I'm so glad the site's finally working again! I've been ready to post this chapter for three days now lol.
As always thanks to my beta, Ellie, was is fabulous.
This chapter's title comes from Cary Brother's "Precious Lie."
Let me know what you think! I love reading everyone's reviews!
Chapter 5 – "Precious Lie"
"He kissed you on the hand?" Serena asked, totally astonished.
"Yes… he did." I could feel my cheeks growing hot.
"Oh my god, you're blushing!" Serena exclaimed.
"Shhh… stop it!" I laughed.
She frowned and placed a protective hand over her curved belly as we crossed the street. "Blair… this is dangerous."
"What? What's dangerous?" I questioned her, as I shuffled the shopping bags in my hands as we walked to the park. Bella and Drew would go crazy when they opened these gifts Christmas morning. I'd just have to hand them off to Nate before my curious little girl could get a peek inside.
"Chuck and you… stealing moments in the back of a limo… again." Her features were creased in concern.
"Serena… it was just a kiss on the hand," I tried to brush her suggestion off.
"Was it? Was it just a kiss on the hand, B? Since you two got stuck in that elevator together I've seen you smile more than you have in years!" She stared at me, trying to read my reaction as we walked.
"Serena! I would never do that! For crying out loud, I'm married!" I wanted to drop the subject as quickly as possible. Thinking of Chuck and me rolling around in the back of a limo, or imagining us pressed up against elevator paneling would only make me blush more.
"But… you wanted to?" She stared back at me. She didn't even really need to ask; she knew me well enough to already know the answer.
"It doesn't matter what I did or didn't want." I brushed my hair out of my eyes as the chilly winter wind gusted.
"Of course it matters! What you want always matters!" Serena insisted. She linked her arm in my mine as we crossed another street.
"No, S… it doesn't!" I felt my throat tighten. Nothing that I wanted really mattered anymore. I had wanted to go to law school after Yale, but there'd been the wedding to plan… and then Bella. I had wanted my husband to be around for his daughter, but as the years went on he just became more and more consumed by his work. I had wanted more children so that Bella could have the brothers and sisters that I'd always wanted. But after three miscarriages, I'd just stopped trying. I was left in a lonely bed night after night while Nate climbed up the political ranks. And I could handle that… I could manage. Until he came back… he came back and he made me start feeling things again. I'd worked so hard to force myself not to care about my feelings anymore, to only focus on Bella and taking care of her, but he was rapidly melting my icy heart.
"B…" Serena rubbed my back as we got closer and closer to the corner near the park.
With my cashmere gloves, I wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape. I glanced up, looking for the kids and Nate.
"Oh my god! That child's going out in the street!" I exclaimed, horrified, squinting as I tried to see the small figure better at the end of the block better.
I looked at the little girl with the bouncing sandy curls as she leaned down to pick up a ball in the street. She had on a purple peacoat… just like my Bella's. She was wearing white knit tights… just like the ones Bella insisted she wear because she wanted to match with me. She had a sparkling silver headband in her hair… just like the one I'd delicately placed in Bella's hair this morning.
My heart started pounding faster than it ever had… that was my Bella.
It felt like time seemed to slow down, just like in the movies, when I saw it… I saw the bright yellow taxi.
I threw down my shopping bags and started racing down the block.
"Isabella! Isabella Archibald!" I screamed, my fear rising to levels I'd never experienced before. The wind whipped at me, but I didn't even feel the cold, my entire body was completely drenched in shock.
She looked up at me and smiled, but she was still in the direct path of the taxi.
I could feel my Jimmy Choo's slicing the backs of my heels as I tried to run to her. I had to scoop her up into my arms and shield her… but I was only halfway to her, and I would never make it to her before that cab.
That taxi would collide with my sweet little girl any second… but I continued to sprint on… my lungs felt like they'd burst.
"Bella!" I screamed again. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stumbled and landed harshly on the cold sidewalk, scraping my hands and knees. She was my whole world… my life…
"No! Bella! No!" I cried and pulled myself up. I had to get to her… I would throw myself in front of that taxi before I would let it hit her.
But then out of nowhere… a man rushed towards her and scooped her up into his arms. The taxi slammed on his brakes with a horrible squeal. The driver cursed at him before driving around him and continuing down the street.
He'd saved her! He'd saved my beautiful little girl!
I rushed over to him.
"Bella!" I sobbed and pulled her into my arms. I let my tears fall freely and I kissed her cheeks over and over again. My whole body shook as I held her close.
I looked up at the man, only to realize that I knew his dark, familiar features.
"Chuck?" I gasped.
I'd wrapped Blair's little girl up in my arms and she stared back at me, wide-eyed. I hadn't really looked at her close-up before… it was like looking at a blonde mini-Blair. She had Nate's light features and blue eyes, but Blair's curls and distinct style.
The cab driver screamed something angrily at me before he drove away.
"Bella!" I heard Blair call, and she came rushing towards me, her usual flurry of Chanel and vanilla, but with crimson blood staining her ripped snow colored tights at her knees, and tear-stained cheeks.
She pulled Bella into her arms and shook as she sobbed openly on the street. She kissed the little girl's cheeks and ran her fingers through her blonde hair.
She looked up at me and gasped, "Chuck?"
She was silent for a moment, but then she threw an arm around me and buried her face in my chest.
