Loss of Faith

Chapter 25: Through The Looking Glass

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the recognizable characters contained within.

That would be Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc….

Faith's POV –

Damn my head hurts. I'm layin down somewhere and my eyes are closed. I started hearin sounds a little while ago but my brain is all fuzzy and I'm not sure what they are. The longer I lay here the clearer they become, well not really clearer, everything I hear sounds like it's muffled by cotton or something. I start to open my eyes and a blinding pain shoots through my head, as if it didn't hurt enough already. I quickly squeeze my eyes closed and won't be tryin that again anytime soon. I try to lift a hand to rub my forehead and it feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. Why am I so weak? What the hell happened?

I try and relax hopin that I'll figure out what's goin on, or at least where I am. Thinkin back I remember havin a fight with the new slayer. I can see myself standin over her and chainin her arms up, then throwin her on my bike and goin home. Why am I takin her home? Oh shit! Buffy. I had to get the newbie to heal B! It's all comin back in a rush now. I remember carryin the bitch that poisoned B into the house, then havin the confrontation with Willow and Xander. Throwin her on the floor and deciding that I would use my own blood to save B. I didn't want any part of the new girl near Buffy. I remember goin into the bedroom and askin Joyce to wait outside. Forcin B to drink and then passin out. But before I passed out I saw Buffy, she was healed and holdin me. Tellin me she loved me. I musta done it. I musta saved her.

The thought that B's gonna live makes me relax a little and I sink back into the pillows cradling my head. If B's okay, then it doesn't matter where I am. As soon as I can get my ass in gear, I'll be able to go see her. That thought makes me smile as a flood of warm feelings for her runs through me.

I'm layng here kinda floatin. My head is startin to feel better and I risk crackin open my eyes again. Everythin is kinda hazy, but I don't get the blinding pain I had earlier. Carefully lookin around, I can see I'm hooked up to the required monitors and there's a bag of what looks like blood runnin to an IV in my arm. I'm still havin a really hard time getting my arms to move, but that should go away soon. Heh, heh, Slayer healin, ya gotta love it. I must not have been out for too long cause I can see through the window that it's still nighttime. I wonder how long it's been though.

Hmmm, I musta just been moved into this room cause there's no sign of any of the Scoob's or Joyce around. I would think that at least B would be here for when I woke up. Christ, I hope she doesn't go all 'guilt trippin' on me and avoidy cause I made her drink. Maybe she'll be pissed about me smackin her around to bring the demon out. No. I'm not gonna even worry about that right now, not until I can move around and actually do something about it if it's true. Me and her have got to get past all this shit. It seems like all we do is go round and round tryin to second guess each other. And I, for one, have had enough of that dance. We are gonna start talkin about what's goin on, no more guessin. I just wanna start living. Really livin, with her by my side. Ha, that's pretty funny. Me wantin to talk about my feelings. I must be outta it more than I thought.

I look over to the door as someone starts comin in. Before the door is open all the way I rasp out, "B?" Man, my voice sounds like shit. It's barely above a whisper and sounds like it just rolled outta a gravel pit. The door opens the rest of the way and I can see it's not Buffy, but a coupla orderlies walkin in pushin a gurney. There's a look of surprise on their faces when they see I'm awake but they cover pretty quickly. One of them starts over to the bed while the other one closes the door. Funny, but it looked like he was checkin out the hallway first before shuttin it.

'We have to move fast," the one by the bed says. I'm all of sudden not likin the way this is goin.

"She's awake," the other one hisses. "She shouldn't be awake yet."

"Shut up and get over here," the first guy says. "She must just now be coming around and I want to get her sedated before she completely wakes up. Hold her down just in case!"

I'm really not likin this now and I try to move away from them. I still can't get my arms to move too much and there's not very far I could go on the bed anyway. I try my voice again and I can still barely hear it, "Who are you guys? What are ya tryin to do?"

"This would have been easier at the cemetery, if Travers' pet slayer hadn't screwed up," the second guy says.

"Quit you're complaining. She botched it. We are just lucky we made it to the house in time to follow this one here," the guy by the bed says. "If we had blown this mission there's no telling what the old man would have done. He's been itching to get his hands on this girl for a long time. I don't know why, but he's taking getting control of this slayer personal. Probably cause the last one kept ignoring him."

"Great. Now he'll have a spare slayer to play with those damn vampires he keeps locked up. If you ask me, Travers has gone off the deep end," the second guy says as he comes over and holds down my arms.

Shit and double shit! These must be the Council goons the mini called from the cemetery. That means they're gonna try and take me back for 'reconditioning'. Or worse. I wish I coulda waited and taken them out at the graveyard. Then they'd be the ones layin here gettin blood. I try and move again, my arms, my legs, anything that I could use to fight them. But all I'm doin is little feeble flops with my arms and my legs just sit there kinda tremblin. I hate bein weak and right now I'm more helpless than a kitten.

