***I don't own anything!! Again guys, I'm sorry it took so long. Life happens. Tell me what you think!!! Enjoy:)****

Chapter 6 (BPOV)

Learning to be an Immortal

"So what happened after you left Forks?" Roslie asked.

"Well that part of the story is well, embarrassing." I said shyly.

After I said that Emmett smiled and images of me still being clumsy flashed through his mind. He saw me running at vampire speed, only to fall and take down a dozen trees with me.

Edward gave him a cold look, but I found it rather funny. I wasn't clumsy, but I was inexperienced and I knew he would enjoy this.

"I'm not clumsy anymore Emmett, but if there was ever a vampire to be clumsy, it would be me." I said with a smile.

He laughed out loud and everyone else followed along with him, including me.

"Sorry sis, but knowing you, I had to assume." Emmett said with a laugh, still remembering his earlier thoughts.

"So what happened after you left?" Jasper said.

His thoughts were more curious than anything else, he was no longer concerned about me harming any of the others and for that I was thankful.

"Well, after Jacob and the pack escorted me from Washington, I ran. I just needed to get away from people and fast." I said very matter of fact.

"I ran for several days before stopping, I didn't know where I was going and I don't know where all I have been. I just needed to make sure I was as far away from any humans as I could get." I told them

"How have you managed all this time, has anyone helped you?" Esme asked.

I loved her so, she again was worried and I was so grateful to have her back in my life.

"Well, I managed fine, and no, no one helped me. I spent the first year and a half completely isolated. I was afraid that I would attack humans if I allowed myself to get close to them. " I told her.

"It took me a while to learn to deal with the thirst, but eventually I could control it. On the rare occasion that I would pick up on a humans scent I would just turn and run the other way. Once I felt sure that I could allow myself to get close to them I would make short trips into the near by towns, but I never stayed long." I said

"Have you ever slipped up and killed any of them?" Jasper asked.

I was afraid that my response would upset him, I remembered that he had a difficult time dealing with this lifestyle.

"No I haven't, but I have wanted to!" I told them this and the thought alone made venom flood my mouth.

I saw through Jaspers thoughts that he had learned to control his bloodlust over the years and that he felt he and I had something in common now that no one else would understand.

I thought back on the days when I was human and how indifferent Jasper was to me. Back then I longed for a way to connect with Jasper. I respected him and honestly I found him to be extremely interesting and I hoped now that him and I could be friends, that the indifference he held towards me would be gone.

"I am very proud of you Bella, I understand how difficult and lonely this life can be. I'm sure you were very tempted to let the bloodlust control you, I must say the way you handled yourself is very much the way I did, one day you and I must compare notes on our experiences." Carlisle said.

He truly was proud of me, and I was glad. He had always been like a father to me, and there were very few people I respect and admired the way I did Carlisle.

"So what then, get to the embarrassing part already!" Emmett said.

Roslie slapped his chest with her hand, she was thinking how childish he was acting, but also how cute he was when he acted this way, I felt like I was intruding on a private moment and couldn't help but smile.

"Well Emmett, I don't know what to tell you. The first few times I tried to hunt, I couldn't figure out how." I admitted.

" And the first time I jumped over a river, I well, over jumped and I landed inside and old abandoned house. I'm really glad no one lived there, I would have really felt bad about that. I destroyed the place." I said and started laughing at myself.

Everyone was laughing out loud to that, and of course, their minds where flooded with images of me jumping into an old abandoned house and destroying it. I was really grateful that I was alone when that happened because the images they had were nothing compared to how bad it really was.

"That's pretty good, but not what I imagined." He laughed and once again images of me being the only clumsy vampire flooded his mind.

"Well, if it makes you feel better Emmett, I don't think I am the most graceful vampire out there, especially when it comes to jumping, but you and I will have to see just how strong I am, I think it's time someone put me to the test." I challenged.

I remembered just how much Emmett liked to compete and I knew that newborns were supposed to be extra strong, I wasn't that young but hopefully I still had enough strength to give him a run for his money.

"Your on little sis!" he said, and I could see all the challenges he wanted to put me up to, I was starting to think this might have been a bad idea.

"So that's all you've done then love, is just run around?" Edward asked.

I couldn't understand why, but he was concerned and ashamed of himself, he didn't want me to be out there alone all of this time and he was ashamed of himself for not being there with me.

"Yes that's it, after my parents death and being changed I needed time to find myself again, and I found that running helped me think." I told him.

"I'm sorry that you were alone all that time, I should have been there, I should have never left you Bella." He said.

"Don't be sorry, it was best that it happened the way it did, I wasn't good company and Edward you were always with me." I told him and smiled.

