Author's Notes: Thanks once again to my wonderful, intelligent, charming, and beautiful reviewers, in order of review: Lord Pata, PrincessJaded (a.k.a Onee-sama. Or would you prefer Onee-chan?), Potgenie, Catching Rain, Lonewolfvampire13, emotionless-robot, Aster Selene, Light-of-Hope-07, and Aana the Mighty Deleter!

This will be a VERY violent chapter. In ways more than two.

Chapter 3: No Popcorn, but Pine-Sol

---Sometime during Nemo---

"Patamon!" admonished Kari. "What is that you're holding?"

"What, this?" asked Patamon. "It's a little something I found on the top shelf.

"There's a reason why it's on the top shelf."

"I know!" said Veemon. "So that we'd have to work to get some!"

"No," replied Kari. "It's because we're not supposed to have any."

"Don't be a stick-in-the-chocolate-syrup. We'll even share!"

"No."

"Eh, what's this?" asked Yolei. Kari groaned (again!)

Pretty soon, Patamon's discovery had been passed around the room, and everyone had a little – or a lot. It took some persuasion, but in the end, TK's coaxing managed to persuade Kari to see the light. (Some responsible boyfriend you are, Kari had said. TK just shrugged). And still it got passed around. And around. And around…

--30 minutes later---

"Alright! Next!" shouted the still-enthusiastic Davis.

"You just want to get onto the next movie, don't you?" asked Wormon.

"Nuh-uh!" Davis stuck his tongue out at Wormon.

"I saw you passed out on the floor halfway through the movie!" Gatomon accused. (A/N: Hey, Potgenie, you're not alone after all!)

"That's not true! Right, TK?" TK shrugged.

"If you didn't like the movie, just say so," he said.

"That's not true! I loved the movie…except the slower sections. Like, who wants to watch sharks reciting, 'fish are friends, not food?' Fish are food!"

"Anyway," Kari butt in. "What should we watch next?"

"Pirates!"

"Pirates?"

"Zoolander!"

"Pirates as in Pirates of the Caribbean! Third movie!"

"Hell no!"

"Talledega Nights!"

"What's that?"

"Pirates!"

"We said no!"

"But Will Ferrel is so cuuuuute!"

While the rest of digidestined and digimon (minus Kari; she already got her pick) argued like four-year-olds, Ken – being the smart one – covertly snuck over and slid a pirated Texas Chainsaw Massacre into the player. Sitting back, he let the movie do its work.

---45 minutes later---

"C-C-Cody," stuttered Upamon as he snuggled closer to his partner, "c-c-can you p-p-pass the p-p-p-popcorn?"

"You ate it all, remember?" said Cody. For some odd reason, he was the only one not affected by the gruesome movie, besides Ken himself. Kari and Yolei clung to their respective significant others (and to each other), the digimon were huddled either between themselves or with their partners; even Veemon and Davis were clinging to each other in fright (Veemon looking especially pale).

"H-h-here's s-something," muttered Patamon, passing 'Patamon's discovery' over.

"T-T-T-T-Thanks," said Upamon, digging in.

Cody scoffed, "You guys face down the Emperor, Spire-born digimon, Daemon, and MaloMyotismon but you can't sit and watch a measly horror movie? Tsk tsk…

"Ch-change it!" wailed Yolei. "I'm scarrrrreed!"

"But Yolei," protested Ken, "But we're just getting to the good part! Leatherface is coming, AND he's got this massive six-foot chainsaw!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" wailed everyone else. "TURN IT OFF!"

"Cody, can you do it?" Ken asked, "I'm kind of pinned down here."

"So am I," responded Cody, busy detaching Upamon from his shirt.

"But Upamon is lighter."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!?"

"Uh…no…but…"

"BUT!?"

"Well, Upamon IS a tiny little ball, while you're a mostly-grown human."

"TINY LITTLE BALL! THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GETTING IT!"

