Loss of Faith

Chapter 9: Making it Right

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

I wake up screaming in a strange bed. Nothin new there. That's how I been wakin up for the last two months. The sheets and covers are wrapped so tight around me I feel like I'm tied down and not in the 'wantin to try something different' way. While tryin to jump up and get away from the images that are still in my mind, I end up falling on the floor, smackin my head on the side of the bed. The pain brings me outta the nightmare and I try to pull myself together. I rip the sheets in half pullin them away from me and drag my knees to my chest while the tears are still runnin down my cheeks. Christ, that was the worst one yet. I've been havin bad dreams since that day, but usually it's just re-livin those final moments on the pier with B. This time it changed. I don't know if it's me knowing she's still alive and thinkin she's gonna want revenge or just my guilt at havin tried to kill her comin out in a different way. Whatever, I sure as hell don't wanna take that ride again.

After a few minutes my heart begins to slow down and the panic is slowly fadin. I look around the room and remember where I am. My new home. The one B gave to me. There's sunlight comin across the balcony and through the French doors. It's warmin up the room and as it does I relax a little and let the tension seep outta my muscles. As I think back over the dream, hell nightmare's more like it, I try and figure out if it was a slayer dream or not. It doesn't feel like it now that I'm thinkin about it. I mean, yea, it felt more real than a regular dream at the time, but there's no sense of prophecy or warning. Also, it was about something that already happened. Even if it was a twisted version.

Alright, enough of this shit. I get myself up and head in to get cleaned up. I got enough to do today without sweatin over a nightmare. When I'm done getting dressed I'll give Xand a call and see if he wants to go get some breakfast. Wakin up screamin like a maniac seems to of given me an appetite. I'm thinkin a huge omlette, sides of bacon, sausage and cheese home fries, then chase it all with about a gallon of coffee. I'll even treat Xand, so long as he doesn't make any more Faith and food jokes.

Downstairs I grab the phone and dial up my new partner in crime. He answers on the second ring, I wonder if he was expectin me.

"Hello, Double H here, Harris the Handyman," he says.

Oh Christ that's priceless. I start laughin and can't stop. I manage to spit out, "Xand….Xand…. That's, that's…….." and then I'm off laughin again.

He says, "Well, I'd know that voice anywhere, though I'm not used to hearing it giggling like a school girl. What's the joke Faith?"

I'm tryin to pull myself together but the relief of laughing comin so soon after the nightmare is almost too much. Xand starts talkin again, "Faith, why don't you call the zoo and ask for the hyena pit? You seem to be speaking their language. Call me back when you revert to English, okay?"

I can hear him startin to hang up so I stop him, "No, Xander, don't, wait….I'm good, I got it under control. Don't hang up."

"Oookaaayy," he says. "But if you don't let me in on the joke soon I'm going to get a complex."

I got myself together now so I tell him, "It's just the way you answered the phone, dude. Harris the Handyman. The Double H's. Ya know, Hungry and Horny? I know it's a slayer thing, but it just struck me funny is all."

"Well given your weird sense of humor, I guess I can see you making that connection," he says. "I just have to keep reminding myself that you're a slayer and not responsible for the way your mind works." I can hear the teasin tone of his voice and once again I am so glad to have him in this with me. "So other then calling me to make fun of my phone persona, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call? Speaking of which, what are you doing up already, I seem to remember you liked to stay asleep until mid afternoon?"

Rememberin what woke me up chases the last of the laughter from me and I tell him, "Bad dream woke me up kinda early and I thought maybe you'd like to get some breakfast. I'm buying, you in?"

"Though I don't usually like being laughed at first thing in the morning," he says to me, "I will make an exception in your case. Breakfast sounds good. How about I pick you up in fifteen minutes?"

"Sounds like a plan, Xan," I say with a grin.

"Oh great, now you think you're a poet," he teases back. "I'll see you soon." Then he hangs up.

While I'm waitin for him I try and come up with as many situations as I can where I'll be able to call him Handy Harris today. This is gonna be fun.

Xander picked me up and we drove downtown to a diner for some food. Sittin in the booth we started to talk after our order was taken. Xander still had a big grin on his face from the looks I got from the waitress when I told her what I wanted. He started to make a comment, but one look at the glare I was givin him made him choke on his words. Yea, he definitely is smarter than most people give him credit for.

