"Who does he think he is?" rambled Harley as she brushed out the doll's hair, "Jonny doesn't know Mistah J, not at all,"

A large strand of the doll's hair ripped out and stuck in the hair brush.

"Oh my," Harley cringed holding up the plastic hair, "Sorry," she whispered brushing a little more gently, "I outa think of a name for you," she said to the toy, "I'm not very creative though. Not when it comes ta naming things. When I was a little girl all my toys were named obvious things. Ya know like I'd name a teddy bear Bear or a stuffed cat Cat. What a lack of imagination huh? I blame my folks. I'll ask Mistah J, he's so smart he'll think of somethin'. We'll hafta wait though cause he's workin' and I ain't allowed to bothah him,"

She finished with the doll's hair and held her up. The ugly little toy was missing more hair then when she had started brushing it.

She sighed, "I don't know why I'm talkin' ta you. Ya can't even talk back or hear me for that matter. I guess I'm just bored,"

Harley held the doll close and stroked it's hair. She recalled when she was a child. Her over-protective mother and father didn't want her to associate with the other children her age. They said she needed to concentrate on more important things like school and gymnastics. Though she hated how they pushed her and controlled her she would never tell them that. Instead she spent her time alone. She would pace around her bedroom expressing her frustration to a neat pile of plush toys and dolls. It always made her feel better afterwords. That is until her parents decided she was becoming to old for such childish things and took them away.

"I hope Mistah J doesn't do this everyday, I wanna spend time with him. No offense but an actual human to talk to would be nice," she told the doll. "Someday though, Mistah J and I are gonna have real babies. That will be nice, I want a little girl first. And we can bake cookies and play dress up. I can brush her hair and hopefully it won't fall out," she looked at the toy's balding scalp, "And Mistah J will be sucha good Daddy, well he has some aggression problems... but when he gets ovah that he'll be wonderful with our kids," Harley sighed dreamily, "I hope they have his eyes,"

"What about my smiiile," Joker stood in the doorway.

"Hey Mistah J," she bounce up to give him a kiss, "Ya done workin'?"

"Yeah," he looked at the doll, "Why are you uh talking to a doll?"

"I was lonely puddin'," she wrapped her arms around him, "By the way, she needs a name. What should we call her?"

"Definitely Lyle," Mr. J responded

"Why Lyle?"

"I dunno," he shrugged, "Just came to me,"

"Ain't that a boy's name puddin'?" asked Harley.

"No, Lyle's a girl's name,"

After naming Harley's doll Lyle she convinced Mr. J to eat, Harley made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It had been hard to find anything still edible in the apartment. Most of the food left by the previous tenants was expired.

"Can I ask ya somethin' Mistah J?" questioned Harley while making her own sandwich.

"Ya just did puddin'," he pointed out as he ripped his sandwich into bite sized pieces.

She giggled, "Sorry, can I ask you a couple questions?"

"Sure,"

"Do ya have alotta nightmares?" she handed him a napkin.

He shrugged, "Why?"

"Last night ya were freakin' out in ya sleep. Ya had me so worried. I just wondahed what that was all about,"

"Welll, it makes sense I'd have nightmares, I mean my subconcious is bad enough while I'm a-wake," Joker responded.

"Do ya remember what ya were dreamin' about Mistah J?" Harley asked.

He looked sideways at her, "You aren't goin' all Doctor Quinn Medicine Women on me again are ya Harl, be-cause yooou were the one talking to an inanimate object a minute ago,"

"Oh I'm not Mistah J," she shook her head vigorously, "Harley Quinn is way more fun than that boring ole' shrink. I was just wonderin' is all,"

"Oh," he responded eating a piece of sandwich, "I dunno what I was dreamin' about, be-sides I don't wanna talk about. Dreams don't rea-lly mean anything,"

"Okay," she wondered if he was telling the truth but she did not want to question him.

Harley attempted to make casual conversation about things couples usually talked about, "So how was work?"