While Ken fended off his enraged girlfriend and a maddened in-training digimon (Wormon decided not to help, since his soda looked so much more enticing), Cody calmly went over and pressed the eject button. He reached for the next movie on the pile – the Ring (go figure, another horror movie) – when TK came up.

"At least that got Upamon off you," he remarked.

"It did, didn't it?" replied Cody. "At least Upamon and Yolei won't be able to pick the next movie."

"But I can," said TK and Gatomon at the same time. They looked at each other.

"I said it first," said TK firmly.

"Don't make me Lightning Paw your hat," retorted Gatomon.

"You wouldn't dare. Kari would…Kari?"

Kari sat back, happily munching on a large box of raisins (the only thing Upamon hadn't been through yet). "Hm? Oh! Go right on ahead!" she said.

"LIGHTNING PAW!"

TK scrunched his eyes closed and swung his hand. A deafening slap echoed throughout the room. Gatomon's face registered both shock and a large pink imprint on her cheek. Everyone stared, afraid of what would happen. Then Gatomon started chuckling. Then giggling. Then she fell on the floor, laughing and kicking her legs in the air.

"I say," said Hawkmon. "It would appear that our feline friend has lost the ability to process emotions properly."

"Wha-?" asked TK.

"It means she went crazy," said Patamon.

"Oh."

"Might I suggest Kung Fu Hustle while we are waiting for her to regain her senses?" asked Hawkmon.

"HELL YA!" shouted Yolei doing an impromptu karate chop – and hitting Ken's face in the process. "Oh, I'm soooo sorry! I'll get a tissue – or a box of tissues – um, wait here!"

"Oh dear," said Hawkmon.

---90 minutes later---

Gatomon giggled.

Kari started as well. Followed by Yolei. Then Ken, who looked rather gruesome with dried blood on his nose and cheeks.

Davis then joined the fun, followed closely by Patamon and Upamon.

Wormon was rolling on Cody's stomach; said boy was on the floor with a smile on his face. Several meters away, Veemon was walking around somewhat dazed.

TK was trying to coax Veemon into doing the axe-gang dance.

Hawkmon groaned at the sight. And without warning, burst into laughter as well.

---7 minutes later---

"Now what?" asked Patamon.

"I see loooooooooooooooooooooooopy!" shouted Yolei

"That makes no senssssssssssse!" said Veemon.

"How 'bout this?" asked Davis. "Looks like a nice bottle of Jack Daniels."

Through the rainbow-coloured fogginess clouding her vision and judgement, Kari vaguely realized that Jack Daniels doesn't exist in the Kamiya apartment (not because the Kamiyas didn't drink; Tai 'borrowed' it to a drunken party a couple months back. It didn't go very well for him either, Kari remembered, smiling at the memory). It belatedly registered in her mind that Tai was cleaning the living room this afternoon as part of his punishment and neglected to replace the bottle Pine-Sol. And for some reason, Kari had the distinct feeling that Davis was holding the very same bottle of Pine-Sol, and was happily tilting it back.

Kari blinked; trying to process her thoughts pass the sugarcoated haze. She had a bad feeling, but couldn't figure out why. Maybe something to do with Davis trying to drink that bottle of Pine-Sol. Wait. What? Davis. Pine-Sol. Drinking. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Kari leapt - knocking several pieces of furniture over, clipping Hawkmon's wing with a foot, sending Yolei's glasses flying – and landed on top of Davis, pushing the Pine-Sol away from him. For a moment, no one moved. The Pine-Sol formed a wet pool in the Kamiyas carpet. Then Gatomon took a step back, and the silence of the moment broke with the shattering of Yolei's glasses.

Davis giggled.

Author's Notes: The chapter's a bit weak, I think. But it's up! Tell me what you think.

I was going to make slaphappy being literal, but then I might have had to up the rating to at least T, if not M. I don't think my pure and unblemished mind (not really) can process such dirty thoughts either. =D

Any thoughts on the contents of 'Patamon's Discovery'?