Harley felt something on her face, something cold with a slight wet feeling across her skin. She blinked her eyes opened, squinting at the sun shining through the now opened window. Joker straddled her, screwing the top back onto a container of black face paint. He was dressed again, with his purple trench coat and fresh greasepaint across his face.
"Mistah J?" Harley said confused, she touched the side of her face feeling the wet paint on her skin.
"Morning, beautiful," he opened some bright red grease paint, "Go like this, " he told Harley while puckering his lips to demonstrate.
She obeyed sticking out her pink lips. Joker smeared a glob of red paint across them before wiping the excess make up onto the bed.
"All done," he climbed out of bed and straighted his vest.
"Thanks for doin' my make up puddin'," she rubbed her top lip and bottom lip across each other distributing the red paint more evenly, "Why'd ya do that. Are we goin' somewhere?" she sat up.
"You guessed is Harl," he said cheerfully.
Harley felt relieved that he was in a better mood.
"We're going on a trip to the police station," he pulled a can of laughing gas out of his trench coat pocket and waved it around.
"Oh goodie," Harley clapped, "Lemme get dressed,"
She hoped out of bed to get some black and red clothing out of the closet.
"I'll be waiting in the van," called Joker as he headed out the door.
Harley hastily grabbed a pair of shorts, a tank top and a pair of tights with black and red harlequin diamonds on them. After sliding on a pair of mismatched shoes, a red one and a black one, she grabbed two hair ties and put her hair into pig tails. Then full of excitement she hurried towards the door. She was so happy to go out with Mr. J again. Harley Quinn had worried that the party incident may have kept her from going to work with Joker again. She was glad it hadn't. As wrong as she knew it was, she just loved to watch him work. He was so smart. Harley knew she should not feel that way, after all her goal was to eventually lead a normal, happy life with Mr. J. But slowly that was fading, she began to think less about the future and more about present. Focusing on what fun things she and Mr. J could do at one particular moment.
His lifestyle was definitely beginning to grow on her. She was no longer following a daily routine of eating or sleeping, much like Mr. J. Everything came randomly, when she felt like it. As unhealthy as it was she felt surprisingly good most of the time. Harley Quinn liked not being at the mercy of a schedule, she did not know how she ever lived under one before.
Harley went outside and hopped in the van beside Jonathan, who was looking very distressed, "You okay Jonny?" she asked.
"Yes... no," he rubbed his temples, "Joker are you sure we should do this now?"
Joker, who was sitting behind he and Harley replied, "Yeah," he shrugged "Why not? Don't worry it'll be fun,"
Before long the van was packed with henchmen, along with all the weapons and supplies they needed. Then they pulled out if the apartment complex's parking lot and headed for the Gotham City police station.
Jonathan's head was spinning, a lack of sleep, hallucinations and the strong possibility that he was going to die weighed heavily on his thoughts. On the other hand Scarecrow was overjoyed by their little outing. Even if it was not his fear toxin or the Scarecrow causing the fear he was still pleased by the situation. It had been months since he had experienced someone else's fear. He tired to tell Jonathan to stop worrying so much and just enjoy, but the former doctor was losing it and fast. He had no idea how he was going to document the effects of the laughing gas when he was to busy fighting off imaginary birds.
"Why are we doing this during the day?" Jonathan covered his eyes trying to block out the hallcinatuons swirling around him.
"I felt like it. Besides, it doesn't reeeally matter if it's day or night. We are doing this in the police station, ya know, we've got the same chance of getting and or sent to Arkham as we could at night," he clicked his tongue.
"Is that what's wrong, ya nervous about going back ta Arkham?" Harley stroked his hair comfortingly.
Joker noticing the attention she was giving to Jonathan spoke up, "Hey Harl,"
"Yeah Mistah J?" she turbed around in her seat.
"Would you sit with me?"
Harley eyed the two henchmen sitting on either side of Mr. J, "Well I would but there ain't enough room,"
"Yes there is," Joker protested, Harley glanced at Jonathan, "He's fine sit with me," the clown insisted with some frustration in his voice.
"Okay," Harley climbed over the back of the seat and landed in Joker's lap.
"Much better," he smiled, looking towards Jonathan, "Oh Harley, I almost forgot," he reached into his trench coat pocket and pulled out a shiny, silver revolver, "You'll need this. Now you pro-bably won't kill anyone today, it's just meant to uh, intimidate. Same thing as Wayne's party,"
Harley nodded and took the weapon in her hands.
Joker smiled at her, running his fingers on the diamond pattern of her tights. He liked the way she looked with that gun, a little to much. He broke his gaze, trying to focus on the task ahead of him. He wished Harley wasn't making it so damn hard to concentrate.
"Hey Chuckles," he called to the henchman driving the van, "Go a little faster, I told Mime we'd be there by ten,"
Meanwhile at the police station, Mime was wearing the uniform of the cop that the Joker had recently killed. No one had recognized that he did not really work there. The police in Gotham came and went very quickly, for obvious reasons. It was not uncommon for most of them not to be familiar with their own co-workers.
