Loss of Faith

Chapter 20: Looking For A Miracle

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Xander's POV –

It's been a couple hours since we got here and I'm sitting by the bed feeling totally useless. Not a new feeling for me. We've all been taking turns sitting with Buff then going back out to help with the research. All except Joyce, that is. She refuses to leave Buffy's side for even a moment. She's sitting on the other side of the bed, holding Buff's hand and talking to her in a low voice. She's trying to bring Buffy some comfort, let her know that she's not here alone. I think she's hoping Buff will come out of the delirium long enough to recognize her and talk to her a little. I hope it happens for both Joyce and Faith's sake. Faith has been pacing nonstop almost since we got here. She goes from the bedside, out to where Willow has set up her computer and then back. Each time she completes the circle, her eyes look a little darker and she seems more agitated. If we don't catch a break soon I think she's just going to lose it completely.

Here she comes again and I can see the storm in her eyes has almost reached the breaking point. I swear I can feel the electricity coming off her in spikes. It's like being outside when a thunderstorm is just about ready to really rip loose. Faith is getting so charged up, it's starting to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. In fact, it's gotten so bad that Willow told her if she didn't stop interrupting the research she was going to put a binding spell on Faith to make her sit in one spot. Yea, that went over really well. Faith comes over to the bed and I move to let her sit down. It also gives me a chance to go out and see how the others are making out.

Walking over to Will I ask, "Got anything yet?"

Without looking up she says, "You're getting as bad as Faith, Xand. That binding spell thingy goes for you too, you know."

"I know you're doing your best Will," I tell her, "but it's pretty hard for the rest of us. Not being with the uber-hacker skills." I give her a smile just in case she wasn't kidding about that spell thing.

"Yeah, sure, like flattery will work," she tells me. "Really Xander, I'm doing everything I know…………Oh!" She trailed off and I look over her shoulder.

She's on some obscure occult website and in a small paragraph there's a reference to a vampire poison. "Oh what? Come on Will don't keep me waiting here." I say as I lean down to get a better look at the screen.

"There's……there's a reference here to the 'Interfector Mortis'. And….and the only known cure," She says in a low voice. Why she's being so hesitant I can't imagine. If there's a cure she should be shouting it from the rooftops at full volume.

"That's great," I yell. "What is it? Wait a minute, let me get Faith," and I turn to go, but she puts a hand on my arm stopping me. When I look down at her she's not looking as happy as I would have liked. She's got a crease in her forehead and her lips are pressed tightly together leaving only a thin white line. "Willow, what is it? What's wrong," I have to ask. That look on her face is not reassuring me at all.

"Xander the only known cure, the only mention of a cure that I've been able to find, is here. It says that the infected vampire must 'drain the blood of a slayer' to counteract the poison," she tells me.

Now I know why she is so hesitant. Either Faith or Shannon is going to have to bleed to save Buffy.

There's a short, harsh, bark of laughter from behind us and turning around I see Faith standing there with the most vicious grin on her face that I have ever seen.

"Oh that's,……. whaddya call it? Ironic. Yea, that's ironic. That little bitch thought she was gonna kill B and now she's gonna save her," Faith says. Then turning on her heel she heads for the front door.

Will and I are after her in a flash. Catching up I grab her arm to slow her down and try to talk to her. "Faith, where are you going? You don't even know where to find Shannon." What are you going to do?"

"Let go of me Xand," she says in growl. "I'm not kidding around. You either let go of me right now, or I won't be responsible for what happens. I'm gonna go save B!"

I let go of her in a hurry, but keep trying to talk some sense into her. "You can't just go out wandering around hoping to run into her, Faith. You don't even know the first place to look. That's not even considering that she'll be waiting for you. Probably loaded to the teeth with whatever tranq the Council sent her."

"I don't know where to look, but she does," Faith spits out while nodding her head toward Willow. "That right, Red? Whaddya say? Gonna help save Buffy's life or you gonna keep pretendin that the new girl is all peaches and cream?"

Giles comes into the room at that point and he can see the tension building. "What is going on in here? What have you found out?" he asks. Faith and Willow are still staring at each other. Willow looks like a scared mouse watching a hungry cat. And Faith? Faith is gone, only the Slayer is in her eyes.

"Seems Red found a cure G," Faith answers him. Her voice is low and cold. Just hearing her talk in that voice reminds me how dangerous, how deadly the slayers can really be. "Now I'm just waitin for her to tell me where I can go get it." Faith's eyes haven't left Willow's face since she started talking and I can see the faintest tremble starting in Will's hands.

