Disclaimer: Look at all the pretty pictures, wheeeee! (no idea what i'm doing lately)

Chapter 27

"It's not a dream" Buffy affirmed. She paused to gather her thoughts and her words. This was a delicate situation and regardless of the Wiccan's age, Willow still seemed to be insecure when it came to desirability. Bracing herself, she continued, "I guess it does seem kinda fast what with the me being gone and the uh, kiss at your bedroom door." She smiled warmly and took Willow's hand back.

"A little, yeah," Willow admitted, enjoying the comfort of her friends touch. She scooched into her friend's right side and was more than a little surprised as a familiar arm wrapped around her shoulders pulling her closer.

The slayer started again, her voice hushed as she tried to explain, "I guess you might have noticed my density about the love thing. You can sorta look at my past relationships and see the neon danger sign."

The witch hesitated, hating to address this issue, but knowing it needed to be done. They had to clear up the past if they were ever going to go anywhere with this…whatever this was. She knew that Buffy, just like her, had major issues when it came to love. They were something the witch realized she had to understand for herself.

"Tell me what you mean, Buffy."

"I-I," Buffy shifted and looked down at her hands, clenching and unclenching them, "I've never really fallen in love before. It's always been more of a 'jump screaming off the side of a cliff' sorta thing. There was no normal. No real possibility of a future. I had to be 'in the moment' girl and be satisfied with that."

"I loved Angel; I still do in my own way. Being with him got me through some very tough times. It was what I needed then. Who knows what would have happened if we'd stayed together. But we didn't, we couldn't, and we both knew it. No matter what we might've promised. He went on with his life, such as it was," The slayer frowned in and shook her head. "I went on with mine. During that time though, we both changed. A lot."

"The last time I saw him I told him that I wasn't ready for a real relationship. I hadn't grown up enough and that was true. No matter how you look at it, Angel was the adult between the two of us. We weren't really equals and that's important."

"What about now?" Willow asked. "If he suddenly came back?"

Buffy gave the question the thought it deserved and then smiled gently at Willow. She had made her peace with this a long time ago. "It still couldn't happen. Our paths would still be different. Even if he got his human thing on, it wouldn't matter. I'm the one that's different now. I've finally grown up a little, finally realized a few things. Angel taught me a lot, but he's not the one meant for me."

"Alright," Willow nodded, content with the explanation for now.

"So, that was Angel. Riley, it was just the reverse with him. I was the grown up and he was the kid. His leaving was probably for the best. I liked him, but what I liked about him was that he was there to lean on in a bad situation. He deserved better than that."

He wasn't as strong as you, Willow thought to herself. Then she took a deep breath and moved onto a topic that had bothered her for a while. "And Spike?"

"Hmmm, how to explain Spike?" Buffy mused, tipping her head back and gazing at the ceiling. "Spike was a little bit of everything, I think. Rebellion, control, safety, danger, all rolled up into one blond-haired package. He needed me. Not to be the Slayer or his caretaker or…whatever, but just to be me. At least I thought so at the time. Everyone around me wanted to take. He seemed to be the only one wanting to give."

"We wanted to help, too." Willow protested, her eyes widening. "We tried…"

"I can see that now, Will," Buffy assured her, "But at the time we were all so messed up that none of us could see anything. What you saw as trying to help, I saw as pressure to go back to normal and ignore what had happened."

"That…may have been a little true," Willow deflated with a frown and a familiar crinkle between her brows. "We were all feeling guilty, still do. Especially about…leaving you in your grave like that. I suppose we just wanted to cover it up and go on. But you didn't seem to want to talk about it. You went clamy, bottle up girl on us. We swept it under the rug; we swept just like everything else." Her voice barely a whisper Willow pressed down regret from that year and struggled forward, "I just – I wanted you to talk to me so bad."

"Spike – Will, it was easier. There wasn't history, well there was, but not like our history. He was an escape, an outsider. He was also annoyingly right at the end. I wasn't in love with him. I just loved what he provided." Buffy shifted uncomfortably on the mat, it was still hard for her to talk about all this stuff. "That's been true for pretty much every hook-up I've had. I liked what they provided me. That's not what loving a person should be about though. You should love a person for who they are, good and bad. Not what they can give you."

She ran her free hand through her hair and sighed. "So now, it's…with the dense. I didn't realize 'till we were at the hotel." She looked pointedly at Willow and noticed the blush creep up her friends face.

Willow was silent, a little stunned that her friend had figured it all out. Buffy was known for her observational skills, but they usually involved demons and killing things. She wasn't so much with the heart to heart stuff. Of course, Willow thought to herself remembering the scene in the hotel, you did practically blubber all over her.

"It took me a long time to admit it," Willow told the slayer. It was time to lay it all on the line. It had all been bottled up for so long that it was almost a relief to share it with Buffy. "Even to myself. My parents might be scientists, but they're still conservative. The word gay wasn't really even mentioned in the household. Then, when I finally admitted that I could feel that way about a girl, I had Tara…"

"Did she..?" Buffy questioned.

"Oh yeah," Willow grinned, "There wasn't much that got by Tara. She actually brought it up once, or tried to, when we were fighting in the end. I didn't want to hear it, so I just denied. I-I didn't think there was any chance of anything ever coming of it. I had Tara, was scared that you'd hate me, so making with the ignory just seemed easier."

