Bella spoke finally once he was driving. "Why don't you want me?"
He just grinned a little. "Cus you're drunk."
She pouted at him. "So, that just means more fun for you."
"Oh really?" He quirked his eyebrow at her finding that amusing.
She nodded and smiled hoping to convince him.
"I rather have you when you will actually remember it and it mean something." He brushed his hand over her cheek, keeping one hand on the wheel.
"Take me Edward." She reached up to take her jacket off and tossed it in the backseat as she turned to face him.
Her words once again won him over for a second. She had power over him she did not realize. "What, right now?"
"When ever you want and however you want." She then went to undo her jeans.
He had to think clearly for both of them and gently placed his hand over hers to stop her. "No, it's not right"
She grabbed his hand and slid one of his fingers into her mouth, enclosing her lips around the base as she sucked slowly.
He swallowed and tried to hide the groan that he obviously had not been able to hold back. Where the hell did she learn to tease like that? He was finding her harder and harder to resist the longer they were in the car.
What she did next made him have to pull the car over. She took his hand that had been in her mouth and slid it into her pants and down over her wetness. She shut her eyes and moaned looking ever so sexy. He bit his lip as he tried to think if letting her have what she wanted would make him feel bad later on. Fuck it.
He pulled his hand from her pants and got out of the car. He went to her side and opened the door, pulling her out and into his arms as he kissed her furiously. She gripped his shirt to keep from falling and kissed him back eagerly wanting his touch.
He pulled away and gasped, making her look at him. "Tell me what you want." He spoke in uneven breaths the more excited he got.
She grinned and tried to look at him clearly without the images spinning. She managed to find his neck and bit hard before teasing his ear and whispered at the same time. "I already told you. I want you to fuck me."
He growled and pulled her head away from him with a fist full of hair. It was hard enough to hurt, but only in a good way. Unlike before when she said those words he knew it was a cute little game of hers and even though she wanted it they both knew the limits. Her mood now was totally different and it was turning him on beyond belief. He had to keep telling himself to be careful, to make sure he did not hurt her or scar her with any actions he may take. She chose the term fuck me over make love to me so that is what she was going to get.
Just like before he pulled her away from him and faced her toward the car. He pressed his body against her back and teased her with his hard on through his pants against her rear. He then kissed on her neck and just for his own sake asked her again. "You sure this is what you want?"
If she had not been drunk she did not think she would of had the courage to act like this normally, but she sure as hell wasn't going to stop him. "Oh God yes." She moaned.
Edward honestly had no idea where this new side of him came from. With the type of gentle romantic he was he never imagined himself to be like this. Even more so with Bella and her judgment clouded by beer.
He could only make sure he kept certain thoughts to himself and only did what he knew she would allow sober.
His hand reached around to her pants once again. Only this time sliding them down along with her damp panties. The smell of her right then was amazing and it was calling to his raging hard on. Once her pants were down to her knees he took his other hand to free himself.
He then roughly forced her to bend down against the hood of his car. The action still remained in his head before when they had left and wanted to try it. He remained careful with her, but left the slight bit of pain to bring her pleasure.
The wave that went through Bella at his chosen position made her curl her fingers against the car. The feel of his breath on the back of her neck when he bent made her thrust back against him, but he quickly grabbed a hip to hold her still. He placed his other hand beside her on the car as he slowly thrust inside her at first. She was so damn tight in that position and he groaned loudly at just the first thrust.
It was right in Bella's ear and she reached behind her to grabbed the back of his head and shake at the sensation. He bit down on her neck as he quickly started a fast pace. Living up to what she wanted and fucked her.
She kept his head near hers enjoying the sounds he was making and how amazing everything felt. She kind of wished she wasn't drunk so she could have a little more power over everything, but was still happy just to lay against his car and take it.
Edward pulled back a little so he could watch as he slid in and out of her, but quickly ditched the idea when he about drove himself over the edge. He wasn't done with her just yet.
In a swift movement he pulled out and turned her over. Lifting her up onto the car as he pulled her pants off the rest of the way. She instantly wrapped her legs around his waist as he slid back inside. He just had to see her face, could not let himself feel like he was using her. He loved her too much to disrespect her like that, even if she was enjoying it.
Her fingers gripped his hair and she kissed him hard, trying to hold herself up. He placed a hand around her back to hold her as he enjoyed her lips and set the same fast pace again. He could feel her body clenching against him and knew she was done at the sexy moan of his name she let out. He kept his hips moving as long as he could and even though he was lost in the moment, he had enough sense in him to pull out of her before he came. He went to reach down to finish himself off, but was stopped by her hand taking over. He did not fight against her action and thrust against her strokes until he was done. His body jerked violently as he came, it having a different feeling than all the other times since his head was in a different place, but still all the amazing.