"So Faith," he starts off all diplomatic like, "After you get done eating enough for a small third world nation, what's next on the agenda?" I shoulda known he couldn't resist for long. Maybe he's not that smart after all.

"Well," I answer him, "after I take ya to the hospital and get your jaw wired shut, I'm thinkin a trip to the bank is in order." He let out a chuckle at the hospital comment then turned more serious.

"The bank, huh? That's a pretty good idea. You can find out exactly how everything's set up then and there," he said.

I'm not used to people agreein with my ideas, so I figure I'll lay out my plans for him and see what he says. "I figure we'll hit the bank, grab some cash till I can get an ATM card. Then I gotta pick up some wheels and a cell phone."

"When'd you get a driver's license?" he asks.

"I don't strictly have a license," I tell him. "That's one of the reasons I need you to come with me to get transportation. There's a bike shop at the edge of town that used to have a pretty wicked used Beemer for sale. If it's still there, I'll give ya the money and you can buy it for me."

"Why don't you just go and get your license?" he says.

"Come on Xand, I'm gonna get it eventually," I tell him. "I just need some wheels now so I can get around, ya know?"

He looks at me kinda hard than says, "Tell you what Faith, when we're done here we'll go past the DMV and you can see about getting your license. Then we'll go get your bike, alright? I don't want to have to bail you out of another jail already. We just got you back."

"I didn't ask ya to bail me outta the last one if ya remember," I said and yea, I'm getting a little pissed. "That was totally your idea. I woulda gotten out on my own. I've done it before."

He lets out a sigh and says, "Faith, I'm not trying to fight with you here. I'm just saying you should try and work inside the rules a little this time around, okay? And yea, it was my idea to bail you out and bring you back. But knowing what you know now, are you saying you wouldn't have come back on your own? I don't think so."

He has a point. As soon as I found out there was a chance B was still around, nothing woulda kept me away. Still, I'm gonna hafta stop letting him get away with talkin to me like that. I tell him, "Okay, Jiminy Cricket. We'll do it your way. This time."

Our food came by this time and we're diggin in when I hear the bell over the door ring and Xander looks up with a grin startin to form on his face. Givin a casual glance over my shoulder I almost choke when I see who walked in. She was lookin over and started to smile at Xander when I turned to her and she froze.

"Faith," she says in almost a whisper. She's standin there starin at me and I dunno if she's gonna start yellin or just turn around and walk out. Her face is totally blank so I can't tell what's goin on in her head.

I stand up to face her and feel a knot tighten in my gut as I walk to her. In a quiet voice I say, "Hiya Joyce".

Next thing I know I'm swallowed in a bear hug that woulda crushed my ribs if not for the whole bein a slayer thing. She's kissin my cheek and tryin to talk all at the same time.

"When did you get back? Where are you staying? Where have you been? God, look at you, you're nothing but skin and bones. Haven't you been eating? Oh, it's so good to see you again." Joyce is rambblin away at a mile a minute. She woulda put Red to shame and I'm lovin it. I could see how much she really missed me and it made me happy, but also sad at the same time. I'm happy that there is someone who still cares for me and sad that I hurt her by leaving without being able to tell her the real reason why.

"I just got back," I say. I'm kinda lookin at the ground, the walls, pretty much anywhere but at her. I was so not ready for this.

Xander jumps to my rescue. Hah, my hero. He gets up and says, "Hi Joyce. Why don't you sit down with us? Faith was just saying how she wanted to stop by and see you today only we weren't sure if you'd be home or not."

Joyce is movin over to the table and I shoot Xand a look to say 'what now?' He just shrugs back while Joyce's is turned away and we all sit down.

The waitress comes back over and asks, "Joyce, what can I get you today?"

Joyce answers, "Just the usual, Mary, coffee and a bagel to go please. I have to get right back to the gallery, thank you."

While Mary, the waitress, walks off to get her order, Joyce turns back to Xander and says, "You, young man, are in deep trouble."

"Me? What did I do?" Xander asks with a slightly guilty look.

"You didn't call me and tell me the moment you knew Faith was back," she says looking at me with a big smile. "And for that I may never forgive you."

I knew Joyce was just teasin Xand. There was no way she wouldn't forgive him. The question is, when she finds out all I been keepin from her will she forgive me.