August Rush is an awesome movie and that's all there is to it. (he he he, I love On Demand.)

The usual disclaimer. I wish I owned it, I really do.

As Aang would say, "Now, check this out!"

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Chapter 3

"…Just please…let me go…let me protect you." She pled with them and they couldn't deny her, not when she was right and not after all she'd done and been through in the past few years. Slowly, they all agreed and filed out, except for Willow.

She had left Kennedy taking care of the Potentials, they still needed looking after. Also, she wasn't quite sure how Kennedy fit into the Scooby dynamic yet. She watched Buffy carefully as her best friend and yes, she was still that after all they'd been through, sat defeated in the chair. She'd seen Buffy in some tense situations and some dangerous ones, but she'd never been afraid of her. Even when Buffy had fought her when she'd gone all veiny, she'd known in the back of her head that Buffy was trying to save her in her own way. Buffy's power as the Slayer had always existed to protect others, Willow especially. Angelus and Faith had gone after Willow for a reason. She was Buffy's closest friend and the person she'd leaned on in hard times, at least she had until college. But now her friend was scary and not in an ewww, frog way, but a scary, gonna snap at any moment, way. Willow didn't think that she'd mean to do it, but she had told them that she didn't have full control over her powers right now, especially the rage. And as much as Willow hated to admit it, Buffy had a right to be angry, especially with her.

"I wanted to say it," Willow whispered, breaking the silence and causing Buffy to look up at her.

"Say what?" Buffy rasped out.

"That…t..that I was s.s.s…sor..sorry." Willow rushed forward, afraid Buffy would interrupt and that she would have to stop, because she didn't think she'd be able to start up again. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I've wanted to say it for so long, but I couldn't. 'Cause if I did…I'd have to admit that it was my fault and that I'd done such a horrible…horrible thing and then…then Tara died and I went all wooo," she waved her hands in the air and tears poured down her face. "And the time with the coven was all good and you know, helpful. But then I was back here and the First was happening and everything started snowballing and I still couldn't say it because then I'd be bad and…and I don't…don't," Willow slid to her knees, sobbing, her shoulders heaving. She barely noticed when Buffy got up and very carefully pulled the other girl into her arms. "I don't wanna' be bad, Buffy! I just wanna' be W..Willow again!"

"Shhhh, Shhhh," Buffy comforted her friend, concentrating really hard on not exerting to strength as she pushed Willow's hair out of her face and held her as everything came pouring out of the red-head. They stayed that way for a while until finally Willow pulled back, sniffling.

"I've…hic…got the hiccups now. I always…hic…get them when I cry." She rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes and snuffled some more.

"Go get a drink of water," Buffy told her.

Willow nodded and went to the sink. After gulping a glass down, the hiccups gone, she came back to sit next to Buffy on the floor, leaning her head against the blonde's shoulder. Buffy stayed silent for a moment and then spoke. Willow's honesty deserved a reward.

"I've always been a little jealous of you, you know?"

"Me?!," Willow looked up into Buffy's face, "Buffy, you're my hero!"

"Thank you," Buffy said sincerely. It really meant something to her that the other girl still thought so after all this time. "But you…you've always been better than me." She ignored the Willow's frantic head shaking. "It's true, Wills. Oh, you've got your faults, we all do, but…but it's all easy for you."

"Buffy, I was a total geek before I met you!"

"Silly," Buffy smiled bitterly at her, "That's just high school. I knew the minute I met you that you would go a lot further than any of us. You're so smart, Wills! Things…the things that really matter in the real word, are simple to you. And you're so strong, stronger than even you realize, but I see it all the time."

"Buffy, what are you talking about?" Willow was seriously confuzzled. "You're the strong one. You deal with things I would never be able to. And…and you make friends so easily…and people like you…"

"No, Wills, you still don't get it." Buffy sighed and settled against the couch behind her. "The Slayer stuff, sure, that's easy. Kill this, stake that, stop that Apocolypse, it's simple. But if it weren't for the Slayer stuff, I wouldn't be anything." Willow opened her mouth to protest but Buffy overrode her again. "Face it! I'm…I'm a washed up…cheerleader, for crying out loud! If I hadn't become the Slayer, the best thing I can say about myself is that I would have become simply another Cordelia. Even when I try I can't get half the good grades you get and with the Slayer stuff I just can't do anything normal. High school was…easier for me, even with all the crazy crap…because at least there I could pretend to be normal. It was all so simple there." Buffy whispered mournfully, "I felt like I was at least a little bit in control. I had Giles and Xander and…and…you. There I could at least make believe that I knew what I was doing so that you all wouldn't see the real me."

Willow slumped back on the floor. She'd known that Buffy held things back and that she'd never felt normal, but she'd never known she'd actually felt inferior and to her of all people. I've always known her brash 'I can do everything' attitude was a bit of an act but I didn't really know how deep down it went, she thought to herself.

