She had dinner and her and Edward hung out in his room, or she watched him play piano, they spent as much time together as possible. As they were laying in the floor in Edwards room together listening to music, she turned to him and asked him a question. "You take showers right?" She blushed, knowing it was a silly question.
He laughed a little and kissed her red cheek. "I don't just come naturally clean. Of course I do."
Smiling she set up on her elbow, leaning towards him. She reached out to touch his cheek and kiss him passionately. He had been doing good with fighting back his urges with her recently so she knew it was ok. He pulled away first looking at her with nothing but love in his eyes. She spoke again, taking her time like she didn't know if she should say it at first. "Take a shower with me..." Her words were almost a whisper.
Tensing some his was speechless for a second. "What?" He heard what she said, but was extremely taken off guard.
Taking his tensing the wrong way she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
He grabbed her and pulled her back to him. "Wait, no.. I'm just surprised is all."
She did not fight him when he pulled her back, there was no reason to, but she could not think of what else to say to him, feeing a little awkward now with his reaction.
Edward noticed her acting different and pulled her so she was against him. "Hey, don't be like that." He smiled and kissed her hand. "I would love to, I just don't know if I can."
"Only one way to find out." Bella moved to stand, reaching a hand out to him to follow her. She had no idea where her new found bravery came from, but wasn't going to let it go to waste. She grabbed the things she would need and lead the way to the bathroom, not looking back to see if he was following.
Edward grew suddenly nervous at the change. He wanted to give her everything she wanted and show her his love in every way possible, but feared he would hurt her if he wasn't careful. Not only scared of what control he had, but scared since he hadn't been with someone like this before. What if he made a fool of himself? He followed her since it was what she wanted and shut the door behind them once in the bathroom. He leaned against it and looked at her as she turned the shower on to let it warm up. His breath hitched in his throat when she turned to look at him.
Turning around she smiled at him slightly and moved to place her hands on his chest as she kissed him. "You going to be ok?"
He kissed her back and laughed nervously. "Maybe..."
Bella was just as nervous as he seemed, but tried not to show it. She stepped away from him to get undressed. Doing it very slowly, scared of what he was going to think of her once all the clothes were removed.
He could hear how fast her heart was beating as he watched. His hand gripped the side of the counter, trying to be a gentleman for her and not let his eyes wander when her clothes were finally on the floor and off her body. Also to not let his body react like a horny 13 year old boy, but he was a guy it didn't matter what part of her body he looked at, he still knew she was naked.
Taking in a deep breath she tried to keep up her act and stay confident. She could see the frustration on his face as he tried to be polite. "Its alright Edward. You can look." She still had a little bruising on her side and hoped it wasn't making the way he was going to see her any different.
His eyes couldn't help it after that, fully taking in the sight of her. She only got more beautiful the more he looked at her. Even though all he could think about was how much he loved her and how personal and how much trust was in this. His body could not help but betray him and react to her.
She moved closer and reached up to unbutton his shirt, only to be stopped by his trembling hands. "I got it.." You could now hear the tremble in his voice. Bella reached up to stop him as he went for his buttons now. Placing her hand on his gently.
"You don't have to do this." Her voice was soothing and soft, it helped calm him. He had dreamed of stuff like this with her. Not exactly this in general, but being able to be with her like this and stay calm and in control.
"I want to." He went back to opening his shirt and let it slide off his arms and to the floor to join her clothes. He was still nervous but was getting more confident as long as she stayed that way as well. His hands went to undo his pants next, but he stopped to look at her.
"Please understand that even though I may not be human, I'm still a man and I can't help how my body is reacting to you." He bit his lip "Just don't think I'm trying to disrespect you or anything.."
Bella smiled up at him after taking in the beauty of his naked torso. She could not get over how polite he was being, thinking he would probably be struggling with himself more than what she thought of him. Her body was reacting as well by that time and she was sure he could smell her, but this wasn't about being sexual and they both knew that. It was about love and trust and even though both their bodies had other ideas their minds never changed to follow them. They cared about each other too much to let something that simple get in the way.
