KK,
Here's the 'Girl power' episode.
Sokka's perspective for girls is not what feminists want... and they are more serious than portrayed in the show…..
X( well, there went my values.
…..
Sokka: Ah! Here we are Aang! Kyoshi Island! Home to the hottest Hookers in the entire earth kingdom!
Aang: Oh boy! I can't wait to lose my virginity!
Momo: Perverts. This aint the way a gangsta rolls ya know what I'm sayin A-man?
Appa: Yes, indubitably, my primate chum!
Momo: YO! What that ova up in thur? ( points out into the ocean)
( you see Katara riding on the huge Unagi)
Katara: GRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!
Sokka: Oh ( bleep)
Aang: RUN SOKKA! RUN TO THE WHORE-HOUSE!
(they run to the Kyoshi do-jo, or whateva)
Sokka: holy… crap… look at all of these prostitutes!
Suki: What the hell man! We aren't prostitutes, we are Kyoshi warriors!
Sokka: Yeah, right, then explain the hooker makeup!
Suki: ( cracks Sokka's arm)
Aang: This is really turning me on!
Kyoshi warriors: We will kill you.
Kyoshi Mayor Dude: (GASP!) What's going on! You can't mess around with my bitches!
Suki: HEY! We are NOT your bitches!
Kyoshi Mayor Dude: Sorry girls, I just got through with my 100 year old southern air temple porn. I'm a little… how you say… whacked up at the moment.
Aang: Hey that was MY porn!
Suki: Impossible, no one has been at the Southern Air Temple to get horny for 100 years!
Aang: Well, I'm the avatar! And I was frozen in an iceberg, and then I just, well got unfrozen!
Sokka: Yep, and we'll sell him to the highest bidder! Come on ladies! Unspoiled virgin avatar! He's ready for you!
Kyoshi Mayor Dude: Okay, well since He's the avatar, you can hang around some of the cutest virgins in the entire village!
Aang: Sweet.
Sokka: Hey! What about his owner!
Kyoshi Mayor Dude: Well, You can screw around with these bitches.
(leaves)
Kyoshis: ( crack knuckles)
Sokka: OK ladies, who's ready to take their top off?
Kyoshis: ( induce pain and suffering upon Sokka.)
Sokka: Ahhh! Bruises of love!
Katara: HOW ABOUT SOME MORE OF THOSE!!
Sokka: Suki! Suki! KILL ME PLEASE!!
Suki: eh, naw. Have at him Katara!
(Katara induces more pain upon Sokka)
MEANWHILE
Aang: Come on girls, and I'll show you me in a past life! (points to Kyoshi statue) DANG! I had some big jugs!
Koko: Why are you such a pervert Aangy?
Aang: Cause I said shaddup!
Koko: (mumbles) bastard.
MEANWHILE
Zuko: Hey uncle, I heard that the avatar was on Kyoshi island!
Iroh: Ah, yes! I lost my self-respect there!
Zuko: OO…. Umm ok. Well anyway, we need to get over there and find him!
Iroh: Oh wait! I need to get my porn and warm up first! ( walk away)
Zuko: What? Ok, I need to learn more about Kyoshi Island. ( grabs a brochure) Oh my. ( blushes)
MEANWHILE
Katara: Hey Aang, how's it going?
Aang: Well, if it isn't my main bitch! How's it going sweet cheeks? (gets slapped)
Katara: What happened to you?
Aang: How about I give you one of those slaps on your fine ass!
Katara: (is mortally offended) WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!? I am going to teach you some manners you pervert! ( drags him away by the ear)
MEANWHILE
Sokka: Ok Suki, I guess this is NOT the way you roll.
Suki: Duh you idiot, I'm not some sex slave. I am a Kyoshi warrior and I can whip a man's butt any day of the week!
Sokka: Well, I do have a reputation of getting raped… can you show me some of your moves?
Suki: I'd be glad to, if you promise not to stare at my chest anymore.
Sokka: (sigh) ok.
MEANWHILE
Katara: ( with dummy of a woman) Ok Aang, welcome to Man's Manners class 101. Now, tell me which parts of a woman that draw your eye….
Aang: Well, let's see here! Those fine jugs, ass and well, let's say the place of paradise!
Katara: (sigh) we have a lot of work to do!
MEANWHILE
Suki: Ok, remember, you do the eye gouge, pepper spray, and then the nutcracker to leave him crying.
Sokka: Ok… so that's eye cracker, pepper gouge, and nut spray?
Suki: Oh dear. No. Just kick the rapist in the groin and that's all you need to know!
Sokka: Thank you oh bi… I mean, Kyoshi Warrior Suki.
Suki: Oh Sokka! ( kisses)
Sokka:
MEANWHILE
Zuko: Ok, here we are uncle!
Iroh: YAY! :D
Zuko: Ok, let's burn the dump down and find him.
Iroh: D: NO WAIT! WE MUST FIRST VISIT THE WHOREHOUSE!
Zuko: No uncle! No.
Iroh: Please?
Zuko: Fine…. ANYONE ELSE WANT TO GO?( all raise their hands)Ugh…. Fine, I'll just find him myself.
MEANWHILE
Katara: Ok Aang, I'll ask you one more time… What are the parts of a woman that draw your eye?
Aang: Well, I'd have to say her sparkling blue eyes, but what really gets me is her dazzling smile and warm personality!
Katara: Yay Aang! You did it! (rubs his head)
Far away: KABLOOM!!
Aang: Oh no! Zuko's destroying the town!
Katara: (twitch) Zuko? ZUUUUUUKKKOOOO!! ( runs towards the village)
MEANWHILE
Zuko: Alright avatar! COME OUT! Or I'm going to burn every single… uh… hooker here!
Suki: O no he didn't! (attacks)
Zuko: AAARGH!
Katara: Zuuuko! Iv'e been waiting for you!
Zuko: HOLY CRAP! ( pulls out M80 shot gun and shoots her in the head… the bullet bounces off. He does this about three more times before he gives up.)
Katara: Come here my love!
Zuko: No please! GET AWAY!!
Aang: Katara! Remember the steps!
Zuko: The avatar!
Aang: aw crap. ( runs)
Zuko: QUIT RUNNING! This armor is heavy, I can't run as fast!
Katara: I'll take it off and it won't be such a problem anymore!
Zuko: AAAAHHHH!! HELP ME!
Sokka: Time to use the nutcracker! ( kicks Zuko in the nuts, but since he was wearing armor, all that does is break his toe) OOOOOWWWIEEE!!
Zuko: Ha, ha, ha. That's all I have to say!
Aang: You'd better leave Zuko! Or I'll take off your pants and send Katara after you!
Zuko: OK! Bye Bye! UNCLE! PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON AND LET'S GO!
Iroh: Aw… (zips up fly)
( the firenation ship sails away)
Sokka: Yay! You did it Aang!
Katara: Aw! Sexy Fire Candy is gone
Suki: Ok Sokka, my phone number is 405-WHORE
Sokka: but… I thought…
Suki: (sigh) I didn't get to choose the number.
Sokka: Thanx Suki, I'll remember you always! (kisses and gets on appa)
Suki: CALL ME!
….
That was horrible to write.
I think I'm getting a migraine.