"Then we all went off to college," Buffy continued, lost in her own memories and not even aware of Willow's wide-eyed look. "I told you the truth at the end of Graduation, you know." Willow gazed at her, uncomprehending. "I do love you, for choosing to stay with me and not go off to some far away college. I knew that I was holding you back, but at the same time I didn't care, because I needed all of you so much. But then college started and my careful little world began to unravel." Her blue eyes met Willow's green ones, "You blossomed, Wills. You were finally free of the constraints that high school held you in and you flew. You became everything I knew you could be, smart and strong and confident. Everything I feared you would become, because now you might see who I really was." Buffy's eyes were dead again. "Oh, I tried to keep up, I really did. I went to classes and I patrolled and I tried desperately to make my life into something semi-normal so I could fit it, but it just didn't work. And you had Oz and then Tara and I wasn't the most important thing in your life anymore, which was how it was supposed to work. I was the Chosen one, not you. I was the one whose life was supposed to be so strange. You guys had just been caught up in it. I wanted you all to have the chance to get away."

"But I didn't want to get away!" Willow yelled, interrupting. "I chose to help, Buffy, you know that! All of us did, me, Giles, Xander, Anya, T...Tara. We just wanted to help! "

"I know, but it was my choice to let you. I let you get dragged back in and look what happened. I died."

"And I chose to bring you back," Willow's eyes were hard. "It was my choice, Buffy. I…I didn't even think for one moment that I wouldn't do it. I don't think I ever even really accepted the fact that you were really dead." My hands are shaking, she thought absently, I wonder when that happened? "I saw your body and I was there when we buried you, but I never really accepted it. I don't think I…I could accept it, because if I did, I would break down completely. I just began researching ways to bring you back. I knew I could do it. I had to. If I didn't…then…then you would be really gone and I WOULDN'T LET YOU BE GONE!" Willow fisted her hands together to stop them from shaking.

"I played it off to the others as if I where bringing you back to help the world, to keep the Hellmouth safe, but that wasn't it. The world could go to…to Hell in a handbasket for all I cared…I just wanted you back. You go on about how you were jealous of me and stuff and how I blossomed or whatever but Buffy, I never would have done any of that stuff without you." I'm angry. How'd I get so angry?

"I was so shy and I had absolutely no confidence in myself. I couldn't even tell Xander about my crush on him. Xander, for Goddess sake! Then this slightly ditzy, very crazy blonde comes into my life. You actually talked to me…like I was a person and everything…like I was worthy of being liked. Do you know how much that meant to me?" Buffy could only shake her head dumbly. "And you did it so easily, like it was the simplest thing in the world. Then you proceed to turn my life upside down with…you know…the vampires and everything…and suddenly I'm out saving the world! I mean, you did most of the saving, but I got to help and stuff…It was just so great. Well, really scary too, but still great."

"Buffy, you're the center of my world. I don't know how it happened and I don't necessarily like it all the time, cause it can be sorta crazy, but that's the way it is. Sure, I've grown and matured and learned things and I've even loved other people, but that's never gonna' change." Slowly a realization began to form in Buffy's mind. "When you went away I made myself believe that you were…were in some Hell Dimension or something…and I bullied everyone, even Tara, into bringing you back. I'm sorry about…about the Heaven thing, cause it really sounded great, but I can't and I…I won't be sorry about you being back in my life. I…I just can't be." As Willow trailed off into a whisper and hid her head in her arms, sobbing, the realization solidified in Buffy's head. I wonder if she even knows, she wondered, or if she's even admitted it to herself.

"I have to go." Buffy whispered brokenly

"But…," Willow's head shot up.

"No, Wills," Buffy held her hand out, it was shaking and her whole body was covered in sweat. "Look at me. I can't even touch people without concentrating so hard I get the shakes. I could crack you like an egg," Buffy whispered hoarsely, trying to make her friend understand. "With just a little pressure, I could break every bone in your body. And the rage, Wills, it's like this little voice in my head telling me to kill everything that gets in my way. I'm not safe enough to even be around my friends, much less some silly newbie Potential who's gonna try and push all my buttons! If I'm lucky, I'll just hurt them. If I'm not…"

"Where are you gonna go?" Willow whispered.

...

Author's Note:

I would first off like to thank all my reviewers and those people who tagged this fic, you guys keep me updating so quick (I rhyme)! I would like to address a few issues before I close, however. To address the angst issue. Yes, there's a lot right now and will be for a few more chapters. There are a lot of things the Scoobies need to deal with, that's how life works. It will be getting lighter though, don't be to afraid. They simply need to vent for a bit.

Also, as Meet-Nightmist (who so cleverly guessed) and I know, there is a couple in this story. If you haven't figured it out by now well...just keep reading, I will bash you over the head with it later. They won't be getting together right away, there is much to do and see before that. This will likely be a lengthy set up and the story isn't going to go the way you think it will (at least I hope not).

Finally, this chapter may upset people. I realize that. But let me make something very clear. I don't think Buffy was just a washed up cheerleader or anything. I just thought that she never really got a chance to develop confidence in anything outside of slaying. I don't think any of them did. That's partially what this fic is about. But, if you wanna be mad at me, that's okay. I'll deal.

OMAKE:

Author- I've just had a major epiphany!

Friend #1- What is it now? -sigh

Author- If I write really fast, people are happy!

Friend #2- Uh huh

Author- And if their happy, they review more!

Friend #2- And?

Author- ...th...that's pretty much it... -smiles ingratiatingly

Friend #1/Friend #2- sigh (SMACK!!)