Loss of Faith

Chapter 22: Drawing The Line

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

I pull up to the front of the house with the newbie slayer layin face down over my lap. I'm not saying I tried to hit every pothole coming back, but the ones I did hit made my knee bounce up and smack her in the face. And No, I don't feel one fuckin bit sorry about it. I'm feelin more sorry about the blood stains runnin down my knee from where I broke her nose earlier. Getting blood outta leather is damn near impossible if ya don't do it right away. If anyone thinks that's harsh, it's too freakin bad. Red oughta be glad I'm not just bringin back a bottle of her blood and that she's still in one piece. The only reason this bitch is still breathin is cause B needs her……and I sorta promised Xand.

I get offa the bike and haul her ass back up over my shoulder. She's tryin to lay still, but I know that she woke up half way back here. I could hear the slight grunt every time my knee kissed her face. I can feel the smirk cross my lips, if she thinks she's gonna take me by surprise and get away, she's in for her second surprise of the night. Walkin up to the door I throw it open and stride in, headin straight for the room B's in. Red and Giles come runnin to see what's goin on.

Giles is the first to talk, "Faith, you found her. Is she……….alright?"

I stop and give him a look, "Depends on what ya mean by 'alright'. She's alive, yea."

Red has a hand to her mouth and she's gone a little pale from lookin at the blood splashed down my front. She asks in a strangled voice, "What…what happened?"

"I gotta get to B," I say. "Can we do story time later?" Then I start to move forward again and Giles steps in front of me. I give him a look that shoulda had him scrambling outta the way, but he just squares up his shoulders and starts talkin again.

"Faith, please, can you just wait a moment?" He asks. He's kinda pleadin and hurries on when I stop again. "Can you really feed an unconscious human to a vam…..vampire? Does not that go against everything the slayer line stands for?"

I stare at him like he has lost his frickin mind and say, "First off G, that's not just any vampire. That's B. It's Buffy! Don't ya get that yet? That's not some demon bent on the destruction of all mankind. That's the person that saved this miserable fuckin world more times than I can count. You should know that better than anyone. Secondly," I go on, "She's not a human. She's a slayer. Ya know, demon essence and all. Yea, she's a fucked up slayer, but a slayer all the same. And lastly," now I throw the mini onto the floor and let them see that she's awake as she lets out a yelp, "She's not unconscious."

Red goes over to her and starts checkin out the damage to her face. She gives her the once over to make sure nothing else is bleedin. The baby slayer only has eyes for me, though. She's lookin at me like I'm Satan himself and I'm lookin back at her without one ounce of compassion. Like I said, she got herself into this mess and dragged B in with her. I'm only interested in savin one of them and this piece of shit in front of me ain't it.

Turnin back to Giles I say, "Now G, either ya got a different way to save B, or I'm takin her dinner. Which is it?" Red lets out a little gasp and her girl's eyes go wide and panicked.

Giles takes his glasses off and starts cleanin them while speakin. "No, Faith," he says softly, "we have not been able to find any mention of another way to save Buffy. I'm afraid that the blood of a slayer is the only cure ever found in all the documented history we have been reading."

"Fine," I say. "It's settled then." I move to pick up Shannon and Red kinda moves in front of her with a whimper. I don't wanna hurt Red, but I am gonna do this. Just then Xand comes outta the room B's in and walks over to me.

"How is she," I ask him in a small scared voice.

"She's hurting," he answers. He's lookin me straight in the eyes and I can see he is so not happy about what I'm gonna do to save B. "Joyce has been staying with her nonstop. Buff seems to be fading in and out of consciousness, but whenever she is awake, the first thing she does is ask for you," he says.

I feel my eyes startin to tear up and shake my head. I tell him, "I'm gonna go make her feel better then. Shouldn't keep a lady waitin, ya know."

He puts a hand out on my shoulder, stopping me before I can even move and says, "Faith, I know what you think you have to do. And I know what Buff means to you. All I'm going to do is ask you a couple of questions, you don't even need to answer them, then I'm going to step aside and you do what you need to."

I look at him and nod for him to go on, but I don't like the way he sounds.

"First," he says, "What would you do if you came across someone, anyone, trying to feed a bound victim to a vampire? Any vampire. What would Buffy have done?" The look I'm givin him turns ice cold, even though I can see how much it's hurtin him to hafta say this to me.

"Second," he continues, and now he has tears in his own eyes, "If you do this and Buffy survives, do you think she's going to thank you? Do you think she's going to be able to forget what it took to save her?" Then he steps away and goes over to stand by the doorway. He's just lookin at me, waitin to see what I do.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!!! What is it with him? Doesn't he know what I'm goin through here? Doesn't he know how hard this is? Yea, of course he knows. He also knows I'll never be able to live with myself if I go through with this. He's also right about B. She would never be able to live with knowing what it took to save her. She would never forgive me.

I walk forward slowly towards the bedroom, goin right past Red and Shannon. I think the mini slayer almost passed out with relief as I kept goin without stopping to drag her sorry ass along with me. I mumble to Willow as I go passed, "Red, you gonna clean her up and unchain her or what?" I don't look at them. I keep my eyes focused on the door, my mind on what I'm gonna find on the other side and what I'm gonna do.

I open the door quietly and step inside. Joyce is sittin next to the bed in a chair, her eyes are red from cryin and she looks like she's aged about ten years. That's something else that's my fault. I shoulda just left her outta this. There's no reason she should hafta go through all this pain again. Here I thought I'd be doin something great for her, givin her the chance to see her daughter again, instead all I've givin her is more pain. Helluva way to show I care huh?

