Loss of Faith
Chapter 8: Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.
That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….
Faith's POV –
I drag my sorry ass back to Angel's old place, my place now I guess since B put my name on the deed. I forgot to ask Xand about a key for the door, but I'm pretty sure I can find a way in. I'll worry about a key tomorrow. Sure enough the door is locked but there's a balcony off the bedroom that I can jump up to reach. The French doors are locked with a flimsy little latch and I jimmy it open easily. I'll hafta get better locks on the doors since I'm gonna stay here. I wander through the bedroom and head downstairs to look around.
When I get downstairs I see that the place hasn't changed much since the last time I was here. There's some more furniture than I remember and it's all covered with sheets, but it's still kinda empty. What's the word? Spartan. Yea, that's it. Al the open space makes the place look even bigger than it really is. That's okay though. I like the openness. I've lived in too many small, cramped places to want to clutter up all the space around me. I go over to the phone and see that there's a message on the answering machine. It's gotta be from Xander, cause no one else knows I'm here yet. I reach out and push play, then listen as his voice echoes through the room.
"Hey Faith, you're probably still out working off the tension, but I wanted to let you know I swung by and dropped off some food for you. It's in the kitchen, hope you don't mind drive through burgers, though there are a half dozen of them. That should hold you for an hour or two, right?"
Ha, ha, very funny Xand. Why's everybody gotta comment on how much I eat? It's not like I'm fat or anything. I just got me a healthy appetite. Plus with the slayer metabolism thing, I gotta keep the machine well stoked, ya know? I just might hafta remind him why I can eat so much and still stay in shape. Maybe I'll bench-press him a coupla dozen times tomorrow, that'll make him think twice about makin smart assed comments. That thought brings a grin to my face as I continue to listen to his voice.
"Anyway," he continues, "I left the key to the front door on the counter by the fridge. Hope you didn't do too much damage getting in. I know you can afford it now, but who wants to have to replace a door if you don't need to, right? By the way, if you do need anything fixed, I know a handyman that would be more than happy to make the repairs for you. He does good work and works cheap. He also has the inside scoop on slayers and demons so you don't have to worry about the whole secret identity thing. Hint, hint, hint. In case you're slow tonight, I'm talking about myself. I do carpentry and repairs. Seriously. I know you're standing there laughing, but I really do good work. Well, we can talk more tomorrow. Hope you have a decent night. I'll talk to you later, bye."
Xander the carpenter, huh? Why do I keep getting an image of a Three Stooge's sketch runnin through my head? Xander as Moe hittin Curly on the head with a hammer while he's goin 'Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck'. I just gotta laugh out loud at that image, man. I delete the message and make a mental note to tell Xand about the Three Stooge's thing when I talk to him. Goin into the kitchen I go straight for the fridge with my stomach growlin. Like the man said, my appetite is legendary with the Scoob's. There they are, as advertised, six double cheese burgers with the works. I grab three of them and toss them in the microwave. Usually nukin stuff is reserved for popcorn, but I gotta make an exception tonight. Cold burgers just won't quiet the beast. While the timers countin down, I grab a drink from the fridge. A beer woulda been great but all that's in there is some ice tea and soda's. I'm gonna hafta fix that tomorrow.
After I eat I do a quick walk around the place makin sure everything's locked up, then go upstairs to grab a shower and get some sleep. The master bedroom has a wicked ass bathroom attached. It's gotta huge tub big enough for four people and a standing shower that would fit three more. I turn the water on and soon the room is filled with clouds of steam. Shuckin my clothes I step into the hot water spray and let the tension of the day start to drain away. While I'm standin there soapin up I go over what I know so far.
Buffy is alive. I know it now. I felt her at the cemetery. Whether she was there by coincidence or cause she knew I was back is still anyone's guess. The important thing is that she's still among the living, or un-dead as the case may be. Whatever, she's still around. That means I can find her and talk to her. Maybe find a way to make it up to her for what I did. I still don't know how I'm gonna explain it, but I at least have to try. I owe her that much and more.