His head dropped so their foreheads were touching as he continued to hold her up and smiled. She kissed him lightly at that look on his face and enjoyed listening to their heavy breathing and the feeling of satisfaction. "I love you." She spoke softly and he kissed her again before speaking. "I love you too...that was unbelievable..." He cupped her cheek still keeping their heads touching.
"It was better than that." She smiled and layed back so she was spread out over the hood of the car, looking up at the blurry stars she could sorta make out through her vision.
He chuckled and removed his shirt to clean them both up and helped her get her clothes back on. He pulled his own pants up and helped her off the car.
Bella's head began to spin at that movement and when her feet hit the ground she turned her head away from him and threw up. He was taken by surprise but was quickly there to grab her again and move her hair out of the way. Hopefully this was just another reminder of why she shouldn't drink. He felt her body go limp and pulled her closer. "I want to go home." Her voice was groggy and sluggish the worse she started to feel. He went to gently move her, but had to stop when she wasn't finished throwing up.
"Please don't do this in my car." He had to mess with her some at least since he was having to deal with this along with her.
She did not find it amusing since she was in pain. "Shut up."
He laughed softly and pulled her up. Once he got her cleaned off and was sure she was finished for now he got her into the car. He reached around the seat and grabbed a bottle of water for her before shutting the door and getting in himself.
Bella leaned her head against the side of the door and shut her eyes. Even though the sex they just had was amazing, the new pain she felt washed it all away and she sighed in frustration.
He placed a hand on her thigh as he drove, wanting her to know he was there for her.
She had passed out in the car so he had to carry her inside. The floating feeling of her moving like that made her snap back away and feel dizzy again. "No, no, stop right there mister, put me down." He just smiled and set her down on the couch so she was laying. She instantly curled into a ball.
"If you feel sick let me know." He turned to pull up a chair.
"I feel sick..." She sat up and leaned her head over the couch and everything hit the floor. She would not of had time to try and get to a bathroom anyways.
Edward sighed and went to get something to clean the mess up along with a wet cloth. He was able to get everything up pretty quick and brought her a small trash can this time to place on the floor by the sofa.
Preventing that from happening again. He then proceeded to help clean her up once more.
"I'm sorry..." She kept her eyes close as he touched her. The light hurting her eyes and she didn't dare try to focus on anything.
"You should be." He was still disappointed, but was glad the message was getting across to not do it again. At least he could only hope.
"Meanie." She frowned.
He just smiled and kissed her nose while covering her up with the blanket that was on the back of the couch. She was out in no time.
When she awoke the next morning she had no idea where she was at first. The house of course looked familiar, but that wasn't where she normally woke up. The throbbing in her head did not help much either with trying to concentrate. Edward was nowhere to be seen, so she took this time to clean up where she had slept and went to take a shower.
She made sure to take something for her head before she got into the shower. Taking her time to let the warm water fun over her body and relax her. She then began to clean herself up and shave, regretting stepping out into the coldness of the bathroom after she turned the water off and was finished. She took a towel to her hair and wrapped one around her waist while she brushed her teeth. Still feeling groggy and her head hurting she tried to make the best of the day and headed to the room to get dressed. Thats where she found Edward laying on the couch with headphones on listening to music.
He instantly picked up on her sent since he couldn't hear her and pulled the headphones off. "How do you feel?" He smiled and stood up.
"A little better...thank you for everything last night. I made a fool of myself, I know." She talked as she got dressed.
"Everything?" He grinned, just giving her a hard time as he remembered taking her. He hated being a guy sometimes because the slightest thoughts of things like that could effect his body and mind so easily.
She grinned back as she peeked over at him before pulling on some pants. "Yes...even that."
He finally pulled her to him once she was fully dressed. "Please don't drink anymore." He stroked her cheek.
She leaned her head against his hand and looked into his eyes. "I promise."
"Thank you." He kissed her softly.
She quickly pulled away when she heard her phone beep letting her know she had missed calls. Grabbing it off the dresser she had 14 missed calls, 4 text messages and 11 voice mails. That was a jerk back into a reality and something she did not want to deal with. Her mood changed as everything rushed back to her, but reminded her of some things she had to talk to Edward about once she called all these people back.
She gave him an apologizing look as she put the phone to her ear to find out what was going on. Most of the calls were from her mother, some from the police station and also a funeral home. How was she suppose to talk to her mom about this? She knew she would try to get her to move. Not trusting to leave her in Forks 'alone'. Plus she had no idea about how Charlie had been recently either. Sighing and moving to sit down she knew calling her mother would have to come first.
"You need my help with anything?" Edward spoke from across the room where he was sitting on the bed.