"Good," he said pushing is pieces of peanut butter and jelly around his plate.

"Are ya gonna ask me how my day was puddin'?" Harley questioned.

"Okay, how was your day darling?"

"Great," she responded enthusiastically, "I looked through some of the apartments and visited Jonny,"

"Did he say anything about my uh, laughing gas?" Joker asked.

"Yep he's working on it. Soo did you come up with any plans today?"

"No, no, I don't make plans," he air quoted plans, "I get ideas and just sorta build on them," he cocked his head to the side explaining, "There's a difference,"

"I see, sorry puddin', did you come up with any ideas?" Harley apologized.

"A few," he shrugged, "See the problem is they're not as much fun if the Bat won't come out and plaa-ay," he pushed his plate aside and leaned forward, "The police have this cr-aaazy idea that Batman killed like five people. But he didn't,"

Harley had never paid much attention to the news or the Batman. She knew he was wanted by the Gotham Police Department but she assumed it was because he was a vigilante.

She leaned forward as well, "Then who did puddin',"

"Haarvey Dent. Or better known as Two-Face,"

"Whadya mean Two-Face?"

"Ya don't watch a whole lotta news do ya babe? Half his face got blown off," he pointed to his own face, "This side. BOOM! Almost completely gone, what was left just looked all crispy and meaty... like bacon," he made a face, "I never told you about him?"

Harley shook her head no.

"Huh, well he was only about the best example of my little uh, theory. Where do I begin," he started, "Harvey Harvey Harvey Dent, he seeeemed so perfect. Ya know, nice guy, important job, good looking. Of course he did have a bit of an ass chin whiiiich always bothered me... aaanyway. Sounds like he had it all together right? WRONG! See I added a lit-tle uh, anarchy into his meaningless life, like myself Harv had to experience some tragedy. Something that would uh, scar him for life," he began to giggle, "Now keep in mind I didn't plan anything, things just sorta played out and in the end my good buddy Harvey had half a face and several pieces of girlfriend," he giggled excitedly.

"What did ya do?"

"That's not important Harley Quinn, the point of the story is any-bod-y can break. Even some one as noble and great as Gotham's White Knight," he explained, "And so after Harvey Dent gave in and became who he truly was all along, he killed a few people," Joker shrugged.

"But how did he die?" Harley questioned.

"Dunno. All I know is he killed over and Batsy took the blame for his murders. Aaand so that's why I'm in this po-sit-ion, Batman can't come get me when the cops are after him. And me minus Batman equals not much fun," he slumped in his chair.

"Aw don't feel bad Mistah J," Harley went to his side and played with his hair, "He'll come,"

Secretly Harley hoped he wouldn't. She didn't want to see Mr. J hurt.

"Yeah, you're right. I just need to do something big, something he can't ignore," he bit his lip in thought, "I think I have an idea,"

According to the Joker Lyle is a girl's name. That whole conversation came from the wonderful Joker Blogs on Youtube. If you've never watched them you should, like right now- no finish my author's note then go look up Joker Blogs, I'd provide a link but I don't feel like it. Besides I don't think they show up correctly on fanfictions. ANYWAY. The guy who plays the Joker does one of the best Dark Knight Joker impressions I've ever seen, besides that whoever writes these things is apparently a genius. So watch em' they are AMAZING! And really a kick ass source of inspiration if you write or draw Harley/Joker stuff.

Doctor Quinn Medicine Women was a show in like the 90's, it took place in the late 1800's and was about a female doctor (hence Dr. Quinn Medicine Women)

I could not for the life of me remember if I brought Harvey Dent up in this or All My Balloons, and since I really didn't feel like reading my fics over again I just went for it. Sorry if I already mentioned him, if I did lemme know so I can rewrite that scene. But I don't think I did.

Sorry if the ass chin offended Eckhart fans. He's still cool ass chin or not, it's just something my sis (im-batman) and I obsess over because we're dorks.

Alright now go watch the Joker Blogs. DO IT!