Next thing I know is that this Shannon chick needs to be straightened out on the real story behind the Council. That's gonna be almost as hard as talkin to B. Usually once people have their minds made up, it takes something pretty drastic to change it. No matter how much evidence you can put in front of them, they'll just go blindly on with their beliefs. I'm gonna hafta do some major persuading to get her to even give me a chance. Otherwise I might end up drugged up and carted off to jolly old England for 'reconditioning' before you can say 'welcome to the Mother Land'. I know I could take the mini slayer in a fight but if she gets the drop on me with a tranq gun or something I'll be in deep shit.
I also gotta do something about Joyce. There's no way I can be in town and not go by to see her. If she's hot and heavy with Giles like Xander said, it's not gonna be a picnic but I'll play nice if he does. Joyce doesn't need to get into the middle of our pissing match and I did kinda promise Xand to try and let that shit go. When I see him tomorrow I'll hafta see if he can maybe get Joyce to meet me somewhere to talk. I'll put off dealin with Giles as long as I can.
Finishin up my shower I grab a towel off the rack and dry off while walking back into the bedroom. I'm pretty well wiped out from the stress of the day and can't wait to grab some sleep. I grab a tee shirt and some loose shorts from my pack and slide them on for bed.. Speakin of bed, this one's a huge four poster complete with canopy. I jump into the middle of it and as I sink down into the mattress, I'm surrounded by the smell of vanilla and honey. Oh shit! I'd know that smell anywhere. It's the smell of Buffy. It must be left from when she was here last. Breathing in that sweet aroma I start thinking of B again. She's alive. I know she's alive and she knows I know she's alive. I can't stop the grin from comin to my lips and I really don't want to. Maybe this time I can get it right. I grab the pillow and rub my face into it takin deep breaths. My eyes slip closed and I drift off thinkin of my girl.
I'm walkin towards the pier and I can see a lone figure standing in the newly risen sun. Her hair blowin in the wind out behind her. I think to myself 'great I get to relive the nightmare again' and since I don't have a choice I play my part. I walk up behind her and slip my arms around her as she leans back into me.
"I wasn't sure you'd come," she says.
"I'll always come for you," I say teasing her. She laughs and turns in my arms. I look into those emerald green eyes and am lost all over again. This time I'm gonna change the dream. This time I'm not gonna follow the rules. I reach down and lift her hands in mine. I pull them up to my lips and kiss each finger while playin with the ring on her hand. Then I let her hands slip through mine to fall on my chest.
"You're not going to take it back this time?" she asks.
"Never again B," I say. "I wish I never took it that day and I'll never try to take it from ya again. I swear."
She smiles up at me and I start to realize that this dream is different. It's more than the regular nightmare of when I tried to kill Buffy. I can feel her in my arms. I can smell her vanilla honey scent and I know it's more than just what's lingering on the pillows in my bed. I can see the love that still shines in her eyes. That's when it hits me that this is gonna be a different dream than the one I'm used to havin. I think maybe it's our connection, allowing me to be with her. Allowing me a chance to tell her how sorry I am for what happened and I'm not gonna waste this chance.
"Buffy…..," I say to her, "B, I gotta try and tell ya how much it hurt me to do that to ya. Ya gotta know I didn't think I had a choice. You were changin, getting cruel, doin things you never woulda done if it weren't for the demon inside you." Now I'm pleadin with her, "And I swear, if I had known that the Scoob's were trying to re-ensoul ya, I never, ever woulda taken the gem from you."
I stand there holdin her for a moment, starin into her eyes and hopin with all that is in me that she understands. That she'll forgive me for what I did. I'm not even breathin as I wait for her to say something, anything to let me know it's gonna be alright.
She's lookin at me with the most tender smile I ever saw and noddin her head along with my words. Then she says to me, "Faith, I know you did what you thought you had to do." She slides her hands up from my chest to cup both sides of my face and I let out the breath I was holdin in a rush. Then she continues, "And now I have to do what I think I have to do."
Her hands turn to claws and I can feel my skin tear as she rips my throat from my neck.