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Chapter 4 (EPOV)

Bella

"This is the place, it will be perfect. There will be a storm on Friday, so get started planning boys." Alice said.

The clearing Alice saw in her vision for the baseball game Emmett and Jasper were planning was perfect of course, why Alice insisted we all come out here and see it a head of time was unnecessary. Alice was always right about her visions, but she insisted, and when it comes to Alice you just do what she wants, it's just easier that way.

"Great job, my darling". Jasper said to Alice.

His thoughts were of the love that they shared and how he couldn't imagine his life without her. How happy they both were made my bad mood even worse and I forced back a growl.

"Sorry man, anything I can do?" Jasper said through his thoughts with apology in his eyes, as he sent me a wave a calm.

I just turned my head slightly from left to right, no one would have noticed except Jasper. I was ready to go back, being out here was a waste of time. I had better things to do. Who am I kidding I had nothing better to do, I promised myself that I would do everything I could to be "the old me" again, at least for Esme and Carlisle, but I wasn't doing a good job, I couldn't be the "old me" with out her.

"Okay, let's head back." Alice said, as she grabbed Jaspers hand and sprang forward into a graceful run.

"Come on Edward, race you back." Emmett said in his thoughts. Everything was a challenge to Emmett, and he really believed that one of these days he would actually win a race against me.

Rose rolled her eyes and thought some of some petty remark about my mood, after calling me an idiot and then ran to catch up to Alice and Jasper.

"On your mark, get set, GO." Emmett said and we were off.

We passed the others in just seconds and I was way ahead a Emmett. I could hear him cursing my speed in his mind behind me, and saying that one of these days he would win. I almost laughed, almost.

I slowed and let the rest of them catch up to me. Alice was talking about a shopping trip she wanted to go on, and Rose was thinking of Emmett. I always hated hearing Rose's thoughts, they were usually shallow and uninteresting, but today more than ever I wanted not to hear her.

She was thinking of how handsome Emmett was and how much their love had grown over the years. She wanted them to have a love like Carlisle and Esme one day, the kind of love that so many search for but so few ever find.

Listening to the thoughts of the others made my life that much harder, not a second went by that I didn't think of Bella and I longed to look into her eyes. I was forever changed by Bella and despite my best efforts I couldn't help but want to run back to Fork's and break every promise I had made to her. I wanted her back, I need her back. I was not whole without her, she was my life, my everything, I loved her in ways I never knew one person could love.

I loved her so much I left her, I wanted her safe, to have a future, and a soul. A future with me would only be a soulless and a dangerous one, Bella deserved more, and deserved better than me.

"I've put so much strain on this family, I should go away, leave for a while. I don't know where I would go this time, but my absents and that of my fowl moods could only help the family, I shouldn't bring them down with me.' I thought to myself.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Jasper yelled in his thoughts, I immediately snapped out of my dazed state and read him further.

I felt sadness and fear coming from Esme through Jasper. I listened out toward the cabin, and it was silent except for Esme.

"You can't leave, you have to stay promise you'll stay!" Esme was crying out. Her thoughts were that of the words she spoke and she spoke in a tone I have never heard from her before.

We were inside the cabin within half a second.

I couldn't believe what I saw. It couldn't be, I had lost it, I had finally gone over the deep end. None of this could be real, could it? I couldn't speak, and I was no longer listening to the thoughts of those around me, I was so focused on the women holding Esme that the cabin could have caught fire and I wouldn't have known.

"It's okay Esme, everything will be okay!" the women said. Her voice was full of worry and concern, she gave Esme her full attention.

The voice was so familiar, but not Bella's. The women resembled Bella, but from where I was standing I couldn't get a good look at her. I could have looked at her through Carlisle or Esme but I was to shocked to make my mind work, I felt like none of my senses were working. I just stood there and starred.

"Promise me Bella, promise me". Esme said.

I just about fell down, I think my knees gave out, but then Esme looked at her. I focused every bit of energy I could into seeing through Esme's mind, seeing this women that Esme believed to be Bella.

It was her, my Bella. Although she was a vampire now, she was still Bella. The beauty that Bella possessed now, knocked the air out of me. Bella had always been beautiful, there was never any doubt in that, but now there were no words to do justice to the beauty of the women holding Esme.

As vampires we are beautiful to our prey, in every way we draw them in, but Bella as an immortal, her beauty put us all to shame. I have never seen anything to match her. I was stunned, dazzled like she used to say and I wasn't even looking at her myself.

"I promise Esme, please don't think that I wouldn't want you guys back in my life, I love you as well, you will not lose me, that I promise." Bella said.

Did she mean it, could it be possible that after everything that had happened between Bella and I in Fork's that she would come back to my family. No matter what she meant or why she told that to Esme, I would not lose her again. I had been give a second chance to do things right by Bella, and I would make it my dying act to ensure that Bella knew I was sorry and that I loved her with every fiber of my being.

"Carlisle I would never do anything to cause a problem with in your family, when you asked me to come here, had I any idea that my presents could cause so much trouble I would have regretfully declined your invitation." Bella told him apologetically.

So Carlisle is the one I have to thank for giving me my life back, because of him Bella is here. I would have to buy him a house or two so he knew just how grateful I was and what trouble could Bella be referring to. She has never been trouble, although trouble and danger followed her around on a nearly consistent basis in Forks, no one could blame her for it. No one did.

Suddenly Bella stiffened, what could be concerning her so?

"No Esme, I'm fine, it is just that your proximity to me, along with Carlisle is making Jasper very uncomfortable. It is probably a good idea to put some distance between us, I assure you I will not be offended." Bella said.

