We do not own Twilight
Chapter 9
"Stacy and Clinton! Why did you slap Jake so hard?! Two times??" Bella screamed at the fashion duo.
"We had to save the shirt, Bella. We're sorry but this fantastic chafy material is very expensive and we could no longer stand to see Edward bleed his vampire blood on it any longer."
"This is true, Bella." Says Stacy. "How could this beast in a hair net destroy such art!? Edward, why would you even take off your protective leather shirt in the first place?" She asked.
"It was part of my plan. I knew Mike would do something like this and it worked out perfectly" he responds.
What plan could he be talking about? Was all of this just a ploy for a bigger mission? What was it?!
"Mike, you are no longer needed" says Edward "Oh, here you dropped this by the way. What is it?" Edward asked as he held out a video tape.
"Well ever since I saw the What Not to Wear episode I've been hooked on the show ever since so I like to set the recorder on the tv in the mess hall. I can't help it.." says Mike.
Stacy and Clinton nod approvingly at each other then ran out the door in their stilletos to help the next pathetic fashion victim! Just like beautiful useless super heroes.
"WAIT! Nothing has been answered!" Bella yells at Edward. "Seriously Edward, wtf are you talking about? Why were you so desperate to get me to go after your goodies??"
Did Edward want to be with someone completely different the whole time? Did he want to roller dance in his disco room alone? Just then Esme!
Esme comes in sporting her own fro and guard's uniform. Now WHAT?!