Bella turned to face him. "Actually." She put the phone down and went to sit beside him. "They asked me a lot of questions at the school. Your name never came up, but you were there before and after everything happened. I just need to make sure there is no way for them to know you were..."
He wrapped his arm around her and smiled a little. "I don't think they will find anything."
"No finger prints or your blood?" She looked up at him.
He just shook his head. "Because of my skin I don't produce the same types of oils on me like humans. As for the blood...I'm pretty sure the venom in my veins spilled as blood would never be traced as it. If I did leave anything behind they probably wouldn't be able to figure out what it was any how."
"And you are sure of this?" She really did not want him involved or anyone to think he was.
"Yes. Now take care of all that." He pointed at her phone.
She sighed and frowned. "I don't want to..."
He made her look at him and kissed her lovingly. "Everything will be ok." She desperately clung to him as he broke the kiss. Hoping that in some way he would take her fear and pain away. She sniffed and pulled away not letting her emotional wall break. Not before she had to deal with all this. She stood and moved back to the couch as she risked calling her mother.
The ringing in her ear felt like an eternity as a million thoughts racked through her brain. Before she knew it the shrieking of her mothers voice was in her ear calling her name.
"Bella! Sweetie are you ok?! I've been trying to call you all day!" Renee's voice was panicked as she had only gotten the news that night.
"Mom...yeah I'm ok...I guess." She bit her lip at how nervous she was getting.
"They haven't given me any news. What happened? Where are you?" Just like any mother she worried.
Bella swallowed hard as she tried to keep her emotions in check and give her the information she was looking for. "It was suicide...I have a place to stay." She kind of glanced over at Edward before turning her eyes back to her hand playing with a string on her pants.
"Were you there?" She knew that was a horrible question, but she needed to know everything.
Bella tensed a little at the thought. "No."
"Well was he acting different before? Depressed? How did you not notice?" Bella kind of got angry at that and she did not know why. These were the same questions the police had already asked her and wondered why they couldn't of just filled her in.
"I hadn't really been around much..." Sighing she started to feel bad again. Thinking she could of prevented all of this if she had focused more on trying to get him help instead of fearing him.
That confused Renee. "What do you mean?"
"Dad wasn't the person you remember mom." She paused. "He had problems..."
"What aren't you telling me Bella? Did you do something? What do you know?" She got even more worried.
How the hell was this her fault all of a sudden? "I didn't do anything!" She growled. "Charlie was a drunk. I hadn't been living at home to notice or to stop him from his problems. I even tried to come back in hopes he would of stopped. I didn't want this!" She broke then. "I hated him for what he did! I never wanted to see him again!" She had to stop to try and get her crying under control enough to speak. "I tried to be a good person and go back to him. I wanted my father back, but he was the same old Charlie." Taking her free hand she wiped at her tears. "I didn't want him to die mom...I had nothing to do with it or any control over what happened..." She let her head fall into her hand as she leaned against the side of the couch unable to stop her tears.
Edward watched from the other side of the room. He could hear everything Renee was saying so it made it easier to understand her sudden melt down. He stood to go to her, but she put her hand up to stop him. Wanting to deal with it herself.
"Bella..." Renee's voice broke over the other end of the phone. Just as Bella she was unable to hold back her sadness and pain she was feeling for her daughter and Charlie. She had no idea what she was talking about, but figure it was best to try and bring it up later on. "I'm so sorry...We will be there in two days for the funeral. You can come back home with us to Florida and we can get through this."
She was more alert at that. "I'm not going to Florida."
"You are going to stay in Charlie's house? Alone, after everything?"
She shook her head a little and blinked. "No, I'm going to stay where I am now."
Renee once again was confused. "With your friend?"
"Yes mom, everything is worked out."
She would just have to figure everything out when they flew in and could talk to her in person. "Baby please call me if you need anything. I hate not hearing from you and so much as happened and I'm left in the dark. I will see you in two days ok?"
She shut her eyes, that was just one more thing she did not want to deal with. "Ok, I love you."
"I love you too, please be careful." The phone clicked as Renee hung up.
Bella sighed and hung up the phone, tossing it into the floor. There was no way she was going to try and call all the other people back after that.
"Edward..." She looked up and he was instantly at her side to hold her. She clung to him once again.
She continued to cry and pulled him closer to her for a kiss. Some sort of more contact even though it made him feel slightly off she was doing that in the mix of her emotions. He could not deny her and tried to wipe away some tears with his thumbs as he held her face and kissed her back. She pulled away first, still with fresh tears continuing to fall as she tried to speak.
"I need to feel you..." Her voice cracked through her sobs and she eagerly pulled on him as if it was going to make her even closer. She once again desperately claimed his lips with hers trying to find some cure for her pain. He had to pull away when everything turned in a direction he wasn't expecting. He gently grabbed her hands to keep them from trying to undo his shirt and tried to talk to her.