"You saved her! Chuck… you saved my daughter!" I rubbed her back gently with my hands as her tears left angry stains on my coat. She continued to thank me over and over again.
Then Serena was there, shopping bags in hand, tears streaming down her own cheeks. She wrapped her arms around Blair and me, and we were in the middle of the street in some sort of unusual group hug.
"Blair!" Nate called as he raced towards us, the blonde he had been arguing with earlier trailing behind him, baby boy in her arms. My nephew was behind them, running with outstretched arms to my stepsister.
Blair pulled away from me, but tightened her embrace on her daughter.
"Nate! How could you let that happen?" She turned on him like a mother lioness defending her cub. Her little girl looked up at her mother's tears and began sobbing.
"Is she okay?" He reached out and touched his daughter's cheek, trying to brush away her tears, but Blair pushed his hand away.
"What could've possibly been so important that you nearly let our child get killed?" She demanded, her cheeks red from rage.
That's when I noticed her glance at the blonde woman.
"Sarah?" She asked, still trembling.
I knew the instant she saw the infant in the women's arms, because she gasped as she looked into his eyes. Her free hand clenched into an angry fist.
"Bella… go to Aunt Serena." She smiled down at her child.
"But Mommy… I want you." Her little girl sniffled and snuggled closer to her.
"I'll be there in a minute, baby, please do what mommy says." She kissed her daughter's forehead before setting her down on the ground, and Bella scurried quickly over to Serena and Drew.
"How could you? How could you do this to me?" Blair shook her head as she continued to stare at the blonde's baby. The blonde, who I had gathered was Sarah, stared down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with everyone.
Serena must have sensed the battle brewing, because she hurried the children over to park benches nearby. They were far enough away so that the children couldn't hear or see what was going on. I didn't know whether to follow Serena or to stay… in the end I couldn't seem to get my legs to carry me away from Blair, and I stayed rooted in my spot beside her. Angry drivers honked at us, so the four of us moved onto the sidewalk.
Nate moved closer to Blair, and seemed to realize what had her so mesmerized. "Sweetheart, it's not what you think," he assured her, reaching out for her hand.
She stepped back from him, finally breaking her gaze on the baby boy.
"You bastard!" She shrieked, before slapping him with a deafening crack. Nate looked up at her, totally stunned, with a perfect pink outline of Blair's small hand across his cheek.
He tried to reach for her again but she pushed him away from her with all her strength, causing him to stumble backwards.
"Blair… we don't need to cause a scene here," Nate scolded, glancing around anxiously.
"Then tell me the truth!" She glared at him, pure hatred shining in her eyes.
Nate seemed to struggle for a moment. "Baby, there's nothing to tell. Sarah was delivering some paperwork for Senator Lawson and I got distracted… it was an accident." I noticed he didn't look her directly in the eyes as he stumbled over his words.
"Do you really think I'm that stupid? Do you really think I don't recognize your child? Do you really think I don't see that he's got your eyes? He looks exactly like you! He looks exactly like Bella when she was a baby!" She snapped at him.
"Blair… I'm telling you, it's not what you think." He was panicking, I could tell, and I knew that Blair could see it too. That's when I really looked at the baby in question… it only took me seconds to recognize Archibald features in the boy.
"Stop! Just stop! Enough lies Nate… tell her the truth!" Sarah demanded furiously.
Nate hesitated for a moment, staring at Blair with fear in his eyes. "I made… I made a mistake, B. I'm so sorry… I never meant for this… for any of this to happen."
Sarah gasped and angry tears started flowing down her cheeks, "You're still lying! You've been lying to me for years! And you've been lying to your wife for even longer!"
She turned her attention to Blair, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." Sarah cuddled her son closer to her and walked away, tears still running down her cheeks.
Blair just stared at Nate, both her hands now balled into angry fists.
She cleared her throat. "Ten years ago, I stood on a street corner and asked you if you loved me. You couldn't even answer me…"
"Blair…" Nate started.
"No! Let me finish!" Blair insisted.
"Ten years ago on that street corner… and I realized I didn't need you. But I was scared, so scared of taking a risk, and I fell back into my old habits. I thought you were safe and secure. I thought that if I was with you… I'd be happy… I'd live some sort of perfect, fairy tale life. But while you've been lying to me, I've lying to myself. I've allowed myself to be numb for ten years. Maybe… maybe I had to face losing my daughter, the most important person in my life, to finally realize it again… but I don't need you, Nate Archibald. I've never needed you." With that, she turned away from him, her head held high like the queen she was, and returned to her daughter.
Nate stood before me, stunned in silence, as he watched his wife walk away from him.
He'd been my best friend once, been such a big part of my life for so many years… but looking at the man before me… I didn't see the boy I once knew. I saw a man, a man who'd lost himself somewhere along the way. A man who'd allowed his world to crumble, who'd allowed himself to get so caught up in his aspirations that he'd forgotten what was really most important.
"Chuck! Chuck, let's go!" Serena called. She was getting into a taxi with Blair and the children.
I looked back at Nate… trying to see something… trying to find the boy I'd once known in his eyes. But all I saw was emptiness. His blue eyes were nothing more than a sea of emptiness and confusion.
I shook my head and made my way to the waiting cab, leaving my former friend to drown in the sea of emptiness he'd created.