They don't even look at me as the first guy pulls a syringe from his pocket and slips it into my arm. Damn it, I hate needles! He pushes the plunger down and I can feel a rush of warmth runnin into my veins and spreadin throughout my whole body. Everywhere it touches, it leaves a calm, slightly numb feelin. As the heat flows through me, I feel myself start to float away and all my limbs relax. I'm not passin out or nothin, I just can't seem to care about what's goin on. It's almost like watchin a boring show on TV. You're kinda lookin at it, but don't remember what happened two minutes ago. And don't care.

"Alright," first dude says, "That'll hold her till we get out of here. Shut those machines off and help me move her onto the gurney."

The second dude moves to the machines and starts flippin switches. One by one they go silent. He keeps lookin at me like I'm gonna bite him or something and I can't help but laugh at him. It sounds like more of a wheezy snort to my ears, but inside I'm bustin a gut. I know I should be worried about something their doin, but can't for the life of me remember why. And that makes me laugh at myself. I'm a big scary slayer and I'm havin a hard time concentratin on my own name. My name…..Faith……….I say it again in my head, Faaaiiittthhh……. It sounds funny and I start snickerin again. Faith and……..Buffy. Buffy? Oh, Buffy….. blonde hair, green eyes, slight overbite. Overbite, that sends me laughin again, cause Buffy's a vamp now. B's a vampire now? That thought sobers me up for about a second, something to do with B bein a vamp and needin…….. what? Then it drifts away on the warm tide.

What was I thinkin? Doesn't matter. The guys in the scrubs got me moved onto the gurney thing and are startin to wheel me outta the room. One guy looks up and down the hall before pullin me out behind him. Wheeeeee, I'm goin for a ride! I let my head lay back and watch the ceiling as we're movin. The tiles are whippin past, each one slightly different than the other, but all still the same. It's kinda makin me dizzy so I close my eyes for a moment.

That's makin me even more dizzy. So I open them and look down the hallway. There at the end I see a group of people talkin to a nurse. They're all paying really close attention to whatever she's tellin them and they look a little relieved. I'm happy for them. It looks like they just got some good news. As the nurse moves away from them I get a look at a little blonde that kinda leans into some guy. Wait a minute, that's not some guy, that's Xand. And the blonde is Buffy. Oh man, Joyce, Giles, Red and the newbie are there as well. They must be here to see me and these guys are takin me away. No! I don't wanna go! I try and call out but my damn voice is still betrayin me, all that comes out is a soft, "B."

Then we move around a corner and I can't see B and Xander in the hall anymore. Hmmm, I was just thinkin about something. What the hell was it? Doesn't matter. Wheeee! I'm goin for a ride. Glidin down the hallway, I watch all the people comin and goin. Lookin at them, it seems like they're movin real slow. Like any minute they're gonna freeze in place then crumble away. Picturin them crumbling away, reminds me of how a vamp dusts and that makes me snort laughter again. Nothin better than dustin a vamp.

We turn around another corner and we're out a door. There's a private ambulance with its doors open, sittin in front of us and the guys pushin me stop just long enough to lower the gurney before hoistin me up and in. I gotta tell ya, getting lowered then raised like that is gonna get these guys covered in puke if they do it again. I can feel my stomach protesting the sudden change in directions and I gag a little.

One of my scrub wearin pals hops in back with me and starts securing my hands to the rails, while the other climbed in the front. The one back here turns to me at my gaggin sound and looks like he's gonna lose his lunch. The way his jaw is flexin sends me into a fit of giggles. A moment later and I'm wonderin what I was gigglin about. The engine starts up and we pull away from the hospital. That makes me sad for a minute. Almost like I was leavin something behind that I shoulda had with me. Then I notice the stars through the back window and forget about everythin else.

Lookin at the stars I start thinkin to myself, 'Twinkle, twinkle, little bat. How I wonder where you're at?' Now I'm giggling again. Why am I thinkin of bat's? That's kinda familiar. Bats…..vampires…….Buffy……Buffy! That's who's at the hospital. That's what I left behind. I start tryin to get a hand loose and the guy in back here flips on the overhead light to check the restraints he put on me. As the light washes over me, my eyes settle on the silver ring on my hand. The dome light on the roof is reflectin off it in different color rays and I think, 'Oooo, that's wicked pretty'. Wait, I was gonna do something wasn't I? What was it? Doesn't matter. Man, does this feel good. It's like a constant warm wave is flowin through my whole body. It's like I could just coast here forever. Zero stress baby.

I'm startin to get a little sleepy and as I drift off I notice the light reflectin off my ring has changed color again. It's green now. A deep emerald green. It reminds of something, no, someone. Someone's green eyes. Green eyes, that I could stare into for the rest of my life and never get tired of seein them. As I fade out, all I can think of is blonde hair, green eyes, and this warm feelin I have inside me. Finally a feelin of home.