Chapter 5
Author's Note: First I'm sending a big hug to Rach of course, thanks dear! And another hug to each of you, my faithful reviewers: Kristi-Julie, Vluy, One Special Lana, bluegirl-783, Firing Rockets on Dragons, AlternativeRocker, risingdancer and my Ursa. Thanks girls!
"Have you… have you seen Joseph somewhere?" asked Clarisse clearing her throat as the last member of the council finally left her office.
"Yes, Your Majesty," Charlotte answered, looking up from her notebook. "He has already left the palace. I even saw his car a few minutes ago, leaving the north gate."
"Oh… I see," was Clarisse's short and disappointed answer, while she walked across the room and now looked out of the window. It was ridiculous but she hoped… maybe she could get a glance of his car. She knew he had gone minutes ago, but still… "Do you know where he was going?" asked Clarisse, then quickly continued. "Just because he did not mention anything about it. Just asked for a few weeks off and…you know."
"Of course." Charlotte tried to pretend that she had absolutely no idea about what's going on here. "He is not too talkative, but I think he mentioned he would go home, I mean to his house on the beach."
"Really?" Clarisse felt relief, but she could not give reason for it. "The beach is beautiful this time of the year, and he always works hard, so he really needs a holiday sometimes."
"Very true, Your Majesty." Charlotte smiled softly.
"I think that's all Charlotte, thank you."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
As the door closed behind her assistant, Clarisse still stood there at the window. So he was gone…
It was strange, but she did not feel what she would have expected. She thought she will be relieved, somehow relaxed, but the only thing she felt was… she did not know what she felt, maybe a mixture of emptiness, fear and desperation, but she would have felt more! At least a slight good feeling, but nothing… It was not good. Nothing was good actually. But she knew she had to concentrate, she had to breathe normally, until this panic faded away… at least she hoped it would fade away.
Her first plan to combat her misery was a refreshing walk outside, maybe the flower scent and the colors of her garden would ease her nerves, but it was completely useless. Useless the same way as swimming in the pool, doing some embroidery, riding in the woods, reading a book from her favorite author and she even tried watching TV-what was really not her kind of thing-… but it was all the same.
She could not find her place. Her last desperate try was work therapy, but it was even worse than the others, because she really would have to concentrate this time, but after she made the same mistake for the third time, she gave it up and went to sleep instead.
Fortunately sleeping was relaxing, actually the only thing what could ease her exhausted mind, so running away from the real world seemed a good solution. First she slept as if someone had hit hear on the head, but after a while she started dreaming…
It was not a fantasy, neither something from her past… she was dreaming about the future, her future. She could not explain it, only knew it was a picture from her future.
In her dream she was lying on a towel on the beach, reading some magazine after swimming, while she enjoyed the warm light of the sun. But the sun was not the only warm feeling on her body, the other and much better thing was Joseph's hand. He just rested his arm on her back, then unknowingly started stroking her waist…
And that was the part when she always woke up with a smile on her face…
Her days were hectic and tiring, tiring about running away from her thoughts, while her sleep was full of pleasure and ease as she was lying there on the beach, knowing that everything was perfect… because he was there for her.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
She knew she needed him… yes, it was quite clear to her, but accepting it was awfully hard. This duplicity between her days and nights were tiring and relaxing at the same time. Tiring, because she often had mood swings, but also relaxing because of her sweet dreams and… and that was the most important thing, she could think. While she was with Joseph she was too busy resisting him, resisting his effect, she only protected herself and thinking was a luxury. But this time, when she was alone she could live through all of her feelings, good and bad, and it helped a lot. Not solving her problems, but making things clear… like she missed him. She missed him terribly. Not feeling him next to her, not touching him, not smelling him, not hearing him was killing her slowly and softly. But at least it was clear that not being with him would kill her sooner than any gossip or scandal about being with him. She needed to see him, just take a glance at him in secret… immediately.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The weather was not gracious to her, the rain had started falling just after she left the palace…on foot. Or it was? Because of the stormy weather Clarisse could avoid the guards' attention, so after a few minutes she was already walking on the beach. It was not far away, but on the other hand it was long. Walking on the wet sand was hard, but she needed to get close to him desperately, so she continued her way without stopping, while the rain soaked her cloths and hair, but she did not care. She just needed to see him…
After nearly half hour of walking she finally caught sight of the lights from his window. Her heart was racing crazily as she came closer and closer to the house. Inside the room everything was bathed in light, giving a cozy feeling to everything. She could see the living room and even a part of the kitchen from where she was standing, and as she looked to the kitchen's direction she finally saw him… She was sticking to the cold window, soaking in the rain, and watching him living his life…it simply made her cry.
Seeing what she would miss broke her heart to pieces. Her hands were shaking while her sobbing became free now and that's why it caught Joseph's attention. He suddenly realized that someone is outside, and he knew it was her.
He immediately ran out, came round the house and now he was standing there face to face with her…
To be continued…