The disguised henchman watched the clock, five minutes until ten. After waiting a few more minutes he decided to get things started, Joker would be here soon. He took out a hand gun strapped to his belt and cocked it.
The while holding it in the air he said, "Nobody move," in a calm voice.
Everyone stopped and looked towards Mime. Commissioner Gordon came out of his office, "What is going on here officer?" he asked frustrated.
"I said don't move," Mime repeated himself pointing his gun towards the Commissioner, "And while all you mutha fuckers are at it, get your hands up. I don't wanna see nobody pullin' a gun on me either. In fact why don't ya'll toss em on the floor over here. Any bitch that don't do what I say gets a hole in their head. We clear?" he spoke with authority, "Move it people, my boss'll be here any second and he ain't gonna take no shit, now, c'mon," Mime said after no one made a move to give up their guns, he looked towards Gordon, "I will start shootin'," he threatened.
The police commsionr took a deep breath, "Let's do what he says," he ordered trying to think of a way to gain control and not lose any men, "Who's your boss?" he said sliding the gun towards Mime as the other police followed his lead .
The henchman stopped the weapon with one foot, "You know him commissioner,"
With almost perfect time clowns flooded into the police station, shoving sawed off shotguns and rifles into the policemen and women's faces.
"Everybody on your knees now!" yelled Mime.
"Gooood morning Gotham PD," a familiar voice greeted.
Commissioner Gordon watched as the crowd of masked henchmen dissipate revealing the Joker standing in the doorway. Harley Quinn was by his side, the Joker's arm wrapped tightly around her waist. This was the first time Jim Gordon had ever seen her up close. It was clear to see she was the Joker's girl, and not just because of the face paint and brightly colored hair. She was completely disheveled, hair messed up and uneven. Gordon noticed stitches, cuts and bruises littering her arms. The skin across her neck and chest was decorated with purple bruises as well, along with what appeared to be burn marks. And yet with all her out ward signs of physical abuse the young woman wore a wide smile across her painted lips and a look of admiration in her eyes as she stared lovingly up at the clown.
The Commissioner then noticed a figure standing behind the couple, Jonathan Crane. He had thought he had seen the last of him after Batman turned him over to the police for the second time. The former doctor seemed to be doing well in Arkham, why would he want to team up with Joker? Whatever the reason Crane did not look happy to be there. He seemed shaky and looked pale as he clutched a notebook and a pen to his chest, staring intently at the floor.
"Great," Gordon said under his breath.
Joker leaned over towards Harley at his side, "Why don't you pick out a policeman and stick your knew gun in his face, kay sweetie?"
"Allrighty Mistah J," she happily bounced over to a police officer nearest to her, "Hi I'm Harley," she introduced herself cheerfully as she aimed the loaded gun at him.
She turned around and blew the clown a kiss.
Joker looked across the room, "I must say I'm impressed," he began, "I was expecting at least a lit-tle bit of a fight out of you guys. But look at you, just sitting there, waiting patiently, unarmed," he licked his lips, "But of course probably half of you uh, boys in blue work for the mob in your spare time huh?"
"What exactly do you want Joker?" the Commissioner asked.
"Shut up," Mime pressed his hand gun against Gordon's temple.
"No, no Mime it's alright," Joker said, "I'm happy to answer aaall of little Jimmy's questions," he walked towards him and knelt in front of him, "What was that again Jim-bo?"
Gordon sighed, "What do you want?"
"Hmm," Joker bit his lip in thought, "It's not that I reeealy want anything... But I do have a complaint," his tongue darted across the corners of his painted mouth, "It's ab-out the Bat-man," he said the vigilante's name slowly and carefully, "See, ever since you and your little uh, team here decided to act-ually enforce the laws against being a vigilante I seem to have a looot less play time with Batman. Aaand obviously I'm not happy about it-uh,"
Part of Commissioner Gordon was not surprised that the Joker would come to him with something like this. He was no physcologist but it was clear to see the man was not right. He had a warped vision of the world and in it he obviously needed a Batman. He had not spent much time physco analyzing the clown but Gordon had gathered that much.
Gordon muttered his usual line about the Batman and how it was his duty to in force the laws against vigilantism in Gotham, trying to sound as though he actually believed it.
"Yeah," Joker began, "But I don't think Bats is a criminal I mean he-," he stopped short.
The clown had an amazing ability to read people. He could see right through Commissioner Gordon's obviously rerersed explanation. He cocked his head to one side and squinted. Then a smirk spread across his scarred face.
"Ya know Commissioner... you uh, you don't seem to convinced to me," he lowered his voice.
"I don't know what your talking about," Gordon avoided his eyes.
Joker nodded, "I think you do," he whispered, "Don't feel guilty about it. I consider myself pro-Batman," he smiled smugly, "In fact, that just may have saved your life Gordo," the clown stood up.
"What do you mean? What are you going to do?" he asked angrily.
"Shhhh," Joker hushed, "You'll spoil the surprise,"
I have no idea if that was at all realistic but I've never tried holding up a police station sooooo..... yeah. But I figured in Gotham it wouldn't be hard since all the cops are corrupt, working for the mob and looking out for themselves, so they'd do as they were told and hope their ties to the mafia would save them.