I know that this chapter is way over due and I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this posted. I've been really busy and then I got sick for three days. So I just haven't had time to write it out. Well here's the third chapter I hope you all enjoy.

Alexa
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All around me everything seems to be closing in. I can feel the darkness getting closer and closer and I can't fight it anymore. There is just so much that I want to do, but I am too scared to do. I wish I could just stop this and just say how I feel. I find it ironic how everyone thinks that I always get what I want and I'm not afraid of getting it by any means necessary. I would really like to talk to someone though, even if it wasn't to Brook that I would end up talking to. My thoughts take over into a dream I know I should not have. I saw her behind closed eyelids, her forest green eyes, and her little smirk. I loved it. I craved her. What I gave myself was never enough, I wanted so much more. I pulled myself away from my dream remembering where I was. I tried to think about how I was going to go about this. There was no turning back now. I think I can trust Peyton...well at least I hope I can because there is no turning back now. She knows about me, but then again I do know something about her. So if she says she's going to say something before I am ready then I can just use it against her.

I was still stuck in the shadows trying to get back to reality. I could hear everything around, but I still couldn't see. I was glad there was no one here to see me faint over a girl. It was so embarrassing. I could now see and that was a relief. I could see Peyton standing over me making sure that I was ok. I tried to get up, but I felt her hand on my shoulders pushing me back down. "Just stay where you are for a minute" she said in a clam voice. I rubbed my eyes a looked up at her. I then felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. I put my hand on the back of head and I found a tender spot. I must have hit my head off of something I thought to myself.

"What happened?" I asked in a serious tone. I couldn't understand what had come over me. It was so weird. I had never fainted before and I didn't plan on doing it again for a very long time.

"You fainted..." She said quietly then paused for a moment. I was still trying to focus in on her face, but it was hard to read her expression. She didn't seem made or disgusted, she just seemed like she didn't care. "You know its ok, right? I'm actually I never noticed it before. Now it just seems so obvious" she exclaimed with a surprised look on her face. It seemed that she was going through every moment in her head and finding small signs that had lead her to what she knows now. I sat up slowly and put my hands in my face. I felt like a child trying to hide from something that actually wasn't there. There was no reason to hide, but still I hid. I felt her come up beside me and she started stroking my hair. I was oddly comforted by this gesture. "You're going to be alright Rachel" she said in a soft quiet voice.

I knew that I couldn't hold the tears back this time. They were stinging my eyes extremely bad now and I couldn't fight it anymore. The tears started falling and I stopped trying to fight them. It was like all my motion was coming out at the same time. I put my face into the crook to Peyton's neck. She didn't say anything, all she did was hold and a repeatedly told me that it was going to be alright. After what seemed like hours I took in a deep breath and wiped my eyes. I could only imagine how horrible I must look right now with my red puffy eyes. Peyton sat there quietly waiting for me to be ready to talk to her. I could tell that she needed to talk to me as well. I opened my mouth a couple of times trying to finally say something, but I couldn't find the words. Peyton finally spoke after the long silence. "Would it help if I went first then? As long as you promise to talk after I'm finished." She said in a sincere voice. I still couldn't seem to find my voice so I simply nodded. Although, I already knew what she was going to tell me I could still tell that she needed to talk to someone. Anyways if she could tell me something then maybe I could get up the courage to talk to her as well. It took her a minute to gather her thoughts and think of how she was going to explain it. "I...well..." She said trying to get her story straight. She took in a deep breath and held it for a moment. She let it out slowly and nodded her head, like she had finally decided what she was going to say. "Rachel, I'm going to need you to promise me something alright?" She said in a calm voice.

"O.k." I answered trying to stay calm.

"Well you see...this is really going to hurt Brooke and I need to make sure that she has someone to take care of here, because I know after today we most likely aren't going to be friends anymore. I just need to make sure that you promise that you are going to be there for her no matter what." She said still trying to put her story together. I rolled my eye just wishing that she would get it over with already. I knew exactly what she was going to say and though it made me mad that she was going to hurt Brooke at the same time it gave me hope. Hope that then she will have more time with me and that maybe...just maybe I can have my dream.

"Of course... I promise." I said quickly. Not realizing how long my thought process was taking. Peyton took in another deep breath before speaking again.

"Well alright then. Well I'm assuming you remember the day of the high school shooting" She said in a serious voice. I rolled my eyes and gave her a weird look.

"Umm no...The one that happened a couple of weeks ago, or that other one?" I said sounding maybe a little too sarcastic. Peyton just rolled her eyes pretending that I had just said yes.

"Well when I was trapped in the library with Lucas...I kissed him...and told him that I loved him. At first though I only thought I had said that because I thought that I was dying, but that's not the case at all. I do love home, but I really don't want to hurt Brooke. I really don't want her to find out about it, but the truth always comes out...right?" she exclaimed. I knew that was a rhetorical question so I didn't speak. "I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want her to find out from someone else. So then I think why don't I just tell her and get it over with, but I know that she's going to hate me afterwards and I wanted to make sure that she would have someone. What do you think I should do?" She said almost too quickly for me to comprehend what she was saying.

"Wow...Give me a second to comprehend that" I said with a blank stare on my face.