"I understand." She couldn't help but blush at the grin he got on his face, obviously catching the smell of her finally but didn't say anything about it. It actually made him feel a little better that it wasn't just him.
After feeling comfortable with how she was going to react to him he finally slid the rest of his clothes off.
That was the first time she had ever seen him fully nude. Nothing she imagined him to look like even compared to the real thing. He really did look amazing and her eyes could not help but wander down towards his erection. She gasped softly as her body reacted to him again, closing her eyes a minute to remind herself thats not what this was about.
When she opened them again he was smiling at her. He took her hand and lead them in the direction of the shower.
He figured the fact that in his head he knew this wasn't about sex made it easier to hold back his instincts with her. She smelled amazing he would admit that, but it was just easier for some reason this time. They weren't kissing on each other aggressively like they had when he lost control and had to pull away before.
He let her enter the shower first, watching as the water ran over her body. She looked unbelievable and he swallowed hard to resist letting his mind go in different directions.
"You're so beautiful" His voice was gentle and honest.
Bella smiled at him as she ran her hair under the water, once she was done she looked back at him. "I could say the same about you." She moved her hands out to reach for him but he backed away.
Edward sucked in a breath and stepped back when she moved to him. "Not yet." He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to react to her touching him like this so he had to take it slow. After a minute he moved back to her. He lightly placed his hands on her cheeks, sliding them down her neck to rest on her shoulders. She couldn't help but shiver at his touch. He felt more comfortable with him being able to touch her than having her hands on him just yet. This is something he was going to have to get used to. Pulling away again he reached for some shampoo and quickly returned. Wrapping an arm around her waist just enough to where their bodies would not touch one another, he put some shampoo into his free hand around her back as he gave her a light kiss.
Bella felt like she was in heaven. Even though he was barely touching her, she could feel the emotions between them both, in what little he did touch her. She didn't move though, standing very still for him just like he wanted. Her mind wanted her to do otherwise, to pull him to her, making their bodies press against one another. That is until he lightly kissed her and she forgot about her current thought. However without thinking she moved a hand into his hair to make the kiss last longer, not being able to control herself. He obviously lost a little bit of control himself because he willingly returned the kiss just as she was giving it. "Bella" He gasped her name as he pulled away not being able to take it anymore. It took him a few deep breaths before he looked at her again.
She understood and was sorry, he was just so hard to resist sometimes. Her eyes fell shut and her head back as he moved his hands into her hair to wash it for her. This was something he had never done before, but you couldn't tell by how perfect he was at it. Bella didn't move again until he was finished, enjoying every bit of it. Before she could open her eyes she felt a hand move to cup her face and one to place on her hip. His body slowly pressed against her as he kissed down her jaw line. He could not hide the shaking of his body as it was against her.
Bella kept her eyes closed when she felt his amazing touch. There was no way for her to explain the tingles he was sending through her body. She was just as nervous as he was, even more so at the fact she could feel his hard on pressing just below her belly button. Because he was such a gentleman around her she wasn't about to show him any less respect than he would for her.
"Are you ok?" She whispered in his ear.
It really was hard for him to be with her like this. Her smell did not really bother him that much anymore since he had gotten used to it over time. It was the fact he could smell her slight arousal that was driving him crazy. He knew she could feel his hard on against her and was glad she didn't say anything about it.
They were both turned on, but did not let it get the better of them. That was a different type of struggle for Edward, but as long as he kept a clean head it would be ok. He finished kissing her neck and finally made eye contact.
He smiled shyly and shook his head. "I don't know.." He turned them now so he was under the water but still holding her. Groaning he let her go and took in a deep breath, it was getting to be too much for him.
Not in the sense of him hurting her, but that he really wanted her even though he tried to focus his thoughts on something else.
She was enjoying being close to him and was surprised at his sudden moving away. The groan he let out went right between her legs, making her knees weak. "What's wrong?"
