help but become involved when his worst enemy suddenly takes romantic interest in him. While he may see this as a victory at first, I can only say that there is a good chance he will develop an affection for me. After all, our rivalry is founded upon strong emotions, and I have been assured that hatred is often a mask for other, deeper feelings."
Matt snorted. "Well, you've obviously been eavesdropping on Linda…"
"She does know rather a lot about human emotion," Near replied primly, drawing a knee up and resting a delicate hand on the knobby bone of his kneecap.
Matt twitched. "Near…"
"Yes, Matt?" the big-eyed boy asked, staring at him with a serious gaze.
"Get off of my chest. Now."
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A/N: so yeah, that's it for today folks. It's amazing how NINE pages boil down to so little, eh? Blame my trigger-happy finger on the "enter" key, I guess. I hope you're still in love with my little fic, and if you're not, you should tell me. Really, I don't mind. OH! does anyone wanna be my beta? I won't pester you constantly, just when my self-esteem writerwise is low. Tell me if you're interested, mmkay? That would be sweet of you.
Chapter seven within a week, I promise! Really!