She was very calm, and I felt like I had missed something, where did all that come from? I was confused, so much of my energy was focused on Bella that I had not even heard my family talking amongst themselves. After a few glances between Esme, Carlisle and Jasper, Carlisle spoke.

"She is right Esme, we should do our best to make this as easy as we can for everyone". With that Carlisle and Esme came to join the rest of us. Bella took a deep breath and slowly turned around.

This would be it, the first time I saw Bella's face with my own eyes in four years. I took a deep breath too, and just stood there in awe. Had their ever been a creature who's beauty was that breathtaking. She was perfect in every way imaginable, it would take an army of newborns to part me from her now, and I wasn't sure even that would be enough.

She looked directly at Jasper, she looked frustrated and worried. Then she spoke.

"Jasper, I'm sorry that my presents here is making you uncomfortable. If there is anything I can do to put you at ease, please let me know." Bella said, all emotion had left her face, was she afraid of Jasper? If so, it would only make sense, he had not left her with the best impression of himself on her birthday four years ago.

"Why don't we all take a moment and go to the table in the dinning room, I'm sure everyone has a lot of questions for Bella, I know I do." Carlisle broke the acquired silence in the room with his calm words.

How I envied Carlisle's control, not just over his bloodlust, but his emotions, his thoughts, everything. He was so wise and so patient. I should have said something to Bella already, gone to her and dropped to my knees and begged her to give me another chance, but I just stood their like and idiot, as Rose would say and starred at her.

"Shopping Alice, I haven't been here 10 minutes. You haven't changed a bit, and compared to you, Rose and Esme, I am still very plain." Bella said.

I did it again, I was so out of it that I completely missed what Alice had said. If I didn't get a hold of myself Emmett was going to have to slap me or something, and I really didn't want that, I may be able to out run Emmett, but when it comes to strength Emmett is scary.

"Alice, I'm sure you know better than I that Jasper isn't comfortable around me yet, you should probably go into the dinning room with the others." Bella told Alice with a smile on her lips.

Okay thats it, I have to focus. Maybe if I stop looking at her that will help, I could talk to her then, move at least. Looking at Bella hypnotized me, mesmerized me maybe, I need to think or I'm gonna snap.

"Oh Jazz, Bella is not going to hurt anyone, she is very controlled. Now come on, I don't want you giving her a hard time. I promise everything is going to be fine." Alice said and then she grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her to the dinning room.

I keep my eyes on Bella until we entered the dinning room and I had to take my seat. I was sitting next to Alice, starring at the table top, my mind was still blank. I felt her walk in and take the only remaining seat left at the table, I wanted to look at her, look into her eyes but I was just getting my bearings back and if I wanted to be able to at least say "Hi" to her I need to focus.

"I don't mind Jasper, if that will make you feel better. I wont be offended." Bella had said, and then Jasper placed both of his hands on her shoulders to restrain her. Apparently I was wrong in thinking that Bella feared Jasper, Jasper feared Bella and if I were Jasper I would be afraid, he had it coming.

"Can she really read my mind like Edward can? Hummm.... Let's see." Jasper had said this and in his thoughts.

My head snapped straight up, could she, had I missed this somehow in the brief time she had been her? My god, was I so wrapped up in her that I would have missed something this huge?

"Thank you for understanding Bella, I do not wish to upset you." Jasper said this in his thoughts as a means of verifying his theory, and mine now as well.

"You're very welcome Jasper, You have not upset me in the least, you would know!" she said this almost immediately, my god she could read the thoughts of others just as I could.

"Great another Edward!" Emmett said, with one of his "can you believe this shit" kind of grin. But I gotta give it to Emmett he made her smile, and Bella smiling was something I have wanted to see for a long time.

"Well, Bella are you up for a few questions?" Alice asked out loud.

"Because they all have a lot of them, especially Edward." Alice spoke this time just in her thoughts to Bella, a warning of sorts.

Alice was right, I had a lot of questions. Every questions I have wanted to ask Bella over the last four years flooded my mind, along with many new questions, thanks to her appearance here and the changes that have been made to her life.

"Sure, what would you like to know?" she said looking nervous, but trying to hide it apparently.

Jasper sent her a wave or calm and reassurance, and she looked like she was ready. With that everyone including myself started thinking of all the things they wanted to ask Bella, all of them trying to figure out what to ask first.

Bella grabbed the bridge of her nose, I couldn't tell if she was in pain maybe or trying to concentrate, either way I focused on her and tried to build enough confidence to take her hand and give her my support. But before I could move my hand, I heard something I had never heard before.

"God Edward, how do you do it, their thoughts it's to much. I can't tell who is thinking what!" Bella said that I was sure, but it was her thoughts. I heard Bellas thoughts, for a moment I saw into her mind.

I can't even image the thousand upon thousands of times I have wished to her what she was thinking, just to have a glimpse into her mind for just a fraction of a second. And so it is that the first thought, the first glimpse into Bella's mind that I get is of her thinking of me.

"I HEARD YOU!" was all I could say.

Her head shot straight up and she looked at me with those beautiful eyes. Again I was mesmerized by her, the thoughts of the rest of my family stopped, as well as my own. I could fell them looking back and forth between Bella and myself, but I couldn't look away. I would spend the rest of eternity in this moment if I could.

Everything would change now, I would prove myself to her, I would love her like no one else has been loved before.....

**** Well there is Chapter 3 from EPOV, I hope everyone enjoyed it and I did justice to Edward's first time seeing bella again. Let me know what you guys think, and I love the reviews. Thanks guys, see ya next chapter:)****