She looks up when I come in and shut the door. She actually smiles over at me. I feel her smile like a knife in my gut and I can't stop thinkin that I failed her too. She gets up from the chair and says, "Come here sweetie." The tenderness in her voice makes the tears that have been stingin my eyes spill over to run down my cheeks. I almost stumble as I move over to her and she wraps me up in a tight hug.

"I want to thank you for giving me this time with her, Faith," she whispers into my hair as she kisses my cheek. "I never thought I would have the chance to tell Buffy how proud I always was of her. How much I loved her, even when I was mad at her. Now, you gave me that chance and I can't tell you how much it means to me."

I can feel Joyce's tears on my face as they mix with mine and I can't hold back anymore. My breath hitches in my throat and I let out a long moan as I breakdown and start completely bawlin. This woman, this incredible woman who took me in and loved me and cared for me more than anyone ever before in my life, is standin here thankin me for bein the cause of her pain. And I know that I have to give her back her daughter. I had already made up my mind and now I know what I'm gonna do is abso-fuckin-lutely the right thing to do. There really is no other choice.

I take a coupla deep breaths and calm myself down as I tell her, "No Joyce, I gotta thank you, for everything you've done for me since I came to this town. You've been my friend and more of a mother to me than I ever thought I'd have. More than I ever deserved."

She leans back to look in my eyes and gives me that sweet understandin smile of hers. Then she wipes the last of the tears from my face as she says, "Don't be silly, Faith. How could anyone help but love you?"

That almost sets me off cryin again so I step back and say to her while wiping my eyes, "Joyce, do ya think I could have some time alone with B? I'd kinda like to say goodbye."

"Of course, dear," she says. "I'll be right outside, just call me when you're done." Then she kisses my cheek again and turns to leave.

I move over to the bed as I hear the door open and close. B is layin there with her eyes closed and a blood sweat standin out on her whole body. She's got a pained expression on her face and I can see the bed sheets bein ripped when she squeezes her hands. I sit on the edge of the bed and softly say to her, "Heya Twinky, Ya hangin in there?"

She opens her eyes and even through the pain she manages to give me a smile. She pants out, "Hey there, yourself. Finally decided to come see the cripple, huh?"

Oh God, she's tearin my heart out here. "You're not a cripple B," I tell her while I brush a strand of sweat soaked hair back from her face, "Ya could still kick most people's ass with one hand behind your back. Not mine of course, but most people."

She barks out a small laugh that turns into a coughin fit. I can see how much it's hurtin her and just about die inside. When she's done, there's a trail of blood runnin down from her lips and I reach over to wipe it away.

"Buffy listen to me," I say. She looks up at me and I know she noticed I used her full name. That always means I'm serious. "I'm gonna make it better for ya. We know how to cure this shit and I need ya to agree to take the antidote."

"Willow told me," she says. "Faith, I can't do it. I can't take Shannon's blood just to save myself. Not even for you. I'm sorry."

I feel a spark of anger at Red flare up then push it away. What did I think she would do, just sit there and watch me feed her girlfriend to B? "No B," I tell her. "I know you'd never be able to do that." I lean over her and pull my hair back from the side of my neck. "That's why you're gonna take mine."

She starts to pull away from me with a look of horror in her eyes. She starts sayin, "No! No way! No! Get out of here, Faith. Get away from me."

I reach over and hold her face between my hands, then lean in and slowly kiss her. Her lips are dry and cracked but I don't hesitate for even a moment. Pullin back and lookin in her eyes I tell her, "Buffy, I love you. I always have. I'm sorry, but I will not sit here and watch you die. I just can't do it."

Before she can say anything else I grab her shoulders and pull her up. I hold her in place with one hand and start slappin her as hard as I can across the face with the other. It's killin me inside but I hafta get the demon to wake up. I need her to lose control enough that I can make her drink. The third time I strike her she changes into vamp face and I know that it's now or never. Grabbin her by the back of the head I swing my hair outta the way and slam her face into the crook of my neck makin sure her mouth and nose land right over the jugular vein.

For a moment she tries to pull back but she's too weak and I'm too desperate. Then the smell of my blood right under her nose and the taste of my skin takes her over. I can feel her teeth as they sink into my neck, piercing the skin and letting the blood flow. At first it feels like she's just letting it run down her throat, helpless to stop, then I feel her start to suck. I can feel my life bein pulled outta me through the wound and into her.

In a little while I'm startin to get weak so I'm not grippin her as strongly as I was, but just as I'm getting weaker she's getting stronger and I feel her supportin me now. She's pullin me closer. She's holdin me up, keepin me from fallin backwards. I feel her leanin up farther and next thing I know we're standin in the middle of the room with her holdin me in her arms. I'm just hangin there unable to stand on my own. I feel everythin going grey and fuzzy. With my last few breaths I whisper into her ear, "Buffy, I'll always love you." Then we're both crashin to the floor.

The shock of hittin the ground must have brought her back from the blood lust, cause I hear her scream out, "Faith!!!!, Nooo!"

Her screams, so loud and strong, bring the others crashin through the door in a panic and the last thing I see is them gatherin around as Buffy pulls me into her lap. B starts cryin while brushin my hair back from my face. Her vamp face is gone and she looks as beautiful as ever to me. Even with the tears running down her face and snot bubbles in her nose. Everything goes black as I hear her cry over and over, "This can't happen, this can't happen………….."

B is gonna live, and I think the price was pretty cheap. I think I finally did something right.