"Bella, this isn't going to take the pain away..." He hated telling her that since he wanted to take her pain.
"I have to feel you...Know you are there...feel you inside me and everywhere around me...I don't want to be alone." The sadness on her face and in her voice killed him and he once again tried to make her tears go away with his hands.
"Sweetie I'm right here. I would never leave you." He was having trouble speaking then at how upset he was getting.
"Edward please...Make the pain go away." She cried to him for help and wanted him in all the wrong ways. The last thought she had still lingering in her mind from the night where she felt happiness and that was all that she wanted again. In her battle of emotions it was hard for her to think straight anyways and only did it on instinct. A part of her mind still twisted with everything else was allowing her to know thats where she felt no pain. Her hands found her own clothes now and she helplessly tore at them since he wasn't allowing her to his.
"Bella, stop..." He had to use a little bit of force to get her to listen. He hated her cry for him since he knew he wasn't going to be able to help like she wanted. He took her hands and kissed them both each in turn and made her look at him while still holding them. "This isn't what you want." He pulled on her until she was against his chest and his arms instantly wrapped around her. "I love you and will be here for you through all of this. What ever you want that I can give, you can have, just not this. Not until it's for the right reason." He was used to not being able to refuse what she wanted, but he just couldn't allow himself to do that. Not with her in the state she was.
Bella started to calm down as she listened. No longer trying to force him into something he didn't want.
She just sat there against him silently, trying to only think of him. At how happy he made her and everything he has done.
"I don't want to go." She spoke quietly once her mind wandered in a different direction.
He looked at her, not sure what she was talking about. "Go where?"
"The funeral." She sighed. "I don't want those to be the last memories I have of him and I don't want to talk to Renee..." She knew that sounded bad, but this toll was on her more than anyone else because she felt like it was her fault in some way.
He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "That would be up to you. I can't make you go...well I'm sure I could, but I'm not going to." He smiled a little, just trying to get her in a better mood.
She smiled for him, but then got serious again. "Why do you put up with me? Since day one of meeting you I have done nothing but cause you problems." That really was the truth in her eyes. If he saw it differently she thought he was crazy. It was the first time she ever thought of him like that without thinking of how she would feel without him. "Maybe me going to Florida would be better..." She turned her head away from him when his body tensed under her and she could hear his breathing stop. She didn't dare look up to see his face.
"Is that what you want?" He tried to paint a picture that wasn't there because she could clearly feel how hurt he was by the idea even though he was trying to hide it so well.
"I wouldn't be able to make things more difficult for yo-" He cut her off before she could finish.
"You don't." He made her look at him then her words were causing him too much pain to hold up his act any longer. "Why do you suddenly want this?"
She looked at him even though she did not want to. The look on his face made it harder to keep her current train of thought. "I don't. I just don't want to hurt you anymore."
"And you don't think when you talk like this it doesn't hurt?" he let her go then to stand and run a hand through his hair.
"Is your life really all that much better with you here having to deal with all this because of me? I've put your family at risk so many times. I've put the school at risk because you want to protect me so badly that you had thoughts and urges to kill people that you didn't before I came around. I feel like I'm constantly hurting you with all my emotional delusions I can't seem to keep under control. I have problems." She watched him stand in the corner of the room as she talked. It would kill her to not be with him, but she hated having pulled him into everything with her crazy life. It broke her heart to hear about how he was struggling with his own emotions and cravings because of her.
"Stop it!" His yell made her jump and he placed his hands over his face and again ran them through his hair. The sight she took in next made her gasp slightly. He was actually crying. For the first time in his life since a vampire he had his own tears running down his face. He made no note of it as he tried to put all this together. "Bella, I rather go through hell and back with you by my side than to lose you and be alone again. I waited so long for you. I'm prepared to deal with what ever comes next." It was funny that when he had thoughts of leaving for the better it did not hurt him this bad. The fact she was now having the thoughts completely broke him.
"Edward..." She got up to go to him. "I just didn't want to hurt you anymore."
"Then don't say things like that." His stare was intense and he got the point across. His eyes had turned a green color sometime during his emotional turn. "I would never force you to stay with me if you were unhappy, but don't ever think that you being with me causes me pain."
"I'm sorry." She got up then to go to him much like he always had her. Thankfully he didn't refuse her and she pulled him into her embrace.
"Look what you've turned me into." He chuckled a little and sniffed, unbelieving his current actions. He had no idea how it was possible, but didn't care then. All he wanted was her touch and he got it.
She held onto him and apologized countless times for feeling so cold hearted and be blinded from the truth. "Didn't you say when you were human your eyes were green?"