APOV

"I love you," I murmured, softly this time. My head hung down low; I was ashamed. I knew I should have kept this to myself.

"Why?" At this, I was shocked. Not, "How could you," or "But I love Edward," but "Why?" And she didn't even demand it. She asked it gently, as if she spoke to loud, I'd burst into tears.

I looked up at her through my eyelashes. "I- I-I don't know," I finally admitted. "One day your were my best friend, and the next I loved you," I offered as an explination. God, I feel sorry for her. I'm the worst best friend, huh?

"I don't . . I don't know . . . what . . ." She mumbled. She stood up and quickly walked away.

My heart was breaking. The one person I love is walking away, leaving me after I told her something my own husband doesn't know. I wanted to make Bella feel better when she cried, I wanted to smile when she smiled, and I really wanted to be Edward. "Bella!" I called, reaching for her arm as I dashed after her. She looked at me like I was alien.

"Don't touch me!" She hissed in my face. I dropped her hand in shock. Bella never spoke like this. Never. Not even when completely pissed. She started to cry. Her anger somehow caused her to cry.

I wanted nothing more than to wipe the tears of anguish off of her pretty face. I wanted to hold her in my arms and murmur sweet nothings in her ear. I wanted to kiss her, to have her be mine for all eternity. I wanted her.

She looked at me, pain clear on her face. She opened her mouth to speak. I braced myself for all the profanities I seriously deserved. "Why?" she cried, "Why, Alice?" This question had a different connotation than before. "Why me?" is what she really wanted to ask, but she didn't. She couldn't.

"Bella, I'm sorry! I really don't understand. All I know is that I want to be in Edward's position. I want to be your everything! I want you."

She looked at me, curiously. She took a step forward. I had a vision. She was going to kiss me. She took another step. Then another. Now she was two inches from my face.

"I don't know," she said, blowing her breath on my skin. I got goosebumps.

"I do," I whispered seductivly.

She put her forehead on mine. "Alice, do we have to?"

I nodded, bumping my head with hers.

"I love Edward, you know that!" She accused. "You knew that if you told me now, I might-" She cut off, and collasped in a pile, sobbing. My heart twisted in ways that should be banned by the 8th ammendment. I bent down, and petted her.

"Shhh, love. It's okay."

"Don't call me that!" She screamed, voice distorted in pain. "Don't," she whispered. After a few minutes, she looked up. Her face was red, and her eyes blood shot. "Tell me you're lying, Alice. Tell me it's a sick joke Emmett told you to play on me!"

I shook my head. The little hope that had been in her eyes slowly faded to nothing.

She stood, wiped off her hands and looked me in the eye. I knew she didn't want to leave me, but yet, I knew she was. I had the vision just as she made the decision. She could see my face fall. She shook her haed, not as a no, but to clear her thoughts.

"I love you, Alice, but not as a sister. I'm sorry that I can't return those feelings. You know me better that that, love. I'm leaving. I don't know where, so don't try to find out." She looked up, her eyes were dead; she needed me as much as I needed her, but in two opposite ways. She tried to smile, but she failed. She put my hand on her hand on my cheek. I leaned into it. "Goodbye, Alice."

And with that, she walked down the stairs, and out the door. She disappeared from my visions, so i knew she was going down to La Push. I stared at her copy of uthering Heights, and I picked it up. I smelled just like her.

"Alice?" my husband called. "Alice, babe, it's okay. I understand. Well, actually, I really want to be Bella. I love Edward." I turned and faced him. "But since we both need each other-" I ran to him, and jumped on him, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Oh, Jasper!"

I cried tearlessly into Jasper's shoulder, for I could not produce tears. I sobbed for hours, futile in my efforts to release this pain I felt. Why, oh why did I do that?

I haeard the door open and I smelled Edward. "Bella, love?" He called.

"She's not here," I mumbled into Jasper's shirt. I knew that he could still hear me.

"Why is that?"

"She's with the dogs."

"Alice!" He read my htoughts, he saw what I did to her, he saw that I loved her.

"I'm sorry."

I had my suitcase packed, it was on my bed, and I was leaving as soon as Edward arrived.

"Why?" this was the same why as Bella's second, why her, why not Jessica, why not Micke Newton? Why the one person I need? I didn't need to hear thoughts to see that one coming. That why had a double connotaion; why her and why me? Why did I hurt him, why did I betray him. I was his favorite sister, after all. I shook my head. I needed to get out of here.

"Goodbye, Edward."

And with that, I hopped in my car and ran away. Away from the one thing that keeps me sane.