"Willow, that's excellent news," Giles says with a smile. Little does he know he's making things worse, not better. "What is the cure? Where is it located? Time is of the essence I fear. We should waste no time in retrieving it."

"Yea Red," Faith continues in that same dead voice. "Let's not waste any more time. Where is she?"

"She?" Giles asks. Now he's really confused. "What do you mean she? Does Shannon have the cure?"

"No Giles," I tell him with a sigh. "Shannon doesn't have the cure, Shannon is the cure. It takes a slayers blood to counteract the poison."

"Oh Dear," Giles says. "That will present a bit of a problem." Giles is looking from Faith to Willow and back. He feels the tension between them, but doesn't seem to know how to stop it either.

"Nope, not even a little bit, G," Faith goes on. Now she's starting to walk slowly over to Willow. "Not a problem at all. Red is gonna tell me where the murderin bitch is, then I'm gonna go and get a big bottle full of antidote." Faith let's out another harsh bark of laughter and says, "Hell, I might even just bring her back here and let B take the cure right from the source." Looking in Faith's eyes I can see she has just about gone off the deep end. Her normally rich chocolate brown eyes have bled to a brown so dark they're almost black. Her eyes are showing one emotion, cold, calculating rage. There is a dark intense need in them. They're showing a need to do whatever she must to save Buffy, even if it means killing. Especially if it means killing.

I step in front of Faith and for a moment it seems like the shadows in her eyes clear a little. For a moment I think that I can bring her back from the edge. Then it's gone. "Faith," I say and I'm keeping my voice low, soft and calm. Trying not to let it show how much she's scaring the shit out of me right now. "You need to think about what you're doing. You really don't want to hurt Willow. Not after she found a way to help Buff. We just need to figure out a way to help Buffy and at the same time, not kill Shannon."

Faith's eyes jump from watching Willow to me and she asks, "Do you really think that's possible Xand? After all we been through, do you really think we're gonna come up with a second last minute answer? I don't. And I'm not willing to bet Buffy's life on takin the chance, are you?"

What could I say? No, I was not going to bet Buff's life on the off chance we could come up with another answer. I also wasn't going to let Faith rip into Willow to find out where Shannon might be. "Okay, you're right, Faith," I tell her. "But at least promise me you'll bring Shannon back here, unharmed and alive. That'll give us some more time to try and come up with another way. Please, Faith. Say you'll do it our way."

"I'll agree to bring her back alive, Xander," she tells me. "Being unhurt is gonna be entirely up to her. I will not fuck around with her. If she doesn't wanna come willingly, which she'd be stupid to do, I'm gonna do what I hafta to get her here." Then she goes on in a softer voice, "I'm not gonna make you a promise I can't keep."

A little bit of sanity has seeped back into Faith's eyes and as I watch, her expression softens just a bit as she asks, "Red? Please tell me where I can find her. I promise you I'll do my best not to hurt her, but I will be bringing her back here. Please, Red. For Buffy. Where would she be?"

Willow's voice is a combination of scared and relieved. She answers Faith in a small little girl voice, "Well, she always gets twitchy if she doesn't get to slay every night. So I think she would be out looking for some demons to kill. She likes to go through the older cemeteries. She says they have more character and remind her of back in England." Then she tells Faith in a pleading voice, "Please don't hurt her anymore than you have to Faith. She's been filled with that Council of Watchers crap all her life and really doesn't know any better."

"She 'doesn't know any better'?" Faith incredulously gasps out. Now I can see her starting to get revved up again. "Red she stepped way over the line here. This wasn't just about killing what she thought was a demon." Faith was moving closer to Will as she spoke and I don't think she even knew it. "Did you even see the cuts on Buffy? That was torture, not an attempt to quickly end it. She did it so I would find her, find her and know what that bitch did to her, how she made B suffer." Faith's voice cracks as she finishes speaking. Then she stops and takes a step back. She breathes in real deep, then lets it out slowly. "Look Willow," she continues in a much calmer tone, "all I can promise is to do my best."

I could tell that Faith was done with the talking. She went past Willow and Giles, making her way into the bedroom to say goodbye to Buffy. I didn't think Faith was wrong, but I also didn't think she was entirely right either. Everyone deserves a second chance and maybe we'll find a way to give Shannon one. I hope so anyway.

I see Faith come back out from the room where Buffy is, she has tears falling from her eyes and it seems like she doesn't realize it. Joyce comes to the doorway and calls after her, "Faith honey, where are you going?"

Faith grabs her jacket off the couch on her way out of the room, heading to the front door. She turns before she leaves and says to Joyce, "Hunting." Then she's gone.