I was thinking how this could be good for me somehow. I would have more time with Brooke and maybe I could have what I've been dreaming about. On the other hand she will be extremely hurt by Peyton's now second time going after Lucas, no matter the circumstances. The ideas flew around my head at an immense speed. I went through every possibility trying to see if there was any other way to go about this, so that Brooke wouldn't get hurt. "What does Lucas want to do? I asked in a serious tone. Peyton took a moment to answer. She seemed as deep in thought as I was. "He wants to tell her, but I keep putting it off because I don't want to hurt her." She said in an almost inaudible whisper. Like Brooke was in the same room as us and she didn't want her to hear.

"I agree with Lucas...I think you should tell her because she's going to find out somehow and it will hurt her more if she knows that you had kept it from her." I said trying not to sound like I was pushing her into it. Even though now I wanted desperately for Brooke to find out. The only thing that was holding me back from it was that I didn't want to see her hurting. Peyton seemed to be in her head trying to find a way out of this mess. After a couple minutes of silence Peyton finally spoke.

"You're right. I have to tell her and I can't let this go on any longer." She said as she stood up and headed to the door. At that moment I was relived, but only for a second. Just as she was about to put on her shoes she stopped. "So...you're in love with Brooke?" she said curiously. Damn I thought to myself. I almost thought that I was going to get away without having to talk about this. Well so much for my good luck because it was now all gone. I had never said it out loud and I didn't think that I would even be able to say it now. I knew that there were a million questions going on in Peyton's head right now and I wasn't in any rush to have to answer any of them. The truth was that I didn't even know the answers to most of them because I didn't understand the attraction and the love that I had. I had lost my voice again unable to talk. I nodded and hung my head not wanting to look at Peyton's facial expression.

After a moment though, I looked up. The curiosity had gotten the best of me. She didn't have the expression that I would have thought though. She didn't seem mad or disgusted or even wanting to laugh at the matter. I still couldn't bring myself to say anything to her though. A rush of emotion came over me. I had finally told someone. I could help but to smile although, it was hidden from Peyton by my hair. Peyton came back over towards me and say down beside me. She put her hand on my shoulder and whispered that everything was going to ok. I tried to believe her, but I just couldn't see the silver lining in all of this. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes, but this time I was able to fight them back this time.

"I just don't know how to deal with this, let alone actually talking to Brooke about it. Is it worth it to tell her, then lose her as a friend and not have her at all? I don't think that I could stand to not have her in my life." I said finally feeling comfortable enough to speak out loud.

"I know what you mean. I feel the same way about her, but with Lucas." Peyton said in a calm voice. I never saw it coming, a time when I could possibly be more important to Brooke than Peyton. "I have to tell her. I can't pretend anymore. I'm going to go and call Lucas and we're going to just have to tell her." Peyton said suddenly. I was surprised, but I did not disagree. "Will you be home today for when she comes home? She will need someone to be there for her." Peyton said now talking at a normal volume. I nodded once and Peyton was on her way out the door. She turned back to me just as she was about to leave. "Thanks Rachel. You're a good friend. Good luck later on. Hopefully I can talk to you later if Brooke doesn't kill me that is." She said with a smirk on her face then closed the door behind her.

Once Peyton had left the house I let myself get consumed by my thoughts. Not trying to push them to the back of my mind. The dream that I had from the night before came into my memory and I relived every moment of it over and over again. It was like a drug to me and I couldn't stop myself from overdosing on it. I decided that I would wait from Brooke to come home. She would most likely be a mess and I would get to take care of her. I would get to hold her as she cried and tell her that it's going to be ok and that he wasn't worth it. I didn't really know what I should do as I waited for her. So I decided to put a movie on. I searched through our DVD collection and just randomly picked one. I put it in the DVD player, grabbed a blanket, and sat on the couch. The movie began to play and I realized that I had picked "Kill Bill volume 2". I laughed at this, but watched it anyways. I was extremely tired and fell asleep near the middle of the movie.

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I awoke to my cell phone ringing. It took me a moment to find it in the bunched up blanket around me. "Hello?" I said, unaware of who was on the other end.

"Hey Rachel, it's Peyton...did Brooke come home yet?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"Umm...no, she hasn't come home yet. What happened? Did you tell her? How did she take it?" I asked trying not to get too ahead of myself.

"Whoa...twenty questions much? Well anyways, we told her. She went ballistic. I don't think she's ever planning on talking to either one of ever again. Then she just left suddenly and told us to never speak to her again. So I wanted to make sure that she got home alright. Which now I hear she isn't." There was a short pause before Peyton began to speak again. "Would you be able to go out and try and find her? I'm kind of worried, considering the state she is probably in and she won't answer any of my phone calls." She said starting to sound extremely worried.

"Yeah, of course I will. Do you have any idea where she is?" I asked.

"No Clue, but give me a call when you find her alright?" she said.

"O.k. I will. See ya." I said. I didn't wait for her to say anything. I just shut my phone and got up and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and realized that I didn't look as bad as I had thought I would have. I quickly redid my make-up and hair, changed my clothes and within ten minutes I was out the door to go and look for Brooke. I knew exactly the first place I was going to look.

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Well there you have it...I know it is a bit shorter than the rest but I didn't want to give too much away yet...hope you all enjoyed it...reviews please :)

Alexa