He was thinking of how to make all of this up to me, how he would fix all the mistakes between us, that he had caused.

I opened my mouth to correct him but Alice interrupted me.

"Okay, so enough with the questions, lets go show Bella her and Edward's room and find you something to wear!" She said as she bounced over to my chair and pulled me along behind her.

"Come on Esme and Rose, lets go have some fun, just us girls. The boys have a baseball game to plan, and now that we are evenly divided we should play boy's against the girls!" She told them.

As Alice pulled me from the dining room Edward stood up and tightened the grip on my hand. I looked up at him and I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that we had plenty of time to talk.

His mind was racing with all the concerns of the past years and he had so much he wanted to tell me, so many things he needed to say but he didn't know if I was ready, or if I even wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Hold on Alice, I want to try something." I told her.

"It will work!" she thought to me and of course she would have known, she would have seen my decision to try.

Esme and Rose had made there way over to me and Alice by the doorway to the dining room by now and the rest of the boys were standing behind Edward.

Everyones thoughts were of me and Edward. They were curious what would happen between us now and if we could reconcile our differences.

Emmett was sure we would be okay but that Edward had some serious groveling to do.

Jasper was glad that I was here because he thought Edward was in need of some professional help dealing with my absents.

Carlisle and Esme were both thinking that having him and I together again would unite the family and that Edward and I could finally love each other the way we should have been able to.

Roslie was thinking what a pain in the neck Edward had been all this time and it would serve him right if I made him crawl on his hands and knees for years after what he had done, and maybe he should throw in a car to top things off.

Alice was just thinking how happy we would be and how glad she was to have me back.

I wanted to reassure Edward that it was okay, that I was not going anywhere. I wanted him to know not to be concerned about the past, and we had forever to be together now.

I wasn't sure how this new talent of mine worked but I wanted Edward to hear what I had to say, but only him hear it. I just focused all my thoughts all my emotion on him and I prayed no one else would hear.

"Edward, my love, please don't worry, what has past is past. I have never blamed you for leaving, I'm sure you did what you thought was best. I know you have so much you want to say, as I do, and I promise we have forever together, as long as that is what you want." I thought to him.

His eyes told me that he heard me and before I could turn to follow Alice he had swept me up into his arms and kissed me.

Kissing Edward in the past was something that was always wonderful, but also cautious. I knew he held back before and that it must have taken away from the experience for him but I had no idea what I had been missing out on.

This kiss was not cautious, he held me tightly and excitedly. His scent, his breath and his touch was all so new and eager. This kiss was unlike anything I had experienced before.

"I love you Bella, and I will never make the mistake of letting go of you again." He said to me silently before letting me go.

"Get a room why don't ya!" Emmett barked.

I smiled and looked into Edward's eyes once more and thought to him, "I should go with the girls, but I would like to talk to you alone later, if thats okay?"

"Of course, I would like that very much as well." He thought

I really liked that he could hear my thoughts and I his, we could have these little private conversations and no one else would know, it was kind of romantic the more I thought about it.

"Okay, enough with all the silent talk, lets go Bella, lets get you changed before your date with Edward." Alice said.

"Oh, how wonderful a date and where are they going?" Esme asked

For the first time since I had arrived Esme's thoughts were completely joyful.

"Edward will figure it out in about 37 minutes, so come on we have to hurry." Alice commanded

"The first date in over 4 years Edward, you better make it good moron." Roslie told him.

I heard Emmett, Jasper and Carlise laugh about Roslie's comment as we reached the stairs and I couldn't help but giggle myself.

Roslie was right though, it would be mine and Edward's first "date" together in over 4 years and I was a vampire now, I was an equal to him now. I was nervous and then an emotion hit me for the first time since Edward had left.

Desire.

I knew the moment I felt the emotion that Jasper would as well, and if Jasper felt it, Edward would as well, through him.

I was at the top of the stairs now with Alice, Esme and Roslie in front of me, I turned slowly and looked down at Jasper.

His face was somewhat regretful, and I was sure I understood why.

"Sorry Bella, the emotion was rolling off you, along with nervousness, and longing. Well, at least you can't blush anymore." Jasper thought.

"What am I missing? Okay new rule, no more private mind conversations!" Emmett growled.

"Oh Emmett, you don't want to know what they are talking about." Alice said and smiled.

Just then I heard something run through Jaspers mind. What I heard from Jasper wasn't so much a statement or a though, so much as a understanding of a feeling.

He acknowledged that he felt desire and nervousness from Edward as well, and then a lack of confidence come from him.

As I felt the lack of confidence flow from Jasper and knew that it came from Edward, I began to worry about what would happen tonight and if I could do this, was I ready to.

Should I be intimate with Edward, and would I be any good at it?.......