"It was my teacher that helped me realize it was…okay to love you and Tara both. That I didn't love either of you less, just different." Willow whispered, swiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "I loved Tara and Oz and even Kennedy in her own way, but they were never you, Buffy. I loved you first and I'll probably love you till the day I die." Willow smiled a watery smile at the slayer, trying to hold back more tears. "No matter how much I sometimes want to smack you for being a stubborn, snarly poophead."

Buffy laughed, only Willow could declare her love in such a way. "Thanks Will."

"Ohhhh, you know what I mean," the witch blushed cutely.

"Yeah, I get it," chortling under her breath, Buffy finally calmed down and continued with her story. It was turning out to be not nearly as completely nerve-wracking as she'd thought it would be.

"'Kay, so…yeah, back to the question. I had to do a lot of thinking out there and one of the things that kept going through my head was how could I not've noticed you were in love with me? When did it happen? And most important, how did I feel about it?"

"I'm guessing by your scrunched up expression that it's the last one that concerns you most?" Buffy stated wryly as Willow blushed wildly again and nodded. "I figured. I can't say it was an immediate, bolt out of the blue, kinda revelationy sitch. More like a gradual thingy. I didn't hate you or anything. That was the furthest thing from my mind. In fact, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy."

"Too warm and fuzzy, if you know what I mean." The slayer's grin was more of an embarrassed admission causing Willow to flush again. "Course then I had to figure out the why of that. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that not only was I okay with you loving me, I liked it."

"Buffy, are you…I mean…you've never…," Willow couldn't seem to get the words out of her mouth. "With the girls…"

"What, you think I'm completely straight?" Buffy raised an eyebrow at Willow.

"Well, aren't you?" The witch was flabbergasted. Come to think of it, they had never really addressed the subject. Willow had just assumed.

"I admit I usually look at guys first," Buffy said, "but that doesn't mean I've never fantasized about girls before."

"Really?" Willow felt her eyes bug out.

"Jeez, you'd think I just admitted to killing a president or something," Buffy whined.

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but you have just turned my whole world up on it's wacky little head. I honestly never pictured…" Willow stopped as a thought occurred and she squinted her eyes and gulped. "Wait, when you say fantasies…?"

Buffy's cheeks got pink and she looked up at the ceiling, smiling an innocent grin.

"Oh my god, you did! Me?!"

"What'd you expect," Buffy sputtered, "We slept in the same room for a year, and there were all those sleep-over's. It was bound to happen."

"Why didn't you ever do anything?" Willow asked. She was fascinated now. She knew Buffy was a lot bolder than she when it came to the love stuff.

"You were my friend," Buffy offered a shrug and a shy smile. "I'd never really had a girlfriend. Not a real one. Sure, I'd had the pack of Cordelias that I'd hung out with before, but they weren't real friends. They weren't people I could talk to about anything important. You were my friend," she repeated, almost to herself, "and back then I needed a friend so badly that there was no way I was going to try and mess it up."

"Oh Buffy," Willow leaned forward and pulled Buffy into her arms. She rested her chin atop Buffy's crown as the blond settled against Willow's chest.

...................Unknown Location, Unknown Time

Savoring the look of terror in the young girl's eyes Titus leaned in to brush the lock of hair that had fallen forward into her face. Sniffing, a look of ecstasy came over his face as he took in the full bouquet of her fear and terror.

"You smell so good," he crooned and his face morphed, causing the girls to cringe back and whimper.

"Titus!"

A sharp voice cracked out. The rail thin vampire jumped back, his face falling back to normal and he began wringing his hands together.

"You know what I said about touching them!"

"I know, Zeak, I-I know," Titus stuttered and turned to look up at his brother. Zeak looked down on him with fury from the catwalk where he stood. From there, he could see the warehouse spread out beneath him and his stupid brother as he almost killed off the merchandise.

"Then you remember how important it is that we keep them intact."

"But-But their all so pretty," Titus whined and began biting at his already ragged thumb nail. "C-Can't I just have one? We won't miss just one."

"No!" Zeak glared at his brother to make sure he got the idea seared into his tiny little brain. "We had to speed up the plan, so we almost didn't get as many as we needed. That means they're all essential. Now get them loaded up. The others are already on the move. We have a schedule to keep."

"Yes, brother," Titus groveled, glancing at the cowering girl out of the corner of his eye.

"And Titus," Zeak's voice intruded on his fantasy. "If I found out that you've tasted even one, I'll kill you myself. This plan is too important to screw up. One wrong step and we could destroy the world. I don't want it destroyed. I just want to rule it."

.................

Author's note:

Duhm! Duhm! Duhm! The tension mounts. Will our brave author be alive to write the next chapter or will she be overrun by the hoards of screaming fans out for her blood because she left them hanging, again.

Okay, maybe I was overstating with the hoards, but I know you're out there still. I keep getting reviews and stuff so I keep on soldiering on. We're gettin' down to the wire here and Buffy and the rest are starting to work things out, but there's still stuff to take care of. As any good author would tell you, a story is a good catharsis for one's own life. You may take that as you will.

Hello, Pegasus! (small wave)

Omake:

Willow- Buffy, about those fantasies...

Buffy- yeah?

Willow- You said that you fantasized about girls...plural, so it wasn't just me...who were the other ones?

Buffy- mutters under breath- you would catch that, wouldn't you?

Willow- What?

Buffy- loudly - I'm sorry, Will. I got a twinge on the ole' radar. I gotta' go kill...somethin'.

Willow- grimly - You can run, but you can't hide, Slayer.