"I can't" He made sure he wasn't touching her, which made him feel bad. "I want you too bad." His voice was soft and honest, but could tell he was embarrassed.
"What's so bad about that?" She smiled and pulled him back to her. He instantly tensed in her hands but moved toward her. He stopped her when she wanted him against her chest again. "I can't lose control with you." Bella tried again but he pushed her hands away. She gave him a heartbreaking look of rejection at his actions.
"Bella I'm sorry..." He frowned slightly and reached for her. This time in return she shoved his hands away.
"Why don't you just be yourself for once and stop thinking about all the negative you will cause me? Do you really think you could hurt me like that in an act of love?" She stood there staring at him until he spoke.
"How could I live with myself if for some reason I wasn't able to control the monster within me?" He was serious and his face hard and stern.
She reached up to touch him again and this time he allowed it. "You love me, you are this close to me now and are still able to control yourself. You-" He cut her off by pressing his cold lips against hers lightly.
Going with what she said he was going to just be himself and show her how much he loved her. Not letting the monster win this one.
He was the first to reach his hand around her into the back of her hair to grab a fist full, making the kiss a lot more aggressive. However it was still soft and passionate. Bella pulled away to catch her breath and bring her head back to reality after a moment. Without thinking she instantly returned to his lips. Gripping the back of his hair now as she deepened the kiss and slid her tongue into his mouth.
Edward groaned into her mouth as her tongue slid into his and he nipped at her. He was so turned on and wanted her so bad, but deep in the back of his mind could not help but worry.
"Edward.." She moaned and gripped him tighter.
The shower came to an end after that. Both of their minds not concerned on getting clean anymore. Edward moved to press her against the cool shower tile roughly as he continued to kiss her. That sudden change surprised her and she couldn't help but yelp some when he pushed her against the wall. He instantly tried to pull away, but she wasn't going to allow it, not now. She gripped his hair hard to where it probably would of hurt anyone else and kissed him deeply.
Edward somehow managed to get them out of the shower and onto the bathroom floor before Bella could even open her eyes to realize they were moving.
She felt the cold floor under her and opened her eyes to look at him amazed. He didn't say a word and moved to kiss her again, slowly moving down her neck after leaving her lips.
Bella reached up to run her fingers through his hair as he kissed down her shoulder. His cool lips felt so amazing on her skin, always leaving a trail of goosebumps from the cold touch. She slid her hands down his back making him moan against her skin. He looked up at her and smiled as he took his shaking hand and lightly ran it over her breast. Her chest instantly thrust up toward him wanting more contact. At that he brushed his thumb over her nipple to tease her. He couldn't help but thrust his hips against her leg at how turned on he was. His actions only aroused her more and it hit his nose instantly. driving him to grip her arms kind of hard and let the scent swim around in his head.
Bella gasped at the pain of his grip, it surprising her. "Edward Stop.." It took her a second time to call out to him before he focused back on her. He didn't understand the look on her face at first and it stung him back away from her. Then noticing the marks he had already left on her arms from his grip.
"I'm sorry.." He moved even further away from her almost standing up until she reached for him. "I can't do this." He could not believe he had already lost some of his control and he was barely touching her.
She stopped him by gently grabbing his hand and sitting up. "Wait. Don't go. We don't have to do this if its too much."
He could not explain how turned on he was. Even though he was scared to death of hurting her, he was still hard as a rock.
"Maybe if you let me be the one in control.." Bella looked up at him and smiled. She wasn't sure how she was going to pull that one off, but it was worth a try.
His body only tensed at the thought. That would just drive him even more insane and he was already nervous enough just touching her. He didn't know if he could even let her be in control at this point.
She could pick up something and could tell he wasn't going to give in to that idea. "Or you could just show me. That's not going to take care of itself." He eyes quickly moved to his erection and back up to meet his nervously.
He stopped breathing at her words. Was she really hinting to what he thought she was? She wanted to watch him masturbate?
"What?" He spoke softly with a touch of shock in his voice.
Bella could not help but blush and looked down. "You heard me."